Part 1a: November 2012 - September 2013

[kallistei]

17 November 2012

"I'm sorry, boys. They're not going to be renewing your contract. They're looking to put more money into the newer groups."

21 July 2013

"Hey, Jaejoong?"

Jaejoong looks up from his idle net-surfing, ringed fingers tapping against the mouse. "Yeah?"

"Are you busy next year?" Yoochun sips at his coffee.

"What?"

"Let's go out."

Jaejoong props his chin up with a hand; he's paying attention now. "Out out?"

Yoochun starts walking away and answers over his shoulder, "Out out!"

25 July 2013

Nearly ten years' worth of Jaejoong secrets are stored somewhere in Yoochun's head, and he ends up thinking about all of them as he tosses and turns in bed, trying to fall asleep. After an hour of failure, he climbs out and shuffles across the room to Jaejoong's bed, blankets wrapped haphazardly around himself. He kneels on the floor and prods the lump in front of him lightly, slumping forward to rest his chin on the mattress. "Hyung," he says pathetically, prodding again.

It takes a second before Jaejoong rolls over, always a terribly light sleeper. An arm lashes out from under the cocoon of blankets. "What. Fire? Yoochun?"

Used to Jaejoong's tendencies, Yoochun ducks the flying limb, except he forgets to factor in his horrible 2am depth perception and ends up getting smacked in the nose anyway. "No to the fire, yes to me," he says, rubbing his nose gingerly.

"Oh, shit. Sorry." The lump wiggles some more; soon Jaejoong's entire face is visible, eyes blinking at Yoochun blearily through the dark before he slides over to make room. "Getting in?"

Yoochun smiles gratefully at the invite and stands up to crawl onto Jaejoong's bed. "Wake you from anything important?" he asks, untwisting the blanket from underneath him.

"Beauty sleep," Jaejoong yawns, nudging his pillow over to be shared like he's done this a million and one times. By now, they might have. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Yoochun says, though it's probably, kind of, sort of a lie. He turns onto his side and gnaws on his bottom lip for a bit. "I think I'm serious about going out."

"Oh." Jaejoong's hard to see in the dark, so all Yoochun really has to go on is his voice, which is sleepy and curious but nothing like a refusal. "Where?"

Yoochun shrugs. "Somewhere. My old house, maybe. That's not weird, right?" He pulls the blanket up to his chin. "I've just kind of been wanting to go for a while. See if it's still there at least." America isn't something he talks about a lot, and this is the first time in a long, long while that he's mentioned anything about the life he had before here, before them. But Yoochun doesn't wonder if he's making any sense bringing it all up now, figures Jaejoong's heard him talk like this enough that a logical train of thought would actually be more confusing.

Jaejoong hmms, single-syllable understanding, but he doesn't say anything else for a while, and Yoochun starts to think he's fallen back asleep. It's not like it hasn't happened before. "It doesn't need to be just Virginia, right? There's, you know. You, or we, we could go to L.A. again. And anywhere in between. It's a big country."

"Yeah, pretty big," Yoochun replies dumbly. Then he backtracks. "Like. We, we or them, we?"

"Um." There's another silence, shorter this time, and next to him, Jaejoong shifts, starting to wake up more. "Um, we, we."

Yoochun exhales slowly and he feels a little bit guilty when it comes out sounding relieved. He nods and rolls onto his back again. "That's okay, right?" he says towards the ceiling. "Just we, we?" It's all equally terrifying anyway - alone, with Jaejoong, all of them. But he's dependent and Jaejoong's comfortable.

"They'll get it." The blankets get pulled and shoved around as Jaejoong turns onto his stomach. "I'll look after you, you'll drive me around, we'll discover meanings of life, it'll be mutually beneficial."

That earns a small smile from Yoochun. "Sounds like what we already do." But the way Jaejoong says it does sound nice, almost like a vacation. "Learn how to surf and eat a hundred hot dogs in five minutes?"

"Totally, dude," Jaejoong answers.

Yoochun turns his head and blinks at Jaejoong, even if he can't see it, letting the silence speak for itself until Jaejoong finally breaks it, navigating under the blankets to kick Yoochun's calf.

"Sleep. I'll print out a big map and we can mark it up in the morning."

Yoochun snorts, getting settled. "You don't know how to print things," he says, super considerate as he steals more pillow space.

"Go fuck yourself," Jaejoong says pleasantly.

"I love you, too, baby."

2 August 2013

Jaejoong and Yunho still have whispered conferences in the bathroom, because no matter how many years have gone by, they've never quite grown out of being umma and appa. Yunho leans against the wall, Jaejoong perches on the side of the bathtub, and they talk about anything that needs talking about, working through their respective to-do lists.

"Yoochun wants to go on a road trip," Jaejoong says, non-sequitur in the middle of a conversation about something entirely different - how much sleep Junsu hasn't been getting, or how they need to remind their manager to buy more rice, something perfectly ordinary.

Yunho blinks. "A road trip?"

"An epic American road trip," Jaejoong says. "Next year."

"Oh." Yunho smiles at him. "Sounds like fun."

It's an open chance to talk about the places he and Yoochun have already whimsically listed as must-sees (things like: the world's biggest ball of twine; Disneyland; Yoochun's high school), or how the idea of this much travel is shaking the footloose part of himself awake, but Jaejoong only ends up saying, tongue firmly in cheek, "So you'll be a single parent for a couple months."

Yunho laughs, says, "Guess so," walking over to sit next to Jaejoong, leaning their shoulders together. Jaejoong leans back, and stubbornly does not fall backwards into the bathtub.

"Am I going to come back to a family of skeleton zombies? I am, aren't I."

"Hey!" Yunho replies, leaning a little harder and grinning. "Changmin would never let himself turn into a skeleton."

Jaejoong taps a finger to his lips. "Obese zombie?"

"That's just not scary." There's a second of hesitation, then Yunho's voice, softer. "I'll miss you."

Jaejoong should've said it first, after he brought up the entire road trip thing--was going to, if he'd actually decided how. I think I could go crazy, not having you three to take care of. I think I could go crazy, not having you three to take care of me. "I'll miss you more."

"Not possible," Yunho replies, voice too light. It makes Jaejoong pause, looking up from where he's been studying his hands. "Don't worry, I'll make sure they stay alive. You just look after Yoochun."

Jaejoong pokes Yunho in the chest, hard enough to make him wobble a bit and brace himself with a hand. "You have to stay alive too."

"Will, I promise."

Jaejoong lists on his fingers: "Three meals a day. Shower. Exercise. Sleep. Do work things. Do fun things. Meditate. Miss us a lot."

Yunho chuckles again, low and amused. "Yes, umma," he says.

"You'll be all right, appa," Jaejoong continues, and smiles back a little. "I'll send a monthly check and everything."

"Will set the lawyers on you if you don't!" Yunho threatens, pulling the face he likes to think is scary. In private, or with Yoochun, Jaejoong calls it the Grumpy Old Man With Big Stick And Violated Lawn Face.

Jaejoong traces a socked foot along the perimeter of bathroom floor tiles idly. There's something hanging around them, with Yunho being as close to unreadable as he gets. Jaejoong can guess what's behind the act. Still, he asks, off on a tangent again, "Wanna tell me what you're thinking about?"

"Just worrying," Yunho says, quirks a smile and wraps an arm around Jaejoong, something Jaejoong reciprocates by dropping his head onto Yunho's shoulder. "You know me."

Jaejoong rolls his eyes fondly, nudging his foot against Yunho's before he crosses their ankles together, some mutation of footsie. "Yoochun won't crash the rental and I won't rob a bank. We'll be okay. Don't give yourself white hair and wrinkles before you even hit thirty."

"They'd look good on me, though."

"I'm not canceling my grand adventure to spoon-feed you and walk you to the bathroom, old man."

"Taking a moment here to remind you that you're older than me."

"Age is just a number. Worry lines are real, and a real turn-off."

"Hey!" Yunho breaks out the pout. Jaejoong thinks that's really unfair.

"That's really unfair," he says, groans it as he wraps Yunho into a comfortable, apologetic, worry-exorcism hug. He pinches Yunho's cheek too, though there's no real purpose in that, apart from the entertainment value of Yunho's indignant mutter.



10 September 2013

Junsu sits at the end of the long conference table and thinks he's always known this was going to happen. He's always imagined a future standing under a thousand spotlights, having his voice heard by thousands of people. It's become the sole objective for him, the finish line, what he's meant to be. The fact that he feels like he's reached the finish line a thousand times over and shared his prize with four other people shouldn't matter; it still doesn't make sense for him to pause and stare blankly when he's offered a second chance as a solo artist.

But he does pause. And stare. At least until his manager calls his name in a concerned tone.

"I-" It isn't like what he has to say matters. He as good as signed this solo contract years ago, before Dong Bang Shin Ki. Everyone knows that. He can almost feel an imaginary Jaejoong smacking the back of his head - what's wrong with you, Junko? "Okay."

Afterwards, Junsu climbs up to the roof of the building and calls home. His mother picks up, Junho is out. He wants to say, umma, something doesn't feel right, but his mother tends to worry more than necessary, so instead he says, "Umma, they offered me a solo contract," and lets his mother cheer and cry for him.

Two hours later, he's waiting for the stars to blink at him when his phone vibrates again. It's Changmin.

"Jaejoong-hyung's cooking dinner. Better get back now before I decide you don't want your portion."

Junsu's stomach clenches. For a second he considers telling Changmin, go ahead, I'm not coming back 'cause I'm scared and I know it's silly - I don't even know why, but I am. "Okay." He breathes, "Uh. Okay."

"Yah," Changmin says. "Better hurry. Black hole, you know."

Junsu finds himself smiling at that, the comfort that if everything else changes, some things never will.

"Hyung." Junsu must have been silent a little longer than he thought. Changmin continues, "Come home. You know where to find me, if something's up." In the background, Junsu can hear Jaejoong yelling unintelligibly. He does pick up names, his and Changmin's. It keeps the smile on his face.

"I'm coming."

He says nothing about it over dinner - in fact, he says almost nothing at all. Ten years together means he knows he has an hour before Yunho approaches him, and a few more before either Yoochun or Jaejoong climbs onto his bed and steals his blanket until he talks. He's done that to them more than a few times himself. Changmin doesn't do either, for one reason or another. Junsu thinks perhaps he doesn't think he has the right to intrude upon the others' problems. Perhaps he knows they'll eventually come to him.

You know where to find me, if something's up.

Ten minutes later, Junsu slips into Changmin's room and closes the door quietly behind him. "Hey," he says. "Something's up."

Changmin's reading, curled up in a chair set up beside the window, lamp switched on by his side. He looks up with a soft smile and Junsu automatically returns it. "I know. You weren't talking during dinner."

Junsu has the decency to look sheepish. He sits cross-legged on Changmin's bed, for once not trying to mess up the pillows or Changmin's extra-warm blanket. A sigh to prepare himself, and then: "They offered me a solo contract." The best and worst thing about talking to Changmin is how fast they get to the point. "I said yes."

Changmin regards him silently for a moment, but it's not judgmental, and Junsu's grateful for that. "I'm glad you did," he finally says. "But why didn't you tell us at dinner, hyung?"

"I don't know." Junsu says, shaking his head. "I didn't know how to. It doesn't seem... fair. I mean, I know you all would've been happy about it, but it's just..." He lies down, grabs one of Changmin's pillows to snug. "It doesn't seem fair."

Changmin marks his place, sets his book aside, and Junsu watches as he stands up to come sit beside him. "I'll admit, hyung, I'm really jealous. I don't want to stop singing, and I don't even know what I want to do after this goes away." Junsu starts to feel even worse, hugs the pillow tighter and lowers his eyes. "But," Changmin continues, and Junsu can't help but look back up to confirm the tone of Changmin's voice - he looks resolved, like he's been thinking about this for a while. "You were born to sing, Junsu-yah." That Changmin's dropped the -hyung is a sign of how serious he is right now. He draws another breath. "I meant it - I'm glad you accepted. I'd have punched you, if you didn't."

Junsu looks at Changmin from over the pillow, his smile reaching his eyes. He tugs on the sleeve of Changmin's shirt, pulling him down until Changmin's lying beside him. When Junsu scoots closer and presses his forehead to Changmin's shoulder, it almost feels like they're twenty and twenty-one again, untouched and unworried.

"D'you think they'd have punched me, too, if I'd refused?"

He feels more than hears Changmin's chuckle. "Probably not. Yunho-hyung would have lectured you - he and Jaejoong-hyung, both, actually." Changmin goes silent again, but Junsu can practically hear the wheels turning in his head. "Don't know about Yoochun-hyung. My best guess is he'd call you stupid and then leer at you."

Junsu's still shaking with quiet laughter when he hears the door open. There's a moment of silence before he hears a familiar voice.

"Changmin." It's Yunho, calm and lethal. "What did you do?"

Junsu shakes harder. Beside him, Changmin sits up somewhat, glaring half-heartedly in the direction of the door. "Yah! What makes you think I did anything?"

Yunho says, "You made Junsu cry." And then, after some hesitation, "Or something did."

"I'm not crying." Junsu rolls and sits upright, eyes shining with laughter, and adds, "I'm happy. Guess what." Next to him, Changmin huffs as if to say told you so.

Yunho says, "Oh," and "sorry," and, "what, Junsu?"

Junsu's about to say something before he stops and reconsiders. "Can we get Jaejoong-hyung and Yoochunnie, too? I think they'll want to hear this." He hops off the bed and pulls Changmin with him, barrels to the door and grabs Yunho's elbow, too. "Come on, come on."

They find Yoochun and Jaejoong taking up the entire length of their couch. Yoochun has orange peel on his knees but Jaejoong's the one chewing something. After a series of pokes and protestations, they scoot aside, making space for Junsu to dump his two charges beside them, then squeeze himself into the middle. Their couch's always been one space too small, but no one's ever mentioned doing anything about it.

Junsu takes a deep breath and says it in a rush: "I said yes to a solo contract this afternoon and I didn't know how to tell you guys about it - I'm sorry I didn't call to make sure it was okay first - or something. I just hope you don't... take it the wrong way."

Yoochun accidentally feeds Jaejoong a peel. He doesn't realize he has until Jaejoong spits it back in his face, and then he's apologizing profusely, half-blaming it on Junsu for talking too fast to be comprehensible. Changmin snickers, and the spluttering and flailing is pretty distracting for a while, until calm is restored. As much as it can be with all of them squished onto the same couch, anyway, a certain amount of background elbowing inevitable. Jaejoong finally recovers the use of his mouth. "You realize we all knew this was coming, right?"

Junsu nods twice, after a beat, and relaxes when Yunho wraps arms around him. Changmin reaches over to poke his side lightly. From the other side of Jaejoong, Yoochun says, "Dumb, so dumb."

"Yeah," Jaejoong sighs loudly, "dumb." And then he throws his arms around Junsu and Yunho. Junsu starts laughing (it's either that or cry, and this is definitely something to be happy about); he laughs harder when Yunho says, "Snuggle pile!" and pins Junsu between himself and Jaejoong so Jaejoong can't try to run away, the way he sometimes does. Junsu can feel Yoochun join in happily with a yell and Changmin (probably after shaking his head) on top of them all, and he laughs harder, shaking in the middle of the pile when someone gropes his ass.

He looks down at a resigned Jaejoong and laughs, gasps his gratitude, thinks he hears Yunho whisper, "We love you, too."



13 September 2013

Yunho's offered a job with SM as a dance instructor and choreographer when their contract runs out. They talk about how good he is with the youngest of the trainees, how much he has to offer. They tell him they need that, that he could be good.

"I'll have to think about it," Yunho answers, but he doesn't really need to. It's a solid offer, a better schedule than what they've had for the last few years, and he'll be able to see Junsu, at least, in the office from time to time, maybe even work with him. He'll enjoy the work, even if it's not singing, not performing any more. He tells himself all these things, weighing it up in his head.

He still asks to take the idea home to discuss with the others before he accepts - maybe they could look for a new company, maybe they could still sing together. If Jaejoong and Yoochun give up their road trip plans for another handful of years, and Junsu forgoes the solo contract a little longer and maybe... Too many maybes, he thinks, in the face of certainty.

They agree; he takes the offer.

("You have to promise you'll still sing for me sometimes, hyung," Changmin says later that night, while they wash dishes together; everyone else has retreated to their separate rooms to deal with the still-sensitive subject in their own time, to come to terms with the way they seem to be splintering apart before it's even over. "Okay?"

"Okay," Yunho acquiesces easily, feeling a little lighter. "But only if you sing with me."

"Starting right now," Changmin prods, nudging Yunho's shoulder, making Yunho squirm away as best he can with his hands still in the sink. "And ending never."

Yunho laughs and nods, splashing Changmin with a few drops before he starts singing, waiting for Changmin's voice to join his. The water fight Changmin instigates proves a distraction, but it's okay. They'll have other chances to sing together, just like Changmin said.)

25 September 2013

Changmin's never been sure what he wants to do after. He's never thought about it, because this was supposed to be forever, the five of them singing on a stage well into their fifties. He has a lot of hobbies, but there's never been one where he wondered, Can I do this for the rest of my life? Photography in Paris was fun, and he's taken a few shots around the house, at PV and photo shoots, just to see what he could make of it. It's never really been something he had a passion for, not like singing. But now, singing's almost over with.

There's also the possibility of working with food, though that's always been Jaejoong's forte. He's always been more keen on eating food than making it. But the thought of eating take-out every night with Jaejoong no longer there to cook for them is frightening, especially when Changmin's seen what Yunho does when he tries to cook. 'Tries' being the key word.

("Go back to school. Get your PhD. Cure cancer," Junsu says before disappearing to the workroom, obviously intent on another round of composing. He's writing one last song for them - or maybe for himself - and Changmin neglects to remind him that he doesn't go to med school.

"Run for president of the world." Jaejoong is slightly more unhelpful.)

Changmin goes to Yunho; Yunho's the only other person who thinks as well as Changmin does - maybe even better, at times. He raps three times against the shut door and steps inside at the resulting 'come in'. "Hey," Changmin says, offering a smile to show he comes in peace.

Yunho's sitting at his desk, strategically placed along the south side of the room, across from his bed. Changmin remembers helping him move it from where it used to sit by the window facing east (Yunho commented that the sun always got in his eyes and that he couldn't see who was coming in unless he turned - not that he really had to, they'd all learnt the rhythm of each others' footsteps within the first few months). "Changmin-ah," Yunho says in greeting, pushing the chair back a little - extra welcome.

Changmin moves in a few easy strides to lean against the desk. "So. I need to do something," he offers point-blank.

Laughing quietly, Yunho slouches in his chair and looks up at Changmin. "Might help a little, yeah. What do you have so far, tensai Changmin?" Yunho knows him well.

Changmin shoves his hands in his pockets and crosses his feet. "Two things: photography or chef's license." He smiles wryly. "Junsu-hyung suggested curing cancer and Jaejoong-hyung thinks I should try ruling the world."

Yunho hums thoughtfully and says, "Think that last one would work out nicely for you." He leans forward, smile still present but a more serious air about him; in leader-sshi mode now. "But what do you think you'd be most passionate about, Changmin-ah?"

Changmin's lips curve a little sadly. "I'm already doing what I'm passionate about," he replies, fighting to keep the bitterness that hasn't quite faded yet out of his voice. He's not sure he manages it.

Yunho reaches forward and tugs one of Changmin's hands out of its pocket, lacing their fingers together loosely; it's gentle support, not meant to be overbearing in any way, and Changmin's grateful for that. He doesn't want to be coddled right now. Once again, Changmin thinks maybe Yunho is a little more observant than Changmin generally gives him credit for. "I know," Yunho says simply and Changmin suddenly feels a little bad for bringing the topic up. "But I think we all have something else for us out there. Junsu's a little different, but we all knew that when we signed up for this, I think. You just need to--"

Changmin holds up his other hand, trying to keep the amusement down to a minimum. Yunho's got that look on his face. "Hyung, if you tell me to follow my heart, I'm going to one touch you."

Yunho laughs, ducking his head as his shoulders shake. When he looks up again, he's still smiling, but he's serious again, too. "You know it's true, though, Changmin. As corny and cliché as it is."

Changmin sighs. Yunho's right, though it's not helping him choose between either one. "I'd say my passions for both are on pretty equal ground, then," he says. "But... the chef's license would be more practical, I suppose. Since..." Changmin trails off, smiling softly.

Yunho squeezes Changmin's hand once before he lets it go, standing. Changmin sees the hug coming and meets Yunho halfway, arms sliding easily around Yunho's neck as Yunho's arms encircle his waist. "I love you, Changmin." Changmin ignores the slight crack in Yunho's voice and echoes the sentiment fully.

Changmin sends in the paperwork for the chef's license the next day and Jaejoong beams, excited at the prospect of having someone to cook with (someone who knows what they're doing) when he returns.

30 September 2013

After Yoochun realizes that the ending contract is real, and that the road trip is becoming real, it hits him pretty hard and he spends two weeks straight living the nocturnal life. He goes through ten pints of Ben & Jerry's to accompany all ten Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers films, as well as Jaejoong's fury since it's definitely not Yoochun's money that's being spent on the ice cream.

By day eleven, he's kind of wishing someone would make him stop already because one, he's starting to get daily stomach aches and two, neither Fred or Ginger are really all that nice to look at for 25 hours.

His salvation comes in the form of Changmin, rapping loudly at the door and shouting, "Hyung, if you don't say come in within the next two seconds, I'm coming in there anyway. And you're not going to like me if I have to come in there anyway."

Yoochun doesn't reply, if only because there's a spoon dangling from his mouth and he's too lazy to remove it within the two-second allotment. When Changmin barges in though, he manages a garbled "you're late".

Changmin glares, hands on his hips, and stalks over to pull the spoon out of Yoochun's mouth. Yoochun lets his lower lip hang where it is in a pout. Changmin points the spoon at him as he speaks, "Hyung, you're being a girl right now." He glances around. "A really bad one, at that."

Slouching, Yoochun only pouts harder. "Do you like Vermonty Python?" He holds out the ice cream, an invitation for Changmin to finish the rest of it so Jaejoong doesn't actually kick his ass for being a Brooding Bob. "Eat it before I puke all over the place."

Changmin hasn't lost any of the Changmin-spark in his eyes. "If I do, you'll tell me what's going on in here, besides you getting fat off of ice cream? If I don't go back with anything, Jaejoong-hyung's coming in. Do you really want that?"

"Yes." Yoochun imagines Jaejoong wielding a stainless steel spatula with his name on it. "No." He sways a little towards the empty spot beside him on the futon and says, "Sit. Eat and I'll try to think up some really convincing bullshit for you."

Changmin sighs like he's not entirely won over, but takes the offered seat anyway. And the ice cream - black hole, indeed. "It better be really convincing bullshit, by which I mean it better be truth. Every single bit of it."

Yoochun pulls his legs up and circles his arms around his knees. "What happens if I under-perform?" he asks, looking at Changmin pointedly. "I react poorly to physical and verbal abuse. You know that."

Changmin takes a bite and winces, obvious brainfreeze, then pops Yoochun's nose with the spoon. "Better man up, then."

A new pout forms on Yoochun's face, one accompanied by puffy cheeks. "Just because you're a million feet taller than everyone else and five thousand times more muscular doesn't mean everyone else isn't manly."

Changmin grins for the first time since he barreled inside. "Meant man up for the verbal abuse. I'll be nice and spare you the physical, for now," he says, scooping up another bite of ice cream and licking it off the spoon daredevil style, upside down and dripping.

"Gee, thanks," Yoochun huffs, dropping his forehead against his knees. He starts swaying again, side to side, knocking his shoulder against Changmin's lightly. "So it's 9577.48 kilometers between Seoul and Los Angeles. I looked it up."

Changmin hums, mouth full of ice cream. When he swallows, he tilts his head a little. "Bullshit, or fact?"

"Yahhhh," Yoochun says defensively, shoving himself against Changmin a little bit harder. "You're not the only one who can use the internet anymore, you know. I looked it up for real."

Changmin ends up missing his mouth with the next bite as a result of Yoochun's push, ice cream landing in his lap. "Ass," he says, with a sound of mock-outrage. "And you're the one who said you'd talk convincing bullshit!"

Yoochun can only point and laugh, falling over the other way. "At least I'm not the one who can't even keep the ice cream in the spoon!"

Changmin stares at Yoochun for a few minutes, face stony, which is never a good sign. Then he shrugs and flips Yoochun off, digging into the ice cream again. "I would, if a certain someone wasn't so pushy-shovey tonight," he says haughtily.

Yoochun waits for the retribution, sprawling out on the futon when it doesn't come. "Man up," he mimics, crossing his arms behind his head.

He should have been expecting the icy glob that smacks him in the face. Mouth wide open and spluttering, Yoochun wipes his cheek off before the ice cream slides down his neck. He gives Changmin a narrow-eyed glare right before he flings the ice cream back in Changmin's direction, letting out a shout of glee when it interrupts Changmin's laughter, splattering all over his shirt and neck.

Changmin yelps, gathering the melted ice cream on his fingers, and attacks, ice cream all over Yoochun's face and one heavy Changmin sprawled on top of him. "Yah! You think you can beat me, hyung?"

Yoochun yells in protest, flailing from underneath Changmin. He tries to get his face away but only succeeds in smearing the ice cream onto the futon, and for a second, he thinks about all the horrible things Jaejoong's going to do to him when he discovers that stain. "Okay, okay - I give! No more!" he cries, shoving at Changmin's shoulders weakly as he continues to struggle.

Changmin's looking like he's got some plan stuck up his sleeve - and he probably does. "Okay, but I'm not getting up. No bullshit." While his face is, for the most part, smug, there's a hint of seriousness in his eyes. "You're going to have fun, hyung."

Relaxing at the words, Yoochun blinks up at Changmin a little bit in surprise. Then he gives a tiny smile and looks off to the side. "Yeah, I know," he murmurs. "Just used to having fun with everyone."

Changmin gives a small hum, easing the iron-grip he's got on Yoochun's shoulders, smiling solemnly - how he manages that, Yoochun's still not really sure. It seems to be something only Changmin can pull off. "You will be," he says. "Just because you two won't be with us, it doesn't mean anything. You'll be bombarded with emails and phone calls every. Day. Promise."

"I'm not paying that phone bill," Yoochun says firmly, though there's no real fight in his tone. Wiggling an arm up, he pats Changmin's cheek with a sticky hand. "Pretty useful sometimes, Minnie Mouse."

"I try," Changmin says dryly, rolling his eyes, but it's easy to tell the expression is fond. "You guys would probably never survive without me, it's true."

That earns Changmin a not-so-gentle pinch on the cheek. "And other times, completely full of it."

The look Changmin gives him is full of warnings. "Full of knowledge and wisdom beyond my years. Are you going to get up and go shower, or do I have to force you to? Because honestly, you reek."

"Hey!" Yoochun cries, defensive. "I showered this morning. Just because I'm being a hermit, doesn't mean I've forgone proper hygiene. Besides, you're just as badly off as I am, you little hypocrite."

Changmin snorts, poking Yoochun in the nose. "And just how am I a hypocrite? Did I lock myself in a room and worry all my hyungs to death when I found out you were going to leave for a year?"

Yoochun gives a sheepish sidelong glance. "Not leaving for a year," he mumbles. Then he looks back at Changmin, more seriously, and asks quietly, "That worried?"

Changmin regards him silently, like he's torn between not showing his vulnerable side and flashing it to the world - or, in this case, Yoochun. He sighs softly, finally. "It'll be different," he says.

"I'm the worst at letting go of things," Yoochun says. As if that's a secret.

"Maybe I'm just really good at hiding my inability to let go of things," Changmin says, quirking an eyebrow.

Yoochun looks at Changmin flatly, and then his expression softens. "This has been your life longer, I guess."

Changmin nods, glancing down briefly. "Yeah." He doesn't seem like he's going to elaborate and Yoochun isn't sure if he should ask.

"You'll have fun, too," Yoochun says instead, prodding Changmin in the side. "Years before you become an old man. Lots of things to do." Changmin sometimes looks like he already is an old man, with his sweater vests and prim hair, but Yoochun won't mention any of that.

Changmin raises his head, staring Yoochun down. "Promise?"

Yoochun gives a look too, but his is a little more confused and hesitant instead of threatening. He doesn't know if Changmin is just messing with him or actually looking for reassurance. If Jaejoong is a megaphone with no off button, Changmin would probably be the book with a blank cover and pages written in a language no one knows. "Yeah. Hey. When I come back and ask for something to eat, you're going to be able to offer something other than ramen or rice, right? Mr. Patissier." That may or may not be another word Yoochun thinks he knows how to use.

Changmin grins. "Pretty sure, yeah. Already planning out the celebratory dinner for when you guys get back."

"Should make crab. I love crab."

Changmin snorts and lifts himself up and off of Yoochun - Yoochun's a little glad, because it was getting hard to breathe. "I'll think about it. Are we done with our heart-to-heart, then? Jaejoong-hyung's making dinner and I'm missing out on taste samples." Changmin tugs at Yoochun's arm, urging him to get up. "C'mon, we'll go beg together. Combine our cute for maximum effect."

Yoochun stands up and looks at himself, then at Changmin. The mental images of what Jaejoong might do if he sees them aren't good. "Fuck that," he says, shoving Changmin towards the door. "You can go face umma's wrath by yourself. I'm taking a shower."

Changmin pauses, turning, and Yoochun catches the smug grin playing at his lips. "Won't be any wrath to face. Umma loves me best," he says, and disappears before Yoochun has a chance to say anything back.

Yoochun doesn't really mind. After all, he still has a precious seven months to seek revenge. He'll use it wisely.



Part 1b