Oh man. I don't think I need to tell you how much this hurt, but it did.
I truly didn't expect it to take the turn into angst that it did; given the underlying angst thread that runs through the whole series, that's saying something.
I'm worry I made you cry, however. *hugs*
I know you were worried about the bondage scene, but I think your fears were misplaced.
There was a lot of back and forth between myself and folks regarding the psychology of the scene. I did it specifically to show trust because, let's face it, the two characters in question don't talk as often as they should about the "important" things. And both are very physical characters.
Although, the secret here is: My biggest fear was Dean's confession at the end of the scene. I was worried that it would be viewed as a huge cliche but every beta agreed it was so very Dean to say exactly what he said in that moment. (And very psychologically telling, when you look at it from that view...)
Dude. Only you could make something so hot and so painful at the same time. God, I wanted to cry for Penny when her dad was saying all those things. And then when she threw the rope at Dean...oh my my.
I just want to spoil them both and feed them chicken soup and cuddle with them under the covers.
This more than lived up to expectations, B. I can't wait to see what you come up with next!
Dude. Only you could make something so hot and so painful at the same time.
*pets*
I'm still worried about it, between the length and a lot of the subject matter. Folks expecting "Gobsmacked" might be disappointed in this installment but...we only write what the muses desire, no? ;-P
I just want to spoil them both and feed them chicken soup and cuddle with them under the covers.
See, if I were in that position, there wouldn't be much cuddling...
Ahem.
People really should listen when I say that Dean is my Mary Sue. (*hee*)
This more than lived up to expectations, B. I can't wait to see what you come up with next!
Excellent! I confess that I didn't want it to be this huge let-down in the end, since I hyped it up so much and then lost momentum in the story by not writing anything in it for almost three months. *weeps*
You were right; the angst is strong in this one, Luke. But it works, it's very necessary. I liked it.
Penny, man. Oh, Penny. What did you do to yourself, girlie. I really enjoy how you work out your OFCs, 'cause it almost never happens that I read an SPN story in which I find myself loving and rooting for characters whose last names aren't Winchester. And it usually only ever happens with OCs when they're ones YOU have brought to life; I appreciated the Penny-angst here just as much as I did the Dean-angst 'cause you made it plausible, you gave her real issues and imperfections that work well when you have your characters crashing around as separate individuals but work especially well when you have them crashing together. They're like this completely dysfunctional yet perfect circle.
And geez, that bondage scene, B. With the knife hilt! And she wanted him to punish her. And then when he started fucking her I felt like I was falling down a well for a second there. *squirms*
You were right; the angst is strong in this one, Luke.
Well, I think part of it stemmed from my own desire to see Dean actually *deal* with the aftermath of what Jo said - how that impacted not only his perception of John but how that spiraled out of control into his perception of self. It almost seemed glossed over by the time "The Usual Suspects" rolled around, so I tried to address it in the GS 'verse with something that was suitably cathartic.
Penny, man. Oh, Penny. What did you do to yourself, girlie.I was worried that this story was too Penny-centric on a lot of levels - between Dean specifically going against Winchester MO to be with her and the revelations of her past - but I do think the background was necessary for Dean to make the realizations about himself that he did. She's his mirror in a lot of ways and I really wanted to show how her experience resonates with his, even though he's absolutely convinced that they're from two different worlds
( ... )
I don't think that's the casekatelennonJuly 18 2007, 22:57:29 UTC
I really don't. I think that it's very in character for Dean. I was rewatching Route 666 and Dean is very talky with Cassie. VERY talkie, I was suprised at how much, truthfully.
As for the father angle, speaking as a child with like, mountains of Daddy issues, it felt real to me. My Dad is gone and well, let's just say Mom and I are never going to have the same priorities.
It was slightly dirty!shmoopy, but I thought it worked given Dean&Penny and their story. I still think Dean has to tell Penny about their past life together. I smell a Time after Time-esque story waiting to be told.
Re: I don't think that's the caseelanurelJuly 19 2007, 02:57:25 UTC
I think that it's very in character for Dean. I was rewatching Route 666 and Dean is very talky with Cassie.
Whew. I was working hard to at least refer to the talky vibe I thought he had with Cassie but I didn't do the usual research and watch the show as a friend has my DVDs. (*weeps*) I did actually reduce a lot of what he said into stilted little sentences so it would come across as more awkward than he was with Cassie.
As for the father angle, speaking as a child with like, mountains of Daddy issues, it felt real to me.
Well, good that it felt real. Not good on the other... My dad died when I was four...and I pretty much write that part of Charlotte's history from memory. (OK, I can't imagine someone would suddenly cry me a Mary Sue for that...but it's true and I won't take it back...)
It was slightly dirty!shmoopy, but I thought it worked given Dean&Penny and their story.Yeah. The scene still scared the hell out of me, though, because I wanted it to be psychologically valid and not just something I threw in for the
( ... )
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We did it! Dean and Penny can rest easy for another two weeks, when Penny gets another goddamn bee up her bonnet...
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(The comment has been removed)
I truly didn't expect it to take the turn into angst that it did; given the underlying angst thread that runs through the whole series, that's saying something.
I'm worry I made you cry, however. *hugs*
I know you were worried about the bondage scene, but I think your fears were misplaced.
There was a lot of back and forth between myself and folks regarding the psychology of the scene. I did it specifically to show trust because, let's face it, the two characters in question don't talk as often as they should about the "important" things. And both are very physical characters.
Although, the secret here is: My biggest fear was Dean's confession at the end of the scene. I was worried that it would be viewed as a huge cliche but every beta agreed it was so very Dean to say exactly what he said in that moment. (And very psychologically telling, when you look at it from that view...)
Reply
I just want to spoil them both and feed them chicken soup and cuddle with them under the covers.
This more than lived up to expectations, B. I can't wait to see what you come up with next!
Reply
*pets*
I'm still worried about it, between the length and a lot of the subject matter. Folks expecting "Gobsmacked" might be disappointed in this installment but...we only write what the muses desire, no? ;-P
I just want to spoil them both and feed them chicken soup and cuddle with them under the covers.
See, if I were in that position, there wouldn't be much cuddling...
Ahem.
People really should listen when I say that Dean is my Mary Sue. (*hee*)
This more than lived up to expectations, B. I can't wait to see what you come up with next!
Excellent! I confess that I didn't want it to be this huge let-down in the end, since I hyped it up so much and then lost momentum in the story by not writing anything in it for almost three months. *weeps*
Reply
Penny, man. Oh, Penny. What did you do to yourself, girlie. I really enjoy how you work out your OFCs, 'cause it almost never happens that I read an SPN story in which I find myself loving and rooting for characters whose last names aren't Winchester. And it usually only ever happens with OCs when they're ones YOU have brought to life; I appreciated the Penny-angst here just as much as I did the Dean-angst 'cause you made it plausible, you gave her real issues and imperfections that work well when you have your characters crashing around as separate individuals but work especially well when you have them crashing together. They're like this completely dysfunctional yet perfect circle.
And geez, that bondage scene, B. With the knife hilt! And she wanted him to punish her. And then when he started fucking her I felt like I was falling down a well for a second there. *squirms*
Reply
Well, I think part of it stemmed from my own desire to see Dean actually *deal* with the aftermath of what Jo said - how that impacted not only his perception of John but how that spiraled out of control into his perception of self. It almost seemed glossed over by the time "The Usual Suspects" rolled around, so I tried to address it in the GS 'verse with something that was suitably cathartic.
Penny, man. Oh, Penny. What did you do to yourself, girlie.I was worried that this story was too Penny-centric on a lot of levels - between Dean specifically going against Winchester MO to be with her and the revelations of her past - but I do think the background was necessary for Dean to make the realizations about himself that he did. She's his mirror in a lot of ways and I really wanted to show how her experience resonates with his, even though he's absolutely convinced that they're from two different worlds ( ... )
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But I'm still having a hard time reconciling how self-indulgent this one seems to me. Ah, well... It's been awhile since I wrote them.
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As for the father angle, speaking as a child with like, mountains of Daddy issues, it felt real to me. My Dad is gone and well, let's just say Mom and I are never going to have the same priorities.
It was slightly dirty!shmoopy, but I thought it worked given Dean&Penny and their story. I still think Dean has to tell Penny about their past life together. I smell a Time after Time-esque story waiting to be told.
Okay, yes, I'm crazy like that.
Reply
Whew. I was working hard to at least refer to the talky vibe I thought he had with Cassie but I didn't do the usual research and watch the show as a friend has my DVDs. (*weeps*) I did actually reduce a lot of what he said into stilted little sentences so it would come across as more awkward than he was with Cassie.
As for the father angle, speaking as a child with like, mountains of Daddy issues, it felt real to me.
Well, good that it felt real. Not good on the other... My dad died when I was four...and I pretty much write that part of Charlotte's history from memory. (OK, I can't imagine someone would suddenly cry me a Mary Sue for that...but it's true and I won't take it back...)
It was slightly dirty!shmoopy, but I thought it worked given Dean&Penny and their story.Yeah. The scene still scared the hell out of me, though, because I wanted it to be psychologically valid and not just something I threw in for the ( ... )
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