[text, filtered from anyone who doesn't want it]

[freedomthat]

The United States Department of Homeland Security cordially invites you to a dinner and silent auction. The auction is a fundraiser to benefit the expanding Long Range Division, a unit dedicated to protecting the borders of both our country and our world.

The auction will take place in a couple of weeks' time, at a location yet to be determined due

Comments

[nightflowering]

O my darlings, you know I'd love to be there in person, but it's just not possible. Would it be a terrible imposition if I was allowed to bid remotely?

[freedomthat]

You are never an imposition. Would you like a list uploaded of items for bid?

[nightflowering]

I would like that very much.

[one_drafted_man]

(The text message initially comes in a bit garbled and glitchy, but fortunately Xanadu intervenes and cleans it up in place.)

Oh, how tempting would it be to see if I could shuffle over some samples and such from the stuff I'm currently involved in to get auctioned off for sweet sweet cash? So tempting, but I'm pretty sure that my own spookshow handlers would frown on that. They may even be frowning right now, though if so, they're at least being polite and not being obvious about tapping my feed.

(On which note, I assume you know where you're transmitting to, so please tell me that your protecting your country/world doesn't involve actively spookshow-ing into the Nexus/Xanadu?)

Also, I'd definitely want a large portion of the take, and I'm guessing that doesn't work very well with your fund-raising aims.

[freedomthat]

Yes, I know where I'm transmitting to. This was merely a way to make an announcement and reach individuals to whom I don't otherwise have access.

As long as you didn't intend on taking in all of the profits we would be willing to negotiate. I also don't know where you are, but that might make some kind of difference to you because of the exchange rate.

[one_drafted_man]

Oh, good. I work pretty hard to keep my own spookshow (United Nations Space Command, Office of Naval Intelligence) from messing around in the Nexus, so it'd make me sad to see someone else making a play.

I'm pretty familiar with the multiversal exchange rate/market -- you'd be amazed how much $20 of random 21st century Earth USA money translates to in 34th century United Earth Government Credits if you shuffle through enough/the right places along the way. Hm. I may see if there's anything from Xen that I can talk my handlers into freeing up for sale. No headcrabs, though; I have a strict No Proliferating Things That Make Zombies policy.

[freedomthat]

I would be happy to oversee the sale and return your cut on my end, but you'll have to do any shuffling yourself I'm afraid.

Thank you for your consideration, we'd prefer to keep zombies to a minimum. Obvious appearance aside, I'm sure someone out there would think the headcrab would make a lovely family pet.

[unbornlotus]

One painting, by an up and coming artist who has already had one hit show at the Arthur Sultan gallery, will be donated.

[freedomthat]

Thank you very much on behalf of the LRD. Is this to be considered an RSVP as well?

[unbornlotus]

With bells on. Everyone will know I'm coming around. Might disrupt the silence.

[freedomthat]

As long as the bells meet the dress code I fail to see a problem.

[partprecipitate]

I'm going to be donating a lot of fucking microscopes.

And other lab equipment.

But mostly a ton of fucking microscopes.

[freedomthat]

We would be more than happy with any contribution you can make, Dr. Moore. Though don't be surprised if the microscopes are described in a somewhat more flattering way.