Fic: "The Future is Ours - Day at the beach" 1/?, Alec/Jared, NC-17
Fic title: "The Future is Ours - Day at the beach 1/?"
Author: the_milky_way
Genre: Dark Angel/RPS
Pairing: Alec/Jared
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~ 9.300
Beta: Thanks so much A.
Disclaimer: This story is fictional (not real, didn't happen). Not true in any way. I don't own anything. Dark Angel belongs to Fox and no money is being made out of this.
Summary:
Jared's feeling strange, detached and hyper aware of everything around him. Sure, he's an X5 but it doesn't explain why he's feeling horny all day round. Maybe Max's in heat and projecting? It sure as hell can't be him.
He feels strange most of the time these days, as if his body is walking in another direction, one he can’t follow, one he doesn’t know how to follow. He doesn’t know when it started and at first he tried to ignore it until the tug, the urge to do something became almost too strong. What he wants to do, what his body wants to do, Jared can’t tell, can’t identify. And it scares him a little how out of his element he feels.
Notes:
This was written for purequicksilver's birthday but is way too late. I'm sorry. *hides*
It's also part of the "The Long Way Home" verse. It's not really necessary to read the other parts but it might help with some things. This story can still be read as a standalone though. It's set after the end of "Long way Home" an d after "With the satellites failing prepare for ascension".
It's part of my schmoop_bingo card and fills the prompt day at the beach.
This has not been a good day so far. Jared has messed up way too many things already and people are starting to notice. For some reason it’s hard to concentrate, hard to block people out. It’s not like he isn’t used to his empathic abilities by now but somehow keeping his walls up and everyone else’s emotions out has become are very difficult thing to do these past few days.
It’s not like he can read thoughts, not when it’s not Alec and not when Alec isn’t being open on purpose. Jared just can feel other’s emotions or emotional states, needs to build up walls around his mind to not be flooded with every single feeling someone has in TC.
He feels strange most of the time these days, as if his body is walking in another direction, one he can’t follow, one he doesn’t know how to follow. He doesn’t know when it started and at first he tried to ignore it until the tug, the urge to do something became almost too strong. What he wants to do, what his body wants to do, Jared can’t tell, can’t identify. And it scares him a little how out of his element he feels.
Max has been looking at him funnily ever since he growled at her two days ago. Jared grimaces every time he thinks about it. She had been planning a mission with the members of the command center, deeply in conversation when Jared had walked in, carrying equipment and just wanting to see if Joshua or even Alec could help. She had just been standing there, close to Alec though. Too close for Jared's taste. Way too close.
Just the sight of Max touching Alec, a pat on the back, had Jared’s hairs standing up and him baring his teeth. He didn’t even realize what he had been doing until Alec had dragged him out of the room, a scowl on his face and eyes small angry slits. Yeah, okay so this hasn’t been his finest hour but Jared is as confused as everyone else apparently seems to be.
So Max has been looking at him, taxing and calculative, small smile present every single time Jared raises his eyebrows or asks what’s up. She doesn’t say anything really, just tells him he’ll find out soon enough. He’s not sure what to make out of that. Max’s never mysterious but she knows how to hide things and right now Jared just wants to jump her and throttle it of her. He thinks he might be going crazy.
Or his body is.
His body definitely is. It’s worse then it ever felt during puberty and Jared actually starts to think he’s going through that all over again. Who knows? Might even be one of those errant genes in his genome that has not reason to be there. He’s a freak after all and some things just can’t be predicted.
Logan managed to get a full genome screen on him after the thing with White had been over. Apparently there is no cat in him, no cat in the sense of cat anyway. No, they had to go and make it a tiger when they designed him. Jared still shivers at thoughts like those. He doesn’t want to think of himself as being designed. He was born by a real woman, was raised by real parents after all. Just because they sort of implanted things into his make up doesn’t make it any less real.
Anyway, Max smiles and sways off every time he dares to ask her. Sways! Jared has never seen her do that when he’s close, only ever when Logan is around. It’s confusing, sends strange vibes down his spine and makes his skin tingle with anticipation. It’s a little like torture.
Jared’s very confused, to say the least.
He wonders if she’s starting to get into heat. If that’s why she has to touch and sway and look all enticing. Which is the only reason why he sort of tries to sniff the air when she’s around, like he might actually smell something. He’ll blame Alec for that idea, talking about pheromones and stuff like that as if Jared hasn’t sat through every single biology class at his school and knew exactly what they were talking about.
Jared feels extremely embarrassed and very stupid when Mole catches him sniffing one day. He blushes like he hasn’t in a while, stutters through his words and forgets to keep his walls all up. He ends up crumbling to the floor by the impact of emotions that crash unfiltered into his mind. He doesn’t even have the chance to flee, just crashes down and bangs his head.
Alec’s not pleased when Jared wakes up again, asks what’s up and makes it so very hard for Jared to concentrate. Alec’s too close, sitting on Jared’s mattress, stroking skin and looking worried. Jared wants to lick the place where Alec’s neck meets his shoulder, wants to bite and claim. He doesn’t hear a single word Alec says until there are fingers snapped in front of his eyes.
Alec frowns, deep, concerned and looks a little helpless as well. Jared doesn’t know what to do, how to answer questions he doesn’t really know the answers to. So he claims lack of sleep and general tiredness due to the missions he’s now allowed to go. He can see it in Alec’s eyes that he’s not as convincing has he’d hoped but in the end Alec lets him sleep, leaves and doesn’t come back that evening.
It shouldn’t hurt this much. Jared knows Alec’s just doing what’s best for Jared. He needs time to get back on his feet after every crash. But then they both had thought the times of collapsing and uncontrollable outbreaks of emotions were over. Apparently not.
Alec has a lot on his hands these days. Busy with missions and with the Council, always trying to find the best solution to sustain Terminal City, always there for everyone else and their problems. Jared just wants to be held sometimes and it seems that even that is becoming a rare occasion now.
Sometimes Jared still feels insecure, unsure of his role in TC. Sure, he is some sort of counselor now, talks to people, teaches the kids how to deal with being a transgenic. He even works at command center, fixes the equipment when no one else knows how to, trains the teens with Alec. But he still doesn’t really know if he’s really needed or if he’s just getting those tasks because he’s connected to Alec.
Jared is still only 18, hasn’t been in TC all that long after all, just about a year now. Sometimes he feels older, experienced beyond his years due to the things he knows, has seen, and still sees when emotions crash in on him. He feels cursed sometimes, too. Especially when his abilities, his dreams show up full force and reduce him to a sobbing baby who needs Alec by his side all the time.
Jared has started to keep his episodes to himself since Alec started working with the Council again. Not that there have been many, just during the last few days he’s had problems concentrating, sort of forgets to put his walls up all the time, forgets the training Suma put him through. His too caught up in things his body does. Alec doesn’t need to know. There isn’t really a problem, so he’ll deal with it without burdening Alec with that as well. He feels enough as reliability as it is.
But he is not really careful enough in his tries to hide from everyone, mostly because his body is betraying big time. After the second time Max actually caught him being passed out things have become even more boring and less fun for Jared.
Max won’t let him go on missions even though he’s trained, Gem won’t let him tag along into the city and Mole won’t risk another fight with Max about letting Jared to do undercover work for him.
Sure, Jared can see the concerns but it’s not what he wants. He sometimes feels like a better babysitter when Max delegates him teacher’s duty once more and even that can be too much for him when he’s too exhausted from his dreams and the nausea attacks.
He doesn’t feel useless per se just a little under whelmed and maybe a bit disappointed as well.
***
So this has not been a good day so far and Jared is a little clueless and maybe a little aimless as well. Wanders the halls and tries to occupy him, tries hard to keep is walls up and his body in check.
He catches sight of himself on reflected on the glass of one of the broken doors and flinches. He looks gaunt, drawn in, like a freak that holes up in the basement and never sees the sun. Only, it’s the attic and he can’t stomach the sun much these days. He looks old and tired. Jared has no idea who he is anymore.
In Command Central he sees Max talking to Gem and Mole, wonders if he should ask for more work or just give up for the day. He’s messed up every single project he started and it’s not like he knows why and could change it. Probably not a good idea to ask for something new to screw up then. And really, feeling aimless is not really supporting his wish for more work anyway.
In the end Jared just takes some of the food cans Joshua scavenged a few days ago and vanishes into his tower. He likes to call it tower even though it’s really just a less decayed corner of the highest building in TC. He’s got the largest rooms though, packed full with scavenged and found things like mattresses pulled atop each other, a huge couch Mole brought a long one day, a closet and dressers, two tables and a variety of chairs.
He’s even got a kitchen now, a bar counter Max found somewhere along with a sink and he has running water. Jared’s still not sure how they managed that but it was a nice surprise to come home to that day. Even his shower works most of the time. He’s glad it’s hooked to a different pipe than Alec’s. Alec even calls Jared’s place luxurious, spends most his time there anyway when he is in TC at all.
The place is Jared’s and it’s home now.
Jared has painted the walls the best way he could, hid the metal gray walls beneath coats of dark reds and greens. This place is the best he could hope for, enforced walls, a metal in them that shields Jared from most of TC’s emotions when he’s not able to do so himself. It’s his save haven and mostly far enough away.
Sometimes a little too far away.
He’s not sure he has friends beside Alec, Joshua, Gem and Max. Maybe Original Cindy as well; and Dalton. But all of them have a place in TC, have jobs to do, are busy. So they rarely come all the way up to his rooms. So when he’s up in his tower he’s mostly alone. Truly alone sometimes even, when TC isn’t as crowded as it usually is, when teams are out on missions or looking for work and he’s sequestered away in his rooms, then he can’t feel anything but his own emotions.
He puts the plate on the kitchen counter. He isn’t really hungry but he knows he needs to eat something today. Since his body is on a warpath with itself Jared’s hasn’t really been able to enjoy any kind of amenities like Joshua’s chocolate or really, food at all. Looking at food makes him nauseous for some reason. His taste buts are rebelling, too and his sense of smell seems to be off at the most inappropriate moments. Jared has given up trying to figure it out, Maybe he’s allergic to something, not really a way to find out around here.
He’s not even sure what’s on his plate anymore, something green and brown, something congealed and strange looking now. With a small flick of his wrist the plate slithers over the counter’s surface and too far away but enough for him not having to see it anymore. Or even smell it.
A lurch of disgust waves through his stomach making him flinch and stumble over to his couch. Jared flops down with a groan, head pounding and a strange sort of arousal spinning through him. Dizziness settles in him, makes everything blurry and confusing. His stomach lurches and Jared doesn’t know what to do anymore but to curl up on his lumpy sofa. His muscles cramp and he groans, loud and long. No one will here him anyway. No one is close enough at this time of the day and he’s not even trying to call Alec up.
Their bond is an undercurrent in Jared’s mind, always there, always ready for him to tap into and connect. Others are there sometimes as well; when emotions are rolling high in TC Jared has to fight hard to keep his walls up. And sometimes it just gets too much, too loud and then he kind of fades away, protects himself and doesn’t let anyone close.
No one has noticed it yet. Jared tries not to feel too lonely when he thinks about it. Times are hectic, busy and he’s just not really all that important anyway. He refuses to feel too depressed about it all. It’s not him and he has other problems than his own emotions running havoc. His body doing the same for example.
The sun is vanishing behind the other buildings, leaving only small slips of sunlight in the room. He should switch on the lights, should move and maybe go to bed. But he can’t move, everything feels out of order, out of balance. His eyes burn, his ears ache and his skin feels like it is one fire. He wants to rip his clothes away, rut against the cool surface of the couch and just let got.
Suddenly everything is overwhelmingly intense. Smells, colors, noises. Everything crash into him with tenfold intensity and he moans out loud again. There has never been anything like this before. He’s never felt so out of control, so driven by his... instincts.
There is this need. The need to be with someone, the need to be with Alec. His mind whirls and he can’t think, just feels, just has the instinct to guide him now. He moans again, feels it vibrating through his body, sends his senses into overdrive and Jared is lost.
He longs to be touched, to touch, lick and bite. The urge to just let go is so strong that Jared doesn’t even feel himself opening up. His mind is wide open, free for every emotion and transmitting his own at the same time. The pounding in his head intensifies as well. He feels himself slide down to the floor, unable to stop his body from moving, from slipping away.
His walls are down completely now. All the way out and all the way. Emotions, feelings, images. Everything is there. Everything is in his head.
Hot, white flashes of pain rake through him. And lust. He’s hot, heated skin and shivers leave him not time to adjust, to realize that something is really, really wrong right now. He slides down even more, feels his cheek press against the floor now, groans at the cool material against his heated skin. Then he stops moving, just lies there and writhes.
Images flash through his mind, make him dizzy, nauseous again with their ferocity and force. There are ants crawling up his leg, make him twitch and writhe even more. He can’t hold still, needs the friction so much it hurts.
Jared is so hard that he can’t stand the material of his pants against his cock anymore. It hurts so much and he wants to scream, wants it gone. He wants to come, needs the release, the relief. He’s on the edge, one step away from falling but his body doesn’t take it, holds him right there, swing free and dangerously close to losing himself in it.
Then he’s not alone anymore.
Someone’s there. Alec. Alec is in the room, in his head, calming him down or at least trying to. It’s soothing somewhat but not much. Jared needs more, needs touch, and needs to come so bad. Alec’s thoughts are like caresses to his aching mind, gentle and smooth. It helps to get his walls back up after a while. The words, the thoughts, the just being there.
Then only his own thoughts, his own emotions are left. Swirling aimlessly and wild.
Alec is closer now. Jared feels it, smells it, wants him even closer. He moans, reaches out and grunts when he only connects with the table in front of the couch. He needs to move, closer to Alec. Still needs the release. It hurts but then it aches so good. It’s like a fog in his mind, clouded vision, clouded by desire and need.
He craves Alec, Alec’s touch and taste. Desperately and immediate. Like a tidal wave that’s just continuing on instead of going back and forth. His hips are moving, almost frantically against the ground, set off whimpers and shudders and groans.
Lust and pain crash through him, overwhelming his body once more.
Then there are hands on him, grabbing, dragging him close and away from the ground he’d been bucking into.
Alec. Finally. Touching.
There are words, whispered against his skin; body held close to another, hands running up and down his back but never come close to where Jared desperately needs them. He needs so much, needs so bad.
The second Alec’s lips touch his skin Jared’s world goes black. He seizes, bucks and just lets go.
***
When he comes to, everything is quiet.
Not really quiet but the noise in his head is absent, leaves him with only his own heartbeat pulsing in his ears. There are no other thoughts but his own. No other emotions he has to suppress or get away from.
It’s just him… and Alec.
Alec is there.
Jared blinks, tries to open his eyes and groans out loud when he looks straight into the blue, bright sky. The sun’s out and it’s not as cold as it has been lately but Jared only registers the light and how it hurts his brain.
“Ssh… It’s alright. You gonna be okay. Just stay still for a while.”
There something singing down his skin, like a spark, lightning-fast and almost painful. Lust lingers beneath it all, pushing to the surface with a power that’s almost too much again. But it’s not urgent. Not yet. It’s just there.
Jared groans again, turns into the gentle touch ion his cheek. Alec. It’s all Alec he can feel now, on his skin, in his mind. Soothing thoughts and familiar smell. Everything is Alec. Jared loves it.
He sniffles a little, takes it all in, revels in the fact that he can smell the difference in Alec’s unique sent as soon as it happens. There is a low moan above him and Jared smirks a little. His body needs Alec to be on the same page. He can’t be the only in this, can’t be alone.
“Damn Jay. Of course you had to go and do the extreme version again. That’s just... that’s so you. Man, you should have told me,” it’s said in gentle, soothing tones, not accusing but worried nonetheless.
“S…Sorry. I… What’s happening? Alec? How long have I been out?” Jared turns a little, sighs at the feel of Alec’s hand settling at the nape of his neck, massaging the taut muscles slightly. It feels good. Too good maybe because Jared can feel himself moving closer, canting his hips. He hears Alec snort and smiles a little.
“A night and half the day today. It’s okay. And well, what’s happening... Uh… Heat, Jay. You’re in heat.”
Huh?
“What?”
Alec snorts a real laugh now, scratches along Jared’s skin and Jared knows it’s an unconscious movement, just to settle them both, ground them in the moment, have them as close as possible. He’s somewhat ashamed at the relief he feels at the fact that Alec seems to need the contact as much as he does.
“Yeah. Seems like your tiger pulled through after all. I’ve never been hit by pheromones that hard. Nice one, Jay.”
Jared shrugs, because what can he say to that? They are quiet for a while, just are, not words needed. Jared has missed this. Just being with Alec, touching talking, feeling. Just Alec and him, no one else, no problems to be solved. Figures, that yet another problem is the thing that brings them together again.
It’s then, him lying there, cradled against Alec, that he feels the surface he’s lying on for the first time. It feels strange at first, soft and still hard at the same time. Subconsciously he’s headdesking for not being able to realize it but he can’t say where they are.
So he asks.
“Where?”
“We are? At the beach. Had to get you away from TC. Your breakdown didn’t only put you flat out but affected a lot of people the second I opened the door. Man, when your walls are and you are high on pheromones you can be quite the biological weapon,” Alec snorts, half joking, half serious.
Jared blushes. Great, just another thing to label him as a freak.
“Sorry.” It’s mumbled against Alec’s shirt where Jared is hiding his face against. He can’t face the world right now, not even Alec.
“Hey. No. Come on, Jay. It’s okay. No need to be sorry. Max like, too when she’s in heat. Affects a lot of suitable mates. And well, I guess you didn’t even know,” Alec says quietly, pulls Jared closer and rests his chin on the top of Jared’s head.
“Why didn’t you say something? Must have started a while ago the way you went down. And considering the way you are affecting me right now it hasn’t even reached its peak yet.”
Jared shrugs, moans at the way the movement has Alec’s fingers sliding through his hair, scratching his skin. The touch is soothing but arousing, too. He digs his fingers into the sand beneath him, lets himself slide down until his head is resting on Alec’s lap and Jared can stretch out. He misses the warmth of Alec’s body against his but he needs to get away a little.
Lust is singing through him stronger again, making him dizzy and maybe a little nauseous as well. But he doesn’t want to lose all the contact with Alec so he sighs when Alec goes back to combing through his hair.
The sun is warm on his skin. He’s not fever hot yet, not flushed with lust and desire, so he can actually enjoy where he is at least a little bit. The sand is cool but not cold, which is surprising since it’s October already.
Jared feels calm, safe, despite the constant need thrumming through him, telling him to act on it. He stays where he is, feels his blood rush through his veins, feels Alec tense up beneath his head but not pulling away.
“Didn’t wanna tell you. It’s... embarrassing. You were so stressed; look dead on your feed. I... I thought I could handle it. Didn’t think.. think it was important.” Jared mumbles, already preparing to fall back asleep. He sees spots and sparks projected on his closed eyelids, doesn’t remember when he closed them again or if he really had them open for a while.
He hears Alec sigh, though, wishes he was strong enough to open his eyes, because he wants to look at Alec. But he fears what might happen if he does, feels the burn in his blood, the need to touch lick, bite. To claim.
“Jay… I … It’s been stressful. I know. I’m sorry. I hadn’t realized… We haven’t or touched in days and I didn’t even notice. I’m sorry Jared.”
“Alec…”
Fingers, clamped in his hair, go back to stroking and petting. Jared likes that, loves it even. It feels nice, always right and he wants Alec to go on with this forever. It keeps the arousal at the right level, is soothing enough for Jared to be able to suppress any other urges for now.
“I… I shouldn’t have left you alone for so long. Max warned me, said she could smell pheromones. But she didn’t really know what it was, said it smelled different. Tiger,” Alec adds with a snort and Jared would protest if he didn’t find it somewhat cool to be called this by Alec. Definitely better than all the ideas Joshua and Mole came up with. Why those two were talking about pet names and nicknames still escaped Jared’s knowledge.
He snorts at Alec’s words, curls closer to the body beneath him again. It’s like his own body can’t decide if it wants to be as close or as far away from Alec as possible.
“Thought she… that she was the one in heat. Looked funny at me. Looked funny to me. All wrong colors and smells,” Jared speaks against the skin of Alec’s hip, that someone how got exposed by Jared’s squirming. The body shivers beneath Jared’s cheek and he grins.
Then Alec laughs, out loud and happy, amused as all hell. Alec’s fingers slide down Jared’s neck, grace his shoulders when they slip underneath the fabric of his shirt. Jared shivers almost violently, moans and tries to not jump Alec then and there. He breathes against Alec’s skin, bucks his hips seeking friction.
“Sssh… calm down. We’ll get you through.”
“How?”
“Have to let the urgent phase pass. I don’t know how long it’ll be, seeing as I have no idea about tigers and mating or you know… tiger sex.”
Jared giggles through his moans, manages to settle down again when Alec just keeps on combing through his hair. Hearing Alec talking about sex, no matter the situation, makes him horny every single time. Now is not an exception.
“I’ll help you, Jay. I’ll be there. Then, when I’m sure we’re not gonna hurt each other… Guess you can call if fucking. Primal, need-based fucking. You’ll take me with you, with your hormones and I guess through our bond as well.”
Jared nods, moves his head against Alec’s skin, enjoys his cheek sliding along. Then he bites through the fabric and grins at the little squeak he gets out of Alec.
“Naughty, Jay.”
Jared does it again, can’t stop himself, can’t stop the need surging through him again. Moves his hips and almost whine when Alec’s hand’s stop him.
“Missed it. Not… not the heat. Just us. Us, alone and together.”
Alec’s hands on him stop briefly and then pull him even closer. The need is like a tidal wave, coming in and retreating back, crashing down on him only to let him hanging. Jared’s a little desperate there and Alec just holding him isn’t really what he wants right now. Friction is what he’s seeking, what he needs. Not getting it hurts in so many different ways that he needs to concentrate on something else. Talking to Alec, focusing on the water and the sand he can see from his position, is helping a little.
Alec sighs, puff of breath ruffling Jared’s hair, sending shivers through his body.
“I missed it, too. And I’m sorry, Jay. I’m not really used to… well to be in a relationship. Never had a real one, well a long one, before. It’s new. I guess I take things for granted that really shouldn’t be. I’m here now. I promise, we’ll get you through it. Won’t let you live though that all alone. Not the way I had to.”
Jared doesn’t miss the underlying note of hurt in Alec’s voice, presses a kiss into warm skin and is so very grateful that Alec is there for him. He doesn’t want to imagine, doesn’t want to think about what might have happened to him if he’d still been alone by the time heat hit. There is no way around the fact that deciding to go all the way up north to TC had been a good decision.
“Will... Will it hurt?” He has to know. After the last few days, after what happened this morning Jared’s scared. He doesn’t know what his body is going through, doesn’t know what will happen next.
“Hurt?” Alec sounds confused; worried even more now, tugs Jared closer, and draws circles on his back. Fingers scratch lightly over soft fabric, over skin and through tangled hair. It’s all Jared can do not purr, not to just move and take what his body is demanding.
“It hurt so much when I just let go. In TC. It made me crash my walls and all those emotions where there. Too many of them and my own where all over the place. Guess it’s why I passed out. I needed so much and it was never enough. But then it was too much at once.”
Jared shivers at the thought of fire racing through his veins, of pains and aches wrecking his body. He remembers the overwhelming need to do something, to be with someone. The urge to just let go, the urge to just come. He remembers the sticky feeling in his jeans, how hot and wet it was just before he passed out.
Jared thinks he should be embarrassed about it, about the fact that Alec apparently changed his clothes before he took them to the beach. He just can’t bring himself to care. This, well this is apparently just normal for the freak bodies and he’s slowly getting used to the fact that he probably will never be able to predict what his body will do next.
So he just sighs in defeat and curls himself closer to the warm body beneath him, sucks in a breath when his groin rubs against Alec’s thigh. The need is thrumming slowly through his body, there and present but not urgent. Not yet.
“Oh... damn, Jared. How… Did it happen often? Tell me. Please.”
“Sometimes. I was alone most of the times anyway, so now reason to tell. I mean… I... didn’t know what it was,” he whispers against skin and fabric, takes in the scent and how it changes with every new revelation. Alec’s worried. Worried and aroused. And there is guilt as well. Jared wants to lick it away. None of them knew this would happen. No one is at fault here.
He says as much, smiles at the way Alec sighs and how it’s just a sign for a suppressed protest.
“I couldn’t go into TC for hours afterwards. All my guards where down. Everything was fucked up. I felt high and dizzy and it hurt.”
He feels Alec nod, feels the movement and the skin against his lips. Lets his tongue snake out and taste. Salty and strong. Alec just there. Senses seem stronger, more focused somehow. Jared likes it, likes the way he can taste Alec like that.
“No one’s here, Jay. We are alone. Just us. You and me. I had Logan drive us up here. We have a tent and supplies for a few days. He’ll be back in a week. Should be enough time I think. Still no idea how tigers work in this.”
There is amusement in Alec’s voice, almost overshadowing the worry but not quite.
“Logan’s saving my ass again, huh?” Jared grins a little. He sort of likes Logan now, gets along with him, can actually talk to him about things. Might have been a good idea to talk to him about this as well. Jared suddenly feels guilty, like too much of a teenager to be able to deal with it all.
“Didn’t wanna worry you.”
“I know. I know, Jared. But... you shouldn’t care about that. It’s kinda... well it’s kinda my job, you know? Me taking care of you. As your... uh partner… boyfriend… I want to do that anyway. We take care of each other. Just come to me, okay?”
Jared tries to blink away the moisture in his eyes. There is no reason to cry, just stupid hormones and all that. It’s just the first time ever that Alec used the word; describe Jared’s position in his life. Jared has never been a boyfriend before.
His mind goes in circles, crashes so suddenly that he doesn’t have a chance to come up with a coherent reply, a reply Alec deserves. He just mumbles fragments of words and hopes Alec gets it.
“’kay… Tired. So… tired.”
And Alec does.
“Sleep then. It’s okay, Jared. I’m here.”
Fingers, gentle and soothing, pull him under. The last thing he knows is that he feels safe, loved. Alec will find a way to help him through it all.
***
The sun is still warm on his skin when Jared woke again. It’s lower in the sky making it more yellow-green than blue. He takes a deep breath and registers for the first time the salted sea air around him. It’s different from the air in Seattle, heavier somehow, cooler. They must be further north than he thought.
He opens his eyes, sure that this time he’ll manage not to flinch in pain. He takes a look around from where he’s still lying curled up and gasps at the scenery around him. It’s like nothing he’s ever seen before. Wild, untouched, rough and still so very beautiful.
Deep, dense woods surround the sandy beach they are on. It’s more like a little bay than just a beach. Sandy strip of sand in a half moon, bordered off by trees on one side and water on the other. It looks like the total opposite to what Jared’s mind is right now, calm and peaceful. Tranquil.
He’s lying on a blanket now, shifted from before, not across Alec’s body anymore. The tent is up, just about in his field of vision and he wonders how long he’d been asleep this time or if Alec had put it up before already. He rolls over, slowly, carefully and takes in the rest of the view. It’s close to perfect, Jared thinks and smiles.
It feels secure. Secluded enough. Far enough away from everything and everyone.
“You’re awake.”
Jared turns again, towards the voice and smiles at the legs that are in front of him now. Tilts his head up a little and smiles even wider.
“Hi.”
Alec snorts and drops down on the blanket next to him.
“Hey. You’re in a good mood.”
“Slept,” Jared yawns. He feels good. Calmer now. But high and elated at the same time. Happy.
“That you did. How are you feeling? Anything you want? Need?”
The laugh that breaks free surprises him but he doesn’t do anything to suppress it. There are so many things he wants right now. Needs. His blood is pumping need through his veins faster than he’s ever felt it. Alec being close makes it boil, makes him dizzy with it.
Jared feels awesome, though. There is no pain, no urgent desperation, just need and longing moving through him, making him reach out and stroke up Alec’s leg.
“Want? Do I want something? Yes. You. Just you.”
There is a chuckle, warm and deep, and Jared smiles. It’s all he can think about right now, having Alec close, moving just a bit so that he can straddle the other man. But Alec’s just sitting there, looking down at him and doesn’t move.
“Later, Jay. Promise. Right now you need to eat. Don’t want you to black out again because you are hungry or something.” The smile is still there, soft and gentle, but so is the concern. Jared doesn’t know what he did to deserve Alec but he’s glad he’s not alone in this world. The thought of food though makes his stomach clench painfully. Food is not very high on his priority list.
“No food, Alec. Can’t stand it. It tastes funny.”
He sees Alec nod, figures it’s not unheard of and silently sighs in relief. Because that had him worried, the way his body had refused any sustenance during the last few days. Only water and apples had been okay.
“Just a little. Try it, Jared. Knowing there wasn’t real food in a while.”
Alec knows him too well. Knows that food is the first thing Jared sacrifices when he thinks he’s endangering others. Sacrificing food also means not giving his body much needed energy but that really hasn’t been on his mind lately. Food just isn’t important.
Alec moves then, closer but not too close. It moves Jared’s hand as well, away from the warm skin he’d been stroking all this time. Jared sighs in frustration, feels the loss of the connection in his mind. Feels alone and starting to succumb to the thrum of need running through him. He wants to touch again, needs the reassurance of it, of Alec being there.
“I had chocolate. Joshua brought it.”
“That’s no real food, Jared,” Alec says with a snort and turns around to tug something out of the backpack resting next to him. Jared hadn’t even seen that before. Alec looks a little lost there, unsure of what to say to Jared or what to do next. There is a package in his hands and he’s moving like he wants to hand it over but doesn’t know if he should.
“I know. Just... everything else makes me nauseous. But… uh... I can try.”
“Thank you.”
It sounds so sincere and relieved that Jared smiles when he takes the package from Alec’s hands. They both hiss when their fingers touch and Alec lingers a little before he moves back and digs into the pack again.
“I’ll try if I can have you afterwards,” Jared smirks, almost leers and isn’t really sure where this is coming from. It’s not really him. Sure, he’s 18 and horny but this is something completely out of everything he’s ever experienced.
Alec groans, rubs a hand over his face and just stares out over the ocean for a minute or two. Then he shakes his head, glances at Jared and looks down. He looks like he’s embarrassed and flattered at the same time. Jared finds it really, really cute and totally hot.
“Yeah… Just yeah… okay. I... I want you, too, Jared. You are a force here, dragging me along and there isn’t really anything I want to do against it.”
The words alone would make Jared fall for Alec again. The send warm tingles through every nerve ding in his body and he can’t resist anymore. He moves in to steal a kiss and groans when he meets warm, supple lips that don’t resist at all. He feels his hormones surging, raging inside of him, feels himself bracing for the pain and moans when there is none.
Jared deepens the kiss. Suckles on flesh and uses teeth to tease. Alec’s not protesting at all. When they break apart Alec’s green eyes are glazed over, are almost dark with lust. This is what Jared wants to see. He doesn’t want Alec to hold back anymore, needs to smell the arousal as much as feel it, needs all his senses to be tuned into Alec.
The skin tastes salty, like the air around them. Smells like sun and water and wind. Smells like Alec and need and want. It’s the perfect mixture and Jared laps it up, sucks on skin and grazes his teeth over the spot afterwards.
Alec is holding him close now, clutching his hips and fingers slipping between waistband and Jared’s skin. It’s not enough but a step towards what Jared wants. Alec’s hand on him, Alec’s lips and teeth. He wants Alec.
“God, Jared,” Alec groans, moves to pull Jared completely into his lap. Jared loves how Alec is going with the plan and then mewls in disappointment when Alec moves his head away from Jared’s searching lips, follows the skin he’d been attached to.
“Eat, Jared!”
Jared hums against Alec’s neck, licks the skin again and again.
“Am eating.”
“Not me, Jay. The food,” Alec whispers, sounds like he isn’t able to use his voice anymore. Jared would feel smug about it all if he wasn’t so focused on getting laid, on getting Alec’s hands deeper into his pants. Jared feels his fingers digging into Alec’s back where he’s trying to hold on to him, is sort of aware that he might be bruising the skin beneath the shirt. But he can’t care about that right now.
His hips move without him doing anything, at least not consciously, rub against hard muscles and seek friction that needs to be there right now. It’s just now, now, now running through his mind. Need now. And Jared is beyond caring how desperate that makes him.
His calm acceptance from just a few minutes before is gone, drowned in a sea of need and longing. The urgency is there again and he can’t stop it. Not now.
“Come on, Jared. You need to eat…”
Jared almost comes when there is something soft and wet pressed against his lips. Groans out loud and bucks his hips. It takes him a second to realize what it is.
Melon. He hasn’t had melon in years and it actually pushes the need back a little. He moans when the flavor spreads across his tongue, reaches the last corners of his mouth. Juice is dribbling from his lips and he licks them slowly, to savor each and every last bit of it.
“Or have sex with the food,” Alec chuckles, sounding strained and barely in control anymore. It’s still warm even though the sun is about to vanish, or it’s just Jared’s high metabolism and the hormones wreaking havoc within his body. But Jared needs to get out of his clothes. Now.
He struggles a little, gets his head and Alec’s hands tangled in the shirt when he tries to rip it over his head.
“Whoa, Jared. Calm down. I’m here. It’s okay.” Alec’s hands travel up and down his heated skin, scratch along his spine and pull him closer again. Jared scrabbles for Alec’s shirt now, pushes it up and moans when his fingers slide over hard muscles. He wants to touch. Needs to.
Jared just needs right now. Simple as that. Needs Alec, needs relief, needs to move his hips. He’s never felt like this before, not even during puberty. He’s never had his senses on high alert like that, taking everything around him in and tenfold the experience. It’s amazing. It’s overwhelming.
And his mind is wide open. There is only Alec. Alec’s love, Alec’s want. Arousal and a little bit worry mixed with adoration. If Jared could he’d mock the man endlessly about it. But as it is he’s about to lose his mind and nothing but friction counts right now.
Lust and desire are clouding his mind but he knows he’s safe. Alec is there, makes it easier to deal with it all and Jared just lets go.
***
Skin on skin, heated, slippery with sweat and it’s still not enough. Hands slide over muscles, scratch and pause, and then clutch tightly, holding on. The tang of salty air mixes with that of arousal, makes it headier. Sweeter somehow.
Jared’s lost in a haze, follows instincts and needs. No thoughts spared, all energy is focused on the need to find relief, to complete this… task his body is set on. Just one purpose, nothing else counts.
Alec’s moving with him, pulling him closer, bringing their groins together and basically just lets Jared do what he wants. Jared lets his hands roam freely, feels each and every moan from the body beneath him. Draws them out like they are fuelling his need, make him go on.
Alec’s hands slip lower, dip fully beneath the waistband and Jared groans out loud when the fabric pulls tight across his hard cock. It hurts but it in a good way. He moans against bare skin, licks and sucks and tries to open his bands at the same time. He needs Alec’s hands elsewhere, lower, has to give them access right now.
The button pops with a sound Jared doesn’t even register; the feeling of the pressure partly gone is just way too overwhelming. Fingers on his waist tuck at the fabric, at his underwear as well and Jared’s breath hitches painfully when his cock is finally freed from its confines. It lies hard and hot against his belly, trapped between him and Alec.
There isn’t even a thought about it before Jared has Alec free as well.
Skin in Skin again, more heated and more sensitive this time.
“Fuck, Jared.”
They topple over, or rather Alec topples backwards and Jared follows him, ends up squashed against Alec’s naked chest with both their erection trapped between them. Their groans mix with the sound of the crashing waves.
Then and there it’s the first time all day Jared actually hears the waves crashing onto the beach, turns his head and stares at the white foam rolling out over wet, dark sand. Rolls his hips just like that, burns with the need for more.
“Need. ‘Lec. Now. Now. Come on. Touch me. Please. Please.” Just words tumbling from his lips, no real thoughts but still a way to make his need known. This burning need within him that threatens to consume him alive. It’s too much.
Hips move, wet streaks of pre-come painted on already slippery skin. Friction there against the skin, so needed and still not enough. Flushed skin in front of his eyes, eyes narrowed slits with green shining through, Jared sees it all, takes it in, is relieved when everything moves out of focused again just as Alec moves his hips as well.
“Got you. Got you, Jay. Tell me… what’ya need. Tell me.”
Alec sounds as wrecked as Jared feels. He looks gorgeous in the twilight; it’s still something that registers in Jared’s hazy mind.
“Hands. Just... you. Need you. In me…,” Jared pants against lips that moved and suck him in the second the touch again.
And then Alec’s hands move, tuck the jeans lower, down to Jared’s thighs, pulling the underwear along with them. It’s just anticipation of what’s to come but Jared feels himself clench and then rock his hips down against Alec.
He can’t hold himself propped on Alec’s shoulders any longer, mourns the loss of touch but lets his hands slip down in to the sand, clenching it hard between his fingers, clawing at it to just have something to hold on to. The move brings him closer to Alec, lets him move up a little as well and it’s just perfect.
The wet tip of his cock slides along Alec’s stomach, catches in the ridges of its muscles and Jared whines, long and deep. It’s good. So good and still not enough.
“Come on... Alec… just... please.”
Finger tips move lower, nails scratch along the way until they reach the cleft between Jared’s cheeks.
“Yes… please. ‘Lec,” he almost chokes on his own words, whines and dips his head to rest against the cool sand. This way Alec’s able to attach his mouth to Jared’s shoulder again and it feels great.
Red heat surges up through Jared the second Alec’s finger breaches him. Just a little, just testing and teasing but Jared bucks his hips backwards anyway. He moves fast, so fast that Alec has no chance to tease any longer. The finger slips in, almost all the way and Jared shouts in relief.
This is what he needs. This is what he wants.
“Shit, Jay. Your body... it’s amazing,” Alec whispers, moves his finger slow but deliberate. Jared sighs, breath panting and hitching. He needs more. So much more.
Alec pulls out again, massages the puckered muscle with slow strokes, tucks Jared’s jeans even lover with his free hand. More access and Jared whimpers again. Alec’s lips and other hand on his back are soothing, reassuring but Jared needs more right now, snaps his hips and moans against his arm, bites down in the skin to keep from shouting.
“All wet for me, Jay. Imagine. Just waiting for me.” The words barely register but Jared feels what Alec means, clenches his muscles and feels Alec’s finger slipping into his body even further. Just another freak thing his body apparently does, preparing itself during heart. Jared’s too far gone to even care about it.
“More. Need... need more.”
Movements are frantic now, uncontrolled and just primal. It’s good though, he gets the friction he needs, trapped against Alec’s erection and his own body. Gets the stimulation he wants from Alec’s fingers, two of them now, moving in about out of his body.
“You always loved it. Fingering you. Swear it’s getting you off more than my cock. Gotta get complexes from it,” Alec bites out between licks and sucks against his shoulder.
“No...oo... No. Just... feels good. All you. Need you.. just now... need this.”
“Fuck, Jared. Feels good.”
He can feel it all, can feel what Alec’s feeling. It’s just there, in his mind and he doesn’t even try to keep them out. He needs it, needs to know that Alec is there with him. Alec’s hips move against his own, cock sliding over Jared’s every single time. He needs it as much as Jared does, it’s mutual and perfect.
The fingers hit the spot Jared wants them so desperately to find. Hit it over and over again, fast and hard, just what Jared needs right now. He couldn’t stand gentle and slow.
The hand twists, just so, just right and this time Jared doesn’t hold the shout back. His hips jerk, hard, rough and he feels Alec lose it between them. Just the scent of Alec’s come is enough for Jared. The scent and the emotions flooding his mind, not able to block them off not wanting to.
He rears up, back bowed backwards, hands clenched hard in the sand and drives himself onto Alec’s fingers.
And those fingers moving in him make it so much more intense.
He comes hard, body twitching and moving, no way to stand still, trying to get away from the stimulation and wanting to keep close to it. His eyes pop open when he almost can’t take it anymore, looks down and locks his gaze onto Alec’s half lidded one - moves through the last waves of his orgasm.
“So beautiful, Jay.”
Pleasure is throbbing through him, makes his heartbeat pulse in his head and blood rush in his ears. His cock is still twitching when Jared sinks down onto - or really into Alec’s body. The sound of the waves and their harsh breathes are the sounds the almost lull Jared under.
Then Alec’s about to slip out and Jared whines, licks the skin closest to his mouth and stays splayed out over Alec’s body. He doesn’t want it to be over, doesn’t want to lose the contact even though the urgency, the desperation is gone. Wants to feel Alec there for just a little while longer.
“Don’t. Just stay like this… for a bit.” He buries his head against Alec’s neck too embarrassed to look up. This isn’t like him and still it feels right.
Alec doesn’t answer, holds him closer though with his free arm. Jared melts into the touch, snuggles close and closes his eyes again. He’s never felt this close to another person in his life and he thinks Alec will be the only one anyway.
He licks at salty skin, just to calm himself down, breathes deep and long. Alec beneath him does the same. There are no words, none needed. They know what they have, feel it through the bond. Jared is too unfocused to sort through all the emotions in his mind but he knows that the love he feels comes from both of them.
Then Alec starts moving his fingers inside Jared.
Slow, gentle, without real intent. It sends sparks through Jared though, makes his cock twitch where it lies in his and Alec’s seed between their bodies.
He doesn’t think he can get hard again but that doesn’t seem to interest his body much.
“God…,” he groans out, not sure if he wants Alec to stop or go on.
The pressure is building up slowly again, flesh getting hard, muscles tightening again. It’s just been a few minutes but Jared can feel the need again. Alec chuckles, kisses his temple and thankfully doesn’t stop what he’s doing.
Slow, deep strokes, fingers dipping deeper into his hot and exhausted body. They find the spot and stay there, stroke in slow circles - teasing and purposeful at the same time. Jared whimpers, writhes against the touch, away from it but not really. The pleasure-pain of oversensitive skin and nerves has him moan out loud and twitching again before he knows it’s happening.
He’s convulsing over Alec, just sort of lets go and curls his body around the other man’s. His cock pulses a second time, not much but he comes. His ass clenches around Alec’s fingers again, keeps them inside and locked. Jared’s vision turns white when Alec just strokes over the spot inside him one last time.
***
He blinks awake and sees nothing but darkness. For a second he almost panics. Then he sees the stars above him. It’s just night and not him losing his eyesight due to multiple orgasms.
Jared almost laughs as his own stupidity.
“You okay?” It’s whispered against his hair and Jared realizes his still plastered all over Alec, still mostly naked but with a blanket pulled over them now. Alec’s skin is warm beneath him. He can feel the slow thrum of satisfaction within Alec, grins at that.
“Yeah. Good. For now. Just tired.”
“Oh thank God, don’t think I’d be up for another round.”
Jared snorts, feels Alec’s chest move with the chuckle he hears a second later. Alec’s still naked as well, which Jared very much appreciates. It'lll give him better access later. He moves, wriggles out of his jeans completely and settles down again with one leg between Alec’s thighs, putting a light pressure where he wants to.
“Damn, Jay.” Alec sounds exhausted, but happy. Alec eases back a little, snuggles close instead.
“Thank you.”
“What for?”
“Being here for me. Despite everything. I... I know you are busy and.. I’m keeping you away from it …” He’s silenced by lips practically devouring his, not letting him come up for anything but air for a while.
When they stop, both are hard again.
“I love you, Jared. Of course, I’m here for you. Nothing else matters as much. Okay? Don’t worry about anything but us being here and getting you through this. Might even be fun,” Alec says with a smile in his voice.
Jared sighs, closes his eyes again and just enjoys the moment. The need, need, need, now, now, now is gone, the sated feeling and the slow thrum of content is all that’s left. But he knows it’ll be back soon. This has just been the foreplay to satisfy the urgent, desperate need.
And Alec will be there.
Alec will be there.
TBC
Author: the_milky_way
Genre: Dark Angel/RPS
Pairing: Alec/Jared
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~ 9.300
Beta: Thanks so much A.
Disclaimer: This story is fictional (not real, didn't happen). Not true in any way. I don't own anything. Dark Angel belongs to Fox and no money is being made out of this.
Summary:
Jared's feeling strange, detached and hyper aware of everything around him. Sure, he's an X5 but it doesn't explain why he's feeling horny all day round. Maybe Max's in heat and projecting? It sure as hell can't be him.
He feels strange most of the time these days, as if his body is walking in another direction, one he can’t follow, one he doesn’t know how to follow. He doesn’t know when it started and at first he tried to ignore it until the tug, the urge to do something became almost too strong. What he wants to do, what his body wants to do, Jared can’t tell, can’t identify. And it scares him a little how out of his element he feels.
Notes:
This was written for purequicksilver's birthday but is way too late. I'm sorry. *hides*
It's also part of the "The Long Way Home" verse. It's not really necessary to read the other parts but it might help with some things. This story can still be read as a standalone though. It's set after the end of "Long way Home" an d after "With the satellites failing prepare for ascension".
It's part of my schmoop_bingo card and fills the prompt day at the beach.
This has not been a good day so far. Jared has messed up way too many things already and people are starting to notice. For some reason it’s hard to concentrate, hard to block people out. It’s not like he isn’t used to his empathic abilities by now but somehow keeping his walls up and everyone else’s emotions out has become are very difficult thing to do these past few days.
It’s not like he can read thoughts, not when it’s not Alec and not when Alec isn’t being open on purpose. Jared just can feel other’s emotions or emotional states, needs to build up walls around his mind to not be flooded with every single feeling someone has in TC.
He feels strange most of the time these days, as if his body is walking in another direction, one he can’t follow, one he doesn’t know how to follow. He doesn’t know when it started and at first he tried to ignore it until the tug, the urge to do something became almost too strong. What he wants to do, what his body wants to do, Jared can’t tell, can’t identify. And it scares him a little how out of his element he feels.
Max has been looking at him funnily ever since he growled at her two days ago. Jared grimaces every time he thinks about it. She had been planning a mission with the members of the command center, deeply in conversation when Jared had walked in, carrying equipment and just wanting to see if Joshua or even Alec could help. She had just been standing there, close to Alec though. Too close for Jared's taste. Way too close.
Just the sight of Max touching Alec, a pat on the back, had Jared’s hairs standing up and him baring his teeth. He didn’t even realize what he had been doing until Alec had dragged him out of the room, a scowl on his face and eyes small angry slits. Yeah, okay so this hasn’t been his finest hour but Jared is as confused as everyone else apparently seems to be.
So Max has been looking at him, taxing and calculative, small smile present every single time Jared raises his eyebrows or asks what’s up. She doesn’t say anything really, just tells him he’ll find out soon enough. He’s not sure what to make out of that. Max’s never mysterious but she knows how to hide things and right now Jared just wants to jump her and throttle it of her. He thinks he might be going crazy.
Or his body is.
His body definitely is. It’s worse then it ever felt during puberty and Jared actually starts to think he’s going through that all over again. Who knows? Might even be one of those errant genes in his genome that has not reason to be there. He’s a freak after all and some things just can’t be predicted.
Logan managed to get a full genome screen on him after the thing with White had been over. Apparently there is no cat in him, no cat in the sense of cat anyway. No, they had to go and make it a tiger when they designed him. Jared still shivers at thoughts like those. He doesn’t want to think of himself as being designed. He was born by a real woman, was raised by real parents after all. Just because they sort of implanted things into his make up doesn’t make it any less real.
Anyway, Max smiles and sways off every time he dares to ask her. Sways! Jared has never seen her do that when he’s close, only ever when Logan is around. It’s confusing, sends strange vibes down his spine and makes his skin tingle with anticipation. It’s a little like torture.
Jared’s very confused, to say the least.
He wonders if she’s starting to get into heat. If that’s why she has to touch and sway and look all enticing. Which is the only reason why he sort of tries to sniff the air when she’s around, like he might actually smell something. He’ll blame Alec for that idea, talking about pheromones and stuff like that as if Jared hasn’t sat through every single biology class at his school and knew exactly what they were talking about.
Jared feels extremely embarrassed and very stupid when Mole catches him sniffing one day. He blushes like he hasn’t in a while, stutters through his words and forgets to keep his walls all up. He ends up crumbling to the floor by the impact of emotions that crash unfiltered into his mind. He doesn’t even have the chance to flee, just crashes down and bangs his head.
Alec’s not pleased when Jared wakes up again, asks what’s up and makes it so very hard for Jared to concentrate. Alec’s too close, sitting on Jared’s mattress, stroking skin and looking worried. Jared wants to lick the place where Alec’s neck meets his shoulder, wants to bite and claim. He doesn’t hear a single word Alec says until there are fingers snapped in front of his eyes.
Alec frowns, deep, concerned and looks a little helpless as well. Jared doesn’t know what to do, how to answer questions he doesn’t really know the answers to. So he claims lack of sleep and general tiredness due to the missions he’s now allowed to go. He can see it in Alec’s eyes that he’s not as convincing has he’d hoped but in the end Alec lets him sleep, leaves and doesn’t come back that evening.
It shouldn’t hurt this much. Jared knows Alec’s just doing what’s best for Jared. He needs time to get back on his feet after every crash. But then they both had thought the times of collapsing and uncontrollable outbreaks of emotions were over. Apparently not.
Alec has a lot on his hands these days. Busy with missions and with the Council, always trying to find the best solution to sustain Terminal City, always there for everyone else and their problems. Jared just wants to be held sometimes and it seems that even that is becoming a rare occasion now.
Sometimes Jared still feels insecure, unsure of his role in TC. Sure, he is some sort of counselor now, talks to people, teaches the kids how to deal with being a transgenic. He even works at command center, fixes the equipment when no one else knows how to, trains the teens with Alec. But he still doesn’t really know if he’s really needed or if he’s just getting those tasks because he’s connected to Alec.
Jared is still only 18, hasn’t been in TC all that long after all, just about a year now. Sometimes he feels older, experienced beyond his years due to the things he knows, has seen, and still sees when emotions crash in on him. He feels cursed sometimes, too. Especially when his abilities, his dreams show up full force and reduce him to a sobbing baby who needs Alec by his side all the time.
Jared has started to keep his episodes to himself since Alec started working with the Council again. Not that there have been many, just during the last few days he’s had problems concentrating, sort of forgets to put his walls up all the time, forgets the training Suma put him through. His too caught up in things his body does. Alec doesn’t need to know. There isn’t really a problem, so he’ll deal with it without burdening Alec with that as well. He feels enough as reliability as it is.
But he is not really careful enough in his tries to hide from everyone, mostly because his body is betraying big time. After the second time Max actually caught him being passed out things have become even more boring and less fun for Jared.
Max won’t let him go on missions even though he’s trained, Gem won’t let him tag along into the city and Mole won’t risk another fight with Max about letting Jared to do undercover work for him.
Sure, Jared can see the concerns but it’s not what he wants. He sometimes feels like a better babysitter when Max delegates him teacher’s duty once more and even that can be too much for him when he’s too exhausted from his dreams and the nausea attacks.
He doesn’t feel useless per se just a little under whelmed and maybe a bit disappointed as well.
***
So this has not been a good day so far and Jared is a little clueless and maybe a little aimless as well. Wanders the halls and tries to occupy him, tries hard to keep is walls up and his body in check.
He catches sight of himself on reflected on the glass of one of the broken doors and flinches. He looks gaunt, drawn in, like a freak that holes up in the basement and never sees the sun. Only, it’s the attic and he can’t stomach the sun much these days. He looks old and tired. Jared has no idea who he is anymore.
In Command Central he sees Max talking to Gem and Mole, wonders if he should ask for more work or just give up for the day. He’s messed up every single project he started and it’s not like he knows why and could change it. Probably not a good idea to ask for something new to screw up then. And really, feeling aimless is not really supporting his wish for more work anyway.
In the end Jared just takes some of the food cans Joshua scavenged a few days ago and vanishes into his tower. He likes to call it tower even though it’s really just a less decayed corner of the highest building in TC. He’s got the largest rooms though, packed full with scavenged and found things like mattresses pulled atop each other, a huge couch Mole brought a long one day, a closet and dressers, two tables and a variety of chairs.
He’s even got a kitchen now, a bar counter Max found somewhere along with a sink and he has running water. Jared’s still not sure how they managed that but it was a nice surprise to come home to that day. Even his shower works most of the time. He’s glad it’s hooked to a different pipe than Alec’s. Alec even calls Jared’s place luxurious, spends most his time there anyway when he is in TC at all.
The place is Jared’s and it’s home now.
Jared has painted the walls the best way he could, hid the metal gray walls beneath coats of dark reds and greens. This place is the best he could hope for, enforced walls, a metal in them that shields Jared from most of TC’s emotions when he’s not able to do so himself. It’s his save haven and mostly far enough away.
Sometimes a little too far away.
He’s not sure he has friends beside Alec, Joshua, Gem and Max. Maybe Original Cindy as well; and Dalton. But all of them have a place in TC, have jobs to do, are busy. So they rarely come all the way up to his rooms. So when he’s up in his tower he’s mostly alone. Truly alone sometimes even, when TC isn’t as crowded as it usually is, when teams are out on missions or looking for work and he’s sequestered away in his rooms, then he can’t feel anything but his own emotions.
He puts the plate on the kitchen counter. He isn’t really hungry but he knows he needs to eat something today. Since his body is on a warpath with itself Jared’s hasn’t really been able to enjoy any kind of amenities like Joshua’s chocolate or really, food at all. Looking at food makes him nauseous for some reason. His taste buts are rebelling, too and his sense of smell seems to be off at the most inappropriate moments. Jared has given up trying to figure it out, Maybe he’s allergic to something, not really a way to find out around here.
He’s not even sure what’s on his plate anymore, something green and brown, something congealed and strange looking now. With a small flick of his wrist the plate slithers over the counter’s surface and too far away but enough for him not having to see it anymore. Or even smell it.
A lurch of disgust waves through his stomach making him flinch and stumble over to his couch. Jared flops down with a groan, head pounding and a strange sort of arousal spinning through him. Dizziness settles in him, makes everything blurry and confusing. His stomach lurches and Jared doesn’t know what to do anymore but to curl up on his lumpy sofa. His muscles cramp and he groans, loud and long. No one will here him anyway. No one is close enough at this time of the day and he’s not even trying to call Alec up.
Their bond is an undercurrent in Jared’s mind, always there, always ready for him to tap into and connect. Others are there sometimes as well; when emotions are rolling high in TC Jared has to fight hard to keep his walls up. And sometimes it just gets too much, too loud and then he kind of fades away, protects himself and doesn’t let anyone close.
No one has noticed it yet. Jared tries not to feel too lonely when he thinks about it. Times are hectic, busy and he’s just not really all that important anyway. He refuses to feel too depressed about it all. It’s not him and he has other problems than his own emotions running havoc. His body doing the same for example.
The sun is vanishing behind the other buildings, leaving only small slips of sunlight in the room. He should switch on the lights, should move and maybe go to bed. But he can’t move, everything feels out of order, out of balance. His eyes burn, his ears ache and his skin feels like it is one fire. He wants to rip his clothes away, rut against the cool surface of the couch and just let got.
Suddenly everything is overwhelmingly intense. Smells, colors, noises. Everything crash into him with tenfold intensity and he moans out loud again. There has never been anything like this before. He’s never felt so out of control, so driven by his... instincts.
There is this need. The need to be with someone, the need to be with Alec. His mind whirls and he can’t think, just feels, just has the instinct to guide him now. He moans again, feels it vibrating through his body, sends his senses into overdrive and Jared is lost.
He longs to be touched, to touch, lick and bite. The urge to just let go is so strong that Jared doesn’t even feel himself opening up. His mind is wide open, free for every emotion and transmitting his own at the same time. The pounding in his head intensifies as well. He feels himself slide down to the floor, unable to stop his body from moving, from slipping away.
His walls are down completely now. All the way out and all the way. Emotions, feelings, images. Everything is there. Everything is in his head.
Hot, white flashes of pain rake through him. And lust. He’s hot, heated skin and shivers leave him not time to adjust, to realize that something is really, really wrong right now. He slides down even more, feels his cheek press against the floor now, groans at the cool material against his heated skin. Then he stops moving, just lies there and writhes.
Images flash through his mind, make him dizzy, nauseous again with their ferocity and force. There are ants crawling up his leg, make him twitch and writhe even more. He can’t hold still, needs the friction so much it hurts.
Jared is so hard that he can’t stand the material of his pants against his cock anymore. It hurts so much and he wants to scream, wants it gone. He wants to come, needs the release, the relief. He’s on the edge, one step away from falling but his body doesn’t take it, holds him right there, swing free and dangerously close to losing himself in it.
Then he’s not alone anymore.
Someone’s there. Alec. Alec is in the room, in his head, calming him down or at least trying to. It’s soothing somewhat but not much. Jared needs more, needs touch, and needs to come so bad. Alec’s thoughts are like caresses to his aching mind, gentle and smooth. It helps to get his walls back up after a while. The words, the thoughts, the just being there.
Then only his own thoughts, his own emotions are left. Swirling aimlessly and wild.
Alec is closer now. Jared feels it, smells it, wants him even closer. He moans, reaches out and grunts when he only connects with the table in front of the couch. He needs to move, closer to Alec. Still needs the release. It hurts but then it aches so good. It’s like a fog in his mind, clouded vision, clouded by desire and need.
He craves Alec, Alec’s touch and taste. Desperately and immediate. Like a tidal wave that’s just continuing on instead of going back and forth. His hips are moving, almost frantically against the ground, set off whimpers and shudders and groans.
Lust and pain crash through him, overwhelming his body once more.
Then there are hands on him, grabbing, dragging him close and away from the ground he’d been bucking into.
Alec. Finally. Touching.
There are words, whispered against his skin; body held close to another, hands running up and down his back but never come close to where Jared desperately needs them. He needs so much, needs so bad.
The second Alec’s lips touch his skin Jared’s world goes black. He seizes, bucks and just lets go.
***
When he comes to, everything is quiet.
Not really quiet but the noise in his head is absent, leaves him with only his own heartbeat pulsing in his ears. There are no other thoughts but his own. No other emotions he has to suppress or get away from.
It’s just him… and Alec.
Alec is there.
Jared blinks, tries to open his eyes and groans out loud when he looks straight into the blue, bright sky. The sun’s out and it’s not as cold as it has been lately but Jared only registers the light and how it hurts his brain.
“Ssh… It’s alright. You gonna be okay. Just stay still for a while.”
There something singing down his skin, like a spark, lightning-fast and almost painful. Lust lingers beneath it all, pushing to the surface with a power that’s almost too much again. But it’s not urgent. Not yet. It’s just there.
Jared groans again, turns into the gentle touch ion his cheek. Alec. It’s all Alec he can feel now, on his skin, in his mind. Soothing thoughts and familiar smell. Everything is Alec. Jared loves it.
He sniffles a little, takes it all in, revels in the fact that he can smell the difference in Alec’s unique sent as soon as it happens. There is a low moan above him and Jared smirks a little. His body needs Alec to be on the same page. He can’t be the only in this, can’t be alone.
“Damn Jay. Of course you had to go and do the extreme version again. That’s just... that’s so you. Man, you should have told me,” it’s said in gentle, soothing tones, not accusing but worried nonetheless.
“S…Sorry. I… What’s happening? Alec? How long have I been out?” Jared turns a little, sighs at the feel of Alec’s hand settling at the nape of his neck, massaging the taut muscles slightly. It feels good. Too good maybe because Jared can feel himself moving closer, canting his hips. He hears Alec snort and smiles a little.
“A night and half the day today. It’s okay. And well, what’s happening... Uh… Heat, Jay. You’re in heat.”
Huh?
“What?”
Alec snorts a real laugh now, scratches along Jared’s skin and Jared knows it’s an unconscious movement, just to settle them both, ground them in the moment, have them as close as possible. He’s somewhat ashamed at the relief he feels at the fact that Alec seems to need the contact as much as he does.
“Yeah. Seems like your tiger pulled through after all. I’ve never been hit by pheromones that hard. Nice one, Jay.”
Jared shrugs, because what can he say to that? They are quiet for a while, just are, not words needed. Jared has missed this. Just being with Alec, touching talking, feeling. Just Alec and him, no one else, no problems to be solved. Figures, that yet another problem is the thing that brings them together again.
It’s then, him lying there, cradled against Alec, that he feels the surface he’s lying on for the first time. It feels strange at first, soft and still hard at the same time. Subconsciously he’s headdesking for not being able to realize it but he can’t say where they are.
So he asks.
“Where?”
“We are? At the beach. Had to get you away from TC. Your breakdown didn’t only put you flat out but affected a lot of people the second I opened the door. Man, when your walls are and you are high on pheromones you can be quite the biological weapon,” Alec snorts, half joking, half serious.
Jared blushes. Great, just another thing to label him as a freak.
“Sorry.” It’s mumbled against Alec’s shirt where Jared is hiding his face against. He can’t face the world right now, not even Alec.
“Hey. No. Come on, Jay. It’s okay. No need to be sorry. Max like, too when she’s in heat. Affects a lot of suitable mates. And well, I guess you didn’t even know,” Alec says quietly, pulls Jared closer and rests his chin on the top of Jared’s head.
“Why didn’t you say something? Must have started a while ago the way you went down. And considering the way you are affecting me right now it hasn’t even reached its peak yet.”
Jared shrugs, moans at the way the movement has Alec’s fingers sliding through his hair, scratching his skin. The touch is soothing but arousing, too. He digs his fingers into the sand beneath him, lets himself slide down until his head is resting on Alec’s lap and Jared can stretch out. He misses the warmth of Alec’s body against his but he needs to get away a little.
Lust is singing through him stronger again, making him dizzy and maybe a little nauseous as well. But he doesn’t want to lose all the contact with Alec so he sighs when Alec goes back to combing through his hair.
The sun is warm on his skin. He’s not fever hot yet, not flushed with lust and desire, so he can actually enjoy where he is at least a little bit. The sand is cool but not cold, which is surprising since it’s October already.
Jared feels calm, safe, despite the constant need thrumming through him, telling him to act on it. He stays where he is, feels his blood rush through his veins, feels Alec tense up beneath his head but not pulling away.
“Didn’t wanna tell you. It’s... embarrassing. You were so stressed; look dead on your feed. I... I thought I could handle it. Didn’t think.. think it was important.” Jared mumbles, already preparing to fall back asleep. He sees spots and sparks projected on his closed eyelids, doesn’t remember when he closed them again or if he really had them open for a while.
He hears Alec sigh, though, wishes he was strong enough to open his eyes, because he wants to look at Alec. But he fears what might happen if he does, feels the burn in his blood, the need to touch lick, bite. To claim.
“Jay… I … It’s been stressful. I know. I’m sorry. I hadn’t realized… We haven’t or touched in days and I didn’t even notice. I’m sorry Jared.”
“Alec…”
Fingers, clamped in his hair, go back to stroking and petting. Jared likes that, loves it even. It feels nice, always right and he wants Alec to go on with this forever. It keeps the arousal at the right level, is soothing enough for Jared to be able to suppress any other urges for now.
“I… I shouldn’t have left you alone for so long. Max warned me, said she could smell pheromones. But she didn’t really know what it was, said it smelled different. Tiger,” Alec adds with a snort and Jared would protest if he didn’t find it somewhat cool to be called this by Alec. Definitely better than all the ideas Joshua and Mole came up with. Why those two were talking about pet names and nicknames still escaped Jared’s knowledge.
He snorts at Alec’s words, curls closer to the body beneath him again. It’s like his own body can’t decide if it wants to be as close or as far away from Alec as possible.
“Thought she… that she was the one in heat. Looked funny at me. Looked funny to me. All wrong colors and smells,” Jared speaks against the skin of Alec’s hip, that someone how got exposed by Jared’s squirming. The body shivers beneath Jared’s cheek and he grins.
Then Alec laughs, out loud and happy, amused as all hell. Alec’s fingers slide down Jared’s neck, grace his shoulders when they slip underneath the fabric of his shirt. Jared shivers almost violently, moans and tries to not jump Alec then and there. He breathes against Alec’s skin, bucks his hips seeking friction.
“Sssh… calm down. We’ll get you through.”
“How?”
“Have to let the urgent phase pass. I don’t know how long it’ll be, seeing as I have no idea about tigers and mating or you know… tiger sex.”
Jared giggles through his moans, manages to settle down again when Alec just keeps on combing through his hair. Hearing Alec talking about sex, no matter the situation, makes him horny every single time. Now is not an exception.
“I’ll help you, Jay. I’ll be there. Then, when I’m sure we’re not gonna hurt each other… Guess you can call if fucking. Primal, need-based fucking. You’ll take me with you, with your hormones and I guess through our bond as well.”
Jared nods, moves his head against Alec’s skin, enjoys his cheek sliding along. Then he bites through the fabric and grins at the little squeak he gets out of Alec.
“Naughty, Jay.”
Jared does it again, can’t stop himself, can’t stop the need surging through him again. Moves his hips and almost whine when Alec’s hand’s stop him.
“Missed it. Not… not the heat. Just us. Us, alone and together.”
Alec’s hands on him stop briefly and then pull him even closer. The need is like a tidal wave, coming in and retreating back, crashing down on him only to let him hanging. Jared’s a little desperate there and Alec just holding him isn’t really what he wants right now. Friction is what he’s seeking, what he needs. Not getting it hurts in so many different ways that he needs to concentrate on something else. Talking to Alec, focusing on the water and the sand he can see from his position, is helping a little.
Alec sighs, puff of breath ruffling Jared’s hair, sending shivers through his body.
“I missed it, too. And I’m sorry, Jay. I’m not really used to… well to be in a relationship. Never had a real one, well a long one, before. It’s new. I guess I take things for granted that really shouldn’t be. I’m here now. I promise, we’ll get you through it. Won’t let you live though that all alone. Not the way I had to.”
Jared doesn’t miss the underlying note of hurt in Alec’s voice, presses a kiss into warm skin and is so very grateful that Alec is there for him. He doesn’t want to imagine, doesn’t want to think about what might have happened to him if he’d still been alone by the time heat hit. There is no way around the fact that deciding to go all the way up north to TC had been a good decision.
“Will... Will it hurt?” He has to know. After the last few days, after what happened this morning Jared’s scared. He doesn’t know what his body is going through, doesn’t know what will happen next.
“Hurt?” Alec sounds confused; worried even more now, tugs Jared closer, and draws circles on his back. Fingers scratch lightly over soft fabric, over skin and through tangled hair. It’s all Jared can do not purr, not to just move and take what his body is demanding.
“It hurt so much when I just let go. In TC. It made me crash my walls and all those emotions where there. Too many of them and my own where all over the place. Guess it’s why I passed out. I needed so much and it was never enough. But then it was too much at once.”
Jared shivers at the thought of fire racing through his veins, of pains and aches wrecking his body. He remembers the overwhelming need to do something, to be with someone. The urge to just let go, the urge to just come. He remembers the sticky feeling in his jeans, how hot and wet it was just before he passed out.
Jared thinks he should be embarrassed about it, about the fact that Alec apparently changed his clothes before he took them to the beach. He just can’t bring himself to care. This, well this is apparently just normal for the freak bodies and he’s slowly getting used to the fact that he probably will never be able to predict what his body will do next.
So he just sighs in defeat and curls himself closer to the warm body beneath him, sucks in a breath when his groin rubs against Alec’s thigh. The need is thrumming slowly through his body, there and present but not urgent. Not yet.
“Oh... damn, Jared. How… Did it happen often? Tell me. Please.”
“Sometimes. I was alone most of the times anyway, so now reason to tell. I mean… I... didn’t know what it was,” he whispers against skin and fabric, takes in the scent and how it changes with every new revelation. Alec’s worried. Worried and aroused. And there is guilt as well. Jared wants to lick it away. None of them knew this would happen. No one is at fault here.
He says as much, smiles at the way Alec sighs and how it’s just a sign for a suppressed protest.
“I couldn’t go into TC for hours afterwards. All my guards where down. Everything was fucked up. I felt high and dizzy and it hurt.”
He feels Alec nod, feels the movement and the skin against his lips. Lets his tongue snake out and taste. Salty and strong. Alec just there. Senses seem stronger, more focused somehow. Jared likes it, likes the way he can taste Alec like that.
“No one’s here, Jay. We are alone. Just us. You and me. I had Logan drive us up here. We have a tent and supplies for a few days. He’ll be back in a week. Should be enough time I think. Still no idea how tigers work in this.”
There is amusement in Alec’s voice, almost overshadowing the worry but not quite.
“Logan’s saving my ass again, huh?” Jared grins a little. He sort of likes Logan now, gets along with him, can actually talk to him about things. Might have been a good idea to talk to him about this as well. Jared suddenly feels guilty, like too much of a teenager to be able to deal with it all.
“Didn’t wanna worry you.”
“I know. I know, Jared. But... you shouldn’t care about that. It’s kinda... well it’s kinda my job, you know? Me taking care of you. As your... uh partner… boyfriend… I want to do that anyway. We take care of each other. Just come to me, okay?”
Jared tries to blink away the moisture in his eyes. There is no reason to cry, just stupid hormones and all that. It’s just the first time ever that Alec used the word; describe Jared’s position in his life. Jared has never been a boyfriend before.
His mind goes in circles, crashes so suddenly that he doesn’t have a chance to come up with a coherent reply, a reply Alec deserves. He just mumbles fragments of words and hopes Alec gets it.
“’kay… Tired. So… tired.”
And Alec does.
“Sleep then. It’s okay, Jared. I’m here.”
Fingers, gentle and soothing, pull him under. The last thing he knows is that he feels safe, loved. Alec will find a way to help him through it all.
***
The sun is still warm on his skin when Jared woke again. It’s lower in the sky making it more yellow-green than blue. He takes a deep breath and registers for the first time the salted sea air around him. It’s different from the air in Seattle, heavier somehow, cooler. They must be further north than he thought.
He opens his eyes, sure that this time he’ll manage not to flinch in pain. He takes a look around from where he’s still lying curled up and gasps at the scenery around him. It’s like nothing he’s ever seen before. Wild, untouched, rough and still so very beautiful.
Deep, dense woods surround the sandy beach they are on. It’s more like a little bay than just a beach. Sandy strip of sand in a half moon, bordered off by trees on one side and water on the other. It looks like the total opposite to what Jared’s mind is right now, calm and peaceful. Tranquil.
He’s lying on a blanket now, shifted from before, not across Alec’s body anymore. The tent is up, just about in his field of vision and he wonders how long he’d been asleep this time or if Alec had put it up before already. He rolls over, slowly, carefully and takes in the rest of the view. It’s close to perfect, Jared thinks and smiles.
It feels secure. Secluded enough. Far enough away from everything and everyone.
“You’re awake.”
Jared turns again, towards the voice and smiles at the legs that are in front of him now. Tilts his head up a little and smiles even wider.
“Hi.”
Alec snorts and drops down on the blanket next to him.
“Hey. You’re in a good mood.”
“Slept,” Jared yawns. He feels good. Calmer now. But high and elated at the same time. Happy.
“That you did. How are you feeling? Anything you want? Need?”
The laugh that breaks free surprises him but he doesn’t do anything to suppress it. There are so many things he wants right now. Needs. His blood is pumping need through his veins faster than he’s ever felt it. Alec being close makes it boil, makes him dizzy with it.
Jared feels awesome, though. There is no pain, no urgent desperation, just need and longing moving through him, making him reach out and stroke up Alec’s leg.
“Want? Do I want something? Yes. You. Just you.”
There is a chuckle, warm and deep, and Jared smiles. It’s all he can think about right now, having Alec close, moving just a bit so that he can straddle the other man. But Alec’s just sitting there, looking down at him and doesn’t move.
“Later, Jay. Promise. Right now you need to eat. Don’t want you to black out again because you are hungry or something.” The smile is still there, soft and gentle, but so is the concern. Jared doesn’t know what he did to deserve Alec but he’s glad he’s not alone in this world. The thought of food though makes his stomach clench painfully. Food is not very high on his priority list.
“No food, Alec. Can’t stand it. It tastes funny.”
He sees Alec nod, figures it’s not unheard of and silently sighs in relief. Because that had him worried, the way his body had refused any sustenance during the last few days. Only water and apples had been okay.
“Just a little. Try it, Jared. Knowing there wasn’t real food in a while.”
Alec knows him too well. Knows that food is the first thing Jared sacrifices when he thinks he’s endangering others. Sacrificing food also means not giving his body much needed energy but that really hasn’t been on his mind lately. Food just isn’t important.
Alec moves then, closer but not too close. It moves Jared’s hand as well, away from the warm skin he’d been stroking all this time. Jared sighs in frustration, feels the loss of the connection in his mind. Feels alone and starting to succumb to the thrum of need running through him. He wants to touch again, needs the reassurance of it, of Alec being there.
“I had chocolate. Joshua brought it.”
“That’s no real food, Jared,” Alec says with a snort and turns around to tug something out of the backpack resting next to him. Jared hadn’t even seen that before. Alec looks a little lost there, unsure of what to say to Jared or what to do next. There is a package in his hands and he’s moving like he wants to hand it over but doesn’t know if he should.
“I know. Just... everything else makes me nauseous. But… uh... I can try.”
“Thank you.”
It sounds so sincere and relieved that Jared smiles when he takes the package from Alec’s hands. They both hiss when their fingers touch and Alec lingers a little before he moves back and digs into the pack again.
“I’ll try if I can have you afterwards,” Jared smirks, almost leers and isn’t really sure where this is coming from. It’s not really him. Sure, he’s 18 and horny but this is something completely out of everything he’s ever experienced.
Alec groans, rubs a hand over his face and just stares out over the ocean for a minute or two. Then he shakes his head, glances at Jared and looks down. He looks like he’s embarrassed and flattered at the same time. Jared finds it really, really cute and totally hot.
“Yeah… Just yeah… okay. I... I want you, too, Jared. You are a force here, dragging me along and there isn’t really anything I want to do against it.”
The words alone would make Jared fall for Alec again. The send warm tingles through every nerve ding in his body and he can’t resist anymore. He moves in to steal a kiss and groans when he meets warm, supple lips that don’t resist at all. He feels his hormones surging, raging inside of him, feels himself bracing for the pain and moans when there is none.
Jared deepens the kiss. Suckles on flesh and uses teeth to tease. Alec’s not protesting at all. When they break apart Alec’s green eyes are glazed over, are almost dark with lust. This is what Jared wants to see. He doesn’t want Alec to hold back anymore, needs to smell the arousal as much as feel it, needs all his senses to be tuned into Alec.
The skin tastes salty, like the air around them. Smells like sun and water and wind. Smells like Alec and need and want. It’s the perfect mixture and Jared laps it up, sucks on skin and grazes his teeth over the spot afterwards.
Alec is holding him close now, clutching his hips and fingers slipping between waistband and Jared’s skin. It’s not enough but a step towards what Jared wants. Alec’s hand on him, Alec’s lips and teeth. He wants Alec.
“God, Jared,” Alec groans, moves to pull Jared completely into his lap. Jared loves how Alec is going with the plan and then mewls in disappointment when Alec moves his head away from Jared’s searching lips, follows the skin he’d been attached to.
“Eat, Jared!”
Jared hums against Alec’s neck, licks the skin again and again.
“Am eating.”
“Not me, Jay. The food,” Alec whispers, sounds like he isn’t able to use his voice anymore. Jared would feel smug about it all if he wasn’t so focused on getting laid, on getting Alec’s hands deeper into his pants. Jared feels his fingers digging into Alec’s back where he’s trying to hold on to him, is sort of aware that he might be bruising the skin beneath the shirt. But he can’t care about that right now.
His hips move without him doing anything, at least not consciously, rub against hard muscles and seek friction that needs to be there right now. It’s just now, now, now running through his mind. Need now. And Jared is beyond caring how desperate that makes him.
His calm acceptance from just a few minutes before is gone, drowned in a sea of need and longing. The urgency is there again and he can’t stop it. Not now.
“Come on, Jared. You need to eat…”
Jared almost comes when there is something soft and wet pressed against his lips. Groans out loud and bucks his hips. It takes him a second to realize what it is.
Melon. He hasn’t had melon in years and it actually pushes the need back a little. He moans when the flavor spreads across his tongue, reaches the last corners of his mouth. Juice is dribbling from his lips and he licks them slowly, to savor each and every last bit of it.
“Or have sex with the food,” Alec chuckles, sounding strained and barely in control anymore. It’s still warm even though the sun is about to vanish, or it’s just Jared’s high metabolism and the hormones wreaking havoc within his body. But Jared needs to get out of his clothes. Now.
He struggles a little, gets his head and Alec’s hands tangled in the shirt when he tries to rip it over his head.
“Whoa, Jared. Calm down. I’m here. It’s okay.” Alec’s hands travel up and down his heated skin, scratch along his spine and pull him closer again. Jared scrabbles for Alec’s shirt now, pushes it up and moans when his fingers slide over hard muscles. He wants to touch. Needs to.
Jared just needs right now. Simple as that. Needs Alec, needs relief, needs to move his hips. He’s never felt like this before, not even during puberty. He’s never had his senses on high alert like that, taking everything around him in and tenfold the experience. It’s amazing. It’s overwhelming.
And his mind is wide open. There is only Alec. Alec’s love, Alec’s want. Arousal and a little bit worry mixed with adoration. If Jared could he’d mock the man endlessly about it. But as it is he’s about to lose his mind and nothing but friction counts right now.
Lust and desire are clouding his mind but he knows he’s safe. Alec is there, makes it easier to deal with it all and Jared just lets go.
***
Skin on skin, heated, slippery with sweat and it’s still not enough. Hands slide over muscles, scratch and pause, and then clutch tightly, holding on. The tang of salty air mixes with that of arousal, makes it headier. Sweeter somehow.
Jared’s lost in a haze, follows instincts and needs. No thoughts spared, all energy is focused on the need to find relief, to complete this… task his body is set on. Just one purpose, nothing else counts.
Alec’s moving with him, pulling him closer, bringing their groins together and basically just lets Jared do what he wants. Jared lets his hands roam freely, feels each and every moan from the body beneath him. Draws them out like they are fuelling his need, make him go on.
Alec’s hands slip lower, dip fully beneath the waistband and Jared groans out loud when the fabric pulls tight across his hard cock. It hurts but it in a good way. He moans against bare skin, licks and sucks and tries to open his bands at the same time. He needs Alec’s hands elsewhere, lower, has to give them access right now.
The button pops with a sound Jared doesn’t even register; the feeling of the pressure partly gone is just way too overwhelming. Fingers on his waist tuck at the fabric, at his underwear as well and Jared’s breath hitches painfully when his cock is finally freed from its confines. It lies hard and hot against his belly, trapped between him and Alec.
There isn’t even a thought about it before Jared has Alec free as well.
Skin in Skin again, more heated and more sensitive this time.
“Fuck, Jared.”
They topple over, or rather Alec topples backwards and Jared follows him, ends up squashed against Alec’s naked chest with both their erection trapped between them. Their groans mix with the sound of the crashing waves.
Then and there it’s the first time all day Jared actually hears the waves crashing onto the beach, turns his head and stares at the white foam rolling out over wet, dark sand. Rolls his hips just like that, burns with the need for more.
“Need. ‘Lec. Now. Now. Come on. Touch me. Please. Please.” Just words tumbling from his lips, no real thoughts but still a way to make his need known. This burning need within him that threatens to consume him alive. It’s too much.
Hips move, wet streaks of pre-come painted on already slippery skin. Friction there against the skin, so needed and still not enough. Flushed skin in front of his eyes, eyes narrowed slits with green shining through, Jared sees it all, takes it in, is relieved when everything moves out of focused again just as Alec moves his hips as well.
“Got you. Got you, Jay. Tell me… what’ya need. Tell me.”
Alec sounds as wrecked as Jared feels. He looks gorgeous in the twilight; it’s still something that registers in Jared’s hazy mind.
“Hands. Just... you. Need you. In me…,” Jared pants against lips that moved and suck him in the second the touch again.
And then Alec’s hands move, tuck the jeans lower, down to Jared’s thighs, pulling the underwear along with them. It’s just anticipation of what’s to come but Jared feels himself clench and then rock his hips down against Alec.
He can’t hold himself propped on Alec’s shoulders any longer, mourns the loss of touch but lets his hands slip down in to the sand, clenching it hard between his fingers, clawing at it to just have something to hold on to. The move brings him closer to Alec, lets him move up a little as well and it’s just perfect.
The wet tip of his cock slides along Alec’s stomach, catches in the ridges of its muscles and Jared whines, long and deep. It’s good. So good and still not enough.
“Come on... Alec… just... please.”
Finger tips move lower, nails scratch along the way until they reach the cleft between Jared’s cheeks.
“Yes… please. ‘Lec,” he almost chokes on his own words, whines and dips his head to rest against the cool sand. This way Alec’s able to attach his mouth to Jared’s shoulder again and it feels great.
Red heat surges up through Jared the second Alec’s finger breaches him. Just a little, just testing and teasing but Jared bucks his hips backwards anyway. He moves fast, so fast that Alec has no chance to tease any longer. The finger slips in, almost all the way and Jared shouts in relief.
This is what he needs. This is what he wants.
“Shit, Jay. Your body... it’s amazing,” Alec whispers, moves his finger slow but deliberate. Jared sighs, breath panting and hitching. He needs more. So much more.
Alec pulls out again, massages the puckered muscle with slow strokes, tucks Jared’s jeans even lover with his free hand. More access and Jared whimpers again. Alec’s lips and other hand on his back are soothing, reassuring but Jared needs more right now, snaps his hips and moans against his arm, bites down in the skin to keep from shouting.
“All wet for me, Jay. Imagine. Just waiting for me.” The words barely register but Jared feels what Alec means, clenches his muscles and feels Alec’s finger slipping into his body even further. Just another freak thing his body apparently does, preparing itself during heart. Jared’s too far gone to even care about it.
“More. Need... need more.”
Movements are frantic now, uncontrolled and just primal. It’s good though, he gets the friction he needs, trapped against Alec’s erection and his own body. Gets the stimulation he wants from Alec’s fingers, two of them now, moving in about out of his body.
“You always loved it. Fingering you. Swear it’s getting you off more than my cock. Gotta get complexes from it,” Alec bites out between licks and sucks against his shoulder.
“No...oo... No. Just... feels good. All you. Need you.. just now... need this.”
“Fuck, Jared. Feels good.”
He can feel it all, can feel what Alec’s feeling. It’s just there, in his mind and he doesn’t even try to keep them out. He needs it, needs to know that Alec is there with him. Alec’s hips move against his own, cock sliding over Jared’s every single time. He needs it as much as Jared does, it’s mutual and perfect.
The fingers hit the spot Jared wants them so desperately to find. Hit it over and over again, fast and hard, just what Jared needs right now. He couldn’t stand gentle and slow.
The hand twists, just so, just right and this time Jared doesn’t hold the shout back. His hips jerk, hard, rough and he feels Alec lose it between them. Just the scent of Alec’s come is enough for Jared. The scent and the emotions flooding his mind, not able to block them off not wanting to.
He rears up, back bowed backwards, hands clenched hard in the sand and drives himself onto Alec’s fingers.
And those fingers moving in him make it so much more intense.
He comes hard, body twitching and moving, no way to stand still, trying to get away from the stimulation and wanting to keep close to it. His eyes pop open when he almost can’t take it anymore, looks down and locks his gaze onto Alec’s half lidded one - moves through the last waves of his orgasm.
“So beautiful, Jay.”
Pleasure is throbbing through him, makes his heartbeat pulse in his head and blood rush in his ears. His cock is still twitching when Jared sinks down onto - or really into Alec’s body. The sound of the waves and their harsh breathes are the sounds the almost lull Jared under.
Then Alec’s about to slip out and Jared whines, licks the skin closest to his mouth and stays splayed out over Alec’s body. He doesn’t want it to be over, doesn’t want to lose the contact even though the urgency, the desperation is gone. Wants to feel Alec there for just a little while longer.
“Don’t. Just stay like this… for a bit.” He buries his head against Alec’s neck too embarrassed to look up. This isn’t like him and still it feels right.
Alec doesn’t answer, holds him closer though with his free arm. Jared melts into the touch, snuggles close and closes his eyes again. He’s never felt this close to another person in his life and he thinks Alec will be the only one anyway.
He licks at salty skin, just to calm himself down, breathes deep and long. Alec beneath him does the same. There are no words, none needed. They know what they have, feel it through the bond. Jared is too unfocused to sort through all the emotions in his mind but he knows that the love he feels comes from both of them.
Then Alec starts moving his fingers inside Jared.
Slow, gentle, without real intent. It sends sparks through Jared though, makes his cock twitch where it lies in his and Alec’s seed between their bodies.
He doesn’t think he can get hard again but that doesn’t seem to interest his body much.
“God…,” he groans out, not sure if he wants Alec to stop or go on.
The pressure is building up slowly again, flesh getting hard, muscles tightening again. It’s just been a few minutes but Jared can feel the need again. Alec chuckles, kisses his temple and thankfully doesn’t stop what he’s doing.
Slow, deep strokes, fingers dipping deeper into his hot and exhausted body. They find the spot and stay there, stroke in slow circles - teasing and purposeful at the same time. Jared whimpers, writhes against the touch, away from it but not really. The pleasure-pain of oversensitive skin and nerves has him moan out loud and twitching again before he knows it’s happening.
He’s convulsing over Alec, just sort of lets go and curls his body around the other man’s. His cock pulses a second time, not much but he comes. His ass clenches around Alec’s fingers again, keeps them inside and locked. Jared’s vision turns white when Alec just strokes over the spot inside him one last time.
***
He blinks awake and sees nothing but darkness. For a second he almost panics. Then he sees the stars above him. It’s just night and not him losing his eyesight due to multiple orgasms.
Jared almost laughs as his own stupidity.
“You okay?” It’s whispered against his hair and Jared realizes his still plastered all over Alec, still mostly naked but with a blanket pulled over them now. Alec’s skin is warm beneath him. He can feel the slow thrum of satisfaction within Alec, grins at that.
“Yeah. Good. For now. Just tired.”
“Oh thank God, don’t think I’d be up for another round.”
Jared snorts, feels Alec’s chest move with the chuckle he hears a second later. Alec’s still naked as well, which Jared very much appreciates. It'lll give him better access later. He moves, wriggles out of his jeans completely and settles down again with one leg between Alec’s thighs, putting a light pressure where he wants to.
“Damn, Jay.” Alec sounds exhausted, but happy. Alec eases back a little, snuggles close instead.
“Thank you.”
“What for?”
“Being here for me. Despite everything. I... I know you are busy and.. I’m keeping you away from it …” He’s silenced by lips practically devouring his, not letting him come up for anything but air for a while.
When they stop, both are hard again.
“I love you, Jared. Of course, I’m here for you. Nothing else matters as much. Okay? Don’t worry about anything but us being here and getting you through this. Might even be fun,” Alec says with a smile in his voice.
Jared sighs, closes his eyes again and just enjoys the moment. The need, need, need, now, now, now is gone, the sated feeling and the slow thrum of content is all that’s left. But he knows it’ll be back soon. This has just been the foreplay to satisfy the urgent, desperate need.
And Alec will be there.
Alec will be there.
TBC