Not love, spring or cherry blossoms for everyone [1/2]
For: EVERYONE
Title: Not love, spring or cherry blossoms
Pairing(s): Chanyeol/D.O, Chanyeol/Baekhyun (mentions of Baekhyun/Kai)
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): Totally unbetaed, lapslock, movie quotes, internet quotes, mentions of sex, sehun’s rubber duck.
Length: 12.5k
Summary: Kyungsoo was chanyeol's first love. spring and debugs are involved somehow.
Author's note: dear recipient, i'm so sorry i turned your simply prompt into this huge, nonsensical monster, i hope you enjoy it anyways. and i'm so sorry this is really bad. huge thanks to the most adorable mod who had so much patience with me, i love you. and thank you. shout out to m, who held my hand throughout the hard time i had while writing.
chanyeol still remembers the day he first met kyungsoo. he was seven and new in the neighborhood. it was in the middle of spring and his firlst day at the new school and he felt nervous. his mother said it was natural to be nervous and that he shouldn't worry, as he let go of her hand and ran to his new classroom. she was sure her little sunshine would make tons of new friends.
the teacher quickly introduced him to the rest of the class and pointed at a seat in the middle, he'd be sharing his table with another boy, a tiny one with huge eyes and black hair that was cut into a bow shape.
soon after he sat, he felt a tiny hand touching his shoulder, when he turned around to look at the other boy, he was met with chubby cheeks pulled into a huge smile.
"hi, my name is kyungsoo! let's be friends"
chanyeol liked spring.
⁃
he remembers the first time he almost got into his first fight.
chanyeol was coming out of the classroom for lunch break when a boy cornered kyungsoo, whose eyes promptly filled with tears. it was the first time chanyeol felt really angry as he threw his rilakkuma lunchbox on the floor and ran to where his friend was.
he threw his arms over kyungsoo and kicked the boy, who fell on the floor. he turned to kyungsoo and hugged him as the boy got up and ran away. chanyeol then started to panic as the boy in front of him started to cry for real.
"soo! did i made something wrong? are you hurt?" he wanted to cry too. instead he took kyungsoo by the hand and went back to their classroom to talk with their teacher.
later as kyungsoo's tears came to a halt, he explained between tiny sobs that the other boy said he was small and that's the reason why he cried. kyungsoo hated to be small, he wanted to be tall just like chanyeol was.
⁃
chanyeol then decided that since he was the taller one between the two of them, that it was entirely his duty to take care of kyungsoo and never let anyone upset him. also that he'd always make sure to make the small boy drink milk everyday so he could grow up and be as taller as him.
that day, kyungsoo shared half of his lunch box with chanyeol and shyly gave him a kiss on the cheek as a form of gratitude.
they were two weeks into spring when, with his cheeks and tip of ears red, chanyeol said spring was his favorite season and kyungsoo said they weren't best friends but "best best friends".
they became even more inseparable.
⁃
chanyeol loved kyungsoo's voice, and the younger boy loved to sing.
he was eleven when kyungsoo finally won his first trophy at the anual spring competition, his mother crying hugging him and chanyeol tearing up at the scene.
kyungsoo had looked so little alone onstage, it was endearing. the judges fell in love with his voice and he was showered with praises, making everyone happy.
on the way back home, kyungsoo proudly stared at the trophy on his hand.
"i'm really proud of you, soo" chanyeol said, earning a shy smile from the other boy, his eyes turning into crescents, it was the same smile he gave chanyeol when they first met.
for some reason, chanyeol blushed.
⁃
he remembers when kyungsoo moved away. he was twelve.
"when are you leaving?" chanyeol asked, looking at the ground, still perplexed.
"in five days? maybe six, we're not sure. my dad just told us his boss needed him abroad as soon as possible". he sighed, fixing his glasses on his nose.
"that's... too soon?" he didn't wanted it to sound rude but it was indeed too soon and he didn't had anything better too say.
"yeah, it is. my mom said he could go first and we'd go next month, but he said no... seungsoo is having a hard time too, will have to break up with his girlfriend and all."
chanyeol looked up to see a sad frown decorating kyungsoo's face. he felt sad but it was inevitable. kyungsoo too, wanted all of this to be a joke. he didn't knew what to do at that point and looking at chanyeol's sad face only made him feel worse, he really wanted to stay.
he then went back home, promising chanyeol that he would finish packing during the night so they could spend the rest of his remaining days together.
chanyeol only understood the news when the door was closed, his best friend was going to leave him.
the days passed by quickly as promises were exchanged alongside with gifts, hugs were given and pictures were taken and soon chanyeol found himself crying in his mother embrace after coming back from the airport.
"i should have asked him to stay, m-mom. he's s-so small, i need to protect him!" he said between sobs, his cheeks were tear stained and it pained his mom to see her sunshine so clouded.
she hugged him closer to her chest, "you can still contact him, sweetie. i know he will be far but he's still your friend, there's no distance when it comes to friends" she said, smiling.
kyungsoo left on the fourth day of spring, the season had just barely started. chanyeol decided it was no longer his favorite season.
"nothing will change, trust me" his mother said as she kissed chanyeol's forehead, turning off the lights before leaving his room.
"nothing will change", he repeated, trying to reassure himself.
that night he dreamt of a boy running away and as he tried to reach for him, he kept going away even further.
⁃
things changed.
they tried to keep contact, succeeding on the first month but as timezone, school, personal schedules and expensive phone bills got on the way, it didn't lasted any longer and sadly but naturally, they drifted apart.
but as time passed, ever since kyungsoo left, chanyeol noticed that he would always think about him one time or another. he wondered if kyungsoo was eating well, how was life going on his new house, maybe he has a new best friend? it's completely normal to think about someone you miss with frequency, right?
but he couldn't understand why every time those thoughts occured, his heart would beat faster and he'd always have the urgency to smile. when he slept, he'd dream of holding kyungsoo's hand and kissing his cheeks.
he was confused, because all of his fourteen years old friends talked about their dreams about curvy girls with long hairs and sparkly eyes, whilst chanyeol dreamt of a small boy with heart shaped lips and huge eyes, of how his smile would make his eyes turn into crescents and how his voice was the sweetest he ever heard.
perhaps while the cherry blossoms were blooming outside, something inside his heart was too.
⁃
chanyeol had just turned sixteen when he opened the front door to come face to face with kyungsoo.
the boy was different, he had grown up since the last time he saw him, but was still smaller, their height difference was still big since chanyeol himself had grown quite a lot.
his hair was now dyed red and had an undercut, on his right ear he had a piercing, his glasses were still the round type, perched perfectly on his nose. he looked like the epitome of a rebel teenager, but his still slightly chubby cheeks and the soft look on his face could tell it was a lie.
he looked perfect, breathtaking even. chanyeol thought to himself.
"chanyeol", kyungsoo said, he seemed relieved and chanyeol was petrified. his eyes widened enough to compete with the other teen.
"i'm so," he paused, smiling at chanyeol. "i'm so glad you still live here. i mean, it has been a while and i was afraid you moved" he muffled a laugh with his hand, staring intently at chanyeol's widened eyes. he's so cute.
"but i see you still live here, i'm really glad". he shyly smiled but then started to panic as chanyeol was yet to say something or at least give him some reaction.
"chanyeol? are you okay?" he waved his hand in front of the taller boy who finally seemed to be back on earth.
"k-kyungsoo.." chanyeol felt like punching himself, why the hell was he stuttering for?
"yes?" kyungsoo smiled.
"wow. i- i mean, hi" he nervously laughed and gave kyungsoo some space, allowing him inside his house, softly closing the door after
"when did you get back? i mean, i'm surprised to see you, really'. they were now sat at chanyeol's couch, a good distance between them, the air was still awkward.
chanyeol's mind was still going into overdrive, he'd wished, wanted to see kyungsoo so much and now he was in front of him again
"i just got back today, like two hours ago. i really wanted to see you first thing". he gave chanyeol a half smile and closed his eyes, sighing.
"i've missed you", he then said, and somehow it was getting hard for chanyeol to breathe again, why was his heart suddenly beating so fast?
"listen, i-"
"i've mi-"
"you go first". kyungsoo said and they both chuckled, the air finally letting them at ease.
chanyeol's mother soon returned from work and hugged kyungsoo so tight the boy turned red from the lack of breath. she said kyungsoo looked perfect and chanyeol without thinking said stunning was more appropriate, making both him and kyungsoo blush at his choice of words.
his mother chuckled and ushered them to chanyeol's bedroom, telling them she would soon call them back once dinner was ready.
"your room is still the same, are you still twelve? nothing changed except for the anime posters", kyungsoo said, his back turned to chanyeol who was still waiting at the door, admiring the way the small boy looked and touched the pictures chanyeol had of both of them on his desk.
he sat at his bed while kyungsoo sat on his desk chair, fidgeting with his fingers. he looked nervous, chanyeol noticed. remembering how he'd always play with his fingers when he wasn't sure of what to say.
after two minutes of silence, kyungsoo finally spoke.
"the reason i got back is because my parents are getting a divorce", he sighed. "it's not really decided but i think they are going to get it soon. mom asked me to stay here with my grandparents until she finds out what she's going to do"
"seungsoo is at his university's dorm so i had to came alone."
chanyeol's eyes widened, he would never imagine kyungsoo's parents to get a divorce, they always looked so in love, so different of his own parents who got a divorce when he was nine.
"what? man, i'm so sorry" he said, he knew exactly what it was like but still he didn't knew what to say.
"you don't have to be, really. i thought everything was okay, but i guess i should have noticed with the amount of fights that it was bound to happen one way or another”. he finished and looked at chanyeol, smiling. he knew once again that chanyeol wouldn't really have something to say, the look he was giving him was the same one he gave when he said he was going to move out of the country.
"you don't have to say anything, you know? don't give me this look too" he clucked and walked to his friend's bed, sitting at his side before patting his now honey brown hair.
"why do you have a ponytail?" he asked and chanyeol smiled.
"come on, we still have a lot to catch up. we'll have time, right?"
⁃
after hours of talking and a delicious dinner, kyungsoo got up to go home, remembering how he told his grandmother he'd be home soon and that she was probably worried about him. hugging his friend's mom one last time with promises of coming back, kyungsoo walked to the front door together with chanyeol, who hugged him.
"i've missed you too" he said as his hand patted kyungsoo's hair, it was really soft and faintly smelled of strawberries. kyungsoo looked up at him and smiled, returning the hug. his smile was heartbreakingly beautiful. chanyeol wished he could take control of his heart rate, it was thumping so loud he was sure it got a little bit more louder, kyungsoo would hear it.
"it's good to have you back" he said as kyungsoo went down the small staircase, nodding his head and giving him a smile again, slowly turning his back and walking away. chanyeol then closed the door and sighed.
that night, chanyeol had a hard time trying to sleep, but once sleep came, again dreamt of kyungsoo. but instead of holding his hand and kissing his cheek, he hugged him close and kissed his lips.
⁃
together with the rediscover of their friendship, winter came.
kyungsoo enrolled at his school to finish the school year and it brightened chanyeol's mood to the fullest.
they were spending so much time together and it was making chanyeol more and more confused. girls never grabbed his attention, he always thought his classmates were really pretty but he never wanted to kiss them, run his hand through their hairs or even want to put his hand on their boobs like his classmates always bragged about doing.
he always wanted of a short boy, wonderful eyes and heartbreaking smile, soft hands and beautiful lips.
chanyeol wasn't sure but everytime kyungsoo smiled at him or got close, his heart would tight so much in his ribcage he'd think it was really breaking. he'd feel breathless and he just wanted to know why.
⁃
spring soon came, warming the streets and releasing them of the cold winter they endured, flowers blossoming and blooming with colors everywhere and soon the new school year would start.
kyungsoo's mother had called him in early january with the good news of her return in the middle of the year, she still had a few things to settle before coming back so she postponed it to mid july. the news made both boys jump in pure joy.
as the new school year began, chanyeol became more aware of his surroundings, how girls and even boys would corner kyungsoo too much. he wasn't sure of why suddenly he became too possessive of the boy as if those people would take kyungsoo away from him again. he was feeling so jealous of people trying to befriend the other it was starting to affect him. he saw these people as threats for their friendship.
but at the same time he would laugh at himself because he knew kyungsoo wasn't stupid enough to stop talking to him because of other people so "why are you being so jealous, chanyeol?", that was what kyungsoo would say everytime he glared at someone who talked to kyungsoo.
that's when realization came and he finally understood what was happening with himself. that the urge to hold kyungsoo, kiss him and hold his hand wasn't because their friendship was strong, he was in love with him.
he was scared of it.
maybe love was a strong word, but the more he thought the more it looked like. friends weren't supposed to want to kiss their best friends on the lips, right? and he was sure as hell friends don't get nervous or blush when they hug each other too.
he became quiet after it. he still wasn't sure if he was gay, but google told him he might be.
it wasn't easy, to bear the fact that you could potentially be in love with your best friend and still act like nothing was going on. he tried to touch kyungsoo less, hug him less, look at him less, glare less at people who tried to aproach the boy. he couldn't do this, kyungsoo wasn't his property, and would never like him back so why bother? he even though kyungsoo would feel disgusted if he knew about his feelings.
everyday he tried to tell himself it wasn't love. but to no avail. kyungsoo also noticed he was distant, it pained him to see kyungsoo looking so hurt everytime he avoided one of his hugs.
⁃
the month of may ended with the weather slowly making way to the upcoming summer. the spring was at it's peak and chanyeol got a haircut, kyungsoo insisting his hair was too long and that soon it would bother him.
they were at their favorite spot in a nearby park, under a oak tree. a gentle breeze swept over the tops of the trees, the sound filling the comfortable silence.
they loved this spot, it was perfect to talk as they watched the sunset together, and now that chanyeol thought about it, on a scale of one to ten how romantic would you considerate that?
but today it seemed different as kyungsoo called him asking if they could meet because he had something to say and it was urgent. sensing something was off, chanyeol headed to the place one hour prior to the agreed time and as he watched the kids play around the vivid green grass filled with flowers, he thought.
he thought of what kyungsoo wanted to tell him, of how his behavior made things awkward between them, he missed kyungsoo. his unsettled feelings actually only made him sure of said feelings.
then he decided he was ready to confess to kyungsoo, otherwise he'd go crazy. but he was sure he'd struggle with the words, for god's sake he wasn't even sure of what to say. he then settled to trust the 'actions speak louder than words' thing.
"soo.." he softly called the younger who slowly turned to look at him. he then slowly closed the distance between them.
"y-yeol wh-what are" kyungsoo got abruptly interrupted as their lips touched, his eyes getting even bigger.
it was simple, just lips innocently touching lips and it only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to send chanyeol to cloud nine.
when they parted, kyungsoo's hand automatically went straight to his lips, a soft gasp leaving them. he then looked back at chanyeol; his head was turned up but his eyes were still closed and he was smiling. chanyeol looked beautiful and suddenly everything became too much for him.
"i like you a lot"
"i'm moving back to california", they said at the same time and chanyeol's smile left his face and he opened his eyes in shock, staring at the other boy who was blankly staring at his lap, his hand slowly leaving his lips.
"i'm sorry yeol. my parents decided to try again and my mom wants me to go back home". kyungsoo looked back at him only to regret it, the hurtful look in chanyeol's eyes made it hard for him to breath.
he felt terrible, he didn't knew what to do, chanyeol was giving him that lost puppy eyes and it was just too much.
"i'm sorry" he whispered before getting up and running out of the park. leaving chanyeol with a confused look and a slight heart break. kyungsoo was going to leave him. again.
the spring days went by and soon it was the night before kyungsoo's flight. they were both in chanyeol's room, ready to sleep, side by side.
they never talked about the kiss or about chanyeol's confession, the memories were enough for him to feel embarassed and he prayed that kyungsoo had forgotten about it. he knew he didn't but it was better for him to think he did than think his silence meant rejection. he was leaving anyways, it shouldn't really matter.
kyungsoo seemed to be thinking as he abruptly turned to his side to face him. he did the same and kyungsoo smiled. he was going to miss him so much.
"i want you to kiss me again, yeol" the younger broke the silence, staring intently at his eyes. chanyeol gulped, the request caught him off guard. he blinked a few times and kyungsoo giggled. he fucking giggled.
"i'm serious" he said, sitting indian style, both his hands on his lap. chanyeol followed suit and kneeled on the bed in front of him.
kyungsoo was looking up at him, he looked so beautiful. the only light iluminating the room was the one coming from the moon outside his window, and it made him glow. in chanyeol's eyes he looked like an angel.
chanyeol could feel himself shaking as he lifted a hand to touch kyungsoo's cheek, his thumb running along the curve of his cheekbone, it was so soft. soon he was cupping the younger’s face, their eyes still locked.
how could kyungsoo look so peaceful and giggle while chanyeol’s heart was threatening to come out of his mouth at any second?
"i'm confused", kyungsoowhispered, closing his eyes. chanyeol took a deep breath and closed the distance, their lips softly touching.
he kept their lips like this for a while before he decided to be daring. putting one of his hands on kyungsoo's nape, their lips slightly parted and soon they were sharing a intense kiss, their lips moving in sync. it tasted like peppermint and his lips were so soft chanyeol felt like crying.
kyungsoo broke the kiss and slowly pulled away, chanyeol's hand finding his in his lap, intertwining their fingers. their eyes met again and he shyly smiled at the older boy.
"we should sleep, yeol" kyungsoo said as he retrieved his hands to himself and chanyeol nodded, both of them lying on his bed again. when they were comfortable under the comforters, kyungsoo turned to his side, facing the bedside table.
"i'm so confused", kyungsoo said and chanyeol turned to his side to look at the boy's back.he could faintly see that he was slightly shaking, kyungsoo was crying.
"i'm- i'm gonna miss you so much, i'm so sorry, i'm really sorry" he sniffled and upon hearing this, chanyeol spooned the younger, "don't cry, soo" he whispered, holding him close to his chest until soft breathing replaced the small sobs, announcing his sleepiness taking over his body.
"i love you, soo" he whispered, placing a kiss at the younger's head. his heart ached but somehow felt more light.
⁃
when kyungsoo woke up, the sun wasn't even up. his flight was early in the morning and he needed to go home so his grandparent could drive him to the airport. chanyeol was still hugging him and he smiled, it was so funny how he fit so well in the older boy's embrace, but he didn't wanted to think about it too much.
carefully, he turned around and looked at chanyeol's sleeping face. he looked so peaceful, it would be a shame to disturb his sleep. he tenderly kissed his forehead, quickly pulling away as the boy moved a little. he sighed, taking off chanyeol's arm that was still at his waist before getting up, he knew he should properly say bye but only by thinking about chanyeol crying because of him made him want to cry too.
he then grabbed a pen and a paper and wrote a tiny note. he knew chanyeol was going to hate him for this but maybe he could understand too.
'i'm so sorry, yeol. i love you and i'll miss you'
⁃
outside, the sun was shining announcing spring's last day, the last cherry blossom petals falling together with chanyeol's heart pieces and tears. his mother had never seen him crying so much. he refused to tell why, as she hugged him close to her chest for the same reason for the second time, the image of the now not so small boy sobbing breaking her heart.
"this is so unfair, mom", chanyeol whispered. he tried to understand why kyungsoo said sorry so many times, and then it clicked. maybe kyungsoo was sorry because he couldn't reciprocate his feelings, maybe kyungsoo didn't liked him back and never thought of him the same way and that the kiss was just his way to prove himself.
he opted to erase this from his mind, forget that he confessed. kyungsoo was once again out of his reach, on the other side of the planet and he knew he was being pessimist but he was almost sure their friendship would vanish again.
⁃
on the first month, they kept in touch, but as the ache in his heart failed to subside, he did the only thing that seemed plausible, he ignored kyungsoo.
the emails increased, and he reluctantly read all of them, his fingers hovering over his keyboard, ready to type his replies but he always gave up on the end.
the last email he read was a short one, only containing a "I miss you, hyung". Kyungsoo never called him hyung, seeing his best friend treating him with so much formality hurt.
and the last three emails, he finally ignored. they were the last ones. kyungsoo had gave up on him.
⁃
sehun was in his second semester of freshman year and chanyeol's closest friend in university. a tall, lanky boy whose hair always changed according to his mood, he was also two years younger, his roommate and the reason why chanyeol met baekhyun, whom he drunkely kissed before whispering to the older that he was perfect for chanyeol.
baekhyun and chanyeol weren't in a relationship, but everyone on campus knew about them, they were too close to be just friends but too nonchalant about it to be boyfriends. chanyeol had feelings for baekhyun, but he wasn't ready for a relationship. at least now now, and baekhyun knew.
the first time he felt his heart skip a beat for baekhyun was also when they first had sex. they both had drank but weren't drunk, just tipsy enough to make things more heated. It wasn't the first time they made out furiously, but the first time they both crossed the invisible line they established when they first started whatever they had.
it was rushed, but baekhyun looked so vulnerable underneath him, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead as he panted and moaned chanyeol’s name, his nails leaving marks on his back while chanyeol left marks of his own on the petite boy’s neck, baekhyun was addicting. after they finished, the alcohol was already leaving their bodies, baekhyun was the first one to sleep, his head on chanyeol’s chest, his body falling and rising slowly, and he looked gorgeous.
chanyeol thought things would get awkward between them after that night, but as they became close, the one night stand they had turned into a casual fling and soon sehun was labelling them as friends with benefits. (the poor guy had to leave the apartment some nights, the moans were too loud for his taste).
it was during one of those nights that he changed his mind. their moans were loud and their bodies were working in perfect sync. they were drunk, both in alcohol and in each other, but chanyeol was sober enough to hear baekhyun faintly whisper i love you right on his ear.
He had talked with sehun about it on a rainy night, eating chips while lying down on the younger's bed, the soon to be programmer furiously re-typed codes on his keyboard, reciting them to his pet rubber duck (a gag gift from luhan, whose name was luhan too) barely blinking his eyes as he tried to figure out what was wrong, not paying any attention to what he was saying.
chanyeol thought he was becoming too attached to the duck, he carried it around to his classes because 'luhan helped him with wrong codes'. sehun was a lost case, he knew the younger wouldn't help anything but still, he was the only friend chanyeol had to talk about it, he was there since the very beginning, and sehun knew about chanyeol's thoughts about relationships, the older boy didn't hate the idea, but he wasn't interested either.
“people already think you guys are dating, you have nothing to lose, really” he said, after making chanyeol repeat everything he said.
“do you think classical music will stimulate my programming abilities?” chanyeol got up and slammed the door.
perhaps sehun was right, he had nothing to lose.
⁃
the weather was great, finally allowing everyone to wear comfortable clothes and letting go of the boring colored heavy coats. the new semester had just started and people were slowly coming back from the holidays they spent at home. chanyeol called his mother, informing her that he wouldn't be going home, he had his projects to finish and promised Sehun to stay with him, since the younger's parents were out of the country.
baekhyun stayed too, kept them company and brought them food whenever necessary, helping with house chores and even doing their grossery shopping since he was the one with most free time.
he’d curl up on chanyeol's bed to take naps, waiting for him to finish his projects so they could hang out or just talk. it never happened, though. but sleep surrounded by chanyeol's smell on his bed sheets always made up for it
⁃
"you're just too good for this world." the voice over the phone said excitedly as chanyeol walked inside his off campus apartment complex - it was close enough to allow him and sehun to never be late for their classes -.
he chuckled, of course baekhyun would be too happy when he mentioned lunch at his favorite restaurant near their university. he slowly climbed the stairs as baekhyun rambled about the special dessert they had for the month.
"it's just lunch, don't get too happy otherwise you won't get to eat dessert", he joked, as he balanced his phone between his ear and shoulder, opening the door and lazily walking towards his bedroom.
"you're no fun, yeol. what's the reason for lunch anyways? we won't have much time, i have afternoon classes today and i guess you have work? i told you, i finally have a roommate now, he moved in today and we still need to discuss a few things. he left to meet a friend or something". chanyeol could faintly hear footsteps on the other side of the line and the jingle of baekhyun's keychains, a door opening then closing, indicating that the older male was already leaving his dorm.
"just behave, baek. there's no reason, i just really need to talk to you so since you're free now and I'm too, lunch sounds good, right? i thought your rommate would move in next week, what happend?" he cautiously put his bag with his belognings on top of his desk, turning to fetch his other satchel, stuffing in his work clothes before zipping it.
"nothing happened, apparently he changed his flight and arrived early. i'm already out, so we can meet in thirty minutes, right? i just need to drop a few things in the studio for jongdae."
"sure, well meet in thirty. see you, baek"
"please don't get late like the last time, see you." the line got cut, he then put his phone on his back pocket and checked his hair one last time before going out.
chanyeol felt anxiety hitting him hard, mixed with confusion but decided to shake off the feelings. he was going to ask baekhyun to be his boyfriend, he was one hundred percent decided.
on his way to the restaurant, chanyeol ran into sehun in front of a cafe. the boy was across the street, his back was turned to him and it seemed like he was talking to a few friends.
as chanyeol crossed the street, he could see two boys with sehun, one the same height as him and a slightly small one. he couldn't see the smaller one face, sehun's shoulder blocking it. and perhaps it should have been better to never have crossed the street. he called sehun's name and the younger boy turned around.
he forgot how to breathe as his eyes met equally widened eyes.
"hyung! come meet my friends!" sehun eagerly grabbed chanyeol's arm, pulling him forward. chanyeol felt like he was dead weight, he could feel his long limbs shaking as Sehun pulled him until they were in front of a young couple.
"hyung, this is Jongin, we went to the same school in california since middle school" he pointed to the taller boy. he had strawberry pink hair and was dressed simply, skinny dark jeans and a white hoodie, two bags of grocery shopping in his hand.
“jongin, this is chanyeol, he’s s my housemate” he said.
"hi, i'm kim Jongin, nice to meet you" he said as he bowed, extending his free hand, chanyeol quickly bowing in heturn and accepting the offered hand, shaking it. he wasn't sure of how he was working but he wanted to run before sehun had the chance to open his mouth again, but it was too late.
"and this little one is k-"
"kyungsoo". chanyeol said, his eyes never leaving the smaller boy in front of him. he was all dressed in black, his hair was black too and he no longer had an undercut. his ear had now two piercings and his glasses where still round shaped. but he looked different, he was still short but his features looked mature now, and yet he looked like he never changed a bit. and he too, couldn't take his eyes off of chanyeol, disbelief was evident on his face, his eyes widened and his mouth slight open in awe.
"wait, you two know each other? but how?" sehun pointed back and forth between them, Jongin staring too much at chanyeol, specially at his left wrist, then back at kyungsoo, his sleepy eyes now showing interest.
"we were neighbors when we were kids" kyungsoo quickly said and chanyeol could feel eletrecity run through his veins, kyungsoo's voice had changed over the years and now it sounded rough but velvety, melodious still.
he couldn't miss the lack of explanation or the fact that he only said they were neighbors, the best friend part missing. he decided not to correct the younger one, let it be.
sehun kept looking between them since they were still staring at each other, kyungsoo now seemed a little bit angry, but it was soon replaced by shock when jongin threw an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close.
"so you were my little soo's neighbor, huh? that's surprising" he said as he pecked kyungsoo's check, who slowly pushed him away, "jongin, please" he said as the other tried to put his arm over him again.
sehun laughed. "you guys haven't changed, can't you just stop? it's two in the afternoon for god's sake"
" i- uh, i need to be somewhere now, I'm sorry, i'll see you later. bye jongin, it was nice to see you again, kyungsoo"
he could hear sehun saying ‘tell pixie I said hi’ when he crossed the street. as he made his way to the restaurant, his right hand clutched his left wrist.
⁃
when he entered the cozy restaurant, baekhyun was already waiting for him at a table.
he was dressed with a blue dress shirt and the ripped jeans he knew chanyeol loved, on his head a red snapback. he was wearing his glasses, the one he hated so much.
he was reading carefully the book that he had on his lap, his attention fully on it. he looked lovely and chanyeol couldn't deny it.
chanyeol slowly made his way to the table and unintentionally startled the older male as he tripped over a chair and dropped his satchel, baekhyun's loud laugh drawing even more attention to him. He was sure the obnoxious laugh could be heard even in the second floor of the restaurant.
he sat and after baekhyun's laugh transformed into low giggles. chanyeol chuckled as the older wiped a few tears that gattered on his eyes. he eyed the menu and called over an waiter who took note of their orders. baekhyun's giggles finally ceasing as he slowly raised a brow at him.
"did you just ordered for me, park?" he scoffed.
"you were too busy laughing at me to notice so yes, i ordered for you" chanyeol said, studying the floor to ceiling glass window on the other side of the restaurant. the sky was starting to get full of grey clouds, he only hoped they could both make it to their destinations before it started to rain.
chanyeol made a small pep talk with himself and thought it would be the best to say everything he had in his mind before regret started to hit him.
"listen, baek. there's a reason why i asked you to have lunch with me, it's kind of a big deal," he chuckled as baekhyun stared at him, his expression slowly turning into one of worry.
his stomach slowly making tiny flips inside of him, " you don't need to look so worried. so-" chanyeol got interrupted as baekhyun's phone started to ring, the lively ringtone making a few people turn their attention to their table. baekhyun excused himself as he stood up to take the call.
chanyeol sighed, his hand ruffling his hair, he was getting frustrated. baekhyun came back just in time for the waiter to bring their orders, he looked frustrated as well, but obviously for a totally different reason.
"is something wrong?" he asked as baekhyun fidgeted inside his bag, searching for something. the older boy stopped and sighed, putting his bag again behind his chair and paying attention to their meal. he started to eat the pasta chanyeol ordered and chanyeol followed suit, the whole discuss he had prepared on his mind now long forgotten.
"my rommate called. you remember the dorm head left the keys with me in case he arrived, right?" chanyeol nodded. "looks like i gave him the wrong key and he's now stuck outside the room. i was sure i gave him the right key. and now i can't find it, i probably left it inside the dorm" he took a bite of his food.
"we don't have to rush, though. he said he'd wait at his friend's place and that once i'm finished i can call him. guess i'll just skip my classes today" he shrugged, frowning, chanyeol wanted to kiss his frown away. He opened his mouth and closed, unsure of what to say.
"at least he's a cool guy, he was nice enough to wait, you know? If it was me i'd throw a fit and demand the keys right away, but it's just me so..." he laughed.
they finished their lunch in a pleasant silence, until chanyeol decided to talk again as they waited for dessert, baekhyun opting for the new strawberry cake, while chanyeol opted for a simple cup of tea.
"so, i know this is really sudden but i've been thinking a lot about it and-" once again he got interrupted but this time it was by baekhyun.
"sorry yeol but i forgot to tell you this. i've been thinking about this since morning, i was really excited to tel you this." he smilled. "it's silly, really, but my roommate is shorter than me. i thought i should tell this to you and sehun so you both could stop calling me pixie, give me a break."
the waiter brought his cake and he dove it right away, munching on it and making yummy noises. chanyeol chuckled.
"so as i was saying-"
"his name is kyungsoo, i think. he’s really adorable, you should meet him. are you okay? you look pale all of sudden. does the food gave you a stomach ache?" baekhyun looked worried again.
chanyeol took a deep breath. it was too much to digest in a few hours. not only had kyungsoo returned home, enrolled at the same university as his, was high school friends with sehun and now he was going to be baekhyun's roommate?
he smiled at baekhyun to calm him down, "i’m okay, don't worry," he lied. his mind was probably beeping with error written on his forehead but he had to take it cool. he sipped his tea and sighed.
"so what was it you were saying? i'm sorry i kept interrupting you, i’m all ears now, i swear" baekhyun said as he grabbed his hand on top of the table. chanyeol then gave him a small smile, he now wasn't so sure of what to say anymore. maybe it could wait for a better ocasion? one he doesn't look like he's about to pass out any minute.
“it's nothing, really. i just wanted to invite you to the movies tomorrow? or maybe i just wanted a excuse to take you out". he squeezed his hand back and baekhyun's eyes lit up at the mention of going out, he smilled at him and his heart squeezed just like his grip on baekhyun's hand. “sorry you thought it would be something huge, Im terrible.” he sighed.
"sounds good, there's this movie I really want to see".
⁃
after bidding goodbye to baekhyun, who tiptoed to give him a small peck on his cheek, chanyeol ran to the small bakery he worked at. it was really small, but the payment was nice and his shifts were flexible because of his classes and it helped with rent so he was good.
the afternoon shift were his favorites, it always passed fast and he barely had to stay to close the shop, his boss was nice enough to tell him not to worry about closing time, and in no time he was home again, now facing a really curious sehun.
"how do you know kyungsoo? he didn't say a word and you know i'm curious as fuck" He folded his arms, they were booth at their living room playing mario kart, the match had just ended, chanyeol threw his joystick at the coffee table and groaned. he knew he couldn't keep this from sehun for too long but he would delay it as much as possible.
"he already told you, we were neighbors when we were kids. that's it." he looked at sehun who just snorted, that brat.
"tell me why i should believe you, that encounter was really awkward, you know? it looked like you both had seen a ghost." he snorted again, pulling back his now dyed grey hair, the strands falling back against his forehead.
“yeol?”
“what?”
“your wrirst”, sehun smirked.
chanyeol sighed. It was going to be a long night.
⁃
It took one month for him to see kyungsoo again. it was strange, with him living with baekhyun and all, chanyeol was sure he’d bump into him more than he intended.
the classes had started with full force and he already found himself with three new assignments due to the next month, he once again became lifeless, not only him but it looked like everyone.
he had told everything to sehun, begging him to keep everything to himself and once in his life, it looked like he was keeping his promise. ("and now he's pixie's new roommate? holy shit!" was what he said, great support)
it was funny, really, with how even with kyungsoo being baekhyun's new roommate, it took one month for him to have a glimpse of him, on campus as he entered the music building. he took note to ask sehun what he was majoring.
⁃
jongin was always around his apartment with sehun, the mathematics student almost turning into a furniture. chanyeol swears everytime he gets home, jongin is there.
he wondered how could a person who was majoring in mathematics could have so much free time to play video games. he also wondered how much free time sehun had, he was sure he had as much assignments as himself.
they became friends anyways.
he finally found out that no, kyungsoo and Jongin weren't dating like he thought they were, but that Jongin had a huge soft spot for him, and used to have a crush on him, but kyungsoo rejected him. ("been there, done that, right?" sehun joked later when jongin left their apartment, he wanted to punch him.)
it looked like jongin, sehun and kyungsoo formed some sort of trio during high school. when he left for america, kyungsoo had to start everything again since freshman year, so he was paired with the childhood friends duo.
sehun left for korea with his parents one year before high school graduation, leaving both of them behind with promises of going to the same university.
jongin was a nice guy, but they were still awkward around each other, jongin always seemed to be alert of everything chanyeol did, as if he knew something he didn't. It bothered him at first, but now jongin was around enough for him not to be anymore.
they got closer enough for him to learn that jongin loved to text a lot and watch videos, especially of a japanese girl who is a competitive eater and posted her challenge videos online. - "it's like muk bang, hyung. but she's japanese and her videos are on youtube, you don't have to pay for it" - He said before sending at least five different videos to him. baekhyun used to make muk bang, he should tell him this.
⁃
two weeks later chanyeol found himself tired than the usual. he had stayed until closing time for the first time so he could take the day off the next day. he had finished his assignments the night prior and everything the poor guy wanted was to finally have a good night of sleep.
he could finally stop ignoring baekhyun's texts.
he was ready to open the door and flee to the bathroom, take a long shower and crash in his bed but he wasn't prepared for this.
as usual, jongin was there with sehun, but tonight kyungsoo was also there.
the room was filled with loud laughs coming from the gaming duo, kyungsoo was intently staring at his phone as if the other two were invisible.
chanyeol threw his keys on the bowl at the counter and took of his shoes, going inside the vivid living room.
"if i were you i wouldn't sit here, pixie is in your room" he was about to sit when sehun said it, his eyes glued on the screen as jongin's character k.o-ed his.
sehun threw his arms up in frustration, jongin's hearty laugh echoing in the room after as he sat on the couch with kyungsoo, whose eyes were fixed in chanyeol, quickly averting when chanyeol looked at him. the move didn't went unnoticed by jongin, who flashed a knowing smile at chanyeol.
"soo, you hungry? wanna go home?" jongin asked, hugging the older boy, who only shook his head. chanyeol was still staring at them, sehun clapped his hand to get his attention.
"yeol, pixie". he said, pointing towards chanyeol's bedroom.
"right," chanyeol ruffled his hair and went to said room. what was going on with jongin?
⁃
baekhyun was lying down on his bed, headphones on as he typed on his phone. he quickly got up upon chanyeol's arrival, a blinding smile plastered on his face.
"you're home!" chanyeol sat on the bed alongside the other boy, who promptly hugged him. "how was work today?" he sweetly asked.
"it was fine, i think. at least i'll have the day off tomorrow, i really want to sleep" he petted baekhyun's fluffy brown locks making the boy almost purr.
"oh. should i leave then? i don't want to interrupt if you're tired" chanyeol shook his head and got up to fetch his satchel, taking out a music sheet. even though he was majoring in economics, composing songs was his most loved hobby, he was talented.
"i have this for you, for the autumn concert" he gave baekhyun the sheet and got up, siting at his desk so he could use his keyboard.
baekhyun sat at the end of the bed and gave him the sheet back. soon, a calm melody filled the bedroom, chanyeol's skilled fingers working perfectly on the keys, baekhyun humming softly alongside the melody.
"it still needs lyrics, i thought we could work on it together" chanyeol said as he finished playing, receiving a little one-man standing ovation.
"it's perfect, yeol. you shouldn't have. really. you had so many assignments to do and still had time to do this to me. it's perfect, i loved. you're perfect" he pecked chanyeol's lips before sitting down again, studying the sheet with the brightest of the smiles on his face. chanyeol chuckled.
"i know the concert is important for you, so i thought i could help? i made it during the free time i had, don't worry. stay the night, we might come out with the lyrics if you want" chanyeol suggested getting up and walking to his closet, picking clean clothes
"sure, why not?" chanyeol smiled and made his way to the bathroom and baekhyun quickly changed to more comfortable clothes. he took the sheet and studied it again, his heart was filled with joy, chanyeol surely was too good for this world, he felt blessed.
a soft knock distracted him of his thoughts and baekhyun looked up to see the door slowly opening, enough for sehun to pop his head inside the room.
"uh, we're going out to eat and maybe hit at few songs in the noreabang but seeing that you're already wearing your pajamas, you're going to sleep already?" he cocked his head to the side.
"oh, no, we're working on this" he showed sehun the music sheet in his hand.
"it's for the concert?" sehun asked, he nodded. the younger gave him thumbs up before wishing him a good night and closing the door.
he sighed and lied down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
chanyeol came out of the bathroom with steam coming behind him, already dressed in his pajamas, drying his hair with a towel.
"you okay?" he sat himself on the bed, his hair still wet making little droplets of water fall on the mattress.
"yeol," baekhyun got up and grabbed his wrist, caressing it. "is he him?" he softly asked, playing his bracelet.
"who?"
"kyungsoo. is he the one you told me about?" yeol averted his gaze from the hand on his wrist and looked up to see baekhyun staring at him.
"h-how did you found out? sehun told you something?" he panicked, getting up to go break the shit out of sehun's face.
baekhyun chuckled, making him sit back on the bed. "no, sehun didn't said anything, but i guess i should ask him?" he scoffed.
"you know even more than sehun, don't bother" chanyeol grabbed his bag, picking a pencil and a notebook.
"the bracelet”.
chanyeol looked at his left wrist, a single bracelet was on it. it was simple, a yellow silicon band.
"yes, it's him".
they bought the bracelet together on kyungsoo’s sixteenth birthday, chanyeol insisted it would be nice to have something to symbolize their friendship whilst kyungsoo thought it was too girly. they bought it anyways, promising to keep it forever.
as silly as it was, chanyeol kept his promise but he never thought kyungsoo would too.
"is he... wearing it too?" he cleaned his throat, baekhyun sighed loudly.
"yes, that's how i figured out, not everyone has an ugly yellow band on their wrist" baekhyun crawled to the end of the bed and sat with his back resting on the headboard
"how do you feel?"
"about what?"
"forget it".
⁃
they worked on the lyrics, not really coming with what they really wanted, chanyeol was frustrated and baekhyun was oddly quiet.
"are you okay?" chanyeol whispered, startling the older boy
baekhyun lied down on the bed again, patting the empty spot beside him. chanyeol put the notebook and the pencil on his chair and lied beside him. the older boy promptly put his head on chanyeol's chest, his hand resting on his stomach.
he gently stroked baekhyun's honey brown tuffs, feeling the boy relaxing on his embrace.
"instead of writing the lyrics, can we just stay like this and sleep? you're tired" baekhyun looked up and smiled at him. chanyeol nodded and got up to turn off the lights, coming back to bed and embracing baekhyun again, his hand atop of baekhyun's hand on his chest.
"thank you again, yeol" baekhyun kissed his hand and closed his eyes.
⁃
on the next sunday, he spotted kyungsoo at the small bakery.
the movement of people was weak and only a few tables were occupied. kyungsoo was at the far corner of the bakery, a small cheesecake in front of him. he was happily munching..
chanyeol slowly made his way to the boy, sitting on the chair in front of him, startling the boy.
"is it good?" he asked, smiling.
kyungsoo coughed so hard he had to take a sip of his tea, his face slowly gaining it's normal color as chanyeol stared at him worried, it wasn't his intention to startle him.
"what?" he coldly said, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
"the cheesecake, i asked if it's good" chanyeol pointed at the remaining piece of food on the other's plate.
"oh. yes, it is good" kyungsoo said, now avoiding looking at chanyeol's direction.
"i made it myself" chanyeol's smile grew bigger as kyungsoo looked at him with his eyes almost the size of golf balls.
"it's impossible, it's good, incredibly good, taste like it was made in heaven. you don't know how to cook" he said, scoffing, crossing his arms on his chest.
"i know, right? i work here helping at the kitchen, i've learnt how to cook and since you said it's incredibly good, i'll take it as i'm making a good job then"
"you used to hate cooking, what happened?"
"i guess i've missed your cookies, i started with them, then sweets took my interest and i started experimenting" kyungsoo snorted at the mention of the cookies, remembering how chanyeol would eat five times in a row because he loved them.
"i bet your cookies aren't that nice"
"they're the most famous here", chanyeol deadpanned.
"i don't believe you" kyungsoo retorted.
"they aren't great as yours but they have fans, okay?" kyungsoo presented him with a smile and he felt something on his stomach akin to uneasiness.
"kyungsoo?" chanyeol asked, receiving a questioning look from the younger boy.
"why have you been ignoring me?"
"shouldn’t i ask you this? did you really thought i'd jump on you first thing after what you did?" kyungsoo questioned, his face was serious and the atmosphere became stiff.
"after.. what i did?"
"we had no reason to stop talking after i left, yet you ignored me. i had a hard time accepting the fact you were fine without me"
"i..."
"i got tired, and when you didn't replied to my last email i knew it was the end". kyungsoo smiled sadly, fidgeting with the rest of his forgotten cheesecake, he wasn't hungry anymore.
"i'm sorry", chanyeol whispered.
"you should go back to work, we can talk later, text me when you finish your shift" kyungsoo said as he picked a pen, scribbling down his number on a napkin, giving it to chanyeol and exiting the bakery.
when his shift ended chanyeol texted kyungsoo and found himself in a cozy restaurant with the later.
kyungsoo seemed calm and they actually enjoyed the dinner, the talk was pleasant and soon they were both sharing smiles and laughs. the conversation lasted for hours, the tension of their talk early long forgotten. chanyeol was finally at ease.
minutes after he arrived at his apartment, he received a text from kyungsoo.
'thank you for dinner, it was nice catching up again.'
he smiled as re replied, catching sehun and jongin's attention when his phone beeped again.
"is it pixie?" sehun asked, his eyes glued at his laptop as he typed codes, the rubber duck was right at the coffee table.
"no, it's not" he said, sitting at the couch alongside jongin. sehun looked at him and quirked an eyebrow.
"then why are you smiling so much?"
"none of your business, nerd" he retorted, jongin looked up from his phone and snorted.
sehun teased him, saying his smile was so big it could rip his face. he threw a pillow at the boy and left for his room.
one text led to another and they spent the whole night texting each other. chanyeol slept with a smile on his lips
⁃
have kyungsoo back at his life was easier than he thought it would be
kyungsoo was always at the bakery and had become one of his most diligent clients, he was his tester for new recipes and sometimes would even help at the kitchen when his boss weren't around.
texts and phone calls became a usual thing and they met on campus too, having lunch together whenever possible. kyungsoo was majoring in music therapy and shared a few classes with baekhyun, and it looked like they had became friends.
the contrast of their personalities was noticeable and funny. baekhyun was lively, liked to laugh loud and was the type to talk more than he should whilst kyungsoo was more shy, giggled to himself and was the type to pay attention more than actually talking.
baekhyun seemed to get a liking to kyungsoo, and chanyeol felt his heart tight whenever he saw them sharing smiles
⁃
he felt divided.
“for a logic statement this doesn't seem very logical.” sehun said.
chanyeol was lying on sehun's bed, his arm covering his eyes.
"stop the whole developer talk, sehun. this is serious" chanyeol told sehun everything about his texts with kyungsoo and their "bakery dates".
“i should put this project on hold and deal with it later, looks like we have more problems here", sehun said, closing his laptop.
"i think you should decide", he breathed. "jongin has been interested in pixie ever since the first time he saw him. i told him to forget about it since you were going to ask baekhyun to be your boyfriend, but since you made no move.."
chanyeol groaned.
“hyung, stop being so selfish, pixie needs a chance to be loved. he’s waiting for you to say something” he got up and sat at the bed, rubber duck in hand.
“here, you can talk to luhan, he might help”
chanyeol groaned again, but accepted the duck.
⁃
chanyeol had a headache. the only thing he wanted was to lock himself in his room and sleep at least for four months. the headache became worse when he walked in the living room.
"sehun. what is this?" he pointed to the white kitty sehun had running between his legs as he cooed at it.
"hey! "this", he made parentheses with his hand, "is luhan, okay?" he picked up the kitty, scratching behind its ear "it's so cute, right?" he shoved the kitty on chanyeol's face as if he couldn't see it.
chanyeol sneezed.
"you mean it's luhan's, right?" he asked, covering his nose and mouth with his hands.
"no, it's luhan. the name, i named it luhan and we're keeping it"
"you can't decide it alone, sehun i-" he sneezed, the kitty meowed and sehun girly squealed, sitting with the kitty on his lap, happily scratching behind its ear.
chanyeol was tired. he didn't want to argue with sehun.
"sehun, we can't keep it." a sneeze.
"why not? i'll take care of it" he looked up at chanyeol, pouting.
"sehun, i'm allergic. we can't keep it. please find it a home". he walked away and slammed the door, startling sehun and the poor kitty.
falling face first on his bed, he yelled on his pillow. he was frustated, the headache was too much and the last thing he wanted to deal was with sehun's whims. he slowly turned around and faced the ceiling, sighing loudly.
half an hour later a soft knock was heard and the door slowly opened. "someone is grumpy today", sehun stated, lying on the bed.
"i left luhan at luhan hyung's place. he's keeping the cat", he tsked, "he's going to change the name, though".
Sehun turned his head and watched as chanyeol sat, holding his face between his hands.
"i kissed kyungsoo", he said, running his hands through his hair.
"woah, congrats?" sehun sat, staring at chanyeol, who seemed to want to rip out his own hair. "why are you like this? you kissed the golden boy. i expected another type of reaction?"
"most of the sex i've had in my life weren't as personal as that kiss, sehun" he groaned again, "but baekhyun saw us"
sehun gaped.
"we were at the bakery's kitchen and i totally forgot i had asked him to have dinner with me. we were washing the dishes and he had something on his cheek, i leaned in to wipe it and one thing led to another. i've never saw baekhyun ran so fast my entire life"
"maybe now is a good time for testing the theory of ballmer’s peak. let's go to a bar, hyung" sehun patted his back as he got up, holding his wrist and pulling chanyeol across the apartment, grabbing his keys and locking the door.
►
Title: Not love, spring or cherry blossoms
Pairing(s): Chanyeol/D.O, Chanyeol/Baekhyun (mentions of Baekhyun/Kai)
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): Totally unbetaed, lapslock, movie quotes, internet quotes, mentions of sex, sehun’s rubber duck.
Length: 12.5k
Summary: Kyungsoo was chanyeol's first love. spring and debugs are involved somehow.
Author's note: dear recipient, i'm so sorry i turned your simply prompt into this huge, nonsensical monster, i hope you enjoy it anyways. and i'm so sorry this is really bad. huge thanks to the most adorable mod who had so much patience with me, i love you. and thank you. shout out to m, who held my hand throughout the hard time i had while writing.
chanyeol still remembers the day he first met kyungsoo. he was seven and new in the neighborhood. it was in the middle of spring and his firlst day at the new school and he felt nervous. his mother said it was natural to be nervous and that he shouldn't worry, as he let go of her hand and ran to his new classroom. she was sure her little sunshine would make tons of new friends.
the teacher quickly introduced him to the rest of the class and pointed at a seat in the middle, he'd be sharing his table with another boy, a tiny one with huge eyes and black hair that was cut into a bow shape.
soon after he sat, he felt a tiny hand touching his shoulder, when he turned around to look at the other boy, he was met with chubby cheeks pulled into a huge smile.
"hi, my name is kyungsoo! let's be friends"
chanyeol liked spring.
⁃
he remembers the first time he almost got into his first fight.
chanyeol was coming out of the classroom for lunch break when a boy cornered kyungsoo, whose eyes promptly filled with tears. it was the first time chanyeol felt really angry as he threw his rilakkuma lunchbox on the floor and ran to where his friend was.
he threw his arms over kyungsoo and kicked the boy, who fell on the floor. he turned to kyungsoo and hugged him as the boy got up and ran away. chanyeol then started to panic as the boy in front of him started to cry for real.
"soo! did i made something wrong? are you hurt?" he wanted to cry too. instead he took kyungsoo by the hand and went back to their classroom to talk with their teacher.
later as kyungsoo's tears came to a halt, he explained between tiny sobs that the other boy said he was small and that's the reason why he cried. kyungsoo hated to be small, he wanted to be tall just like chanyeol was.
⁃
chanyeol then decided that since he was the taller one between the two of them, that it was entirely his duty to take care of kyungsoo and never let anyone upset him. also that he'd always make sure to make the small boy drink milk everyday so he could grow up and be as taller as him.
that day, kyungsoo shared half of his lunch box with chanyeol and shyly gave him a kiss on the cheek as a form of gratitude.
they were two weeks into spring when, with his cheeks and tip of ears red, chanyeol said spring was his favorite season and kyungsoo said they weren't best friends but "best best friends".
they became even more inseparable.
⁃
chanyeol loved kyungsoo's voice, and the younger boy loved to sing.
he was eleven when kyungsoo finally won his first trophy at the anual spring competition, his mother crying hugging him and chanyeol tearing up at the scene.
kyungsoo had looked so little alone onstage, it was endearing. the judges fell in love with his voice and he was showered with praises, making everyone happy.
on the way back home, kyungsoo proudly stared at the trophy on his hand.
"i'm really proud of you, soo" chanyeol said, earning a shy smile from the other boy, his eyes turning into crescents, it was the same smile he gave chanyeol when they first met.
for some reason, chanyeol blushed.
⁃
he remembers when kyungsoo moved away. he was twelve.
"when are you leaving?" chanyeol asked, looking at the ground, still perplexed.
"in five days? maybe six, we're not sure. my dad just told us his boss needed him abroad as soon as possible". he sighed, fixing his glasses on his nose.
"that's... too soon?" he didn't wanted it to sound rude but it was indeed too soon and he didn't had anything better too say.
"yeah, it is. my mom said he could go first and we'd go next month, but he said no... seungsoo is having a hard time too, will have to break up with his girlfriend and all."
chanyeol looked up to see a sad frown decorating kyungsoo's face. he felt sad but it was inevitable. kyungsoo too, wanted all of this to be a joke. he didn't knew what to do at that point and looking at chanyeol's sad face only made him feel worse, he really wanted to stay.
he then went back home, promising chanyeol that he would finish packing during the night so they could spend the rest of his remaining days together.
chanyeol only understood the news when the door was closed, his best friend was going to leave him.
the days passed by quickly as promises were exchanged alongside with gifts, hugs were given and pictures were taken and soon chanyeol found himself crying in his mother embrace after coming back from the airport.
"i should have asked him to stay, m-mom. he's s-so small, i need to protect him!" he said between sobs, his cheeks were tear stained and it pained his mom to see her sunshine so clouded.
she hugged him closer to her chest, "you can still contact him, sweetie. i know he will be far but he's still your friend, there's no distance when it comes to friends" she said, smiling.
kyungsoo left on the fourth day of spring, the season had just barely started. chanyeol decided it was no longer his favorite season.
"nothing will change, trust me" his mother said as she kissed chanyeol's forehead, turning off the lights before leaving his room.
"nothing will change", he repeated, trying to reassure himself.
that night he dreamt of a boy running away and as he tried to reach for him, he kept going away even further.
⁃
things changed.
they tried to keep contact, succeeding on the first month but as timezone, school, personal schedules and expensive phone bills got on the way, it didn't lasted any longer and sadly but naturally, they drifted apart.
but as time passed, ever since kyungsoo left, chanyeol noticed that he would always think about him one time or another. he wondered if kyungsoo was eating well, how was life going on his new house, maybe he has a new best friend? it's completely normal to think about someone you miss with frequency, right?
but he couldn't understand why every time those thoughts occured, his heart would beat faster and he'd always have the urgency to smile. when he slept, he'd dream of holding kyungsoo's hand and kissing his cheeks.
he was confused, because all of his fourteen years old friends talked about their dreams about curvy girls with long hairs and sparkly eyes, whilst chanyeol dreamt of a small boy with heart shaped lips and huge eyes, of how his smile would make his eyes turn into crescents and how his voice was the sweetest he ever heard.
perhaps while the cherry blossoms were blooming outside, something inside his heart was too.
⁃
chanyeol had just turned sixteen when he opened the front door to come face to face with kyungsoo.
the boy was different, he had grown up since the last time he saw him, but was still smaller, their height difference was still big since chanyeol himself had grown quite a lot.
his hair was now dyed red and had an undercut, on his right ear he had a piercing, his glasses were still the round type, perched perfectly on his nose. he looked like the epitome of a rebel teenager, but his still slightly chubby cheeks and the soft look on his face could tell it was a lie.
he looked perfect, breathtaking even. chanyeol thought to himself.
"chanyeol", kyungsoo said, he seemed relieved and chanyeol was petrified. his eyes widened enough to compete with the other teen.
"i'm so," he paused, smiling at chanyeol. "i'm so glad you still live here. i mean, it has been a while and i was afraid you moved" he muffled a laugh with his hand, staring intently at chanyeol's widened eyes. he's so cute.
"but i see you still live here, i'm really glad". he shyly smiled but then started to panic as chanyeol was yet to say something or at least give him some reaction.
"chanyeol? are you okay?" he waved his hand in front of the taller boy who finally seemed to be back on earth.
"k-kyungsoo.." chanyeol felt like punching himself, why the hell was he stuttering for?
"yes?" kyungsoo smiled.
"wow. i- i mean, hi" he nervously laughed and gave kyungsoo some space, allowing him inside his house, softly closing the door after
"when did you get back? i mean, i'm surprised to see you, really'. they were now sat at chanyeol's couch, a good distance between them, the air was still awkward.
chanyeol's mind was still going into overdrive, he'd wished, wanted to see kyungsoo so much and now he was in front of him again
"i just got back today, like two hours ago. i really wanted to see you first thing". he gave chanyeol a half smile and closed his eyes, sighing.
"i've missed you", he then said, and somehow it was getting hard for chanyeol to breathe again, why was his heart suddenly beating so fast?
"listen, i-"
"i've mi-"
"you go first". kyungsoo said and they both chuckled, the air finally letting them at ease.
chanyeol's mother soon returned from work and hugged kyungsoo so tight the boy turned red from the lack of breath. she said kyungsoo looked perfect and chanyeol without thinking said stunning was more appropriate, making both him and kyungsoo blush at his choice of words.
his mother chuckled and ushered them to chanyeol's bedroom, telling them she would soon call them back once dinner was ready.
"your room is still the same, are you still twelve? nothing changed except for the anime posters", kyungsoo said, his back turned to chanyeol who was still waiting at the door, admiring the way the small boy looked and touched the pictures chanyeol had of both of them on his desk.
he sat at his bed while kyungsoo sat on his desk chair, fidgeting with his fingers. he looked nervous, chanyeol noticed. remembering how he'd always play with his fingers when he wasn't sure of what to say.
after two minutes of silence, kyungsoo finally spoke.
"the reason i got back is because my parents are getting a divorce", he sighed. "it's not really decided but i think they are going to get it soon. mom asked me to stay here with my grandparents until she finds out what she's going to do"
"seungsoo is at his university's dorm so i had to came alone."
chanyeol's eyes widened, he would never imagine kyungsoo's parents to get a divorce, they always looked so in love, so different of his own parents who got a divorce when he was nine.
"what? man, i'm so sorry" he said, he knew exactly what it was like but still he didn't knew what to say.
"you don't have to be, really. i thought everything was okay, but i guess i should have noticed with the amount of fights that it was bound to happen one way or another”. he finished and looked at chanyeol, smiling. he knew once again that chanyeol wouldn't really have something to say, the look he was giving him was the same one he gave when he said he was going to move out of the country.
"you don't have to say anything, you know? don't give me this look too" he clucked and walked to his friend's bed, sitting at his side before patting his now honey brown hair.
"why do you have a ponytail?" he asked and chanyeol smiled.
"come on, we still have a lot to catch up. we'll have time, right?"
⁃
after hours of talking and a delicious dinner, kyungsoo got up to go home, remembering how he told his grandmother he'd be home soon and that she was probably worried about him. hugging his friend's mom one last time with promises of coming back, kyungsoo walked to the front door together with chanyeol, who hugged him.
"i've missed you too" he said as his hand patted kyungsoo's hair, it was really soft and faintly smelled of strawberries. kyungsoo looked up at him and smiled, returning the hug. his smile was heartbreakingly beautiful. chanyeol wished he could take control of his heart rate, it was thumping so loud he was sure it got a little bit more louder, kyungsoo would hear it.
"it's good to have you back" he said as kyungsoo went down the small staircase, nodding his head and giving him a smile again, slowly turning his back and walking away. chanyeol then closed the door and sighed.
that night, chanyeol had a hard time trying to sleep, but once sleep came, again dreamt of kyungsoo. but instead of holding his hand and kissing his cheek, he hugged him close and kissed his lips.
⁃
together with the rediscover of their friendship, winter came.
kyungsoo enrolled at his school to finish the school year and it brightened chanyeol's mood to the fullest.
they were spending so much time together and it was making chanyeol more and more confused. girls never grabbed his attention, he always thought his classmates were really pretty but he never wanted to kiss them, run his hand through their hairs or even want to put his hand on their boobs like his classmates always bragged about doing.
he always wanted of a short boy, wonderful eyes and heartbreaking smile, soft hands and beautiful lips.
chanyeol wasn't sure but everytime kyungsoo smiled at him or got close, his heart would tight so much in his ribcage he'd think it was really breaking. he'd feel breathless and he just wanted to know why.
⁃
spring soon came, warming the streets and releasing them of the cold winter they endured, flowers blossoming and blooming with colors everywhere and soon the new school year would start.
kyungsoo's mother had called him in early january with the good news of her return in the middle of the year, she still had a few things to settle before coming back so she postponed it to mid july. the news made both boys jump in pure joy.
as the new school year began, chanyeol became more aware of his surroundings, how girls and even boys would corner kyungsoo too much. he wasn't sure of why suddenly he became too possessive of the boy as if those people would take kyungsoo away from him again. he was feeling so jealous of people trying to befriend the other it was starting to affect him. he saw these people as threats for their friendship.
but at the same time he would laugh at himself because he knew kyungsoo wasn't stupid enough to stop talking to him because of other people so "why are you being so jealous, chanyeol?", that was what kyungsoo would say everytime he glared at someone who talked to kyungsoo.
that's when realization came and he finally understood what was happening with himself. that the urge to hold kyungsoo, kiss him and hold his hand wasn't because their friendship was strong, he was in love with him.
he was scared of it.
maybe love was a strong word, but the more he thought the more it looked like. friends weren't supposed to want to kiss their best friends on the lips, right? and he was sure as hell friends don't get nervous or blush when they hug each other too.
he became quiet after it. he still wasn't sure if he was gay, but google told him he might be.
it wasn't easy, to bear the fact that you could potentially be in love with your best friend and still act like nothing was going on. he tried to touch kyungsoo less, hug him less, look at him less, glare less at people who tried to aproach the boy. he couldn't do this, kyungsoo wasn't his property, and would never like him back so why bother? he even though kyungsoo would feel disgusted if he knew about his feelings.
everyday he tried to tell himself it wasn't love. but to no avail. kyungsoo also noticed he was distant, it pained him to see kyungsoo looking so hurt everytime he avoided one of his hugs.
⁃
the month of may ended with the weather slowly making way to the upcoming summer. the spring was at it's peak and chanyeol got a haircut, kyungsoo insisting his hair was too long and that soon it would bother him.
they were at their favorite spot in a nearby park, under a oak tree. a gentle breeze swept over the tops of the trees, the sound filling the comfortable silence.
they loved this spot, it was perfect to talk as they watched the sunset together, and now that chanyeol thought about it, on a scale of one to ten how romantic would you considerate that?
but today it seemed different as kyungsoo called him asking if they could meet because he had something to say and it was urgent. sensing something was off, chanyeol headed to the place one hour prior to the agreed time and as he watched the kids play around the vivid green grass filled with flowers, he thought.
he thought of what kyungsoo wanted to tell him, of how his behavior made things awkward between them, he missed kyungsoo. his unsettled feelings actually only made him sure of said feelings.
then he decided he was ready to confess to kyungsoo, otherwise he'd go crazy. but he was sure he'd struggle with the words, for god's sake he wasn't even sure of what to say. he then settled to trust the 'actions speak louder than words' thing.
"soo.." he softly called the younger who slowly turned to look at him. he then slowly closed the distance between them.
"y-yeol wh-what are" kyungsoo got abruptly interrupted as their lips touched, his eyes getting even bigger.
it was simple, just lips innocently touching lips and it only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to send chanyeol to cloud nine.
when they parted, kyungsoo's hand automatically went straight to his lips, a soft gasp leaving them. he then looked back at chanyeol; his head was turned up but his eyes were still closed and he was smiling. chanyeol looked beautiful and suddenly everything became too much for him.
"i like you a lot"
"i'm moving back to california", they said at the same time and chanyeol's smile left his face and he opened his eyes in shock, staring at the other boy who was blankly staring at his lap, his hand slowly leaving his lips.
"i'm sorry yeol. my parents decided to try again and my mom wants me to go back home". kyungsoo looked back at him only to regret it, the hurtful look in chanyeol's eyes made it hard for him to breath.
he felt terrible, he didn't knew what to do, chanyeol was giving him that lost puppy eyes and it was just too much.
"i'm sorry" he whispered before getting up and running out of the park. leaving chanyeol with a confused look and a slight heart break. kyungsoo was going to leave him. again.
the spring days went by and soon it was the night before kyungsoo's flight. they were both in chanyeol's room, ready to sleep, side by side.
they never talked about the kiss or about chanyeol's confession, the memories were enough for him to feel embarassed and he prayed that kyungsoo had forgotten about it. he knew he didn't but it was better for him to think he did than think his silence meant rejection. he was leaving anyways, it shouldn't really matter.
kyungsoo seemed to be thinking as he abruptly turned to his side to face him. he did the same and kyungsoo smiled. he was going to miss him so much.
"i want you to kiss me again, yeol" the younger broke the silence, staring intently at his eyes. chanyeol gulped, the request caught him off guard. he blinked a few times and kyungsoo giggled. he fucking giggled.
"i'm serious" he said, sitting indian style, both his hands on his lap. chanyeol followed suit and kneeled on the bed in front of him.
kyungsoo was looking up at him, he looked so beautiful. the only light iluminating the room was the one coming from the moon outside his window, and it made him glow. in chanyeol's eyes he looked like an angel.
chanyeol could feel himself shaking as he lifted a hand to touch kyungsoo's cheek, his thumb running along the curve of his cheekbone, it was so soft. soon he was cupping the younger’s face, their eyes still locked.
how could kyungsoo look so peaceful and giggle while chanyeol’s heart was threatening to come out of his mouth at any second?
"i'm confused", kyungsoowhispered, closing his eyes. chanyeol took a deep breath and closed the distance, their lips softly touching.
he kept their lips like this for a while before he decided to be daring. putting one of his hands on kyungsoo's nape, their lips slightly parted and soon they were sharing a intense kiss, their lips moving in sync. it tasted like peppermint and his lips were so soft chanyeol felt like crying.
kyungsoo broke the kiss and slowly pulled away, chanyeol's hand finding his in his lap, intertwining their fingers. their eyes met again and he shyly smiled at the older boy.
"we should sleep, yeol" kyungsoo said as he retrieved his hands to himself and chanyeol nodded, both of them lying on his bed again. when they were comfortable under the comforters, kyungsoo turned to his side, facing the bedside table.
"i'm so confused", kyungsoo said and chanyeol turned to his side to look at the boy's back.he could faintly see that he was slightly shaking, kyungsoo was crying.
"i'm- i'm gonna miss you so much, i'm so sorry, i'm really sorry" he sniffled and upon hearing this, chanyeol spooned the younger, "don't cry, soo" he whispered, holding him close to his chest until soft breathing replaced the small sobs, announcing his sleepiness taking over his body.
"i love you, soo" he whispered, placing a kiss at the younger's head. his heart ached but somehow felt more light.
⁃
when kyungsoo woke up, the sun wasn't even up. his flight was early in the morning and he needed to go home so his grandparent could drive him to the airport. chanyeol was still hugging him and he smiled, it was so funny how he fit so well in the older boy's embrace, but he didn't wanted to think about it too much.
carefully, he turned around and looked at chanyeol's sleeping face. he looked so peaceful, it would be a shame to disturb his sleep. he tenderly kissed his forehead, quickly pulling away as the boy moved a little. he sighed, taking off chanyeol's arm that was still at his waist before getting up, he knew he should properly say bye but only by thinking about chanyeol crying because of him made him want to cry too.
he then grabbed a pen and a paper and wrote a tiny note. he knew chanyeol was going to hate him for this but maybe he could understand too.
'i'm so sorry, yeol. i love you and i'll miss you'
⁃
outside, the sun was shining announcing spring's last day, the last cherry blossom petals falling together with chanyeol's heart pieces and tears. his mother had never seen him crying so much. he refused to tell why, as she hugged him close to her chest for the same reason for the second time, the image of the now not so small boy sobbing breaking her heart.
"this is so unfair, mom", chanyeol whispered. he tried to understand why kyungsoo said sorry so many times, and then it clicked. maybe kyungsoo was sorry because he couldn't reciprocate his feelings, maybe kyungsoo didn't liked him back and never thought of him the same way and that the kiss was just his way to prove himself.
he opted to erase this from his mind, forget that he confessed. kyungsoo was once again out of his reach, on the other side of the planet and he knew he was being pessimist but he was almost sure their friendship would vanish again.
⁃
on the first month, they kept in touch, but as the ache in his heart failed to subside, he did the only thing that seemed plausible, he ignored kyungsoo.
the emails increased, and he reluctantly read all of them, his fingers hovering over his keyboard, ready to type his replies but he always gave up on the end.
the last email he read was a short one, only containing a "I miss you, hyung". Kyungsoo never called him hyung, seeing his best friend treating him with so much formality hurt.
and the last three emails, he finally ignored. they were the last ones. kyungsoo had gave up on him.
⁃
sehun was in his second semester of freshman year and chanyeol's closest friend in university. a tall, lanky boy whose hair always changed according to his mood, he was also two years younger, his roommate and the reason why chanyeol met baekhyun, whom he drunkely kissed before whispering to the older that he was perfect for chanyeol.
baekhyun and chanyeol weren't in a relationship, but everyone on campus knew about them, they were too close to be just friends but too nonchalant about it to be boyfriends. chanyeol had feelings for baekhyun, but he wasn't ready for a relationship. at least now now, and baekhyun knew.
the first time he felt his heart skip a beat for baekhyun was also when they first had sex. they both had drank but weren't drunk, just tipsy enough to make things more heated. It wasn't the first time they made out furiously, but the first time they both crossed the invisible line they established when they first started whatever they had.
it was rushed, but baekhyun looked so vulnerable underneath him, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead as he panted and moaned chanyeol’s name, his nails leaving marks on his back while chanyeol left marks of his own on the petite boy’s neck, baekhyun was addicting. after they finished, the alcohol was already leaving their bodies, baekhyun was the first one to sleep, his head on chanyeol’s chest, his body falling and rising slowly, and he looked gorgeous.
chanyeol thought things would get awkward between them after that night, but as they became close, the one night stand they had turned into a casual fling and soon sehun was labelling them as friends with benefits. (the poor guy had to leave the apartment some nights, the moans were too loud for his taste).
it was during one of those nights that he changed his mind. their moans were loud and their bodies were working in perfect sync. they were drunk, both in alcohol and in each other, but chanyeol was sober enough to hear baekhyun faintly whisper i love you right on his ear.
He had talked with sehun about it on a rainy night, eating chips while lying down on the younger's bed, the soon to be programmer furiously re-typed codes on his keyboard, reciting them to his pet rubber duck (a gag gift from luhan, whose name was luhan too) barely blinking his eyes as he tried to figure out what was wrong, not paying any attention to what he was saying.
chanyeol thought he was becoming too attached to the duck, he carried it around to his classes because 'luhan helped him with wrong codes'. sehun was a lost case, he knew the younger wouldn't help anything but still, he was the only friend chanyeol had to talk about it, he was there since the very beginning, and sehun knew about chanyeol's thoughts about relationships, the older boy didn't hate the idea, but he wasn't interested either.
“people already think you guys are dating, you have nothing to lose, really” he said, after making chanyeol repeat everything he said.
“do you think classical music will stimulate my programming abilities?” chanyeol got up and slammed the door.
perhaps sehun was right, he had nothing to lose.
⁃
the weather was great, finally allowing everyone to wear comfortable clothes and letting go of the boring colored heavy coats. the new semester had just started and people were slowly coming back from the holidays they spent at home. chanyeol called his mother, informing her that he wouldn't be going home, he had his projects to finish and promised Sehun to stay with him, since the younger's parents were out of the country.
baekhyun stayed too, kept them company and brought them food whenever necessary, helping with house chores and even doing their grossery shopping since he was the one with most free time.
he’d curl up on chanyeol's bed to take naps, waiting for him to finish his projects so they could hang out or just talk. it never happened, though. but sleep surrounded by chanyeol's smell on his bed sheets always made up for it
⁃
"you're just too good for this world." the voice over the phone said excitedly as chanyeol walked inside his off campus apartment complex - it was close enough to allow him and sehun to never be late for their classes -.
he chuckled, of course baekhyun would be too happy when he mentioned lunch at his favorite restaurant near their university. he slowly climbed the stairs as baekhyun rambled about the special dessert they had for the month.
"it's just lunch, don't get too happy otherwise you won't get to eat dessert", he joked, as he balanced his phone between his ear and shoulder, opening the door and lazily walking towards his bedroom.
"you're no fun, yeol. what's the reason for lunch anyways? we won't have much time, i have afternoon classes today and i guess you have work? i told you, i finally have a roommate now, he moved in today and we still need to discuss a few things. he left to meet a friend or something". chanyeol could faintly hear footsteps on the other side of the line and the jingle of baekhyun's keychains, a door opening then closing, indicating that the older male was already leaving his dorm.
"just behave, baek. there's no reason, i just really need to talk to you so since you're free now and I'm too, lunch sounds good, right? i thought your rommate would move in next week, what happend?" he cautiously put his bag with his belognings on top of his desk, turning to fetch his other satchel, stuffing in his work clothes before zipping it.
"nothing happened, apparently he changed his flight and arrived early. i'm already out, so we can meet in thirty minutes, right? i just need to drop a few things in the studio for jongdae."
"sure, well meet in thirty. see you, baek"
"please don't get late like the last time, see you." the line got cut, he then put his phone on his back pocket and checked his hair one last time before going out.
chanyeol felt anxiety hitting him hard, mixed with confusion but decided to shake off the feelings. he was going to ask baekhyun to be his boyfriend, he was one hundred percent decided.
on his way to the restaurant, chanyeol ran into sehun in front of a cafe. the boy was across the street, his back was turned to him and it seemed like he was talking to a few friends.
as chanyeol crossed the street, he could see two boys with sehun, one the same height as him and a slightly small one. he couldn't see the smaller one face, sehun's shoulder blocking it. and perhaps it should have been better to never have crossed the street. he called sehun's name and the younger boy turned around.
he forgot how to breathe as his eyes met equally widened eyes.
"hyung! come meet my friends!" sehun eagerly grabbed chanyeol's arm, pulling him forward. chanyeol felt like he was dead weight, he could feel his long limbs shaking as Sehun pulled him until they were in front of a young couple.
"hyung, this is Jongin, we went to the same school in california since middle school" he pointed to the taller boy. he had strawberry pink hair and was dressed simply, skinny dark jeans and a white hoodie, two bags of grocery shopping in his hand.
“jongin, this is chanyeol, he’s s my housemate” he said.
"hi, i'm kim Jongin, nice to meet you" he said as he bowed, extending his free hand, chanyeol quickly bowing in heturn and accepting the offered hand, shaking it. he wasn't sure of how he was working but he wanted to run before sehun had the chance to open his mouth again, but it was too late.
"and this little one is k-"
"kyungsoo". chanyeol said, his eyes never leaving the smaller boy in front of him. he was all dressed in black, his hair was black too and he no longer had an undercut. his ear had now two piercings and his glasses where still round shaped. but he looked different, he was still short but his features looked mature now, and yet he looked like he never changed a bit. and he too, couldn't take his eyes off of chanyeol, disbelief was evident on his face, his eyes widened and his mouth slight open in awe.
"wait, you two know each other? but how?" sehun pointed back and forth between them, Jongin staring too much at chanyeol, specially at his left wrist, then back at kyungsoo, his sleepy eyes now showing interest.
"we were neighbors when we were kids" kyungsoo quickly said and chanyeol could feel eletrecity run through his veins, kyungsoo's voice had changed over the years and now it sounded rough but velvety, melodious still.
he couldn't miss the lack of explanation or the fact that he only said they were neighbors, the best friend part missing. he decided not to correct the younger one, let it be.
sehun kept looking between them since they were still staring at each other, kyungsoo now seemed a little bit angry, but it was soon replaced by shock when jongin threw an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close.
"so you were my little soo's neighbor, huh? that's surprising" he said as he pecked kyungsoo's check, who slowly pushed him away, "jongin, please" he said as the other tried to put his arm over him again.
sehun laughed. "you guys haven't changed, can't you just stop? it's two in the afternoon for god's sake"
" i- uh, i need to be somewhere now, I'm sorry, i'll see you later. bye jongin, it was nice to see you again, kyungsoo"
he could hear sehun saying ‘tell pixie I said hi’ when he crossed the street. as he made his way to the restaurant, his right hand clutched his left wrist.
⁃
when he entered the cozy restaurant, baekhyun was already waiting for him at a table.
he was dressed with a blue dress shirt and the ripped jeans he knew chanyeol loved, on his head a red snapback. he was wearing his glasses, the one he hated so much.
he was reading carefully the book that he had on his lap, his attention fully on it. he looked lovely and chanyeol couldn't deny it.
chanyeol slowly made his way to the table and unintentionally startled the older male as he tripped over a chair and dropped his satchel, baekhyun's loud laugh drawing even more attention to him. He was sure the obnoxious laugh could be heard even in the second floor of the restaurant.
he sat and after baekhyun's laugh transformed into low giggles. chanyeol chuckled as the older wiped a few tears that gattered on his eyes. he eyed the menu and called over an waiter who took note of their orders. baekhyun's giggles finally ceasing as he slowly raised a brow at him.
"did you just ordered for me, park?" he scoffed.
"you were too busy laughing at me to notice so yes, i ordered for you" chanyeol said, studying the floor to ceiling glass window on the other side of the restaurant. the sky was starting to get full of grey clouds, he only hoped they could both make it to their destinations before it started to rain.
chanyeol made a small pep talk with himself and thought it would be the best to say everything he had in his mind before regret started to hit him.
"listen, baek. there's a reason why i asked you to have lunch with me, it's kind of a big deal," he chuckled as baekhyun stared at him, his expression slowly turning into one of worry.
his stomach slowly making tiny flips inside of him, " you don't need to look so worried. so-" chanyeol got interrupted as baekhyun's phone started to ring, the lively ringtone making a few people turn their attention to their table. baekhyun excused himself as he stood up to take the call.
chanyeol sighed, his hand ruffling his hair, he was getting frustrated. baekhyun came back just in time for the waiter to bring their orders, he looked frustrated as well, but obviously for a totally different reason.
"is something wrong?" he asked as baekhyun fidgeted inside his bag, searching for something. the older boy stopped and sighed, putting his bag again behind his chair and paying attention to their meal. he started to eat the pasta chanyeol ordered and chanyeol followed suit, the whole discuss he had prepared on his mind now long forgotten.
"my rommate called. you remember the dorm head left the keys with me in case he arrived, right?" chanyeol nodded. "looks like i gave him the wrong key and he's now stuck outside the room. i was sure i gave him the right key. and now i can't find it, i probably left it inside the dorm" he took a bite of his food.
"we don't have to rush, though. he said he'd wait at his friend's place and that once i'm finished i can call him. guess i'll just skip my classes today" he shrugged, frowning, chanyeol wanted to kiss his frown away. He opened his mouth and closed, unsure of what to say.
"at least he's a cool guy, he was nice enough to wait, you know? If it was me i'd throw a fit and demand the keys right away, but it's just me so..." he laughed.
they finished their lunch in a pleasant silence, until chanyeol decided to talk again as they waited for dessert, baekhyun opting for the new strawberry cake, while chanyeol opted for a simple cup of tea.
"so, i know this is really sudden but i've been thinking a lot about it and-" once again he got interrupted but this time it was by baekhyun.
"sorry yeol but i forgot to tell you this. i've been thinking about this since morning, i was really excited to tel you this." he smilled. "it's silly, really, but my roommate is shorter than me. i thought i should tell this to you and sehun so you both could stop calling me pixie, give me a break."
the waiter brought his cake and he dove it right away, munching on it and making yummy noises. chanyeol chuckled.
"so as i was saying-"
"his name is kyungsoo, i think. he’s really adorable, you should meet him. are you okay? you look pale all of sudden. does the food gave you a stomach ache?" baekhyun looked worried again.
chanyeol took a deep breath. it was too much to digest in a few hours. not only had kyungsoo returned home, enrolled at the same university as his, was high school friends with sehun and now he was going to be baekhyun's roommate?
he smiled at baekhyun to calm him down, "i’m okay, don't worry," he lied. his mind was probably beeping with error written on his forehead but he had to take it cool. he sipped his tea and sighed.
"so what was it you were saying? i'm sorry i kept interrupting you, i’m all ears now, i swear" baekhyun said as he grabbed his hand on top of the table. chanyeol then gave him a small smile, he now wasn't so sure of what to say anymore. maybe it could wait for a better ocasion? one he doesn't look like he's about to pass out any minute.
“it's nothing, really. i just wanted to invite you to the movies tomorrow? or maybe i just wanted a excuse to take you out". he squeezed his hand back and baekhyun's eyes lit up at the mention of going out, he smilled at him and his heart squeezed just like his grip on baekhyun's hand. “sorry you thought it would be something huge, Im terrible.” he sighed.
"sounds good, there's this movie I really want to see".
⁃
after bidding goodbye to baekhyun, who tiptoed to give him a small peck on his cheek, chanyeol ran to the small bakery he worked at. it was really small, but the payment was nice and his shifts were flexible because of his classes and it helped with rent so he was good.
the afternoon shift were his favorites, it always passed fast and he barely had to stay to close the shop, his boss was nice enough to tell him not to worry about closing time, and in no time he was home again, now facing a really curious sehun.
"how do you know kyungsoo? he didn't say a word and you know i'm curious as fuck" He folded his arms, they were booth at their living room playing mario kart, the match had just ended, chanyeol threw his joystick at the coffee table and groaned. he knew he couldn't keep this from sehun for too long but he would delay it as much as possible.
"he already told you, we were neighbors when we were kids. that's it." he looked at sehun who just snorted, that brat.
"tell me why i should believe you, that encounter was really awkward, you know? it looked like you both had seen a ghost." he snorted again, pulling back his now dyed grey hair, the strands falling back against his forehead.
“yeol?”
“what?”
“your wrirst”, sehun smirked.
chanyeol sighed. It was going to be a long night.
⁃
It took one month for him to see kyungsoo again. it was strange, with him living with baekhyun and all, chanyeol was sure he’d bump into him more than he intended.
the classes had started with full force and he already found himself with three new assignments due to the next month, he once again became lifeless, not only him but it looked like everyone.
he had told everything to sehun, begging him to keep everything to himself and once in his life, it looked like he was keeping his promise. ("and now he's pixie's new roommate? holy shit!" was what he said, great support)
it was funny, really, with how even with kyungsoo being baekhyun's new roommate, it took one month for him to have a glimpse of him, on campus as he entered the music building. he took note to ask sehun what he was majoring.
⁃
jongin was always around his apartment with sehun, the mathematics student almost turning into a furniture. chanyeol swears everytime he gets home, jongin is there.
he wondered how could a person who was majoring in mathematics could have so much free time to play video games. he also wondered how much free time sehun had, he was sure he had as much assignments as himself.
they became friends anyways.
he finally found out that no, kyungsoo and Jongin weren't dating like he thought they were, but that Jongin had a huge soft spot for him, and used to have a crush on him, but kyungsoo rejected him. ("been there, done that, right?" sehun joked later when jongin left their apartment, he wanted to punch him.)
it looked like jongin, sehun and kyungsoo formed some sort of trio during high school. when he left for america, kyungsoo had to start everything again since freshman year, so he was paired with the childhood friends duo.
sehun left for korea with his parents one year before high school graduation, leaving both of them behind with promises of going to the same university.
jongin was a nice guy, but they were still awkward around each other, jongin always seemed to be alert of everything chanyeol did, as if he knew something he didn't. It bothered him at first, but now jongin was around enough for him not to be anymore.
they got closer enough for him to learn that jongin loved to text a lot and watch videos, especially of a japanese girl who is a competitive eater and posted her challenge videos online. - "it's like muk bang, hyung. but she's japanese and her videos are on youtube, you don't have to pay for it" - He said before sending at least five different videos to him. baekhyun used to make muk bang, he should tell him this.
⁃
two weeks later chanyeol found himself tired than the usual. he had stayed until closing time for the first time so he could take the day off the next day. he had finished his assignments the night prior and everything the poor guy wanted was to finally have a good night of sleep.
he could finally stop ignoring baekhyun's texts.
he was ready to open the door and flee to the bathroom, take a long shower and crash in his bed but he wasn't prepared for this.
as usual, jongin was there with sehun, but tonight kyungsoo was also there.
the room was filled with loud laughs coming from the gaming duo, kyungsoo was intently staring at his phone as if the other two were invisible.
chanyeol threw his keys on the bowl at the counter and took of his shoes, going inside the vivid living room.
"if i were you i wouldn't sit here, pixie is in your room" he was about to sit when sehun said it, his eyes glued on the screen as jongin's character k.o-ed his.
sehun threw his arms up in frustration, jongin's hearty laugh echoing in the room after as he sat on the couch with kyungsoo, whose eyes were fixed in chanyeol, quickly averting when chanyeol looked at him. the move didn't went unnoticed by jongin, who flashed a knowing smile at chanyeol.
"soo, you hungry? wanna go home?" jongin asked, hugging the older boy, who only shook his head. chanyeol was still staring at them, sehun clapped his hand to get his attention.
"yeol, pixie". he said, pointing towards chanyeol's bedroom.
"right," chanyeol ruffled his hair and went to said room. what was going on with jongin?
⁃
baekhyun was lying down on his bed, headphones on as he typed on his phone. he quickly got up upon chanyeol's arrival, a blinding smile plastered on his face.
"you're home!" chanyeol sat on the bed alongside the other boy, who promptly hugged him. "how was work today?" he sweetly asked.
"it was fine, i think. at least i'll have the day off tomorrow, i really want to sleep" he petted baekhyun's fluffy brown locks making the boy almost purr.
"oh. should i leave then? i don't want to interrupt if you're tired" chanyeol shook his head and got up to fetch his satchel, taking out a music sheet. even though he was majoring in economics, composing songs was his most loved hobby, he was talented.
"i have this for you, for the autumn concert" he gave baekhyun the sheet and got up, siting at his desk so he could use his keyboard.
baekhyun sat at the end of the bed and gave him the sheet back. soon, a calm melody filled the bedroom, chanyeol's skilled fingers working perfectly on the keys, baekhyun humming softly alongside the melody.
"it still needs lyrics, i thought we could work on it together" chanyeol said as he finished playing, receiving a little one-man standing ovation.
"it's perfect, yeol. you shouldn't have. really. you had so many assignments to do and still had time to do this to me. it's perfect, i loved. you're perfect" he pecked chanyeol's lips before sitting down again, studying the sheet with the brightest of the smiles on his face. chanyeol chuckled.
"i know the concert is important for you, so i thought i could help? i made it during the free time i had, don't worry. stay the night, we might come out with the lyrics if you want" chanyeol suggested getting up and walking to his closet, picking clean clothes
"sure, why not?" chanyeol smiled and made his way to the bathroom and baekhyun quickly changed to more comfortable clothes. he took the sheet and studied it again, his heart was filled with joy, chanyeol surely was too good for this world, he felt blessed.
a soft knock distracted him of his thoughts and baekhyun looked up to see the door slowly opening, enough for sehun to pop his head inside the room.
"uh, we're going out to eat and maybe hit at few songs in the noreabang but seeing that you're already wearing your pajamas, you're going to sleep already?" he cocked his head to the side.
"oh, no, we're working on this" he showed sehun the music sheet in his hand.
"it's for the concert?" sehun asked, he nodded. the younger gave him thumbs up before wishing him a good night and closing the door.
he sighed and lied down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
chanyeol came out of the bathroom with steam coming behind him, already dressed in his pajamas, drying his hair with a towel.
"you okay?" he sat himself on the bed, his hair still wet making little droplets of water fall on the mattress.
"yeol," baekhyun got up and grabbed his wrist, caressing it. "is he him?" he softly asked, playing his bracelet.
"who?"
"kyungsoo. is he the one you told me about?" yeol averted his gaze from the hand on his wrist and looked up to see baekhyun staring at him.
"h-how did you found out? sehun told you something?" he panicked, getting up to go break the shit out of sehun's face.
baekhyun chuckled, making him sit back on the bed. "no, sehun didn't said anything, but i guess i should ask him?" he scoffed.
"you know even more than sehun, don't bother" chanyeol grabbed his bag, picking a pencil and a notebook.
"the bracelet”.
chanyeol looked at his left wrist, a single bracelet was on it. it was simple, a yellow silicon band.
"yes, it's him".
they bought the bracelet together on kyungsoo’s sixteenth birthday, chanyeol insisted it would be nice to have something to symbolize their friendship whilst kyungsoo thought it was too girly. they bought it anyways, promising to keep it forever.
as silly as it was, chanyeol kept his promise but he never thought kyungsoo would too.
"is he... wearing it too?" he cleaned his throat, baekhyun sighed loudly.
"yes, that's how i figured out, not everyone has an ugly yellow band on their wrist" baekhyun crawled to the end of the bed and sat with his back resting on the headboard
"how do you feel?"
"about what?"
"forget it".
⁃
they worked on the lyrics, not really coming with what they really wanted, chanyeol was frustrated and baekhyun was oddly quiet.
"are you okay?" chanyeol whispered, startling the older boy
baekhyun lied down on the bed again, patting the empty spot beside him. chanyeol put the notebook and the pencil on his chair and lied beside him. the older boy promptly put his head on chanyeol's chest, his hand resting on his stomach.
he gently stroked baekhyun's honey brown tuffs, feeling the boy relaxing on his embrace.
"instead of writing the lyrics, can we just stay like this and sleep? you're tired" baekhyun looked up and smiled at him. chanyeol nodded and got up to turn off the lights, coming back to bed and embracing baekhyun again, his hand atop of baekhyun's hand on his chest.
"thank you again, yeol" baekhyun kissed his hand and closed his eyes.
⁃
on the next sunday, he spotted kyungsoo at the small bakery.
the movement of people was weak and only a few tables were occupied. kyungsoo was at the far corner of the bakery, a small cheesecake in front of him. he was happily munching..
chanyeol slowly made his way to the boy, sitting on the chair in front of him, startling the boy.
"is it good?" he asked, smiling.
kyungsoo coughed so hard he had to take a sip of his tea, his face slowly gaining it's normal color as chanyeol stared at him worried, it wasn't his intention to startle him.
"what?" he coldly said, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
"the cheesecake, i asked if it's good" chanyeol pointed at the remaining piece of food on the other's plate.
"oh. yes, it is good" kyungsoo said, now avoiding looking at chanyeol's direction.
"i made it myself" chanyeol's smile grew bigger as kyungsoo looked at him with his eyes almost the size of golf balls.
"it's impossible, it's good, incredibly good, taste like it was made in heaven. you don't know how to cook" he said, scoffing, crossing his arms on his chest.
"i know, right? i work here helping at the kitchen, i've learnt how to cook and since you said it's incredibly good, i'll take it as i'm making a good job then"
"you used to hate cooking, what happened?"
"i guess i've missed your cookies, i started with them, then sweets took my interest and i started experimenting" kyungsoo snorted at the mention of the cookies, remembering how chanyeol would eat five times in a row because he loved them.
"i bet your cookies aren't that nice"
"they're the most famous here", chanyeol deadpanned.
"i don't believe you" kyungsoo retorted.
"they aren't great as yours but they have fans, okay?" kyungsoo presented him with a smile and he felt something on his stomach akin to uneasiness.
"kyungsoo?" chanyeol asked, receiving a questioning look from the younger boy.
"why have you been ignoring me?"
"shouldn’t i ask you this? did you really thought i'd jump on you first thing after what you did?" kyungsoo questioned, his face was serious and the atmosphere became stiff.
"after.. what i did?"
"we had no reason to stop talking after i left, yet you ignored me. i had a hard time accepting the fact you were fine without me"
"i..."
"i got tired, and when you didn't replied to my last email i knew it was the end". kyungsoo smiled sadly, fidgeting with the rest of his forgotten cheesecake, he wasn't hungry anymore.
"i'm sorry", chanyeol whispered.
"you should go back to work, we can talk later, text me when you finish your shift" kyungsoo said as he picked a pen, scribbling down his number on a napkin, giving it to chanyeol and exiting the bakery.
when his shift ended chanyeol texted kyungsoo and found himself in a cozy restaurant with the later.
kyungsoo seemed calm and they actually enjoyed the dinner, the talk was pleasant and soon they were both sharing smiles and laughs. the conversation lasted for hours, the tension of their talk early long forgotten. chanyeol was finally at ease.
minutes after he arrived at his apartment, he received a text from kyungsoo.
'thank you for dinner, it was nice catching up again.'
he smiled as re replied, catching sehun and jongin's attention when his phone beeped again.
"is it pixie?" sehun asked, his eyes glued at his laptop as he typed codes, the rubber duck was right at the coffee table.
"no, it's not" he said, sitting at the couch alongside jongin. sehun looked at him and quirked an eyebrow.
"then why are you smiling so much?"
"none of your business, nerd" he retorted, jongin looked up from his phone and snorted.
sehun teased him, saying his smile was so big it could rip his face. he threw a pillow at the boy and left for his room.
one text led to another and they spent the whole night texting each other. chanyeol slept with a smile on his lips
⁃
have kyungsoo back at his life was easier than he thought it would be
kyungsoo was always at the bakery and had become one of his most diligent clients, he was his tester for new recipes and sometimes would even help at the kitchen when his boss weren't around.
texts and phone calls became a usual thing and they met on campus too, having lunch together whenever possible. kyungsoo was majoring in music therapy and shared a few classes with baekhyun, and it looked like they had became friends.
the contrast of their personalities was noticeable and funny. baekhyun was lively, liked to laugh loud and was the type to talk more than he should whilst kyungsoo was more shy, giggled to himself and was the type to pay attention more than actually talking.
baekhyun seemed to get a liking to kyungsoo, and chanyeol felt his heart tight whenever he saw them sharing smiles
⁃
he felt divided.
“for a logic statement this doesn't seem very logical.” sehun said.
chanyeol was lying on sehun's bed, his arm covering his eyes.
"stop the whole developer talk, sehun. this is serious" chanyeol told sehun everything about his texts with kyungsoo and their "bakery dates".
“i should put this project on hold and deal with it later, looks like we have more problems here", sehun said, closing his laptop.
"i think you should decide", he breathed. "jongin has been interested in pixie ever since the first time he saw him. i told him to forget about it since you were going to ask baekhyun to be your boyfriend, but since you made no move.."
chanyeol groaned.
“hyung, stop being so selfish, pixie needs a chance to be loved. he’s waiting for you to say something” he got up and sat at the bed, rubber duck in hand.
“here, you can talk to luhan, he might help”
chanyeol groaned again, but accepted the duck.
⁃
chanyeol had a headache. the only thing he wanted was to lock himself in his room and sleep at least for four months. the headache became worse when he walked in the living room.
"sehun. what is this?" he pointed to the white kitty sehun had running between his legs as he cooed at it.
"hey! "this", he made parentheses with his hand, "is luhan, okay?" he picked up the kitty, scratching behind its ear "it's so cute, right?" he shoved the kitty on chanyeol's face as if he couldn't see it.
chanyeol sneezed.
"you mean it's luhan's, right?" he asked, covering his nose and mouth with his hands.
"no, it's luhan. the name, i named it luhan and we're keeping it"
"you can't decide it alone, sehun i-" he sneezed, the kitty meowed and sehun girly squealed, sitting with the kitty on his lap, happily scratching behind its ear.
chanyeol was tired. he didn't want to argue with sehun.
"sehun, we can't keep it." a sneeze.
"why not? i'll take care of it" he looked up at chanyeol, pouting.
"sehun, i'm allergic. we can't keep it. please find it a home". he walked away and slammed the door, startling sehun and the poor kitty.
falling face first on his bed, he yelled on his pillow. he was frustated, the headache was too much and the last thing he wanted to deal was with sehun's whims. he slowly turned around and faced the ceiling, sighing loudly.
half an hour later a soft knock was heard and the door slowly opened. "someone is grumpy today", sehun stated, lying on the bed.
"i left luhan at luhan hyung's place. he's keeping the cat", he tsked, "he's going to change the name, though".
Sehun turned his head and watched as chanyeol sat, holding his face between his hands.
"i kissed kyungsoo", he said, running his hands through his hair.
"woah, congrats?" sehun sat, staring at chanyeol, who seemed to want to rip out his own hair. "why are you like this? you kissed the golden boy. i expected another type of reaction?"
"most of the sex i've had in my life weren't as personal as that kiss, sehun" he groaned again, "but baekhyun saw us"
sehun gaped.
"we were at the bakery's kitchen and i totally forgot i had asked him to have dinner with me. we were washing the dishes and he had something on his cheek, i leaned in to wipe it and one thing led to another. i've never saw baekhyun ran so fast my entire life"
"maybe now is a good time for testing the theory of ballmer’s peak. let's go to a bar, hyung" sehun patted his back as he got up, holding his wrist and pulling chanyeol across the apartment, grabbing his keys and locking the door.
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