Comments | xoxocamp: week 2 / challenge 4

ifancycrush in xoxocamp

week 2 / challenge 4

Aug 04, 2013 01:22

Day of Challenge: week 2 / challenge 4
Pairing: Jongin/Kyungsoo
Rating: G
Genre: Romance
Length: 587 words
Summary/Warnings:

[prompt 6: write the fic backwards]

( Will Kyungsoo really be leaving again? )

pairing: jongin/kyungsoo, week 2, genre: romance, rating: g, !fanfic, author: ifancycrush, length: drabble

Comments 2

gokulex59 August 8 2013, 14:22:45 UTC

I like it. It's short and all, but I like the little details you drop then and there, for example the hint of a problem with Kyungsoo's family and their plans for their son.

Just a friendly advice though; in dialouges, instead of writing latter's actions beside former's speech, like how it is in the first part, try mentioning Person A's gestures on the same paragraph as Person A's speech. That way would clear those slight confusions that would distract the readers - but I am not trying to be offensive or look superior, I think you write much better than I do but figured out mentioning this wouldn't hurt.

Oh, and also... Is this story really backwards? It doesn't seem like so with the way Kyungsoo's departure is always in Jongin's mind, signaling the first event really occured first.

ifancycrush August 8 2013, 19:45:28 UTC

Thank you!
I'm really glad about that piece of advice, I'll pay attention to that from now on.
And thank you for complimenting me, you're way too nice!
Well, I wrote it backwards. I started at the end and the first sentences are what I wrote last.