Fic: "The Long Way Home Part 6 A", Jared/Alec, R
Fic title: "The Long Way Home Part 6A
Author: the_milky_way
Genre: Dark Angel/RPS
Pairing: Alec/X5!Jared
Rating: R
Word Count: 5700
Beta: Thank you to A. for the help.
Disclaimer: This story is fictional (not real, didn't happen). Not true in any way. I don't own anything. Dark Angel belongs to Fox and no money is being made out of this.
Summary:
It’s the pain that brings him back, that lets him groan out and cling tighter to the body that is so close to him. He doesn’t know where he is but it’s cold and snow is coming down heavily. The cold air stings on his skin and in his nose when he tries to take a breath.
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Previous Parts: Part 1 * Part 2 A * Part 2 B * Part 3 A * Part 3 B * Part 4 * Part 5
It’s the pain that brings him back, that lets him groan out and cling tighter to the body that is so close to him. He doesn’t know where he is but it’s cold and snow is coming down heavily. The cold air stings on his skin and in his nose when he tries to take a breath.
Breathing in general is a difficult concept for him right now. His chest only expands that much without shooting jolts of pain through his entire body. At first he doesn’t even hear the whimpers he is making. Everything is blurry and unfocused. He doesn’t know what’s happening but he doesn’t have the strength or the energy to struggle. So he just slumps back against whoever it is that is so close when it becomes apparent that he won’t be let go off.
“Ssssh, it’s okay. I got you. I got you.” The voice sounds familiar, soothing but he is too out of it to recognize it. Flashes of faces, of people around him coming too close, things in their hands and pain are all he can focus in.
A yell of pain is ripped from him when the body close to him moves him the wrong way and the sobs that follow can’t be just his. Tears are streaking down his face; he feels their hot tracks against his chilled skin, against the snow melting on his face.
He is being carried, can tell that much from looking through slit eyes and seeing the trees move by in a curious angle. Out of instinct he trusts the person carrying him, buries his face in the crook of neck he finds when he turns his head. The scent that hits him is so familiar that he whimpers out in relief this time.
Spicy, masculine with a hint of leather and soap. Alec. The scent is so ingrained in Jared’s senses that he doesn’t even think about clinging even closer. It’s Alec after all. He came. He came and got Jared out of it.
“Ssshh Jay, it’s okay. I have you now.” This time the voice is even more soothing, more reassuring and Jared closes his eyes all the way again. He is safe now, everything else doesn’t matter.
***
Jared’s mind is empty and it’s scary. He feels disconnected somehow. After years of feeling at least something from others this is new. Disturbing. It feels off but he so is not up to dealing with it. Never before had there been a moment in his life where he couldn’t at least determine how many people where around him.
For a brief moment he is tempted to blame whatever White did to him in that room for everything but then there is a flash of worry and fear and it’s not coming from him. He sighs, tries to move but freezes when there is pain again.
His face feels sticky, skin taut and aching. His fingers twitch to touch but they are curled around something soft and warm, he is not letting go. Breathing is hard; his cheeks burn with what he guesses is fever but the cold something on his forehead feels like heaven. He feels soiled, dirty and sweaty but can’t bring himself to care much.
His mouth is dry, crusted lips stick together and his tongue presses hard against the roof of his mouth. What he tastes is disgusting, makes him long for water, already imagining the soft coolness of the liquid running down his throat. He coughs, tries to swallow but then gives up when it seems to be too much of an effort. It hurts as well.
All he wants to do is go back to sleep and wake up himself again.
Spots of multiple colors, flashes of light and tiny stars paint the inside of his lids, make his eyes move restlessly. He is lying down, against someone warm and strong. Fingers are carding through his hair, send tingles down his neck and let him relax a little. It’s soothing and it feels safe.
He knows it’s Alec, doesn’t have to open his eyes to check, knows the touch and the scent. It’s like a dream though, hazy and clouded in his mind, images mixed with emotions.
Reaching out he grabs onto the first thing he comes into contact with. It’s a hand and it’s squeezing back the second he winds his fingers around it.
“He’s waking up.” The voice sounds low and close, relief clear in it. Jared wonders why it’s only just audible when his mind catches up with a humming sound that clearly is a car engine. He feels muscles jumping, moving under his cheek, immediately knows it’s legs he is lying on and feels himself blush a little. It’s not really a position he has even woken up in lately, not in a while, at least not since he turned six and told his mom he was too old to be treated like a baby.
Everything feels fuzzy, not real. It’s still like a dream, maybe even the same nightmare from before, and Jared doesn’t dare to open his eyes. He is dreading reality and he is dreading the light hitting his eyes, his head is pounding enough already. Little waves of throbs move through his head, his neck and the rest of his body, dulling the pain and then letting it flair up again.
He swallows, doesn’t know what to do, how to reassure himself that he is indeed safe now and that it isn’t just an escapist vision and his way of preventing himself from dying. He has this picture in his head where he is still in this dark, wet room, curled up and in pain but his mind is here, projecting his deepest wish and desire. It wouldn’t be the first that he fled into dreams to escape reality.
“’lec.” Jared coughs out, not sure if anybody heard him at first. But when the hand carding through his hair stops for a second he knows that Alec heard him. Fabric rustles close by; as if someone is moving fast not far from him and he can just imagine Max looking over the back of her seat, looking at him, seeing him weak like that.
But then he is lying in Alec’s lap so it can’t get any worse for him anyway. Not that he doesn’t like lying in Alec’s lap; he just wishes it would be under different circumstances. He also wishes he wouldn’t remember what happened in those rooms and what he did when Alec found him.
Because it’s sort of clear now that it was Alec and not just a figment of his desperate mind. Jared sighs; he is too drained, too beaten to think about anything at all. He just wants to soak of the warmth and the feeling of safety Alec’s emitting.
“Hey Jay, don’t move okay? Don’t try to talk. Just… just lie still and breathe. I know it hurts but we are… we are getting you do a doc.”
Jared nods, slowly and not trying to move much. That’s when he realizes that something is slightly wrong. The engine is still humming, he feels it vibrating through his body but there are no spikes of pain, not tires hitting bumps, not thump against the asphalt. They aren’t moving.
Jared dreads the moment they will.
“You.. heard.. saw me. Tried.. in the cell but … tried again in the other room.”
“Yes. I did. You managed it Jared. It’s okay now.” Alec moves his hand away from where he is holding on to Jared’s waist and moves back to comb through Jared’s hair again. Jared thinks there might be more movement in the future.
He braces himself against the pain but loses the fight against unconsciousness. The last thing he knows is that Alec starts combing through his hair again and that he is still holding his hand.
***
“So where to now?” Logan asks, not without a little hint of impatience and worry in his tone. He is constantly checking the review mirror and Alec can’t blame him. He doesn’t need to look to know that they aren’t safe out here and not knowing what White is planning.
They are at crossroads, have been for a few minutes, and Max is babbling about Terminal City and getting Jared home when all Alec can think of is getting him to a doctor as soon as possible and as fast as possible. There is none in TC, so that’s out of question, he has told Max that much. Twice already. And right now he is close to just yell at her but that would probably mean moving and jostling Jared, so he keeps it in and concentrates on keeping Jared’s head cool.
A high fever is not something he wants Jared to go through but it seems unavoidable. It worries him more than the blood that is still trickling down from the cut in Jared’s cheek.
Alec looks up from Jared’s blood-smeared and sweaty face and frowns a little when he sees Max staring at him. She is pale, almost as white as a ghost, has been ever since he lifted Jared from the mattress. Yeah, that scream is still ringing in his ears, too, got into his bones as well. He feels chilled at the thought of it.
He wants to get Jared to a doctor and Sam Carr is the only option they really have. He doesn’t really know where the problem is here and it makes him just a little angry.
“Come on Max, you know that TC isn’t safe for him now. We don’t know what White’s planning. And… I… I want Jared to be as far away from any kind of crowd as possible. He’s weak Max. He doesn’t need hundreds of emotions crashing in on him, adding to the pain. Please Max. I know you want him where you can see him but we need to stay low right now. He needs to stay low.”
He doesn’t look at Max when he says the last words, looks down at Jared instead. The boy is still lanky, not yet grown into his body but Alec can already see what Jared will look like soon. When the boyishness is gone and he finally knows how to use his body. If Jared ever gets the chance to become that man. Alec will do everything he can to ensure that he does. Right now though, Jared looks like a small beaten child and it makes Alec’s heart ache with sympathy and rage.
“He needs to be somewhere quiet or he’ll lose his mind.” It hurts to say it out loud but Alec knows it’s true and he is not risking Jared’s sanity just because Max thinks TC is a safe place.
Logan coughs a little, still not stepping on the gas or choosing a direction and Alec likes him a lot right now for not immediately taking Max’s side. The man still has his own mind and Alec wonders when he forgot that Logan actually is a human being and not just Max’s appendage.
Joshua leans forward in his seat behind Alec, growls softly and pats Alec’s shoulder. So it seems like they are standing at three to one. Max seems to think so, too because she sighs but nods.
“Yeah., Yeah okay. He needs a doc. And.. yeah… I guess he needs to be away from TC for a while. I just… I don’t know any place far enough away from the city, from people.” She sounds lost, a little helpless, too and Alec can’t remember that last time he saw her this way. It’s getting to them all. This thing with White and with Jared lying so still and pale, bloody and feverish.
The car suddenly does a forward lurch when Logan turns the wheel and takes the road that’ll lead them to Sam and hopefully to help for Jared. Jared groans a little when his body moves with the car but seems okay again when Alec simply combs his fingers through sweaty hair again. Right then Alec is glad for Jared not being conscious. The boy seems dead to the world. It’s probably the best way for him to go through the drive and Alec hopes he’ll stay unconscious for a little while longer.
“I’ll call Sam when we are closer to the city, see where he is and if he has time. Can’t show up there unannounced with Jared looking like this. Dammit, I should have known we might need Sam…” Max sounds broken, hoarse even and Alec wonders how Jared has managed to have them all emotionally attached in almost no time. Usually Alec would say something, a joke maybe, but he is too drained, too worried to care much for Max right now. He feels bad about it.
“Max. Come on, you couldn’t have known.” Logan says almost soothingly.
“It’s Ames White, Logan. Of course I should have known.”
After that no one says anything for a while. The trees - more like shadows now in the fading twilight - fly buy and the snow whirls around them as if the car is just a tiny obstacle on their way to cover the ground. Everyone is busy with their own thoughts, no words to others needed to realize there is tension in the van.
Alec is glad for not having to speak, because he agrees, Max should have known. But so should he.
Then Max is on the cell speaking softly but urgently. Alec doesn’t get a single word she says though, too focused on keeping Jared as immobile as possible. After a few minutes he hears her say ‘sure’ and ‘okay’ and ‘thank you’, so maybe it’s not going all that badly with Sam. Hope is a tricky thing to allow into existence but right now Alec clings to it.
He doesn’t know how long he hides inside his own head, using Jared as an excuse to not think about things. But it must have been a while because suddenly there are buildings along the road and the shadow of the trees are making place for glowing street lamps and fences.
Logan’s voice rips through the thick silence in the car like a whip, makes Alec jump a little and Jared moan out in pain when Alec’s thigh jostles his chest and arms. “Maybe, I know a place. For Jared to stay, I mean. It’s up in the mountains, three, maybe four hours away. A summer house at one of the lakes there. Belongs to my uncle and I could… If we have a day, can hide at Sam’s or something… I could get the keys, supplies for a bit. I just, I don’t know how it looks right now, haven’t been there in years and I doubt anybody else has.”
Alec blinks, not really sure what Logan just said but judging from Max’s smile and Joshua’s happy ‘good idea’ he thinks they might have found a way to avoid TC for a while. Maybe things are looking up now.
The rest of the drive is tense but fortunately uneventful. They get through the check points without problems thanks to Logan’s and Max’s connections. They don’t even have to get out of the van so Joshua and Jared stay unnoticed. They do however realize that things aren’t as smooth in the city as they were when they left.
Max manages to grab a newspaper at the last checkpoint, ripped apart already but headlines still visible even in the little light they get from outside of the van. Alec cringes a little because he sure as hell isn’t a victim of a kidnapping. He wonders what Gem, who is their official replacement in the Council, presented as an explanation for Max’s and Alec’s absence. But the headlines at least explain why the numbers of police patrol seem to have double within the last day.
It doesn’t make it easier to get Jared to Sam, though. They’ll have to be extra careful with what they do and how they approach Sam. Neither of them knows if the police are looking for them to rescue them or to arrest them. They won’t take the risk and Alec doesn’t have to look at Max to know that she is thinking the same.
Max twists the paper in her hands, looks down at Jared in Alec’s lap and frowns. Jared who hasn’t really moved or shown any sign of real life in the last half hour, looks paler than he has ever before. Dark bruises are standing out against white skin, covering his cheeks and chin. The black rings under his eyes match them in color and intensity. In broad daylight Jared looks like a living corpse and Alec doesn’t like that at all.
“Let’s get Jared to Sam and then decide what to do next.” Alec is actually happy to hear the command in Max’s voice and doesn’t even think about saying something.
****
The room looks dull, all grey and metal but it seems clean, so Alec holds back any kind of remark about it looking like a prison cell. Sam’s on his break, making time for them and making sure no one sees them.
The emergency exit is still most secure way into the building. Alec feels on the edge, trying to hold on to Jared while not jarring him too much. At the same time he tries to look out for any kind of danger, for a trap, for White.
Max, walking in front of them, is doing the same, turning her head at any kind of noise and never relaxes her shoulders. They are all in fighting mode, alert and using all their senses. Sam seems a little amused by it but also relieved in a way.
He asks if they were followed, holds his hands up in surrender when Max just glares. Alec, though, appreciates him asking. It shows that Sam cares - mostly for his own life - but theirs are attached to his right now.
There are two beds in the room, both cluttered with old blankets and pillows, a tiny table is stocked with medical supplies and there are several bags of infusions. There is an ultrasound as well as a portable x-ray machine. Both of them look ancient but still in use. Sam came prepared, probably set everything up as soon as Max ended the call.
Alec looks around and then just waits for Sam to close the door and turn his attention fully on Jared.
“Who have we here now? Doesn’t look too good.” Sam is looking at Jared with pity and worry; it makes Alec growl a little. That though earns him a raised eyebrow and a small smile from the doctor.
“Jared. Ames White got his hands on him. I guess a broken rip at the least. We just… we want to know if everything else is okay. Painkillers would be nice as well.” Max has taken over, all the way a leader, Alec appreciates it because he is busy holding Jared in his arms and waiting for Sam to clear one of the beds.
“He one of yours Max?” Sam sounds curious, like always, but not mad at them for interrupting his break. Alec realizes that Sam actually cleared one of the asylum rooms for them, a part of the hospital that isn’t used anymore.
“Yeah. Unmarked X5 though. He doesn’t have a tat, doesn’t have a designation. He grew up with a family, was born like any other normal. And he apparently is psychic, strong empathy,” Max answers.
“Oh, so he is the one I got the blood work done for then? Well then… Lay him down Alec. Careful with the head.”
Alec does just that and almost gasps at the stark contrast of clean white sheets against Jared’s pale grey skin. When he is too slow to move form Jared’s side, reluctant to let go, Max pulls him gently but doesn’t say a word. Let go of Jared’s hand feels wrong. The emptiness left behind in his hand spreads through his whole body, makes him shiver and feel cold.
He keeps on hovering watching every step Sam makes. When he actually growls Sam sends him outside and tells him to wait. Max and Joshua stay in the room so Alec grudgingly allows Logan to pull him outside but not without getting a rather amused look from Sam.
The hallway is closed off from the rest of the hospital so the risk of being seen is actually really low. Alec has already paced its entire length twice when Logan speaks up.
“He’ll be fine Alec. You can stop trying to walk your way through the floor.”
Alec wishes he had Logan’s confidence. The picture of Jared lying on this mattress in a cell is still very present in his mind, he can’t let go, can’t feel guilty for letting it happen in the first place.
“Alec. He’ll be fine.”
Alec literally flops down next to Logan, plastic chair creaking and groaning. The dull pain in his head makes everything sort of dull, the throbbing a constant ache spreading down to his shoulder. He tries to ease the tension, tries to relax his muscles.
The yellowish light in the hallway creates a ghostly atmosphere, makes the situation even more depressing. He sighs, closes his eyes and lets his head thunk against the grey wall.
“You know, I can honestly say I have never seen you like this.”
Alec doesn’t open his eyes but he can still see Logan’s curious expression, hears it in his voice.
“Like what?”
“So.. smitten. Worked up over someone.” The humor is there but Logan manages to sound all serious as well.
“Smitten? Oh come on, who still says that?” Sinking down lower in the chair he rests his shoulders against the cool surface of the wall, sighs in relief when his heated skin cools down a little. Logan chuckles, Alec feels him move next to him, feels the chairs protest under the weight.
“I.. well I didn’t know you…” Logan stops, sounding awkward and unsure. But Alec knows what he wants to say, has been waiting for it come up ever since they had this talk about Jared.
“What? That I appreciate the male form as well? Never thought you’d be interested in knowing. Why, Mr. Cale, afraid of being lusted after?” He says it with a smirk and a chuckle, knows that Logan wouldn’t even dream of thinking something like that.
“I am not your type, am I?” Logan still sounds amused and Alec appreciates what he is doing, trying to distract Alec from what’s going on inside that hospital room.
“Yeah well, not beautiful enough.”
Logan actually laughs out loud at that and it makes Alec smile for a second. But when Logan speaks again Alec’s heart stops for a moment before it starts up at doubled speed.
“Oh… you… Well, I should have seen that coming the way you went from suspecting the boy to being his only confident.”
“What are you talking about?” Alec asks confused even though he has a suspicion.
“You are in love Alec McDowell. It’s actually sort of adorable. You growled at Sam in there, you didn’t let Max help you carrying Jared and you have been on the edge ever since we found out that White wants the boy. And if I have to guess, I’d say you haven’t really been thinking about anything or anybody else in the last few weeks.”
This is really not a topic Alec wants to discuss right now. Especially not when he hasn’t even come to terms with it himself. But apparently he is really, really obvious and even Logan has caught up to it. Yeah, not so subtle then.
“I… it’s not. I don’t know okay? Maybe… but I don’t really know. I just don’t want anything to happen to him. Not more than already did. He’s.. he’s still so young. Just… too young maybe.” Alec sighs, rubs his hands over his heated face and leans forward, not ready to face Logan or the world yet. He is hiding and he knows it.
“He’ll need any help he can get, Alec. And judging from the way he has been reaching out to you I’d say... well, things aren’t exactly one-sided here. And yeah, I really have never seen you like this. That boy in there, he has been doing something to you, and it isn’t bad.” It sounds confident, reassuring, coming from Logan.
“Yeah. Maybe. One step after another though.” Alec sighs and leans back against the wall again, feeling drained and unsure of what to do next, of what to say next.
Logan doesn’t get a chance to answer.
An explosion, quickly followed by a second one, shatters the silence. Alec is at the door and in the room before he can even registered what just happened.
***
“Well that’s certainly not how I expected things to go,” Sam’s voice rings through the room. Four people standing rooted to the spot and looking at the two smoking spots on the floor. It only takes a second for Alec to move around them and to the bed. His heart is in his throat, hands shaking and he only has eyes for Jared.
The boy could have died, might have if they hadn’t brought him here. This is not right. Not right at all. Alec has to take a few deep breaths to calm down, not that it’s working all that well anyway.
“So I guess hiding Jared here for a few days is out of question now?” Max sounds a little shaken. Alec can relate.
“How… I mean, I know but how... why didn’t those things explode when they were still inside of him?” Alec is sitting on the edge of the bed now, almost clinging to Jared’s hand. Jared is still out like a light.
Sam shrugs a little, looks a little stunned as well. “My best guess is that Jared’s body shielded them from outside influences. Maybe interrupting incoming and outgoing signals alike? I am not sure but the time was up and they didn’t go off until after I had them removed. There was also a tracking device which only went on when I had it out of his body. So yeah, it‘d be best if you... take him somewhere else.”
“You think White might show up here now?” Max asks.
“You never know Max. Not with this man. I heard that the Council is already suspicious of you and Alec not showing, so who knows what White has told people now. Right now, they still think it’s an emergency and there is a reason.”
Alec grumbles, not really wanting to deal with politics right now. He doesn’t really care and maybe Logan was right, he hasn’t cared with anything or anybody other than Jared lately.
“Can he be moved? How is he anyway?” Alec looks down at Jared, still pale, still unconscious. He is now hooked up to an intravenous drip, chest and midsection bandaged and face cleaned of all the dried blood. His shredded t-shirt is lying on the floor, pants on top of the heap. Sam brought scrubs, which Jared is wearing now.
“He is good considering the beatings he must have taken. Two cracked ribs but no internal bleeding. Muscles seem to be overexerted and he might have a slight concussion. He is a bit dehydrated though. How long has he been captured?”
Max moves towards Sam, takes the meds he is holding out for her and looks as guilty as Alec feels. “Just a day. One day too long. White attacked TC this morning, before the Council meeting. Jared went and gave himself over, thought he’d safe us. We got him out about two hours ago. Drove here right away.”
Sam looks on his watch, frowns and sets up another drip for Jared.
“It’s past 1am now Max. The boy probably hasn’t gotten any fluids since the morning. When both drips are through you can move him. I’ll get you another electrolyte drip to take with. The one with the pain medication should hold for the next 24 hours. Give him the pills when he wakes up and is in pain.”
Alec is a little confused, not taking it all in but he knows Max is listening and will tell him everything later.
“Jared is fine otherwise. Just exhausted and sleeping right now. I have him a mild sedative. No swellings that I could see or feel. He is trained well, fit body despite the year without regular food. He is a little on the thin side, though. Keep him fed, he’ll need it getting better. Also, I’d recommend keeping him away from people, after what you told me about him, he’ll need his mind free from other’s emotions. I guess I know why White wants him. I was fascinated by the boy’s blood-work.”
Sam sounds a little too excited there for Alec’s taste, but after what happened with White Alec knows no one blames him. He knows Jared’s genetic code is special, that he belongs to a wholly different program than any other X5 but he’s still one of them and Alec will do everything to prevent him from become some guinea pig.
“Yeah, he is a special kind of freak. So we can move him? I’ll even take care of the drips. But doc, we have to get out of here.” Alec knows he sounds a little too pleading but he doesn’t care.
Jared needs to go somewhere safe right the fuck now.
Sam nods then, maybe sees something in Alec’s eyes, and just tells them to be careful with the aditus in Jared’s hand.
“Okay, let’s get him to the summer house.” Logan says almost sounding excited when Alec moves to get Jared’s arm that is not attached to drips into the sleeve of the thermal Sam brought as well. Even though he has been growling at Sam Alec is immensely grateful for his help. He doesn’t know what they’d have done without him, and not only this time.
“I think I should go back to TC. See how things are. And the Council.. One of us should be there tomorrow. I… Jared… he’ll want Alec there anyway and TC shouldn’t be left along for too long. Joshua? You coming with?” Max looks at Alec while speaking and he can see that she is struggling with this decision. He knows she wants to be there for Jared as well but is aware of all the other responsibilities she has now. He thinks it must suck to be here sometimes.
“Going home with Max. Logan.. Logan can drive Alec and Jared.” Joshua, though, sounds determined and Alec suspects that Joshua will pack things for them once he and Max are back in TC. Sometimes Joshua’s foresight surprises Alec and he feels bad that it does surprise him.
Jared moans softly when Alec hefts him up into his arms again, studiously ignoring the charred dark twin spots in the floor in order to not freak out all over again. It’s enough that he did it in his mind the second he saw them.
“Good luck. Keep him in bed for at least a week. The ribs have to heal properly. And send someone to me if you need things. Okay?” Sam actually sounds concerned there and Alec can’t help but smile.
“Thank you, Sam. Seriously… I... Sorry?”
“Yeah, alright Alec. I get it and you are welcome.”
When the emergency exit door closes behind them, leaving Sam inside the hospital, probably already dealing with the aftermath of helping Jared, Alec suddenly feels scared.
He settles Jared into the backseat before he climbs in himself, looks at Max and doesn’t have to say a single word. She knows he’ll do everything to protect Jared and he knows she’ll do the same in anyway she can.
Looking back through the back window, seeing them standing there in the snow and darkness Alec hopes things won’t get any worse than they already are. Max and Joshua are fading into blurs and then completely vanish when Logan takes a turn.
Alec feels like this is some sort of goodbye. He hopes it isn’t.
***
Jared wakes up feeling like he was hit by a truck. Not that he knows how that would feel like but if he has to take a guess this might be what it would feel like.
Everything aches but not in a blinding way like before. It’s duller, more throbbing, more like his muscles are all cramped up and are still trying to lock up. It hurts to even move his hand or his head.
The room is dark, but he can see the curtains being drawn, so he doesn’t really know what time of the day it is. He also doesn’t know where he is, only that the bed seems clean and soft and that he is apparently hooked up to some kind of drip.
He dully remembers being carried through snow. Memories of lying in Alec’s lap and babbling flash through his mind. He is too exhausted to feel embarrassed. He does feel a little scared though.
Jared moves a little, groaning at the strain it puts on his muscles and shifts back into his original position. The room is warm, too warm and he can’t stand the blanket pulled tight over him. He feels trapped.
His mind is still empty. There are no other emotions than his own and it scares him more than the blanket being pulled too tight. There should be something, anything. But there is nothing.
Jared takes a deep breath and tries his voice.
The first few tries are pathetic; doesn’t even sound loud enough to his own ears. But when he tries to actually sit up, the fire and pain flaring in his chest make him gasp out loud though. He takes another deep breath through the ache and tries again.
He is surprised when it works.
“ALEC?”
Part 6 B
Author: the_milky_way
Genre: Dark Angel/RPS
Pairing: Alec/X5!Jared
Rating: R
Word Count: 5700
Beta: Thank you to A. for the help.
Disclaimer: This story is fictional (not real, didn't happen). Not true in any way. I don't own anything. Dark Angel belongs to Fox and no money is being made out of this.
Summary:
It’s the pain that brings him back, that lets him groan out and cling tighter to the body that is so close to him. He doesn’t know where he is but it’s cold and snow is coming down heavily. The cold air stings on his skin and in his nose when he tries to take a breath.
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Previous Parts: Part 1 * Part 2 A * Part 2 B * Part 3 A * Part 3 B * Part 4 * Part 5
It’s the pain that brings him back, that lets him groan out and cling tighter to the body that is so close to him. He doesn’t know where he is but it’s cold and snow is coming down heavily. The cold air stings on his skin and in his nose when he tries to take a breath.
Breathing in general is a difficult concept for him right now. His chest only expands that much without shooting jolts of pain through his entire body. At first he doesn’t even hear the whimpers he is making. Everything is blurry and unfocused. He doesn’t know what’s happening but he doesn’t have the strength or the energy to struggle. So he just slumps back against whoever it is that is so close when it becomes apparent that he won’t be let go off.
“Ssssh, it’s okay. I got you. I got you.” The voice sounds familiar, soothing but he is too out of it to recognize it. Flashes of faces, of people around him coming too close, things in their hands and pain are all he can focus in.
A yell of pain is ripped from him when the body close to him moves him the wrong way and the sobs that follow can’t be just his. Tears are streaking down his face; he feels their hot tracks against his chilled skin, against the snow melting on his face.
He is being carried, can tell that much from looking through slit eyes and seeing the trees move by in a curious angle. Out of instinct he trusts the person carrying him, buries his face in the crook of neck he finds when he turns his head. The scent that hits him is so familiar that he whimpers out in relief this time.
Spicy, masculine with a hint of leather and soap. Alec. The scent is so ingrained in Jared’s senses that he doesn’t even think about clinging even closer. It’s Alec after all. He came. He came and got Jared out of it.
“Ssshh Jay, it’s okay. I have you now.” This time the voice is even more soothing, more reassuring and Jared closes his eyes all the way again. He is safe now, everything else doesn’t matter.
***
Jared’s mind is empty and it’s scary. He feels disconnected somehow. After years of feeling at least something from others this is new. Disturbing. It feels off but he so is not up to dealing with it. Never before had there been a moment in his life where he couldn’t at least determine how many people where around him.
For a brief moment he is tempted to blame whatever White did to him in that room for everything but then there is a flash of worry and fear and it’s not coming from him. He sighs, tries to move but freezes when there is pain again.
His face feels sticky, skin taut and aching. His fingers twitch to touch but they are curled around something soft and warm, he is not letting go. Breathing is hard; his cheeks burn with what he guesses is fever but the cold something on his forehead feels like heaven. He feels soiled, dirty and sweaty but can’t bring himself to care much.
His mouth is dry, crusted lips stick together and his tongue presses hard against the roof of his mouth. What he tastes is disgusting, makes him long for water, already imagining the soft coolness of the liquid running down his throat. He coughs, tries to swallow but then gives up when it seems to be too much of an effort. It hurts as well.
All he wants to do is go back to sleep and wake up himself again.
Spots of multiple colors, flashes of light and tiny stars paint the inside of his lids, make his eyes move restlessly. He is lying down, against someone warm and strong. Fingers are carding through his hair, send tingles down his neck and let him relax a little. It’s soothing and it feels safe.
He knows it’s Alec, doesn’t have to open his eyes to check, knows the touch and the scent. It’s like a dream though, hazy and clouded in his mind, images mixed with emotions.
Reaching out he grabs onto the first thing he comes into contact with. It’s a hand and it’s squeezing back the second he winds his fingers around it.
“He’s waking up.” The voice sounds low and close, relief clear in it. Jared wonders why it’s only just audible when his mind catches up with a humming sound that clearly is a car engine. He feels muscles jumping, moving under his cheek, immediately knows it’s legs he is lying on and feels himself blush a little. It’s not really a position he has even woken up in lately, not in a while, at least not since he turned six and told his mom he was too old to be treated like a baby.
Everything feels fuzzy, not real. It’s still like a dream, maybe even the same nightmare from before, and Jared doesn’t dare to open his eyes. He is dreading reality and he is dreading the light hitting his eyes, his head is pounding enough already. Little waves of throbs move through his head, his neck and the rest of his body, dulling the pain and then letting it flair up again.
He swallows, doesn’t know what to do, how to reassure himself that he is indeed safe now and that it isn’t just an escapist vision and his way of preventing himself from dying. He has this picture in his head where he is still in this dark, wet room, curled up and in pain but his mind is here, projecting his deepest wish and desire. It wouldn’t be the first that he fled into dreams to escape reality.
“’lec.” Jared coughs out, not sure if anybody heard him at first. But when the hand carding through his hair stops for a second he knows that Alec heard him. Fabric rustles close by; as if someone is moving fast not far from him and he can just imagine Max looking over the back of her seat, looking at him, seeing him weak like that.
But then he is lying in Alec’s lap so it can’t get any worse for him anyway. Not that he doesn’t like lying in Alec’s lap; he just wishes it would be under different circumstances. He also wishes he wouldn’t remember what happened in those rooms and what he did when Alec found him.
Because it’s sort of clear now that it was Alec and not just a figment of his desperate mind. Jared sighs; he is too drained, too beaten to think about anything at all. He just wants to soak of the warmth and the feeling of safety Alec’s emitting.
“Hey Jay, don’t move okay? Don’t try to talk. Just… just lie still and breathe. I know it hurts but we are… we are getting you do a doc.”
Jared nods, slowly and not trying to move much. That’s when he realizes that something is slightly wrong. The engine is still humming, he feels it vibrating through his body but there are no spikes of pain, not tires hitting bumps, not thump against the asphalt. They aren’t moving.
Jared dreads the moment they will.
“You.. heard.. saw me. Tried.. in the cell but … tried again in the other room.”
“Yes. I did. You managed it Jared. It’s okay now.” Alec moves his hand away from where he is holding on to Jared’s waist and moves back to comb through Jared’s hair again. Jared thinks there might be more movement in the future.
He braces himself against the pain but loses the fight against unconsciousness. The last thing he knows is that Alec starts combing through his hair again and that he is still holding his hand.
***
“So where to now?” Logan asks, not without a little hint of impatience and worry in his tone. He is constantly checking the review mirror and Alec can’t blame him. He doesn’t need to look to know that they aren’t safe out here and not knowing what White is planning.
They are at crossroads, have been for a few minutes, and Max is babbling about Terminal City and getting Jared home when all Alec can think of is getting him to a doctor as soon as possible and as fast as possible. There is none in TC, so that’s out of question, he has told Max that much. Twice already. And right now he is close to just yell at her but that would probably mean moving and jostling Jared, so he keeps it in and concentrates on keeping Jared’s head cool.
A high fever is not something he wants Jared to go through but it seems unavoidable. It worries him more than the blood that is still trickling down from the cut in Jared’s cheek.
Alec looks up from Jared’s blood-smeared and sweaty face and frowns a little when he sees Max staring at him. She is pale, almost as white as a ghost, has been ever since he lifted Jared from the mattress. Yeah, that scream is still ringing in his ears, too, got into his bones as well. He feels chilled at the thought of it.
He wants to get Jared to a doctor and Sam Carr is the only option they really have. He doesn’t really know where the problem is here and it makes him just a little angry.
“Come on Max, you know that TC isn’t safe for him now. We don’t know what White’s planning. And… I… I want Jared to be as far away from any kind of crowd as possible. He’s weak Max. He doesn’t need hundreds of emotions crashing in on him, adding to the pain. Please Max. I know you want him where you can see him but we need to stay low right now. He needs to stay low.”
He doesn’t look at Max when he says the last words, looks down at Jared instead. The boy is still lanky, not yet grown into his body but Alec can already see what Jared will look like soon. When the boyishness is gone and he finally knows how to use his body. If Jared ever gets the chance to become that man. Alec will do everything he can to ensure that he does. Right now though, Jared looks like a small beaten child and it makes Alec’s heart ache with sympathy and rage.
“He needs to be somewhere quiet or he’ll lose his mind.” It hurts to say it out loud but Alec knows it’s true and he is not risking Jared’s sanity just because Max thinks TC is a safe place.
Logan coughs a little, still not stepping on the gas or choosing a direction and Alec likes him a lot right now for not immediately taking Max’s side. The man still has his own mind and Alec wonders when he forgot that Logan actually is a human being and not just Max’s appendage.
Joshua leans forward in his seat behind Alec, growls softly and pats Alec’s shoulder. So it seems like they are standing at three to one. Max seems to think so, too because she sighs but nods.
“Yeah., Yeah okay. He needs a doc. And.. yeah… I guess he needs to be away from TC for a while. I just… I don’t know any place far enough away from the city, from people.” She sounds lost, a little helpless, too and Alec can’t remember that last time he saw her this way. It’s getting to them all. This thing with White and with Jared lying so still and pale, bloody and feverish.
The car suddenly does a forward lurch when Logan turns the wheel and takes the road that’ll lead them to Sam and hopefully to help for Jared. Jared groans a little when his body moves with the car but seems okay again when Alec simply combs his fingers through sweaty hair again. Right then Alec is glad for Jared not being conscious. The boy seems dead to the world. It’s probably the best way for him to go through the drive and Alec hopes he’ll stay unconscious for a little while longer.
“I’ll call Sam when we are closer to the city, see where he is and if he has time. Can’t show up there unannounced with Jared looking like this. Dammit, I should have known we might need Sam…” Max sounds broken, hoarse even and Alec wonders how Jared has managed to have them all emotionally attached in almost no time. Usually Alec would say something, a joke maybe, but he is too drained, too worried to care much for Max right now. He feels bad about it.
“Max. Come on, you couldn’t have known.” Logan says almost soothingly.
“It’s Ames White, Logan. Of course I should have known.”
After that no one says anything for a while. The trees - more like shadows now in the fading twilight - fly buy and the snow whirls around them as if the car is just a tiny obstacle on their way to cover the ground. Everyone is busy with their own thoughts, no words to others needed to realize there is tension in the van.
Alec is glad for not having to speak, because he agrees, Max should have known. But so should he.
Then Max is on the cell speaking softly but urgently. Alec doesn’t get a single word she says though, too focused on keeping Jared as immobile as possible. After a few minutes he hears her say ‘sure’ and ‘okay’ and ‘thank you’, so maybe it’s not going all that badly with Sam. Hope is a tricky thing to allow into existence but right now Alec clings to it.
He doesn’t know how long he hides inside his own head, using Jared as an excuse to not think about things. But it must have been a while because suddenly there are buildings along the road and the shadow of the trees are making place for glowing street lamps and fences.
Logan’s voice rips through the thick silence in the car like a whip, makes Alec jump a little and Jared moan out in pain when Alec’s thigh jostles his chest and arms. “Maybe, I know a place. For Jared to stay, I mean. It’s up in the mountains, three, maybe four hours away. A summer house at one of the lakes there. Belongs to my uncle and I could… If we have a day, can hide at Sam’s or something… I could get the keys, supplies for a bit. I just, I don’t know how it looks right now, haven’t been there in years and I doubt anybody else has.”
Alec blinks, not really sure what Logan just said but judging from Max’s smile and Joshua’s happy ‘good idea’ he thinks they might have found a way to avoid TC for a while. Maybe things are looking up now.
The rest of the drive is tense but fortunately uneventful. They get through the check points without problems thanks to Logan’s and Max’s connections. They don’t even have to get out of the van so Joshua and Jared stay unnoticed. They do however realize that things aren’t as smooth in the city as they were when they left.
Max manages to grab a newspaper at the last checkpoint, ripped apart already but headlines still visible even in the little light they get from outside of the van. Alec cringes a little because he sure as hell isn’t a victim of a kidnapping. He wonders what Gem, who is their official replacement in the Council, presented as an explanation for Max’s and Alec’s absence. But the headlines at least explain why the numbers of police patrol seem to have double within the last day.
It doesn’t make it easier to get Jared to Sam, though. They’ll have to be extra careful with what they do and how they approach Sam. Neither of them knows if the police are looking for them to rescue them or to arrest them. They won’t take the risk and Alec doesn’t have to look at Max to know that she is thinking the same.
Max twists the paper in her hands, looks down at Jared in Alec’s lap and frowns. Jared who hasn’t really moved or shown any sign of real life in the last half hour, looks paler than he has ever before. Dark bruises are standing out against white skin, covering his cheeks and chin. The black rings under his eyes match them in color and intensity. In broad daylight Jared looks like a living corpse and Alec doesn’t like that at all.
“Let’s get Jared to Sam and then decide what to do next.” Alec is actually happy to hear the command in Max’s voice and doesn’t even think about saying something.
****
The room looks dull, all grey and metal but it seems clean, so Alec holds back any kind of remark about it looking like a prison cell. Sam’s on his break, making time for them and making sure no one sees them.
The emergency exit is still most secure way into the building. Alec feels on the edge, trying to hold on to Jared while not jarring him too much. At the same time he tries to look out for any kind of danger, for a trap, for White.
Max, walking in front of them, is doing the same, turning her head at any kind of noise and never relaxes her shoulders. They are all in fighting mode, alert and using all their senses. Sam seems a little amused by it but also relieved in a way.
He asks if they were followed, holds his hands up in surrender when Max just glares. Alec, though, appreciates him asking. It shows that Sam cares - mostly for his own life - but theirs are attached to his right now.
There are two beds in the room, both cluttered with old blankets and pillows, a tiny table is stocked with medical supplies and there are several bags of infusions. There is an ultrasound as well as a portable x-ray machine. Both of them look ancient but still in use. Sam came prepared, probably set everything up as soon as Max ended the call.
Alec looks around and then just waits for Sam to close the door and turn his attention fully on Jared.
“Who have we here now? Doesn’t look too good.” Sam is looking at Jared with pity and worry; it makes Alec growl a little. That though earns him a raised eyebrow and a small smile from the doctor.
“Jared. Ames White got his hands on him. I guess a broken rip at the least. We just… we want to know if everything else is okay. Painkillers would be nice as well.” Max has taken over, all the way a leader, Alec appreciates it because he is busy holding Jared in his arms and waiting for Sam to clear one of the beds.
“He one of yours Max?” Sam sounds curious, like always, but not mad at them for interrupting his break. Alec realizes that Sam actually cleared one of the asylum rooms for them, a part of the hospital that isn’t used anymore.
“Yeah. Unmarked X5 though. He doesn’t have a tat, doesn’t have a designation. He grew up with a family, was born like any other normal. And he apparently is psychic, strong empathy,” Max answers.
“Oh, so he is the one I got the blood work done for then? Well then… Lay him down Alec. Careful with the head.”
Alec does just that and almost gasps at the stark contrast of clean white sheets against Jared’s pale grey skin. When he is too slow to move form Jared’s side, reluctant to let go, Max pulls him gently but doesn’t say a word. Let go of Jared’s hand feels wrong. The emptiness left behind in his hand spreads through his whole body, makes him shiver and feel cold.
He keeps on hovering watching every step Sam makes. When he actually growls Sam sends him outside and tells him to wait. Max and Joshua stay in the room so Alec grudgingly allows Logan to pull him outside but not without getting a rather amused look from Sam.
The hallway is closed off from the rest of the hospital so the risk of being seen is actually really low. Alec has already paced its entire length twice when Logan speaks up.
“He’ll be fine Alec. You can stop trying to walk your way through the floor.”
Alec wishes he had Logan’s confidence. The picture of Jared lying on this mattress in a cell is still very present in his mind, he can’t let go, can’t feel guilty for letting it happen in the first place.
“Alec. He’ll be fine.”
Alec literally flops down next to Logan, plastic chair creaking and groaning. The dull pain in his head makes everything sort of dull, the throbbing a constant ache spreading down to his shoulder. He tries to ease the tension, tries to relax his muscles.
The yellowish light in the hallway creates a ghostly atmosphere, makes the situation even more depressing. He sighs, closes his eyes and lets his head thunk against the grey wall.
“You know, I can honestly say I have never seen you like this.”
Alec doesn’t open his eyes but he can still see Logan’s curious expression, hears it in his voice.
“Like what?”
“So.. smitten. Worked up over someone.” The humor is there but Logan manages to sound all serious as well.
“Smitten? Oh come on, who still says that?” Sinking down lower in the chair he rests his shoulders against the cool surface of the wall, sighs in relief when his heated skin cools down a little. Logan chuckles, Alec feels him move next to him, feels the chairs protest under the weight.
“I.. well I didn’t know you…” Logan stops, sounding awkward and unsure. But Alec knows what he wants to say, has been waiting for it come up ever since they had this talk about Jared.
“What? That I appreciate the male form as well? Never thought you’d be interested in knowing. Why, Mr. Cale, afraid of being lusted after?” He says it with a smirk and a chuckle, knows that Logan wouldn’t even dream of thinking something like that.
“I am not your type, am I?” Logan still sounds amused and Alec appreciates what he is doing, trying to distract Alec from what’s going on inside that hospital room.
“Yeah well, not beautiful enough.”
Logan actually laughs out loud at that and it makes Alec smile for a second. But when Logan speaks again Alec’s heart stops for a moment before it starts up at doubled speed.
“Oh… you… Well, I should have seen that coming the way you went from suspecting the boy to being his only confident.”
“What are you talking about?” Alec asks confused even though he has a suspicion.
“You are in love Alec McDowell. It’s actually sort of adorable. You growled at Sam in there, you didn’t let Max help you carrying Jared and you have been on the edge ever since we found out that White wants the boy. And if I have to guess, I’d say you haven’t really been thinking about anything or anybody else in the last few weeks.”
This is really not a topic Alec wants to discuss right now. Especially not when he hasn’t even come to terms with it himself. But apparently he is really, really obvious and even Logan has caught up to it. Yeah, not so subtle then.
“I… it’s not. I don’t know okay? Maybe… but I don’t really know. I just don’t want anything to happen to him. Not more than already did. He’s.. he’s still so young. Just… too young maybe.” Alec sighs, rubs his hands over his heated face and leans forward, not ready to face Logan or the world yet. He is hiding and he knows it.
“He’ll need any help he can get, Alec. And judging from the way he has been reaching out to you I’d say... well, things aren’t exactly one-sided here. And yeah, I really have never seen you like this. That boy in there, he has been doing something to you, and it isn’t bad.” It sounds confident, reassuring, coming from Logan.
“Yeah. Maybe. One step after another though.” Alec sighs and leans back against the wall again, feeling drained and unsure of what to do next, of what to say next.
Logan doesn’t get a chance to answer.
An explosion, quickly followed by a second one, shatters the silence. Alec is at the door and in the room before he can even registered what just happened.
***
“Well that’s certainly not how I expected things to go,” Sam’s voice rings through the room. Four people standing rooted to the spot and looking at the two smoking spots on the floor. It only takes a second for Alec to move around them and to the bed. His heart is in his throat, hands shaking and he only has eyes for Jared.
The boy could have died, might have if they hadn’t brought him here. This is not right. Not right at all. Alec has to take a few deep breaths to calm down, not that it’s working all that well anyway.
“So I guess hiding Jared here for a few days is out of question now?” Max sounds a little shaken. Alec can relate.
“How… I mean, I know but how... why didn’t those things explode when they were still inside of him?” Alec is sitting on the edge of the bed now, almost clinging to Jared’s hand. Jared is still out like a light.
Sam shrugs a little, looks a little stunned as well. “My best guess is that Jared’s body shielded them from outside influences. Maybe interrupting incoming and outgoing signals alike? I am not sure but the time was up and they didn’t go off until after I had them removed. There was also a tracking device which only went on when I had it out of his body. So yeah, it‘d be best if you... take him somewhere else.”
“You think White might show up here now?” Max asks.
“You never know Max. Not with this man. I heard that the Council is already suspicious of you and Alec not showing, so who knows what White has told people now. Right now, they still think it’s an emergency and there is a reason.”
Alec grumbles, not really wanting to deal with politics right now. He doesn’t really care and maybe Logan was right, he hasn’t cared with anything or anybody other than Jared lately.
“Can he be moved? How is he anyway?” Alec looks down at Jared, still pale, still unconscious. He is now hooked up to an intravenous drip, chest and midsection bandaged and face cleaned of all the dried blood. His shredded t-shirt is lying on the floor, pants on top of the heap. Sam brought scrubs, which Jared is wearing now.
“He is good considering the beatings he must have taken. Two cracked ribs but no internal bleeding. Muscles seem to be overexerted and he might have a slight concussion. He is a bit dehydrated though. How long has he been captured?”
Max moves towards Sam, takes the meds he is holding out for her and looks as guilty as Alec feels. “Just a day. One day too long. White attacked TC this morning, before the Council meeting. Jared went and gave himself over, thought he’d safe us. We got him out about two hours ago. Drove here right away.”
Sam looks on his watch, frowns and sets up another drip for Jared.
“It’s past 1am now Max. The boy probably hasn’t gotten any fluids since the morning. When both drips are through you can move him. I’ll get you another electrolyte drip to take with. The one with the pain medication should hold for the next 24 hours. Give him the pills when he wakes up and is in pain.”
Alec is a little confused, not taking it all in but he knows Max is listening and will tell him everything later.
“Jared is fine otherwise. Just exhausted and sleeping right now. I have him a mild sedative. No swellings that I could see or feel. He is trained well, fit body despite the year without regular food. He is a little on the thin side, though. Keep him fed, he’ll need it getting better. Also, I’d recommend keeping him away from people, after what you told me about him, he’ll need his mind free from other’s emotions. I guess I know why White wants him. I was fascinated by the boy’s blood-work.”
Sam sounds a little too excited there for Alec’s taste, but after what happened with White Alec knows no one blames him. He knows Jared’s genetic code is special, that he belongs to a wholly different program than any other X5 but he’s still one of them and Alec will do everything to prevent him from become some guinea pig.
“Yeah, he is a special kind of freak. So we can move him? I’ll even take care of the drips. But doc, we have to get out of here.” Alec knows he sounds a little too pleading but he doesn’t care.
Jared needs to go somewhere safe right the fuck now.
Sam nods then, maybe sees something in Alec’s eyes, and just tells them to be careful with the aditus in Jared’s hand.
“Okay, let’s get him to the summer house.” Logan says almost sounding excited when Alec moves to get Jared’s arm that is not attached to drips into the sleeve of the thermal Sam brought as well. Even though he has been growling at Sam Alec is immensely grateful for his help. He doesn’t know what they’d have done without him, and not only this time.
“I think I should go back to TC. See how things are. And the Council.. One of us should be there tomorrow. I… Jared… he’ll want Alec there anyway and TC shouldn’t be left along for too long. Joshua? You coming with?” Max looks at Alec while speaking and he can see that she is struggling with this decision. He knows she wants to be there for Jared as well but is aware of all the other responsibilities she has now. He thinks it must suck to be here sometimes.
“Going home with Max. Logan.. Logan can drive Alec and Jared.” Joshua, though, sounds determined and Alec suspects that Joshua will pack things for them once he and Max are back in TC. Sometimes Joshua’s foresight surprises Alec and he feels bad that it does surprise him.
Jared moans softly when Alec hefts him up into his arms again, studiously ignoring the charred dark twin spots in the floor in order to not freak out all over again. It’s enough that he did it in his mind the second he saw them.
“Good luck. Keep him in bed for at least a week. The ribs have to heal properly. And send someone to me if you need things. Okay?” Sam actually sounds concerned there and Alec can’t help but smile.
“Thank you, Sam. Seriously… I... Sorry?”
“Yeah, alright Alec. I get it and you are welcome.”
When the emergency exit door closes behind them, leaving Sam inside the hospital, probably already dealing with the aftermath of helping Jared, Alec suddenly feels scared.
He settles Jared into the backseat before he climbs in himself, looks at Max and doesn’t have to say a single word. She knows he’ll do everything to protect Jared and he knows she’ll do the same in anyway she can.
Looking back through the back window, seeing them standing there in the snow and darkness Alec hopes things won’t get any worse than they already are. Max and Joshua are fading into blurs and then completely vanish when Logan takes a turn.
Alec feels like this is some sort of goodbye. He hopes it isn’t.
***
Jared wakes up feeling like he was hit by a truck. Not that he knows how that would feel like but if he has to take a guess this might be what it would feel like.
Everything aches but not in a blinding way like before. It’s duller, more throbbing, more like his muscles are all cramped up and are still trying to lock up. It hurts to even move his hand or his head.
The room is dark, but he can see the curtains being drawn, so he doesn’t really know what time of the day it is. He also doesn’t know where he is, only that the bed seems clean and soft and that he is apparently hooked up to some kind of drip.
He dully remembers being carried through snow. Memories of lying in Alec’s lap and babbling flash through his mind. He is too exhausted to feel embarrassed. He does feel a little scared though.
Jared moves a little, groaning at the strain it puts on his muscles and shifts back into his original position. The room is warm, too warm and he can’t stand the blanket pulled tight over him. He feels trapped.
His mind is still empty. There are no other emotions than his own and it scares him more than the blanket being pulled too tight. There should be something, anything. But there is nothing.
Jared takes a deep breath and tries his voice.
The first few tries are pathetic; doesn’t even sound loud enough to his own ears. But when he tries to actually sit up, the fire and pain flaring in his chest make him gasp out loud though. He takes another deep breath through the ache and tries again.
He is surprised when it works.
“ALEC?”
Part 6 B