The Secret Santa Conundrum
READ THIS BEFORE YOU READ: I called this “The Secret Santa Conundrum” because in my head, for some unexplainable reason, Yoochun and Junsu played their own game of Secret Santa, and Yoochun picked Jaejoong while Junsu picked Yunho. They decided to team up and get a “gift” for the both of them (working behind the scenes, so to speak- you’ll see), and this is what ensued. Plus I like the word “conundrum.” Don’t you? =P
It was 7:30 PM on Christmas Eve in the heart of the city of Seoul. The weather outside was lovely; a crisp 35 degrees with little wind. The air smelled of a delicious combination of wintertime and peppermint (probably due to the overindulgent amount of candy canes being eaten at this time of year; or perhaps it was the smell of Starbucks overcharging people for shots of mint flavor- the world may never know). The sounds of laughter and bells rang through the skies and the feeling of utter joy and anticipation swept through the entire country of South Korea for the day to come.
Inside a small apartment paid for by a stupid company by the name of SME, not a creature was stirring- or dared to, that is. Inside this small apartment, a storm was brewing. A storm that could only have been avoided by not allowing it to have happened in the first place. And yet, alas, it had.
Someone had stolen Jaejoong’s spinach, and all hell had broken loose.
“Yah hyung, could you keep your girlish squeals down to minimum? I’m trying to watch the Charlie Brown Christmas Special here and you’re ruining it,” Max yelled from the living room to the oldest member as his eyes steadfastly remained glued to the TV screen.
“Maxwell,” Jaejoong responded in his calmest voice while stirring some kind of scrumptious-smelling concoction in a pan large enough to qualify for use in a soup kitchen. His answer was not the beginning of a statement; it was the end of this argument.
“Don’t call me Maxwell, that’s not even my stage name, you dork!”
“Then don’t tell me to shut up!” Jaejoong screeched back. An awkward silence followed, and the man wished for once his fellow members were here to block out the obnoxious noises of the seasonal TV specials and the sounds of Max’s giggles that blatantly ignored him from the room across from his kitchen.
A few seconds after and lot of calming in-and-out-breathing later, the singer apologized to his dongsaeng, gently asking: “Maxwell, I need to know- have you seen my spinach anywhere?” As he got the childish lack of response back, Jaejoong stooped into the living room with his hands on his hips, trying his best to look like a responsible hyung who demanded attention.
“You look like an oompa-loompa,” Max said as he looked Jaejoong up and down, finally speaking after a few seconds of contemplation. “A really mean oompa-loompa that likes to do bad things to people even if all they want is a snack from the kitchen,” the youngest added with a pout.
Jaejoong sighed. “Look, it was one time and I was having a bad day and, like- I forgot I was holding the knife, okay? And- an oompa-loompa? Why?”
Max snorted. “You tied your bangs up like a freaking troll doll and your apron is so covered in lines and color patterns my mind can’t even begin to pick up a trend- and you’re wearing pointy elf shoes.”
The singer looked at his outfit and shook his head in disbelief. “I was going for an elf, you asshole. ’Tis the season! And anyway, Yunho gave the apron to me as a birthday present last year, remember? Yeah?”
With his attention to the screen again, Max mumbled into the couch pillow he was holding. “That’s because he wants your body and you’re too willing, gullible and stupid to notice the difference, hyung.”
“Come again?”
“Nothing at all, Joongie~ I haven’t seen your spinach, so go back to your food haven and make Christmas Eve dinner!”
An exasperated sigh came from the older of the two. “That’s my problem, I can’t make dinner without the spinach-“
Just then the door opened, and an epiphany of off-key singing and shouting announced the presence of Yoochun, Junsu, and Yunho.
Jaejoong ran up to the other members, giving Yunho a frown as he realized the two men who were currently leaning on either side of his best friend’s shoulders were as drunk as could be. “They wanted to have a good time tonight… and um, I think they had too much fun,” the leader explained quickly with a sheepish grin.
“I… AM… NOT… DRUNK… ENOUGH… TO DANCE!” Yoochun shouted in English at no one in particular as Jaejoong grabbed him from Yunho’s careful hands and pulled him away from Junsu, who was giggling nonstop at something he called “the Secret Santa Conundrum” that no one could quite understand.
Max ignored the whole lot of them, fixated on Charlie Brown’s sad attempt at decorating his wimpy Christmas tree and not on his older band mates in a drunken stupor.
I’m banning trips to anywhere we can get alcohol- that includes airplanes, too. Yep, say goodbye to VIP airline service and hello to sober coach fun, boys, Jaejoong chided inwardly as he carried Yoochun over to his own bedroom. Before he even made it past the archway that led to the rooms, however, the intoxicated man in Jaejoong’s arms flailed helplessly and landed on the ground with a light thump.
In a slight daze, Yoochun glanced around and opened his eyes as big as they could go, taking in DBSK’s umma’s image. “When did you get here, hyung?” he asked cockily, raising an eyebrow with a leer.
Jaejoong made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat and shoved his friend up. “This is why you shouldn’t drink, you sleaze ball,” he warned him.
Yoochun furiously refused to be put into his own bedroom, insisting for some strange reason to be allowed to sleep in Jaejoong’s bed instead. “I want to sleep someplace new today <3” he said. Not wanting to upset his drunken friend, Jaejoong stuffed Yoochun into his room and threatened him with his life if he damaged any of his property through the night.
I guess we won’t be having spinach puffs with dinner. And I wanted to try something new, too… Jaejoong thought belatedly, remembering finally he never even got to search properly for the vegetable.
And then he went back to cooking, spinachless.
It was 7:30 AM on Christmas Day in the heart of the city of Seoul, and inside a small apartment paid for by the devil SME, a man by the name of Xiah Junsu was giddy with excitement as he woke up the rest of his roommates like- well, like a child on Christmas morning.
“It’s time, it’s time!” he exclaimed, shoving the covers off of Yunho and Jaejoong (who slept in Yunho’s bed because his was currently being used by an alcoholic Yoochun).
Yunho laughed softly at the innocent way Junsu peeked at him as he opened his eyes. It was times like these he really loved being the leader of Dong Bang Shin Ki; it was also times like these he wanted to emphasize his desire for a large family. Kids would just be too cute.
Jaejoong, on the other hand, grunted and tried to shove the covers back onto his body. He had fallen asleep after changing into a pair of Yunho’s pajamas, but they were too big so he had settled for sleeping in a T-shirt and boxers and he was quite cold. He tried to cuddle into the warmth that was his best friend’s furnace-like skin, sighing contentedly as a hand firmly gripped his waist and held him close.
And then a pillow hit him in the face. “WAKE UP!” Junsu yelled giddily, quickly running out of the room. The man may have been a little too out of it for his own good sometimes, but he knew enough not to be within range of an angry Jaejoong.
Within the next fifteen minutes, Junsu had managed to wake all of the four men up- even Yoochun, who still had a slight hangover (where had Junsu’s gone, anyway?)- and assembled them into the living room, gathered around the over-decorated Christmas tree.
Within the next thirty minutes, all the gifts had been exchanged to the amusement and confusion of the others.
“Why did you get me this?” Max asked Jaejoong angrily, throwing the videotape: How to Control Your Emotional Urges- Stop Eating Your Heart Out! at him. “Well, Maxwell, I thought this way you would stop coming to attack my kitchen area as I cook and I could lessen the chance of an accidental bad-mood homicide,” the oldest responded curtly.
“Thank you so much for this Dolphin night-light, Yoochun! You always come through for me!” Junsu gushed at his friend, throwing his arms around him dramatically in happiness. Yoochun smiled gently as he grasped the (expensive) purple friendship bracelet he had received in return, looking at it even as Junsu held him in excitement.
Everyone knew Max had forgotten all about Christmas, if the bags of store-bought cookies as gifts for each member were anything to go by; but after all, it was the thought that counted. And no one bought him anything (except for Jaejoong), anyway- Max always forgot every holiday but he never forgot what time dinner was supposed to be each night.
And on that note, both Jaejoong and Yunho had decided two Christmases earlier to stop buying each other presents- it had become a game of “Who can get the better gift?!” and it had gone a little too far once Yunho had almost bought a city in northern Hokkaido and named it BooJae.
And with that, the exchanging of the gifts was over, but the spirit of Christmas lingered as the tight-knit family of singers sat down together to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas together at the insistence of a rather TV-happy Max(well).
Yunho’s POV
Jaejoong’s head is on my lap- oh, my God Jaejoong’s head is on my lap. His soft hair is under my hands- he’s even letting me stroke his beautiful honey hair! I don’t know why he’s always letting me touch him- he won’t crawl into bed with Yoochun or Junsu or, forbid me for saying so- Max. I mean, he plays around with them but never lets them be this close to them. Oh, what I wouldn’t do for a real moment with Jaejoong- not just a forced sleepover in my bedroom or a warm lap to lay on during a movie, but real interaction between the two of us. Surely he knows, right? Surely he knows I treat him the way I do because I have feelings for him. Surely he knows the reason why I asked him to stop giving gifts- right? I wasn’t going to buy him a city in Hokkaido for Christmas, I was going to finally tell the man I lov-
Jaejoong’s POV
I never got to make spinach puffs. Where the HELL could my spinach have gone? I bought it fresh earlier in the day yesterday, so it just doesn’t add up. I know Max wouldn’t have devoured that at least- he hates it- haha, kind of why I was planning on making those puffs in the first place. Little one-touch loser dongsaeng. And why does Yoochun always have to drag Junsu with him to go drinking? They obviously called Yunho to pick them up last night and take them home. Poor Yunho- he does so much for this group. I wish I could do something to help him sometimes, but he just gets this lost look on his face whenever I tell him he can confide anything in me. Oh, well. A secretive man is wont to be secretive. Ah, Yunho- ah, right there! Gosh, I love it when people run hands through my hair. It feels orgas-
It was 7:30 PM on Christmas Day in the small apartment paid for by Lee Soo Manless SME, and not a creature dared to be found- because Jaejoong had found the spinach. In his bedroom. On the ceiling.
“What in the name of Ramyun is going on?!” Jaejoong screamed out loud, not really at anyone in particular; he was just setting the tone for the rest of the night’s fighting as it got ready to commence.
Yunho ran into his friend’s bedroom, hand on his heart in concern. Once you took the name of ramyun in vain, something was up. “Boojae, what happened?” he asked quickly, a deeply apprehensive look swallowing his small facial features.
Jaejoong pointed to his bed, where a sign had been posted with an arrow pointing “up” and the note “Merry Christmas from Chunnie~~” written in fast handwriting underneath it. Yunho looked “up” at the ceiling, where indeed the spinach was hanging, with a little red ribbon tied around it cutely as a finishing touch.
Yunho stifled a giggle, saying only: “It looks like he tried to make, like… mistletoe out of it, or something.”
“Or something is right,” Jaejoong said in a dark tone. “And I’m gonna do something else to that boy for ruining my spinach puffs!” he threatened as he sprinted out of his room and into the living room where Yoochun was reading A Christmas Carol to a surprisingly enthralled Junsu and Max.
It’s like we’re one happy, amazing family, Jaejoong thought warmly.
And then he jumped Yoochun.
In less than five seconds, Yunho had grabbed his best friend away from the pianist, and Max had quickly retreated away from the scuffle to his room where he claimed he could “get away from this tensile madness,” whatever that meant.
Junsu looked like he was going to cry as he watched the scene in front of him, but Yoochun smiled at him warmly and told him Jaejoong wasn’t going to hurt him.
Of course, he only had the courage to say that once Yunho was holding Jaejoong in a fierce grip to keep him from committing almost homicide again.
In the following ten minutes, Jaejoong had been placed into his bedroom for one hour under his best friend’s punishment orders, and Yoochun was not allowed near the kitchen ever again.
Yunho’s POV
My goodness, he looks so upset- look at him pouting there, sitting on his bed. He’s been pinching his lips in aggravation, I see. They’re so plump and red now. I just want to- ah, now he’s cursing. Aish, not so much, Joongie- it’s a turn-off when you get so angry like this. There, there- that’s it, head back into my lap. I love the silkiness of your hair. I love the shape and color of your eyes. See, I’m smiling for you, Boo- doesn’t that make you happy? I can see you smiling, too, now. Can the others make you smile so easily? No one else can make me like this, Boo. Just you. Maybe I should-
Jaejoong’s POV
Ah, those hands again- ah, stroke, stroke, stroke my hair. I feel like a cat when he rubs my head like this. It always manages to cheer me up. He always manages to cheer me up. But that’s what best friends are for, right? Screw Yoochun and his wastefulness- he’ll never get to know the amazingness of my spinach puffs and for that I am sad on his behalf. I say on his behalf because he is too stupid to realize that he is, in fact, sad about this. Oh, poor Junsu- he looked so sad earlier. Maybe I should make him some food? I know just how to make his favorite dessert- that’s it! I’ll make him dessert to cheer him up. A guy like him doesn’t deserve to be sad on Christmas. Ah, Yunho’s even suggested I should do it, now. Guess my punishment is up. I’ll go now before I get too sidetracked with the amazing shoulder massage he just started giving me, ah~
At 9:00 PM on Christmas Day, in a kitchen probably paid for by slave drivers SME, Jaejoong sidled into the cooking area to make cream puffs- Junsu’s favorite. And the fact that it was some kind of puff, at least, made the DBSK umma very happy.
Yunho accompanied him into the kitchen, smiling as he watched the older man use the correct measurements for ingredients without needing measuring cups or spoons at all.
Jaejoong was like a busy little whirlwind on a mission, pushing Yunho here and there in his furiously elated attempt at cheering up an otherwise cheer-deflated child Junsu.
The living room was dark, the TV was silent, the bedrooms still and calm. No one was awake but these two, although that seemed a little odd for nine at night. Still, such was the case.
Jaejoong caught sight of Yunho ogling him in awe as he put together a quick batch of salivate-worthy cream puffs and smiled to himself in pride. Just as he was putting the puffs into a basket to make them look a little more… gift-presentable, Jaejoong dropped one of his pastries and bent to pick it up at the same time Yunho made the move himself.
Their heads collided comically, and Yunho pulled his body back with a weak-sounding “ouch.” Jaejoong laughed and scooted the cream puff from the floor and then threw it away in one swift movement.
A bit of the cream from the pastry was left on Jaejoong’s thumb, and Yunho made a move with his hand as if asking, “May I?” to which his best friend shrugged and held out his finger. Without thinking, Yunho licked the cream off and immediately started blushing as soon as he realized what he had just done.
Jaejoong froze on the spot, confused as to why he was blushing just like Yunho was.
And then it hit him. “Yunho-yah,” he began in all seriousness. “Look; we have fevers! We’re sick; we’re together so much we both got sick at the same time!”
Yunho looked utterly stunned, not knowing what to say. “You idiot,” he breathed to himself.
“What?”
“Nothing. Hey, Jaejoong? What’s that above your head?” the leader asked, actually curious as to what was resting on the ceiling of the kitchen. Its figure casted strange prickly shadows in the meager lighting of the dark apartment.
“I swear to Ramyun if it’s more spinach- Oh! Hey look, it’s mistletoe!” Jaejoong realized with a sudden familiar happiness bubbling inside him. “I love mistletoe. It’s so pretty. And romantic, right, Yunnie?” he asked in jest, poking his elbow suggestively at his friend.
Yunho sighed loudly and pulled Jaejoong close to him. “Wanna know a little Christmas secret? We’re not sick, Jaejoong,” he informed his blatantly oblivious best friend. Jaejoong’s eyes widened.
“We’re not?”
“No. We’re in love.” Yunho’s gaze was serious. His tone was serious. He was serious.
“Oh. Wait, what?!” At that, Jaejoong began to feel an odd warmth spread throughout his entire body, and a big, foolish smile light up his face without permission. Yunho smiled with him- and hesitantly, he pressed his first kiss upon his best friend’s lips.
Jaejoong bit back a surprised sound as Yunho’s lips met his, honestly amazed at the wonderful shock waves it sent through his body and mind. The world was spinning but he couldn't see, couldn't breathe; he could only feel Yunho, and the welcoming emotion he provided in every touch of his fingertips that graced the pale skin of Jaejoong's neck.
With a coy look, Jaejoong pulled away from Yunho just enough to look into his eyes again, now giving his mouth permission to smile as big as it liked.
And then he pulled the leader to him once more, meeting his lips for the second time in a lifetime, with the promise of many more to come. The whole of time lay before them.
At 10:00 PM on Christmas Day in the heart of the city of Seoul, the most precious package of all had been delivered to two very deserving people.
Merry Christmas, BooJae; I’ve waited so long to give you this gift.
If one were to look at the sign Junsu had attached to his bedroom door, it read: Merry Christmas, Yunho and Jaejoong. Umma and Appa deserve the most precious gifts in the world.
The Secret Santa Conundrum: Complete.
A/N: So, I hope you all enjoyed that disturbingly fluffy story^^ I was thinking of writing the entire thing again from the POV of Yoochun and Junsu and how they set up Yunjae in the first place. Because trust me, there was so much going on in the background in my mind >=] Hehehe. Anyways, thanks for reading! (Btw, how did the Yunho and Jaejoong POV parts go? It was fun writing the nonsense that goes through Hero's mind sometimes lol)