Zany Golf
84 days until the vernal equinox
It's a Christmas miracle! Batch-uploading to imgur was succesful. With no blob!
I was reading a copy of Sega Genesis Secrets that someone uploaded to the Internet Archive ad found this. I played it as a young teenager who had access to an Apple II.
The intro screen is supposed to pan down but you don't really get that when taking screenshots.
.
.
Pad - Skill is unique to the Genesis version. I believe it changes the par for each course and that's it.
The Apple II version (along with Amiga, Atari ST, and MS-DOS) had a little graphic before each level, which was actually a loading screen in disguise. I guess they didn't need them on the Genesis version. But on the other hand, the level names are all alliterative here.
If you get the ball in the windmill…
It pops out of the house. You might but won’t necessarily score a hole in one.
Otherwise, it comes out of the lighthouse. I know it doesn't seem very zany yet but just you wait.
If you score under par, you get to keep the extra strokes for the next level.
You have to bounce off the ketchup bottle but you start on the leftmost pad and not the center one. It also doesn't help that unlike every other version, you use the control pad instead of a mouse and the cursor has blast processing on its blast processing.
Most of the versions look the same. The DOS version has a hideously oversaturated VGA palette but that's really the only graphical difference.
Bouncing the burger is actually really annoying.
The walls move up and down.
You can’t really see when the third wall is up or down. This was a problem in the Apple IIgs version as well.
Pinball’s probably the second hardest level. The problem is jank, of course.
You have to light up the three numbers and then get the ball in the hole. You may or may not score a hole in one.
Those objects outside the table are part of the EA logo.
Zany Golf is a game I haven’t thought about in 25 years, let alone played in 25 years, and I still remember the music for this stage.
More like Fickle Fans. To get the fans to work, you just have to press random directions on the d-pad. It’s possible to get a hole in one here but it’s not really worth the effort.
Sometimes there's a fairy on the playing field. If the ball touches it, you get extra strokes.
Or sometimes you get this.
There's an auditory cue but you can't actually see what's going on.
It comes out here and I think you can get a hole in one but it's extremely unlikely.
The hole moves horizontally.
In fact, you can score if the ball comes to a rest horizontal to the hole.
What the intro screen doesn’t tell you is that you have to knock out every block or else you just get kicked out and it resets.
I believe this level was called Mystery in every other version.
This is the secret level from every other version. They had to remove the flying carpet level because there was no way to get it to work with the genesis controller. Well, I say “flying carpet” but it was more like a checkered ground that allowed you to control the ball with the mouse.
Then you have to get through a checkerboard section and if the ball collides with a glowing square, you get sent back to square one. Well, square two, maybe, because it’s not the same square you actually end up on. Oh yeah, the glowing squares don’t have to be lit up to send you back.
You don't get a map here.
Not even Kim Jong Il could score a hole in one on this stage. It's literally impossible. You might get two if you're extremely lucky.
In the Apple II version, you had a weird sampled vocal or something. The lack of it is surprising because anyone who’s played Sonic 3 knows that it’s possible to include sampled vocals in the music.
If you get hit by the plasma cannon, it's back to start for you. Anyway, that mousehole over there, sometimes the eyes will turn from white to red.
In other versions, hit the ball in there after they do so and it will take you to the secret level.
After you get up to the upper level, there are a bunch of fake holes to avoid that send you back to ground level.
And this is your reward. The end. A scorecard. No fireworks. No “conglaturation.” Not even a “you’re winner.” Not even a stinking scorecard. Oh wait, the scorecard is what I’m so mad about in the first place.
burning question: how will Bonestorm help will your putting?
It's a Christmas miracle! Batch-uploading to imgur was succesful. With no blob!
I was reading a copy of Sega Genesis Secrets that someone uploaded to the Internet Archive ad found this. I played it as a young teenager who had access to an Apple II.
The intro screen is supposed to pan down but you don't really get that when taking screenshots.
.
.
Pad - Skill is unique to the Genesis version. I believe it changes the par for each course and that's it.
The Apple II version (along with Amiga, Atari ST, and MS-DOS) had a little graphic before each level, which was actually a loading screen in disguise. I guess they didn't need them on the Genesis version. But on the other hand, the level names are all alliterative here.
If you get the ball in the windmill…
It pops out of the house. You might but won’t necessarily score a hole in one.
Otherwise, it comes out of the lighthouse. I know it doesn't seem very zany yet but just you wait.
If you score under par, you get to keep the extra strokes for the next level.
You have to bounce off the ketchup bottle but you start on the leftmost pad and not the center one. It also doesn't help that unlike every other version, you use the control pad instead of a mouse and the cursor has blast processing on its blast processing.
Most of the versions look the same. The DOS version has a hideously oversaturated VGA palette but that's really the only graphical difference.
Bouncing the burger is actually really annoying.
The walls move up and down.
You can’t really see when the third wall is up or down. This was a problem in the Apple IIgs version as well.
Pinball’s probably the second hardest level. The problem is jank, of course.
You have to light up the three numbers and then get the ball in the hole. You may or may not score a hole in one.
Those objects outside the table are part of the EA logo.
Zany Golf is a game I haven’t thought about in 25 years, let alone played in 25 years, and I still remember the music for this stage.
More like Fickle Fans. To get the fans to work, you just have to press random directions on the d-pad. It’s possible to get a hole in one here but it’s not really worth the effort.
Sometimes there's a fairy on the playing field. If the ball touches it, you get extra strokes.
Or sometimes you get this.
There's an auditory cue but you can't actually see what's going on.
It comes out here and I think you can get a hole in one but it's extremely unlikely.
The hole moves horizontally.
In fact, you can score if the ball comes to a rest horizontal to the hole.
What the intro screen doesn’t tell you is that you have to knock out every block or else you just get kicked out and it resets.
I believe this level was called Mystery in every other version.
This is the secret level from every other version. They had to remove the flying carpet level because there was no way to get it to work with the genesis controller. Well, I say “flying carpet” but it was more like a checkered ground that allowed you to control the ball with the mouse.
Then you have to get through a checkerboard section and if the ball collides with a glowing square, you get sent back to square one. Well, square two, maybe, because it’s not the same square you actually end up on. Oh yeah, the glowing squares don’t have to be lit up to send you back.
You don't get a map here.
Not even Kim Jong Il could score a hole in one on this stage. It's literally impossible. You might get two if you're extremely lucky.
In the Apple II version, you had a weird sampled vocal or something. The lack of it is surprising because anyone who’s played Sonic 3 knows that it’s possible to include sampled vocals in the music.
If you get hit by the plasma cannon, it's back to start for you. Anyway, that mousehole over there, sometimes the eyes will turn from white to red.
In other versions, hit the ball in there after they do so and it will take you to the secret level.
After you get up to the upper level, there are a bunch of fake holes to avoid that send you back to ground level.
And this is your reward. The end. A scorecard. No fireworks. No “conglaturation.” Not even a “you’re winner.” Not even a stinking scorecard. Oh wait, the scorecard is what I’m so mad about in the first place.
burning question: how will Bonestorm help will your putting?