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[xjollyrogerx]

night number 2 of balling my eyes out. and i have to be at work in 15 minutes.
great.

Comments

[purplelilhippo]

awww no balling. r u okay?

[xjollyrogerx]

not really. i have a lot of questions floating around in my head. a lot of pain. a lot of unexplained shit. i hate it.
yeah, it's about brisa.

[purplelilhippo]

awww i'm sorry dear.
i hope some day soon it'll all be okay one way or another.

[punkrockvirgin]

Yeah what the hell is up?

[xjollyrogerx]

i am trying to cope with/ figure out why if i was supposed to have been the one who has loved brisa more than anyone else ever has, if i was the guy who made her realize for the first time what love really was, if i was the guy who she couldn't write off as just another expereince, if i was the guy who she wasn't ok with being a chapter in her life, if i was the guy who she told at one of the lowest points between us out of no where, "just you wait, i'm going to marry you some day.", if i was the guy who she told that she could sit on a bed with aubry and megan and tell them that she knew i was the one for her even before we where going out, if i was the one who changed her intire life just because she was with me (for the better, all the way), if i am the one she truly loved, then why the fuck has she given up on all of it? why has it all faded away? why is it so easy for her to find comfort when i'm completely destroyed? why is it that i keep holding on to a ghost of what was supposably "forever"? why is it that i feel like i

[punkrockvirgin]

Sometimes special words turn out to be just words

[xjollyrogerx]

all good thoughts.

i just want to understand all of this so that i can be at peace with it and move on.