hopes and fears

[yflyn]

The Bun seems to be in the midst of a fearful, anxiety-ridden phase. In his comfort zones (i.e. home and his grandparents' homes) he is spirited, cheeky, talkative, even rowdy. In other familiar places that we frequent (the library, the supermarket, etc) he is also generally fine, although, like his parents, he dislikes crowds. But take him to a

Comments

[trevisinsz]

I have been a silent reader but I just had to comment on this post. My boy is 2 years old and he is very shy. He freezes up whenever he sees children playing around him at the playground. He will panic and try to find an escape route. When he goes to play class, he refuses to follow any actions but the moment he reaches home, he will start 'singing' songs or start dancing or repeating the actions he learnt in school. It takes him a while to warm up to people before he will interact with them. Otherwise, he is a delightful child when he play with people he knows. I tell myself not to worry and that he will grow out of it. Then again, my husband and I take a while to warm up to people too. I try to make an effort to be sociable so as to set an example to him but it is not easy. I just like to share this with you so that you know that you are not alone.

[yflyn]

Hi, thanks for sharing. The Bun is very similar to your son - he reacts the same way to other children in the playground, but he's so rowdy and boisterous at home. It's never easy watching one's child behave in such a fearful way, but as you say, we need to model confidence and positive behaviour so that they can learn.

[iceglacier]

I don't know if you've tried this, but we try not to use negative words like "scared" when we talk to our kid. It sort of helps (sometimes). Like when she's whining and crying, I'll say something like "where's my happy/brave/big girl?". She'll remember that she likes the praise when she's a happy/brave/big girl and she sort of tries to get over her fear. I think

Trying to be Little Miss Positive drives me nuts sometimes cos it's tough for me to keep up this hyper-happy-attitude when all I want is to throw her out the window!!

Oh well, at least when they're 13 they probably won't want us hanging around them anyway... so 11 more years to go? heh.

[yflyn]

Yes, that's a good suggestion. I do tend to avoid the word 'scared' but he tells me that's what he feels, and if I say 'let's have fun/be brave/happy' etc he flatly says 'no' and I'm not quite sure how to respond to that.

Must work the super positive attitude! I'm starting to realise just what they mean when they say children raise their parents...