Sometimes I’m agonisingly naïve. I was toddling along quite happily through my life, yet somehow I was looking on at something I wanted. The life I wanted. The person I wanted to be
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An uneducated, homosexual porn reading/writing/roleplaying, arrogant, imbecile of a wannabe rebel hormone bomb. You are. But thats what makes you, you. I love you KayKay. I dont know what to say to this... really there's nothing I CAN say because nothing is going to make you feel better, but I can try right?!
I'm just some stupid American girl you met on the internet. Through an RP for that matter! But I know that you are WAY more than you give yourself credit for. You're beautiful and smart and so caring. If I can tell all of that through a computer screen, surely someone that lives with you can! I have never been homeschooled and I dont really know what you're talking about, but you are not uneducated. There are plenty of things that you still need to learn, sure. But hell, everyone needs to learn more. I'm a senior in highschool. This is my last year of school and I still have TONS to learn. Aaah now I'm rambling on about myself and I didnt want to do that. Uhm. I'm gonna close this here and go hide under a rock. ♥
And you HAVE made me feel better. What you say means a lot to me, so thank you, so much.
Homeschooling is.. a.. frustrating issue =P It's very chaotic, very messy, very nasteh for someone as obsessive as me.
You're very right.. learning is such a constant process. I just pray to all those skanky Gods I fear so desperately that I know at least enough to scrape passed my exams xD
I wanted to be eloquent and say something absolutely beautiful to you, but words seem to evade me when it comes to you.
I know we haven't know each other long, and maybe I'm insane, but I feel a connection with you. I feel safe. Which is so stupid considering there's some freakin' oceans and countries between us, but you make me feel better.
I don't know, but I think every teenager is a cliche. No matter what you've got going on, you've got to be a cliche in some way, right?
But I think you're unique. Your 'cliche' is different because you can identify with it, and you can accept you, and you can say 'fuck this, I want out'. I'm so intensely proud of you.
Ugh, this has probably come out intensely stalkerish/non-verbal, but you have that effect on me.
You have said something as eloquent and beautiful as can be, and I am forever grateful for it.
It's not insane, since I can assure you those feelings are entirely mutual. You don't need to know someone for years on end to have a connection with them. There's a comfort with you, I find you easy to talk to, even about random crap. You can make my day seem a bit better, and that's a great skill to have.
And you're perfectly right! I was thinking about this, probably far too deeply, and I realised what I said before. That a cliche is something that's over used. So matter how invidivual a person is, most of our situations and hormonal reactions are the same, forcing us to behave in a similar way.
Thank you so much, sweetheart. Once again, you have made me feel better, and you have made me think.
O_O That scareh. I was caught between thinking my parents were either the only ones like them in the world, or exactly the same as everyone else, 'cept I don't notice it.
It sucks so hardcore. I feel bad for my dad, because he takes a lot of crap to, and then when I get it, I act out and make his situation even worse. Urgh.
My parents don't sound much like yours at all, but I feel I can definately relate to this. I am a teenager after all. ;p
But really, while you may think you fit disgustingly well into the teenage stereotype - and you may well do - it's probably not as well as you think. I don't know you, and I'm probably intruding and overstepping the mark by even replying to this but sometimes you just need to offer your two-cents anyway. I'm sick of being too scared to communicate with people, ha.
You seem to have this objective, calculating view on everything. You know how to articulate what you're feeling. You can accept that when you're unhappy with a situation, it's not always other people's fault; it's also to at least some extent your own. You do not come off as arrogant at all. Like it's been said, the simple fact that you can identify the fact that you need to change seperates you from the stereotype. You seem very intelligent and self-aware; you're not coming on Live Journal and screaming and bitching and whining and all of those other
( ... )
Don't you DARE think you're intruding, sweetheart. I put this in my journal and you on my friend's list because I trust and value your thoughts and opinions ::loves on:: I understand your fear of communication entirely, so please, if you have something to say, never hesitate to say it.
Thank you so much... I've always seen those things as faults rather than qualities. Being so self deprecating kinda contradicts with my intense vanity. My ideas about myself are so warped, but I'm only just discovering that xD So now I need to figure out what I really am.
I agree with you in all entirety. That feeling of actually dragging myself out of the dark.. the hope for that feeling. That's the thing keeping me going.
Once again, thank you! ♥ I love hearing from you, m'love.
Argh...I feel so inadequate compared to everyone else who's commented (not to mention redundant). But....
I've come to the conclusion that if reading and writing homosexual porn makes us feel better then fuck it, we deserve at least something right? Seeing "Every once of vanity, major-lack-of-depth, whininess, emoness, wrist slitting-ness, music-loving-ness… it’s all there. I’m every fucking teenage stereotype there is and it’s quite simply dismaying. made me sit and think, and realize that there's no use denying I'm probably no different, but we're all a product of society and all the crap that people pile on us and we've got way too much to be dismayed about to pile even more on it
( ... )
Shhhh. Your comment is just as important and helpful to me =)
You're making perfect sense. The stuff that we're given makes us who we are, and we're all given the same stuff. Instead of worrying about that AND the person it's turning us into, we should concentrate on other things.
The calm after the storm is always worse than the calm before the storm >.< It's so fake, it actually hurts. It makes me cringe inside. At least when we're all screaming and swearing it's honest.
Thank you for making me feel like I'm not so alone, and that I'm actually understood ^^
Comments 13
You are. But thats what makes you, you.
I love you KayKay.
I dont know what to say to this... really there's nothing I CAN say because nothing is going to make you feel better, but I can try right?!
I'm just some stupid American girl you met on the internet. Through an RP for that matter! But I know that you are WAY more than you give yourself credit for.
You're beautiful and smart and so caring. If I can tell all of that through a computer screen, surely someone that lives with you can!
I have never been homeschooled and I dont really know what you're talking about, but you are not uneducated. There are plenty of things that you still need to learn, sure. But hell, everyone needs to learn more. I'm a senior in highschool. This is my last year of school and I still have TONS to learn.
Aaah now I'm rambling on about myself and I didnt want to do that. Uhm. I'm gonna close this here and go hide under a rock.
♥
Reply
And you HAVE made me feel better. What you say means a lot to me, so thank you, so much.
Homeschooling is.. a.. frustrating issue =P It's very chaotic, very messy, very nasteh for someone as obsessive as me.
You're very right.. learning is such a constant process. I just pray to all those skanky Gods I fear so desperately that I know at least enough to scrape passed my exams xD
I luff yew.
No rocks.
Cuddles!
♥
Reply
I know we haven't know each other long, and maybe I'm insane, but I feel a connection with you. I feel safe. Which is so stupid considering there's some freakin' oceans and countries between us, but you make me feel better.
I don't know, but I think every teenager is a cliche. No matter what you've got going on, you've got to be a cliche in some way, right?
But I think you're unique. Your 'cliche' is different because you can identify with it, and you can accept you, and you can say 'fuck this, I want out'. I'm so intensely proud of you.
Ugh, this has probably come out intensely stalkerish/non-verbal, but you have that effect on me.
I love you, Kay.
Reply
It's not insane, since I can assure you those feelings are entirely mutual. You don't need to know someone for years on end to have a connection with them. There's a comfort with you, I find you easy to talk to, even about random crap. You can make my day seem a bit better, and that's a great skill to have.
And you're perfectly right! I was thinking about this, probably far too deeply, and I realised what I said before. That a cliche is something that's over used. So matter how invidivual a person is, most of our situations and hormonal reactions are the same, forcing us to behave in a similar way.
Thank you so much, sweetheart. Once again, you have made me feel better, and you have made me think.
I love you too, Jenna.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
It sucks so hardcore. I feel bad for my dad, because he takes a lot of crap to, and then when I get it, I act out and make his situation even worse. Urgh.
BUT YAY TO THE SMUT! MY CONSTANT COMPANION!
Thank you for showing me someone understands =)
Reply
But really, while you may think you fit disgustingly well into the teenage stereotype - and you may well do - it's probably not as well as you think. I don't know you, and I'm probably intruding and overstepping the mark by even replying to this but sometimes you just need to offer your two-cents anyway. I'm sick of being too scared to communicate with people, ha.
You seem to have this objective, calculating view on everything. You know how to articulate what you're feeling. You can accept that when you're unhappy with a situation, it's not always other people's fault; it's also to at least some extent your own. You do not come off as arrogant at all. Like it's been said, the simple fact that you can identify the fact that you need to change seperates you from the stereotype. You seem very intelligent and self-aware; you're not coming on Live Journal and screaming and bitching and whining and all of those other ( ... )
Reply
Thank you so much... I've always seen those things as faults rather than qualities. Being so self deprecating kinda contradicts with my intense vanity. My ideas about myself are so warped, but I'm only just discovering that xD So now I need to figure out what I really am.
I agree with you in all entirety. That feeling of actually dragging myself out of the dark.. the hope for that feeling. That's the thing keeping me going.
Once again, thank you! ♥ I love hearing from you, m'love.
Reply
I've come to the conclusion that if reading and writing homosexual porn makes us feel better
then fuck it, we deserve at least something right? Seeing "Every once of vanity, major-lack-of-depth, whininess, emoness, wrist slitting-ness, music-loving-ness… it’s all there. I’m every fucking teenage stereotype there is and it’s quite simply dismaying. made me sit and think, and realize that there's no use denying I'm probably no different, but we're all a product of society and all the crap that people pile on us and we've got way too much to be dismayed about to pile even more on it ( ... )
Reply
You're making perfect sense. The stuff that we're given makes us who we are, and we're all given the same stuff. Instead of worrying about that AND the person it's turning us into, we should concentrate on other things.
The calm after the storm is always worse than the calm before the storm >.< It's so fake, it actually hurts. It makes me cringe inside. At least when we're all screaming and swearing it's honest.
Thank you for making me feel like I'm not so alone, and that I'm actually understood ^^
♥ ♥
Reply
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