V-Day.: Hankyung's Connections. (AKA Just Turn Off Your Phone!!)
Super Junior Dorm: Hankyung’s Connections. (AKA Just Turn Off Your Phone!!)
This was inspired by the (hilarious) use of text messaging in the story J.A.E.S.U., written by k_chan91, who is quite frankly one of the best comedy fic writers I have come across. ^^ You should check out her stuff, especially if you like DBSK/Suju and well-written hilariousity XD
>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<
YAH! Chullie!
Why aren’t you helping us set up this Free Hug Event yet?
- Hannie -
I’m looking for my skinny jeans.
~ Perfection ~
Why? And aren’t they in your closet?
You just did inventory of it!
- Hannie-
I know.
And I’m not coming without them, Hannie.
~ Perfection ~
Did you want me to go over there and look?
- Hannie -
No, no- I’m just fine on my own here.
I can manage.
Don’t worry your cute little Chinese mind about it.
~ Perfection ~
Okay.
- Hannie -
Nope, I can totally manage on my own here.
~ Perfection ~
No problem at all.
~ Perfection ~
Not one little issue, no sir.
~ Perfection ~
… did you know Kyuhyun has six laptops in his closet?
For what?
~ Perfection ~
They were all logged on to Starcraft, by the way.
Every single one.
… I changed all of his passwords. ^^
~ Perfection ~
Hannie?
~ Perfection ~
WHAT.
- Hannie -
=]
Just wanted to know you were still there.
~ Perfection ~
Hannie?
~ Perfection ~
YES, HEECHUL.
- Hannie -
I love you <3
Still haven’t found those jeans, though.
~ Perfection ~
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Hyung, what’s Heechul doing?
**Wookmaster**
What do you mean?
- Hannie -
He’s locked himself inside of Kyuhyun’s closet somehow…
and it doesn’t even have locks, hyung.
**Wookmaster**
He changed Kyuhyun’s Starcraft passwords.
Are you sure he can’t get out?
- Hannie -
Quite sure.
Sungmin wants him out of his room ASAP.
Can you help?
**Wookmaster**
I’m at the Free Hug event right now setting up.
Can this wait?
- Hannie -
Um…
I don’t know how long he can last with a limited oxygen supply…
**Wookmaster**
Leave him there.
- Hannie -
Crap, did I just send that?
IGNORE IT!
- Hannie -
Haha, it’s okay-
sometimes I really understand.
**Wookmaster**
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Heechul is chasing Eunhyuk around the dorm right now.
::Pwnagedshr::
Why?
- Hannie -
Something about pants, I don’t know.
::Pwnagedshr::
Oh, hell.
Well, at least he managed to come out of the closet just fine.
- Hannie -
I phrased that awkwardly.
- Hannie-
Who’s closet, mine?
::Pwnagedshr::
OMG WTF MY BABIES!
::Pwnagedshr::
MY LIFE IS RUINED.
::Pwnagedshr::
HANNIE WHAT WILL I DO WITH MYSELF?!
::Pwnagedshr::
Idk. Sing?
- Hannie -
Action: block this sender?
Action: approved.
You will receive no more messages from this sender.
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Hangeng, listen up-
something crazy is going on here.
Where are you?
- Mi -
I. Am. Setting. Up. Our. Free. Hug. Event. Why?
- Hannie -
Okay, so- Heechul is screaming and chasing Eunhyuk around,
Kyuhyun is chasing Heechul,
Sungmin is chasing Kyuhyun to try to get him to calm down-
Ryeowook is chasing him for the same reason,
and Leeteuk is laughing at all of them.
- Mi -
Nvm, now Donghae joined in, but he thinks it’s a game.
And now Kibum’s in this cuz he’s trying to stop him.
Oh, my God.
- Mi -
What?
- Hannie -
What?
- Hannie -
>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<
Hyung… I’m scared. 0.0
- Henli -
>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<
You have a new voicemail in your inbox.
Action: open message.
“Hankyung! HANKYUNG! WHY WON’T YOU ANSWER YOUR PHONE?! I NEED YOU TO TALK TO HEECHUL. IF YOU DON’T, I WILL DIE WITHOUT KNOWING A WOMAN’S WARMTH. PLEASE- Heechul, STOP! I’ll take them off right now! Yes- in the middle of the street! Right here, with all these people judging me! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! Hello? Hankyung? I got away from him for a bit. Okay, so look- I took his skinny jeans from his closet to try them on- just try them on! He happened to find me in them at that exact moment and then he went all beserko on me. Please, I didn’t know he was that protective of his clothes- OW! That’s… my… PHILTRUM! Yesung, since when did you get into this tiff too? Damnit, OW! Hankyung- Hankyung, I- I don’t even have pants on anymore. But he’s still chasing after me! This won’t end, will it? Hankyung, I have to go now. I leave my trust in you and only you. Goodbye.”
Option: delete message?
Action: message deleted.
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I sense the need of prayer. Am I correct?
++BibleBehBeh++
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You have a new voicemail in your inbox.
Action: open message.
“Hannie. This is Heechul. I am currently dodging Kyuhyun. I have no idea where my assassin is at the moment, but I have a feeling he’s close by. Hannie, listen- Eunhyuk gave me back the jeans but I don’t even care about them anymore; I’m following him cuz he’s pretty damn fast and I just want Kyuhyun off of my tail. He has long legs and I can’t outrun him and I have never been this afraid of a maknae before in my life. Remind me to never, ever mess with Starcraft again. I want to live for this Free Hug Event, Hannie. I really do. Thousands of girls are about to dote upon me and remind me how amazing I am. I have to be there. Save me.”
Option: save message?
Action: message saved.
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Action: lift block on this sender?
Action: approved.
You will now receive all messages from this sender.
Stop. I’ll fix your laptops;
I know all of Heechul’s passwords.
- Hannie -
THANK YOU, DAMNIT.
::Pwnagedshr::
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Thanks, Hannie! =D
I love you <333
~ Perfection ~
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Thank you SO MUCH m(T__T)m
]]monkiiskramble[[
>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<
You’re no damn fun. =[
=Leader!Man=
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I’m going to do Heechul’s hair now!!!!!
##turtehl##
The other members are mad that it’s taking so long for me to do his hair!!!!
##turtehl##
Now the other members are leaving to the event without me!!!!
##turtehl##
Guess what?! I’m the only one here now!!!!
##turtehl##
Now I’m doing my hair!!!!!
##turtehl##
I’ll be like 30 minutes late!!!!!
##turtehl##
Sorry!!!!!!
##turtehl##
Action: block this sender?
Action: approved.
You will receive no more messages from this sender.
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A/N: So, um... was this easy to follow? And did you enjoy it? XD
RECAP TIME!
You have to understand that in writing a chaptered crack!fic, keeping up with the basic plot is effing difficult. So, here’s what’s going on thus far:
1) Hero is a woman, and is currently still trying to tell her hyungs (oppas?) this little fact.
2) Yesung has created a doll that resembles Hero (or rather, Hiffany from the party 2 weeks earlier), and it is this that is probably causing Hero’s feminine grief.
3) The members of Super Junior are insane going to hold a Free Hug Event at an undisclosed location as of yet. Yesung is still at the Suju dorm… obviously.
4) On the DBSK front, Hero is still in her room being all weepy and moody and… slightly groped. Hint for things to come: poor Xiah. XD
I apologize if it’s hard to follow. >_> *bowsbowsbows*
In the coming chapters I can promise you things will come back together and the groups will not be as separated like they are now. ^__^
Every comment I receive is like a sprinkle of fairy dust.
… Who doesn’t want to go to Neverland?
… That’s what I thought.
… I wanna go…
Take me there with a SHINee (har har) comment? :3