[fic; 30emo] Sadame no Ito :: Tapestry
Title: Sadame no Ito :: Tapestry
Chapter: #10 of The Long Chain Cycle
Author: Cross (xmachina_writes)
Band/Pairing: DBSK
30emotions Prompt: #28: Shame
Rating: PG
Warnings: mild AUness?
Word Count: 2218
Summary: There is no going back, only moving forward.
Rewind: Long Chain - Fanboy - Encounter in Kyoto - Returning - Horizon - Grey Sky Morning - Rebound
Sadame no Ito :: Snapping Threads - Drop Spindle
Comments: After being stuck for several days with writer's block, I'm finally making progress again, so ... another fic for everyone to enjoy! ^_^
~*~*~
Changmin turned on his phone after breakfast, unsurprised at the number of missed calls. Ignoring his voicemail awhile longer, he decided he'd call Maya instead. Maybe he could still salvage his relationship with the other singer. Hell, Maya might even have some decent advice on what to do next with himself.
“Min-kun! Thank god, I was beginning to worry about you after the way Aiji turned up here yesterday looking like someone had shot his puppy or something. How are you? Are you okay? WHERE are you? Do you need me to come knock heads around??”
“No, I ... well ... maybe mine. I ... I told everyone that I'm quitting Tohoshinki.”
“Ehhhh?? Min-kun can't be serious!”
“I thought I was. It seemed so sensible, you know? Management threatened to pull me from the group already because of ... things. And the whole group dynamic's fucked right now anyway.... And I don't know if it even can be fixed, let alone how. This just ... he wants me to be something I'm not. I get making sacrifices for the sake of the group and all that, but....”
He was beginning to feel distinctly stupid and he couldn't even blame it on the heat of the moment. Everything that had sounded so perfectly sensible in his head sounded painfully trite and childish now that he'd spoken them aloud.
“I ... can you come get me, Mayatan? I can't stay here....”
“Of course, just as soon as Changmin-kun gives me di-.”
Changmin blinked as his phone was stolen out of his hand, watched as Tora took it for himself.
“Maya, it's Tora. Don't worry about Min-kun. If he's not staying, there's no sense in me or Pon staying here either, so we'll take care of him, okay? Talk to you later.”
He watched as Tora hung up his phone before handing it back to him, not surprised exactly but not sure what to think, either. They were his friends, not really knowing any of the others except through him, so it made sense that they'd leave when he did.
“The others....”
“Can stay here or find their own way back to the city. Since I don't figure they'll be too keen on riding back with us.”
“No, probably not,” Changmin agreed with a soft sigh. When had his life gotten so screwed up?
~*~*~
Changmin hadn't intended to fall asleep on the ride back, but the truth was he'd slept like shit the night before and, well, Tora made a surprisingly good pillow. One wouldn't know it to look at him, but it was true. The hair petting hadn't hurt anything, either.
“Mm, time to wake up, Min-kun.”
“Hnn? This doesn't look like my neighborhood....”
“That's because it isn't,” Hiroto said, turning around in the driver's seat to offer him a cheeky grin. “Figured we should offer you the choice of going on back to the apartment you guys share or spending a couple days with someone else. Not like your bag isn't packed for you to be away for a few days anyway.”
Changmin nodded, checking his phone out of habit rather than expectation. So he was surprised to see Jaejoong had sent him half a dozen near-frantic texts and even tried calling him once. Dialing the older man's number, he was inwardly amused that it took Jaejoong an entire two rings to answer the phone.
“You ... you ... where the fuck are you?? And why haven't you been answering me?!?”
“Sorry, Jae, I kinda ... fell asleep. I'm ... not sure where we are, actually. Tokyo, somewhere, I think. Um....”
“Shim Changmin, if you don't get your ass back to this apartment Right Now, I'm gonna ... I'm gonna....”
“Yessir, Yoochun-hyung,” Changmin replied, unable to keep himself from smiling at the way Yoochun had so easily stolen Jaejoong's phone. “As soon as possible.”
“Sooner, if you know what's good for you,” Yoochun muttered. “Here's umma back.”
“Umma....”
“Sooner would be better, but I know it'll take time. How long?”
“Dunno. I'll text you when I know for sure?”
“All right, I suppose that's fair enough. See you when you get here.”
That had been almost too easy, the way Jaejoong hadn't insisted immediately on more precise answers to his questions. Unless it meant Yunho was still mad at him.
“So ... what's the verdict?”
“Hmm? Oh....” Of course neither Hiroto nor Tora would have any idea what Changmin had been saying, not knowing Korean. “Thank you for everything, but I need to go back to the apartment.”
“You're sure?”
“Aa, I'm sure. Thank you.”
A shared shrug and then Hiroto was turning back around, aiming the van towards Changmin's home away from home. He really did appreciate his friends' willingness to take him in without question or warning, but if Jaejoong was worrying about him.... For one thing, that probably meant the eldest member wasn't bent on treating him like garbage anymore. It could also mean the rest of the band was willing, perhaps even eager, to sit down and figure out some solution to this entire mess. And that could only be a good thing. Almost as good as the fingers carding through his hair, encouraging him towards sleep again. Hadn't he just been napping? Then again, more sleep probably couldn't hurt anything. They tended to get so little of it so much of the time....
~*~*~
Once more, Changmin felt himself being gently nudged awake, Tora's voice murmuring that he was home. Maybe it should have worried him that he was able to fall so completely asleep in what couldn't have been more than a twenty minute drive, but he just didn't have it in him to be that bothered by it. Sleep was sleep and the more he could get now, while he had the chance, the more his body would appreciate it later, when he didn't.
“Thanks, guys. For everything. I hope this whole mess doesn't end up getting you guys in trouble, too.”
“Oh I suppose someone might feel obligated to give us a slap on the wrist for contributing to the deliquency of a minor, but other than that.... Yeah, not really worried about it,” Tora said, chuckling.
“Everything's going to be fine, you'll see,” Hiroto added, nodding a little. And then the blond was ducking out of the van. Another nudge from the older man he'd been using as a pillow and Changmin slid out of the vehicle, feeling oddly reluctant to leave their support. Of course they couldn't go up to the apartment with him, it was ridiculous of him to feel so clingy, but he couldn't deny that a part of him was still afraid of what he was about to face. Admitting he had been wrong was always so hard, especially when he was going to have to make sure they understood that his only regret was how he had acted the last couple of days and not his relationship with Aiji. Even though things hadn't worked out the way he would have liked, he would never regret that short time he and Aiji had been together, however dysfunctional their relationship had been.
“If you need anything ...,” Tora started, trailing off with a half shrug.
“Seriously,” Hiroto added, practically glomping onto him. “Any time, just give us a ring.”
“Thanks, guys, I appreciate it,” Changmin mumbled, embarrassment licking at him. He wanted to tell them not to worry, that everything was fine. But he knew those words would just be echoes of Hiroto's own claims, ones he wasn't entirely sure he believed, given voice only to try to reassure the two men before him. A silly sentiment, since they weren't the ones about to face the wrath of Jaejoong. They were just the ones sending him off to do such things, Hiroto watching him with such puppy dog eyes it was almost surreal. Sigh.
“I'll call later, Pon, promise,” he soothed, forcing himself to take a step back, to turn around and head up to the apartment. Putting things off wouldn't change anything ... except to agitate Yoochun and Jaejoong.
“Well it's about time you got here.”
“Sorry, Yoochun-hyung, we were kinda across town when I got umma's messages.”
“You were supposed to text us and let us know how long it was going to take,” Yoochun continued and Changmin felt himself giving in to a guilty blush at the way the other man was pouting at him.
“Ah, well, um, I didn't recognize the neighborhood we were in and they weren't sure how long it would take to get from there to here. And then I sorta fell asleep.” Pathetic, really. And from the look on Yoochun's face, he could tell the other man wasn't exactly buying into it.
“Minnie-yah....”
“I really did fall asleep. Twice. You know how much we haven't been getting good sleep lately and you know what happens when I'm in a car for very long. Especially if there's someone to lean against.”
“All right, well.... Umma and appa should be back soon; they went to get some stuff for dinner. You, sir, are going to plant your butt on that couch and not go anywhere until further notice,” Yoochun declared, nodding slightly in that self-satisfied way that meant he thought this discussion completed.
“Can I at least go pee first, jailer-sshi?”
“Yes ... but only because umma would kill us both if you pissed on the couch!”
Changmin didn't know whether to laugh or roll his eyes, settling for the latter as he trudged off towards the bathroom. Idiot. Although he supposed there were worse tortures in the world than being in the same room as Junsu while his hyung struggled with FIFA World Cup 2007. For someone who loved soccer and video games, it was almost sad to see him having such a hard time with that game. But really, how hard could it be? A question he decided to keep to himself, lest Junsu decide to make him play as well. Such things never ended well.
“Min! You brat, do you have any idea how worried I was!”
“Not so worried you couldn't still go get groceries for dinner,” Changmin noted dryly, though he couldn't resist the smile that crawled across his face. Probably the only thing that kept him from being kicked in certain tender places, from the momentary dark look that crossed Jaejoong's face. A huff and then Jaejoong was crossing his arms over his chest, mock-glaring at him.
“You're not the only one who needs to eat on occassion, Shim Changmin. And I can't feed us on worry.”
“Sorry, umma. Can I get up off the couch now?”
“Ehh??”
“Chunnie said Min couldn't move from the couch until he was told otherwise,” Junsu said, not even glancing away from the screen for a second.
“Yes, yes, of course,” Jaejoong said with an almost negligent wave, though Changmin could tell the eldest was still confused. He didn't bother explaining himself, instead opting to get up and just hug the other man. A moment of startled stiffness and then Jaejoong was returning it, inching closer and resting his head on Changmin's shoulder.
“I'm sorry, Jae-hyung.”
“For?”
“For making you worry, for threatening to quit. For telling Yunho-hyung we'd slept together.”
“He was going to find out about it sooner or later and no matter how he heard it, it'd still have hurt him,” the older man murmured, pressing slightly closer and squeezing gently. Changmin recognized an attempt at distracting him away from the topic when he saw one, but he couldn't let go of things so easily.
“But it might have hurt less coming from you.”
“Doubt it,” Jaejoong replied, snorting slightly. “Hell, hearing it from me probably would have hurt him even worse. Not that your method was, ah, particularly ideal, just....”
“But it's better now? Yoochun-hyung said the two of you were out together....”
“Well ... it's not perfect, but....” Jaejoong shrugged as he stepped back, a move Changmin only allowed for a beat before pulling the other man into another close hug. A moment of resistance and then Jaejoong was snuggling into his arms with a heavy sigh. “It's ... well ... you know how he is. Even if he's still not happy, he wouldn't just let me go to the store by myself.”
“True. Guess I'm just surprised he didn't, like, send Yoochun or Junsu with you if he really is still mad.”
“You know how he is,” Jaejoong repeated. And there was truth enough to that; Yunho took the safety of his bandmates very personally, especially since the antifan incident. Yunho was not the sort to ever let his personal feelings interfere in what he saw as his duty to the group. Unlike some people.
“Are you su-,” but the words never finished, two fingers pressing to his lips as Jaejoong looked up at him with a very serious expression on his face.
“Help me with dinner and I'll call that your penance for making me worry. As for the rest, well ... we'll think of something. He can't stay mad forever.”
Changmin nodded, though he wasn't worried about Yunho still being mad. Yunho wasn't the type to hang on to his anger, not like that, anyway. His hurt, on the other hand.... That would be the difficult part, he was sure. And he didn't have a clue how to go about fixing it.
Chapter: #10 of The Long Chain Cycle
Author: Cross (xmachina_writes)
Band/Pairing: DBSK
30emotions Prompt: #28: Shame
Rating: PG
Warnings: mild AUness?
Word Count: 2218
Summary: There is no going back, only moving forward.
Rewind: Long Chain - Fanboy - Encounter in Kyoto - Returning - Horizon - Grey Sky Morning - Rebound
Sadame no Ito :: Snapping Threads - Drop Spindle
Comments: After being stuck for several days with writer's block, I'm finally making progress again, so ... another fic for everyone to enjoy! ^_^
~*~*~
Changmin turned on his phone after breakfast, unsurprised at the number of missed calls. Ignoring his voicemail awhile longer, he decided he'd call Maya instead. Maybe he could still salvage his relationship with the other singer. Hell, Maya might even have some decent advice on what to do next with himself.
“Min-kun! Thank god, I was beginning to worry about you after the way Aiji turned up here yesterday looking like someone had shot his puppy or something. How are you? Are you okay? WHERE are you? Do you need me to come knock heads around??”
“No, I ... well ... maybe mine. I ... I told everyone that I'm quitting Tohoshinki.”
“Ehhhh?? Min-kun can't be serious!”
“I thought I was. It seemed so sensible, you know? Management threatened to pull me from the group already because of ... things. And the whole group dynamic's fucked right now anyway.... And I don't know if it even can be fixed, let alone how. This just ... he wants me to be something I'm not. I get making sacrifices for the sake of the group and all that, but....”
He was beginning to feel distinctly stupid and he couldn't even blame it on the heat of the moment. Everything that had sounded so perfectly sensible in his head sounded painfully trite and childish now that he'd spoken them aloud.
“I ... can you come get me, Mayatan? I can't stay here....”
“Of course, just as soon as Changmin-kun gives me di-.”
Changmin blinked as his phone was stolen out of his hand, watched as Tora took it for himself.
“Maya, it's Tora. Don't worry about Min-kun. If he's not staying, there's no sense in me or Pon staying here either, so we'll take care of him, okay? Talk to you later.”
He watched as Tora hung up his phone before handing it back to him, not surprised exactly but not sure what to think, either. They were his friends, not really knowing any of the others except through him, so it made sense that they'd leave when he did.
“The others....”
“Can stay here or find their own way back to the city. Since I don't figure they'll be too keen on riding back with us.”
“No, probably not,” Changmin agreed with a soft sigh. When had his life gotten so screwed up?
~*~*~
Changmin hadn't intended to fall asleep on the ride back, but the truth was he'd slept like shit the night before and, well, Tora made a surprisingly good pillow. One wouldn't know it to look at him, but it was true. The hair petting hadn't hurt anything, either.
“Mm, time to wake up, Min-kun.”
“Hnn? This doesn't look like my neighborhood....”
“That's because it isn't,” Hiroto said, turning around in the driver's seat to offer him a cheeky grin. “Figured we should offer you the choice of going on back to the apartment you guys share or spending a couple days with someone else. Not like your bag isn't packed for you to be away for a few days anyway.”
Changmin nodded, checking his phone out of habit rather than expectation. So he was surprised to see Jaejoong had sent him half a dozen near-frantic texts and even tried calling him once. Dialing the older man's number, he was inwardly amused that it took Jaejoong an entire two rings to answer the phone.
“You ... you ... where the fuck are you?? And why haven't you been answering me?!?”
“Sorry, Jae, I kinda ... fell asleep. I'm ... not sure where we are, actually. Tokyo, somewhere, I think. Um....”
“Shim Changmin, if you don't get your ass back to this apartment Right Now, I'm gonna ... I'm gonna....”
“Yessir, Yoochun-hyung,” Changmin replied, unable to keep himself from smiling at the way Yoochun had so easily stolen Jaejoong's phone. “As soon as possible.”
“Sooner, if you know what's good for you,” Yoochun muttered. “Here's umma back.”
“Umma....”
“Sooner would be better, but I know it'll take time. How long?”
“Dunno. I'll text you when I know for sure?”
“All right, I suppose that's fair enough. See you when you get here.”
That had been almost too easy, the way Jaejoong hadn't insisted immediately on more precise answers to his questions. Unless it meant Yunho was still mad at him.
“So ... what's the verdict?”
“Hmm? Oh....” Of course neither Hiroto nor Tora would have any idea what Changmin had been saying, not knowing Korean. “Thank you for everything, but I need to go back to the apartment.”
“You're sure?”
“Aa, I'm sure. Thank you.”
A shared shrug and then Hiroto was turning back around, aiming the van towards Changmin's home away from home. He really did appreciate his friends' willingness to take him in without question or warning, but if Jaejoong was worrying about him.... For one thing, that probably meant the eldest member wasn't bent on treating him like garbage anymore. It could also mean the rest of the band was willing, perhaps even eager, to sit down and figure out some solution to this entire mess. And that could only be a good thing. Almost as good as the fingers carding through his hair, encouraging him towards sleep again. Hadn't he just been napping? Then again, more sleep probably couldn't hurt anything. They tended to get so little of it so much of the time....
~*~*~
Once more, Changmin felt himself being gently nudged awake, Tora's voice murmuring that he was home. Maybe it should have worried him that he was able to fall so completely asleep in what couldn't have been more than a twenty minute drive, but he just didn't have it in him to be that bothered by it. Sleep was sleep and the more he could get now, while he had the chance, the more his body would appreciate it later, when he didn't.
“Thanks, guys. For everything. I hope this whole mess doesn't end up getting you guys in trouble, too.”
“Oh I suppose someone might feel obligated to give us a slap on the wrist for contributing to the deliquency of a minor, but other than that.... Yeah, not really worried about it,” Tora said, chuckling.
“Everything's going to be fine, you'll see,” Hiroto added, nodding a little. And then the blond was ducking out of the van. Another nudge from the older man he'd been using as a pillow and Changmin slid out of the vehicle, feeling oddly reluctant to leave their support. Of course they couldn't go up to the apartment with him, it was ridiculous of him to feel so clingy, but he couldn't deny that a part of him was still afraid of what he was about to face. Admitting he had been wrong was always so hard, especially when he was going to have to make sure they understood that his only regret was how he had acted the last couple of days and not his relationship with Aiji. Even though things hadn't worked out the way he would have liked, he would never regret that short time he and Aiji had been together, however dysfunctional their relationship had been.
“If you need anything ...,” Tora started, trailing off with a half shrug.
“Seriously,” Hiroto added, practically glomping onto him. “Any time, just give us a ring.”
“Thanks, guys, I appreciate it,” Changmin mumbled, embarrassment licking at him. He wanted to tell them not to worry, that everything was fine. But he knew those words would just be echoes of Hiroto's own claims, ones he wasn't entirely sure he believed, given voice only to try to reassure the two men before him. A silly sentiment, since they weren't the ones about to face the wrath of Jaejoong. They were just the ones sending him off to do such things, Hiroto watching him with such puppy dog eyes it was almost surreal. Sigh.
“I'll call later, Pon, promise,” he soothed, forcing himself to take a step back, to turn around and head up to the apartment. Putting things off wouldn't change anything ... except to agitate Yoochun and Jaejoong.
“Well it's about time you got here.”
“Sorry, Yoochun-hyung, we were kinda across town when I got umma's messages.”
“You were supposed to text us and let us know how long it was going to take,” Yoochun continued and Changmin felt himself giving in to a guilty blush at the way the other man was pouting at him.
“Ah, well, um, I didn't recognize the neighborhood we were in and they weren't sure how long it would take to get from there to here. And then I sorta fell asleep.” Pathetic, really. And from the look on Yoochun's face, he could tell the other man wasn't exactly buying into it.
“Minnie-yah....”
“I really did fall asleep. Twice. You know how much we haven't been getting good sleep lately and you know what happens when I'm in a car for very long. Especially if there's someone to lean against.”
“All right, well.... Umma and appa should be back soon; they went to get some stuff for dinner. You, sir, are going to plant your butt on that couch and not go anywhere until further notice,” Yoochun declared, nodding slightly in that self-satisfied way that meant he thought this discussion completed.
“Can I at least go pee first, jailer-sshi?”
“Yes ... but only because umma would kill us both if you pissed on the couch!”
Changmin didn't know whether to laugh or roll his eyes, settling for the latter as he trudged off towards the bathroom. Idiot. Although he supposed there were worse tortures in the world than being in the same room as Junsu while his hyung struggled with FIFA World Cup 2007. For someone who loved soccer and video games, it was almost sad to see him having such a hard time with that game. But really, how hard could it be? A question he decided to keep to himself, lest Junsu decide to make him play as well. Such things never ended well.
“Min! You brat, do you have any idea how worried I was!”
“Not so worried you couldn't still go get groceries for dinner,” Changmin noted dryly, though he couldn't resist the smile that crawled across his face. Probably the only thing that kept him from being kicked in certain tender places, from the momentary dark look that crossed Jaejoong's face. A huff and then Jaejoong was crossing his arms over his chest, mock-glaring at him.
“You're not the only one who needs to eat on occassion, Shim Changmin. And I can't feed us on worry.”
“Sorry, umma. Can I get up off the couch now?”
“Ehh??”
“Chunnie said Min couldn't move from the couch until he was told otherwise,” Junsu said, not even glancing away from the screen for a second.
“Yes, yes, of course,” Jaejoong said with an almost negligent wave, though Changmin could tell the eldest was still confused. He didn't bother explaining himself, instead opting to get up and just hug the other man. A moment of startled stiffness and then Jaejoong was returning it, inching closer and resting his head on Changmin's shoulder.
“I'm sorry, Jae-hyung.”
“For?”
“For making you worry, for threatening to quit. For telling Yunho-hyung we'd slept together.”
“He was going to find out about it sooner or later and no matter how he heard it, it'd still have hurt him,” the older man murmured, pressing slightly closer and squeezing gently. Changmin recognized an attempt at distracting him away from the topic when he saw one, but he couldn't let go of things so easily.
“But it might have hurt less coming from you.”
“Doubt it,” Jaejoong replied, snorting slightly. “Hell, hearing it from me probably would have hurt him even worse. Not that your method was, ah, particularly ideal, just....”
“But it's better now? Yoochun-hyung said the two of you were out together....”
“Well ... it's not perfect, but....” Jaejoong shrugged as he stepped back, a move Changmin only allowed for a beat before pulling the other man into another close hug. A moment of resistance and then Jaejoong was snuggling into his arms with a heavy sigh. “It's ... well ... you know how he is. Even if he's still not happy, he wouldn't just let me go to the store by myself.”
“True. Guess I'm just surprised he didn't, like, send Yoochun or Junsu with you if he really is still mad.”
“You know how he is,” Jaejoong repeated. And there was truth enough to that; Yunho took the safety of his bandmates very personally, especially since the antifan incident. Yunho was not the sort to ever let his personal feelings interfere in what he saw as his duty to the group. Unlike some people.
“Are you su-,” but the words never finished, two fingers pressing to his lips as Jaejoong looked up at him with a very serious expression on his face.
“Help me with dinner and I'll call that your penance for making me worry. As for the rest, well ... we'll think of something. He can't stay mad forever.”
Changmin nodded, though he wasn't worried about Yunho still being mad. Yunho wasn't the type to hang on to his anger, not like that, anyway. His hurt, on the other hand.... That would be the difficult part, he was sure. And he didn't have a clue how to go about fixing it.