I'm trying to lost my $hI# nor and I'm trying to not have a full blown panic attack.

Aug 28, 2011 19:24

So there are pieces that are going on, combined that are making me almost/want to/about to fall apart ( Read more... )

stress, tenant, married_life, shabbos, health, money, bitchy, depression, fear, tired, assholes, obscene, mundane, domestic, bored, loss, complicated, support, kvetch, house, snarky, mike

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Comments 7

courtney_ke August 29 2011, 00:11:20 UTC
I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this and Mike seems beyond oblivious :(

I hope you are able to catch up and heal with your Rebbeztein. I'd focus on healing YOURSELF about this miscarriage before trying to work out anything with your husband.

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yeishlitikvah August 29 2011, 02:04:09 UTC
He's a fucking idiot. In his perspective like I wasn't far along so it wasn't/isn't a big deal. But he seems to miss what a roller coaster I am on constantly. I've never been one of those girls who practically looks at a penis and BOOM! is pregnant. I am relatively ok with that.

You have to understand both you and another lj/fb friend had babies the same day. The week I had the miscarriage I had two lj/fb friends disclose pregnancies one public, one privately. and then I just found out last nite/today that one of my best friends is expecting, of course I found out via fb and not her telling me directly, but whatever.

I agree I need to heal. But in order for me to even focus I need to not feel like I am constantly fighting. I don't know whats bothering him, and he's not letting me in. It's hard enough he's unable/unwilling to meet my emotional needs right now. But him shutting me out, just freaks me out completely.

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yeishlitikvah August 29 2011, 02:57:51 UTC
Completely, I get it. And because it was REALLY early, it makes even less sense to him.

I realize storage buckets are the way to go for the basement. Shmuck's goal was to have the roughly 1,000 square feet, as his 'man hole' so he's bummed that his stuff got trashed.

Honestly, do you really need notes from college or law school? I get he's pissed about his 'man space'. I'm like good we can get storage shelves and I can store Pesach stuff down there.
I can store baby clothes down there.

His rational is OMG WE NEED TO MOVE. but what it would cost in moving, and what we'd lose in selling the house, is more than it would cost us to do fancy read expensive finishing/draining type things to the basement. you know those things that involve drilling and breaking up concrete.

I'm just so depleted from trying not to bash his skull in. I'm trying to be the adult. When I have mopey annoying husband and cranky toddler, who thinks I'm a beast from hell because I won't let her color on the walls and when she does I clean up her masterpiece

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yeishlitikvah August 29 2011, 14:56:47 UTC
My husband when he decided he was moving 'his room' upstairs, proceeded to set up his trophy collection. I don't mean those nice fancy ones you get for real competition, I mean those dinky ones they hand out at day camp and at little league and karate.

Honestly, I'm not a neat freak, mostly because cleaning makes me have panic attacks. However, my mess is mostly contained. I'm just depleted you know.

I'm just frustrated with his inability to communicate in a civil manner. I don't care if you tell me nicely, that you hate me. But yelling at me about flooding at the basement when you can't change it NOW won't do any good.

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aunt_becca August 29 2011, 14:36:05 UTC
what a difficult time you're having. And no, I don't think our husbands could ever really understand or grasp the idea of miscarriage, even if it's very early on. When you're head is a bit more clear, perhaps a conversation about Shabbat in Albany, and your feelings, is in order. I'm so sorry about everything.

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yeishlitikvah August 29 2011, 14:58:40 UTC
I'm frustrated and we haven't had any quiet time to spend together. You know.

I'm exhausted and depleted, and to add insult to fucking injury he taught Nechama over the weekend with the hand open and closing to go go 'wa, wa, wa'. So now I'm Charlie Brown's fucking teacher.

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butterflymama3 September 1 2011, 00:41:05 UTC
I'm sorry you had damage from Irene and that Mike is being an ass. (hugs)

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