Fic: "The Long Way Home Part 2 B", Jared/Alec, PG-13
Fic title: "The Long Way Home Part 2 B"
Author: the_milky_way
Genre: Dark Angel/RPS
Pairing: Alec/X5!Jared
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 7.071
Warnings/Spoilers: none
Beta: Thanks to sandrine and to fly_bluebird
Disclaimer: This story is fictional (not real, didn't happen). Not true in any way. I don't own anything. Dark Angel belongs to Fox and no money is being made out of this.
Summary: In a future not far from now, in a broken world, family is all you can rely upon.
Green eyes look down at him. Concerned. Fear and relief, annoyance as well, all those varied emotions are there. Expressive eyes even though the face is blank. He feels calm though. Almost relaxed.
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"The Long Way Home Part 1"
"The Long Way Home Part 2 A"
Green eyes look down at him. Concerned. Fear and relief, annoyance as well, all those varied emotions are there. Expressive eyes even though the face is blank. He feels calm though. Almost relaxed.
It doesn’t last long though. He is hauled up by his arms and is almost surprised that the strength used isn’t hurting him all that much.
He stems his feet against the floor and successfully prevents himself from being dragged out of the loft.
It’s almost a stare-off. The silence heavy between them.
They are close, just looking at each other and not moving at all.
And the only thing he can think about is how the rays of the sun almost cast a halo around the other man.
Jared blinks, slowly tries to focus and come back to the here and now. It’s not the first time this has happened. It’s not the first time that his daydreams are about green eyes and a scowl. He knows he should just stop it but he seems unable to do so.
He keeps zoning out, almost gets caught up in his daydreams and then, when he is back, things start to get bad. Usually he gets scolded for not paying attention, for not taking things serious enough.
He is almost glad that people ignore him this morning, leaving alone. He is not one of them and he doubts he’ll ever be.
The pounding is back. A hammer is a nice way to describe the things drumming in his temples. The pressure is almost too much again. Everything swims in front of his eyes and he has a hard time to not just let his head rest on the table and close his eyes. He doesn’t need to slip away again. It hurts a little already and he knows the next headache will be epic again.
At least now he sort of knows where the headaches are coming from and can work on how to block the cause. Not that he has been overly successful but he didn’t faint again.
One embarrassment less. He can live without going through that again. Alec still mocks him for it, collapsing in a strangers arms just because he couldn’t deal, didn’t know how to. Alec is also pissed at him for running the next time it got too much.
Alec hates being Jared’s assigned baby-sitter, almost as much as Jared hates being so close to someone with emotions running wild.
Sometimes, no, most times actually, Jared wishes he could go and vanish again. Like he tried to do on that second day in TC when Alec wouldn’t stop smirking, Max wouldn’t stop hovering and Joshua just wouldn’t stop being there. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t sleep and Terminal City was so much more and so much less than he thought it might be.
He had just wandered off one day, not telling anyone where he was going, mainly because he had no idea himself. He just walked, looked into rooms, into buildings. Found out that there were still places where one could be alone, away from all the people, all the feelings and waves of emotions.
In a loft, high above everything else, in a building that probably once was one of the higher priced apartment blocks Jared finally found the peace he had been looking for. He had slept of twelve hors straight, uninterrupted and for once free of dreams or nightmares. Jared smiles a little at that, wishes he could go back there and just shut it all out. He knows he won’t be allowed, too. Not alone anyway and that would defeat the purpose.
They think of him as a child, not a man who has spent a year on the street. They think of him as innocent because he has no real idea anymore of what he is and of what made him like this.
He knows people here think he is an abnormality, not the same kind of freak they are. Their freakiness unites them, his sets him apart. Everyone seems to think of him as incapable of dealing and he sort of proved them right by just vanishing.
Yeah, Jared knows he should start thinking before he acts. But then, getting away had been his first impulse: self-preservation. No one seemed to get it though.
Alec found him.
Jared is still confused about that.
Alec found him lying in a corner, hidden from the entrance and the window, asleep. And Alec had just sat there, watching him. Jared could still feel the calm that swept over him, the almost unbearable relief that enclosed him in his sleep and woke him up in the end. He knew it had been coming from Alec but the scowl and the angry words contradicted any emotion Jared might have felt. And then there was anger and fear mixed into it all, it got too much too fast and Jared’s vision went black for a moment.
When he came to again, Alec was looking down on him with a blank expression. It hasn’t changed since then. Now he isn’t sure anymore what exactly it was that he felt coming from Alec. Maybe he imagined it all.
Not being allowed to roam on his own is definitely a downer. He feels like he is twelve again and not allowed to leave the house during holidays due to his Dad’s work, which he never really understood.
Max says TC is too dangerous for him, Jared thinks they just don’t trust him.
Not getting away from things makes it hard to concentrate, makes it hard not to get snappy and rude when emotions run high and Jared can’t block them out anymore.
Apparently being close to Transgenics triggers his senses more than ‘normal’ people ever had and he has to learn how to put a lid on it all. He has to learn how to keep it away from himself when he doesn’t need to ready anyone’s emotions.
Suma, one of the empathic X6 - and Jared is slowly learning all the correct transgenic terms - has been trying to practice trance like states with him. Jared thinks she is losing patience and he can’t help but feel idiotic, sitting in the middle of an empty room humming ‘oohm’ noises.
He is too embarrassed to admit that it’s helping a little.
He is an empath, that much they figured out so far, and he doesn’t really know how to go about it. All his life he’s always known he was a freak but to what epic proportions it extended now is way beyond his mental capacity to grasps it fully and entirely. Or so he tells himself.
Everything is still too much and Jared doesn’t know what else to do but draw into himself. His world is slowly crashing down around him. His world view, his view of himself and his family, everything was a lie or not what he thought it was. Jared is pretty sure that he should be excused from any logical thought process for a while.
So now he is sitting there, in command central, surrounded by busy people and trying to block them all out. It’s part of his training, as Max likes to call it now. Jared hates that word, has ever since school and he tries to tell Max that every time she comes up with new ways of how to train him.
Alec seems to have checked out of that whole process, he just teaches Jared with all the other transgencis, treats him like a kid and doesn’t really engage any kind of contact outside of lessons.
Max doesn’t like it but never really says anything, just excuses Alec’s non-behavior with the stressful council work. A council Jared has no idea about and every time he asks what it actually is no one even tries to explain. They just tell him it’s important work for Transgenics. It’s like they think he doesn’t need to know about it all because it’s not important for him.
Jared tries not to be too disappointed about that because right now he has other things to deal with.
Alec, as well, is just one of the things Jared can put on the ‘deal with it later’ list.
****
Command central is busy this morning and Jared is supposed to help out with planning the next few outings. Jared just can’t concentrate enough to come up with any good organization plans or work on any more transmitters. He’d had a bad night again and is glad that he can’t remember. He is glad that he has some work to do.
Ever since he handed over his father’s files to Logan yesterday and told them about his military-like education at a private prep-school everyone seems to think that he could at least work for his keep now.
They haven’t asked yet. About his family. They don’t seem to be too keen on knowing anyway. None of the TC’s leading figures seem to be interested at all. They don’t know how to take Jared, only have his dreams to go on, no news or police report. No missing person’s report either according to Logan, even though Jared has an aunt and uncle somewhere but never dared to contact them out of fear he might endanger them though it.
Only Max really knows more than just the basic fact of his parent’s being killed. But Max only knows because she took over Jared-watching duty from Joshua one night and Jared had been hit by his worst nightmare in a while.
She hasn’t told anybody. Jared thinks they are all waiting for him to break down or to suddenly turn out to be something special they could all use in their fight for survival. He slowly learns his way around TC, has already learned not to bother Alec when council meetings take place, nor to try and seek out Max when she just returned from one of the missions.
He also finally gets why Alec never really bothers to get to know him despite Max’ sort of command for Alec to be some kind of tutor for Jared or whatever he is supposed to be. Alec just thinks Jared is making TC situation even worse.
So Jared keeps to himself, tries to stay out of the way and tries not to feel like everyone wants to rather have him out of TC. He even gives his food away most of the time, to the kids and teenagers who look like the really need it. Keeps the survival-sized portions for himself, like at summer camp.
Joshua might know about it, though, because the man has taken to hovering close to Jared when it’s meal time. No one has said anything, and if Max comments on him needing new clothes or Alec mentions his lack of power during training, no one seems to really think anything of it.
Jared tries to go back to the paper in front of him, tries to sort out the pieces of the fifth transmitter he worked on this morning. The dizziness gets worse instead of better and he has to blink to clear his view.
Emotions are poking at his mind like fire pokers or knives that constantly try to carve something into his brain. Sometimes there are images even, like thoughts transmitted but he never knows where they are coming from or who the source is.
He feels hot, sweaty and not all that good.
Can’t break down, though. Not today, not the day of his first mission. He is finally allowed out of TC. Sure, it’s just for a few blocks and just to collect some things from a trader that comes to the city every few weeks but still he can get outside.
The water cup next to his hand rattles a little and startles him. It’s another new thing: apparently, when he is distraught, things move. He doesn’t believe it at all but Joshua keeps on telling him after every night watch.
Right now he can feel eyes on him and sighs. He is the freak among freaks. Nothing new then.
He has been here for two weeks now, still doesn’t know if he wants to stay. Though, seeing as Max seems to be intent on keep him here for his own safety, he doesn’t really think he can get out of Seattle anyway. Not to mention that he doesn’t have an idea where to go. At least here he has a place to sleep.
People look at him with a mixture of pity, distrust and utter disbelief.
Jared feels like they see him and are thinking ‘poor little kid had no idea that he really, truly is a freak and that government created him’ - which isn’t really sure yet anyway because Logan is still going through the files and Jared refuses to think that he is not his parent’s son. He feels like that the others judge him for the way he grew up, that he didn’t go through all the training and torture and mind fucks his so-called brothers and sisters had to live through until it all came crushing down.
If he is their brother, that is. And he hasn’t told them all that much about school either so their knowledge of him is rather limited, but Jared doesn’t have the energy to correct them or to fight it. He just wants to finally know what’s going on.
He knows Max asked Logan to look into it some more, not just the files. Jared is actually afraid of might come out of that. He has only read some of the files he found at home and that only once. He doesn’t understand even half of it, doesn’t know if he wants to. Just looking around him makes him feel a little nauseous.
Genetics never were his thing; catching parts of conversations between the leaders of TC and Logan makes him want to hide though. He can’t think of himself like that, as bad and as conceited as it sounds.
He is not like THAT. Not them.
But then he might be. Probably is. And it’s all in the files he took from home. Every time he thinks about, really thinks about it he feels sick, feels like crying. He has been all cried out a long time ago.
Even in his mind the word ‘home’ has a bitter taste to it now.
Jared looks around the room that he has come to accept as the center of operations in Terminal City. Max has been trying to include him in the different tasks that are necessary to run their little refuge but it has been difficult. His lack of designation and barcode is what troubles most of TC’s people because those are the things they identify each other with. They belong through a tattoo, through a designation.
Jared has none of that. He doesn’t belong.
It makes him ache with longing and homesickness. Sometimes it even makes him wonder why he ever thought TC would be the right place for him.
***
Movement next to him pulls him out of his funk. Not completely, but at least enough to be able to smile at Joshua when he is presented with another attempt of a comic strip. Joshua has been trying to delve into other kinds of arts but Jared thinks he has chosen the wrong form. He won’t say that out loud though, he is not one to hurt others over things like that. And Joshua seems to like his new form of expression.
Joshua smiles, slides the paper over the table Jared is supposed to be working at transmitters and which he has been done with an hour ago but no one actually checked up on him. No one ever really does, they just want him out of their sights anyway. The paper is empty, which confuses Jared.
“What’s with all the white in the picture, big fella?” Jared tries to smile, tries to hide the headache and nausea. He thinks Joshua isn’t fooled but sighs in relief when the other man just pats him on the back. Well, okay almost hits him on the back with one of his gigantic paws.
He can hear Alec snort when he almost face-plants on the table. Jared just sighs and smiles at Joshua anyway. He feels dizzy but tries to suppress the urge to groan. Maybe a little more food would be good.
“Empty space. For Jared to fill. You should try it. It is fun.”
“I should fill it? With what?” Jared knows he sounds confused. He also knows that he can draw and that Joshua has seen him do it. But he can’t really figure out what he is supposed to do now. Joshua just nods.
“Words and Pictures.” He says and Jared starts to get it.
“You want me to do the comic strip thingy?” It’s asked tentatively and he instinctively dugs away when he feels Joshua move again. Another hit in his back might actually send him down for a while.
“Yes?” Jared almost laughs at Joshua and the way he tries to sound all innocent. Dalton, who has sat down across from Jared a few minute ago, smirks, which makes Jared think the kid hangs around Alec way too much.
“Why?”
“Because you know what is on your mind and what wants out. Try it, you have nothing else to do.” Jared knows Joshua is talking about his dreams, wants him to get them out of his mind. Joshua wants him to talk but Jared can’t. So maybe this is another way. Jared is willing to try anything which doesn’t involve him baring his soul through long winded and emotional conversations.
“You are right on that account. Well, then…”
Joshua leaves him alone after a while, bored, Jared thinks but doesn’t try to hold him back. Joshua, unlike Jared, has important things and tasks to do around TC. Jared draws, writes a little even and just lets his mind wander. He has always been good with this kind of creativity and now he wonders if it’s really only him or something else.
Jared can’t be sure of anything anymore, least about things connected to himself.
He is about done when a shadow falls over the sheet he is working on. Jared thinks it’s Max because it’s too small to be Joshua, and Max is the only one really bothering to care for Jared. So he looks up with a slight and hopeful smile only to let it drop again.
He prepares to be scolded for doing nothing but draw but all he can see on Alec’s face is some sort of wonder, confusion and questions even.
****
Blood. Everywhere.
Slippery, smearing the tiles. Handprints, footprints, all in red.
There is a knee on his lower back, keeping him down, and it's stronger than anything he has ever felt. There are men in their home, , going through every room, every cupboard, every dresser.
Voices ask him if he knows. Knows what?
Frustrated grunts and cries full of pain and anguish, are all he hears for a while.
His head is pressed against the floor, arms pinned, body almost immobile. He has never felt that helpless before. His famil, his life, everything breaks down around him. He sees them all in pain,his mother, his little sister. Hears them dying.
Sees reflections in the glass, the glass of his mom’s beloved coffee table. There are faces, unknown, unmoved. Fear spikes even more. What if they realize that he can see them, see their faces.
The man above moves, barks orders, roughly digs his knee further into skin, into bone. He is rigid, he can almost feel the bone giving in but then the pressure is gone. He is barely breathing now, hands around his neck make it almost impossible.
A face. A face reflected in the glass and everything goes dark.
By now Alec is used waking up like that, jack-knifing up in bed, breathing hard, mind filled with images he never wanted to see, with emotions he can barely stand. Yes, he has gotten used to it, but that doesn't mean he can escape the horror of it all.
Those are Jared’s dreams he sees, he has figured that out a while ago. With the way the kid is projecting it’s not even all that surprising. He just wonders why he seems to be the only one actually seeing things. The others only feel it.
He knows he shouldn’t feel annoyed, should feel sorry rather than angry. But he needs his sleep and Jared's nightmares destroy any possibility of that. It gets to him even though it shouldn't, Manticore and its training shouldn't be so easily overridden. Of course, he sees the way Jared is dealing with things and that is enough to quell any angry words. Because Jared isn’t dealing at all.
Jared doesn’t even seem to know that he is projecting and Alec refuses to be the one telling him. Not now anyway. If the images are enough to kill his sleep, he doesn’t want to know how bad they are for Jared. Jared who saw it all, who was there. Who isn't a trained killer.
Alec knows it happened, knows it’s not just another nightmare. He knows why Jared is here, why he has been looking for this place. The kid is looking for answers. And so is Alec. Solving this, helping Jared, might be a way to grant Alec some more hours of sleep each night. He is only doing it for selfish reasons. That’s what he is after all, according to Max, selfish.
He sometimes does wonder where his life is heading and why he suddenly is so fascinated by a seventeen year old teenager who seems to be traumatized to no end and who has no real idea who or what he is.
Alec has never been one to be drawn to charity cases, but then again Jared isn’t exactly that. And even despite being dragged into the boy’s dreams almost every night, Alec actually starts to see that there is more to the kid then he thought.
He sighs, wiggles out of the sheets but then just lays there. No Joshua in sight today, no Max barging in demanding things, no Dalton asking for new lessons way too early in the morning. It might be a good day, despite the way he woke up.
He feels a little less grumpy, more awake, more aware for some reason. He is actually looking forward to the mission today. He needs to get out, needs time away from TC and all the responsibilities it brings. He is even curious how Jared will hold up.
For the first time in days, Alec feels a little bad about the way he has been treating the kid, but he still doesn’t really trust him. Things have been on the edge at the council, White has been at it again, and Alec believes the man would do everything to bring Transgenics down. Even implant a seemingly innocent kid into the higher ranks of Terminal City, even going so far to get files going along with that. Files Logan is currently brooding over and which will bring light into things, at least Alec hopes so.
Still, there is something about Jared Alec can’t pinpoint. Something that makes Alec hold back, just makes him watch and try to figure the kid out.
Jared is fascinating and that's enough to creep Alec out.. Creepy and cute, with all the floppy hair and the innocent shining through.
Alec takes a deep breath, gets up and prays for the water to work. He freezes in the middle of the room. Stops dead and doesn’t dare to even twitch.
The face he saw in the dream, the face Jared saw when his family was killed. Alec wished he hadn’t seen it at all.
White.
***
He foregoes his morning routine, dresses quickly and actually managed to drag Max away from whatever overly important thing she has been doing. She is annoyed but if what he saw is true, this will be way more important that anything else.
Alec makes sure to not be too suspicious, says 'Hi' to everyone they meet, doesn’t growl or snap, and tries to smile casually at any raised eyebrow. Even Max now knows that something is up. She is going willingly, not struggling, evens asks what’s up, if everything is okay. He drags her through half of command central, away from prying eyes and ears. Away from people who could be able to listen in or catch up on emotions.
Jared is sitting close but far away enough for Alec. Not that he thinks the kid would be able to pick anything up the way he seems to be zoned out, looking pale and even thinner. Alec flinches a little at the sight, wonders if Joshua’s concern about food and Jared’s mental state are justified after all. The boy looks like a ghost and Alec can see him squinting, as if he can’t see straight.
Remembering what happened the last time Jared got overwhelmed by things, Alec wonders if the next breakdown is close and if he really should take Jared along. He silently curses himself for not seeing it sooner, for not realizing what kind of risk Jared actually poses. Not because he is here but because he obviously isn’t up to anything as taxing as outside missions.
He’ll have to talk to Max about it, which brings him back to the task at hand. Max stands in front of him, suspicion in her eyes and arms crossed over her chest. Once, Alec would have found that intimidating, now he knows it’s just a defence mechanism. Max is probably as scared of things as everyone else, including Alec.
Alec sighs, scratches the back of his neck, and suddenly doesn’t really know how to explain things.
“Alec?” Max sounds cautious and not annoyed. Alec is pathetically grateful for that. It means he has been forceful enough and she is willing to listen. Still, the words are missing and there is just one image circling in his head. He doesn’t like it at all.
“What is it Alec? There is something wrong, right?”
Alec nods, sighs and just plunges ahead. “It’s Jared. I mean, not really but it’s connected to him. You know he dreams, right?” Alec feels rather idiotic standing in a corner with Max, whispering about one of their brothers. Because that’s what Jared is now, Alec has been over his anger with Max for taking in another stray for a while now.
“Yes, Joshua told me. Must be bad dreams the way he wakes up. What about them? Does he disturb you beauty-sleep with his screams? Thought he’d be far enough away from you.” The thing is, Alec should be annoyed at Max but has to admit that he knows where she is coming from. He has been a dick to Jared after all.
“Disturbing my sleep? Yeah, actually he is.” He sees Max scowling, ready to say something scathing but holds up his hand, asking for her attention. “He projects. Not only emotions but images as well. At least to me, it seems. I can… see. His dreams. What he is dreaming about. I don’t know how that is possible or how he does it.. But yeah…. I am re-living his horrors every night.”
“Oh.” It’s all Max says. She looks shell shocked, and Alec thinks she is starting to realize that what Jared saw, went through, might actually be worse than she thought it was. Jared is not talking about it, so no one really knows what happened.
“Yeah. But that’s not all. Last night I think I saw who… killed Jared’s family. Jared saw it and I got a glimpse. Not something I want to repeat but I guess I don’t have a choice.”
Max just looks at him for a second, just searches his eyes and says nothing. What she sees must scare her because when she looks at Jared, there is such a soul deep sadness in her own eyes that Alec has to take a breath.
“White? It was him you saw, right?”
Alec doesn’t even wonder how Max comes up with that. He knows that his own fear, so embarrassingly obvious, gave him away.
“Seems like he is on the hunt again. Seems like he has a missing piece that we had no idea about .. The way he killed the family, the way he almost killed Jared. Max, I think this is something big. Maybe too big for us.” Alec sees Joshua walk up to Jared, feels something clench in his heart, and he suddenly wishes Logan would hurry up with looking through the files. He wants to know what’s going on, why White is suddenly in the picture again after months of nothing.
Max nods, a little resigned. “We will keep him safe though. If Ames White was after Jared, if White actually thinks he is dead and somehow gets to know he isn’t, then things will get bad. I don’t know if we should take him outside now. It’s not safe. Not for us and especially not for him. Alec, I want to know what’s going on here.”
Alec knows what she means, feels it deep in his bones, and doesn’t know what to do next. He also knows that Jared is going stir-crazy, that the kids needs to get away from TC for a while, even if it’s just for some hours. “Let me take him anyway. It’s not far and he needs to get out. I won’t let anything happen to him.”
Alec feels slightly hurt at Max’ doubtful look but when she nods, he breathes in so deep that it almost hurts. He turns toward Jared and Joshua but stops when he feels a hand on his arm. It’s unusual for Max to touch him these days, not since Logan became a fixture again.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” Alec is genuinely confused and Max smiles at that.
“He is one of us and I know you don’t trust him but still… thank you for looking out for him.”
Alec doubts that he has been doing a very good job of that. Still, he nods at Max and makes his way over to the boy that seems to have become a rather big part of his life recently.
The drawings he sees when he comes to stand behind Jared take his breath away. Alec knows for sure that he has never seen anything quite as spectacular as these, not from a human being anyway. They are precise, beautifully detailed, and sketched in a way that makes Alec think of computers and not human hands. This kind of talent, this kind of precision and eye-hand-coordination cannot be ‘normal’ but then for people like him they are. This though, goes beyond anything Alec has ever seen in a Transgenic. This is combination of raw talent and genetics.
Alec is impressed.
Alec is stunned.
The smile Jared wears is one Alec has never seen before, all soft and trusting, and it makes him want to smile back. It’s catching and a little heart-warming but Alec doesn’t think about that. It’s gone as fast as it appears, leaves Alec feeling lonely, empty even, like he is missing something.
He knows what is missing.
He shakes his head a little, sees the four ready transmitters sitting there, and wonders why no one has checked on those. They are in demand and it seems like Jared has been done with them for a while now. Then Alec takes a look around and suddenly sees the carefully displayed indifference towards Jared. People aren’t ignoring him, people are scared of him.
Alec has definitely been a dick. He is one of the leaders, he should be some kind of role model, instead he infected everyone with his paranoia. Great, and now he feels guilty. Emotions are so not easy to deal with.
Jared groans a little, pinches his eyes close, and takes a deep breath. Alec knows he is the cause of it and feels even more guilty. Nice way to start the mission.
“Ready to go? Feel up to it?” He tries to play thing down, tries to keep it all casual. But every time he really looks at Jared now, he sees the blood, the dead bodies, White.
“Yeah. I can’t wait to get out of here.” The kid’s voice is shot to hell, Alec hears the nightly screams in it. He just nods, takes the backpack from under the table where Mole has stashed it and leads Jared out of busy command central.
***
The rain is coming down hard. Grey skies all over, mist coming up from the water.
Everything is wet. A little snow is there as well. It’s starting to freeze over and Alec wants to be home before the storm that is brewing out on the sea reaches them. He can see Jared shivering, reminds himself that he needs to talk about eating with the kid.
Alec feels the cold seeping through his clothes. The thing that surprises him is that he doesn’t mind too much. Jared is walking next to him, they keep close to the walls, mostly in the shadows. They don’t talk much, concentrate on not slipping, not falling and staying out of the winds as much as possible.
The trade went of without a hitch, much to Alec’s surprise. They got parts for a lot of things and Alec is rather proud of Jared for talking down the price that much. They got some food as well and Alec secured another meeting in a few days, this time for more food and water. He’ll take Jared with him again.
Alec feels good about this outing. Just the two of them actually worked out good. Just them without the confines and rules of Termincal City, without others watching their every step and taking Alec’s behaviour as clue or Jared’s as a hint of danger. Jared even asked some questions on the way to the trader, and he seemed surprised when Alec answered them without sarcasm.
Alec doesn’t know where it came from but he actually wanted to talk to Jared, tell him things about the council, about how they came to live in TC and what Manticore is. It was freeing. Jared seemed to soak it all up, open ear to everything Alec had to tell him.
Alec was even more impressed with him now than before, his fascination rising to a level. that might be problematic soon. Right now though he just wants them to get back to TC and finally make Jared eat properly and not give away his food out of misunderstood selflessness. Jared does look a little better now, probably due to being away from all the emotions.
Jared slips a little in front of him, and Alec gets a hold of him just in time. Grabs onto the jacket and pulls the thin body against his chest. Alec realizes that Jared is taller than him now. The kid is still growing and Alec can’t help but snort.
They stumble against a stone wall, a wall that separates them from the entrance to TC they took a few hours ago. Jared is about to wiggle out of Alec’s arms when they hear voices. They both freeze, stay locked in the way they are and just listen.
Jared is pressed against his chest and Alec is not letting him go. His gun is safely tucked against his back, easy to reach but he has to let go of Jared to do so.
“Stay still. I just need to get my gun.” He whispers it against Jared’s ear, feels him shudder, and tries not to feel smug about that. Of course, he has seen Jared looking. He just chose to ignore it. Right now he needs to concentrate on other things.
The voices get close, are around the corner. Way too close for Alec’s liking. Too close to the entrance, too close to them hiding against the wall. He knows Jared can fight, has seen it during the lessons, knows about the military training. He also knows that Jared isn’t really in the condition to truly fight.
“Who is that?” Jared’s voice is low, so low that Alec knows only he can hear it. The kid is learning to use his Transgenic senses or it’s just an unconscious thing due to the eminent danger.
“Don’t know. Stay against the wall.” He can feel Jared object, feels him strain against his arms and puts a hand over his mouth. He doesn’t know what else to do to prevent Jared from inavertedly giving their position away. “Please. Just stay here, safe. Let me look. Okay?”
The nod he gets is good enough and Alec lets Jared go, pushes him against the wall, out of sight, lets a hand rest against the kids chest. Just a precaution, not to keep on touching. Jared huffs, chest moving under Alec’s hand, and Alec smiles a little. Rebellious is a streak Alec hasn’t seen so far, he think he might like the kid this way.
He peeks around the corner, lets his eyes scan over the cars and people milling around in the street. It’s a busy street usually, this way it gives enough cover for the underground entrance, they usually just mingle among the people on the street when they go in or out. It’s not a perfect cover but it works.
This time though, the voices aren’t coming from the street but from the alleyway Alec and Jared have to use to get onto the street. There are three dark cars, cars Alec knows just too well, and then he has to duck back when one of the men turns to look around. It’s unusual for his heartbeat to pick up that much, even in dangerous situations. But then he feels Jared under his hand and knows that it’s not him alone in this but Jared as well.
He promised Max to keep him safe. Promised himself to look out for the kid the second they stepped out of TC.
He dares another look, whips back around when there are two men now looking into their direction. His heart skips a beat when he realizes who it is..
What are they doing here? They can’t get into TC, they made sure of that.
This is not good at all.
There are others ways into TC of course, other ways all over the district. He can’t risk taking Jared to another district, not without proper passes and not with all the goods they are carrying with them.
Mentally going through other ways into TC that do not include having to cross that street, Alec plasters himself against the wall again. Wills Jared to stay as quiet as he can. Jared doesn’t utter a single tone, is immobile against Alec’s hand, almost as if he isn’t breathing.
Alec looks, sees that Jared is frozen in place, and suddenly knows how the kid survived. It’s a neat trick and he’ll tell Max about it as soon as they are safely inside Terminal City. Maybe this new feature of Jared’s can bring them closer to finding who and what he is.
He stirs Jared towards the way they came, hopes that the next alley will be empty and free. Almost cries out when it is. They make their way slowly along the wall, Jared is responsive but still not uttering a word.
“Come on Jay. Guys in dark suits, so we have to find another way home.” It gets him a nod again, but nothing more.
They reach the street in the shadows of one of the mobile market cars. The corner is void of any dark cars or men in suits, empty of any other threats as well. Alec guides them forward, searches the street up and down before he moves again. Checks every angle and always looks up the street towards the alley they just avoided.
He sees the flicker of dark coats but nothing too close. They are hidden from view for most of the time and Alec hopes it will stay this way until they reach the fence. They walk slowly, check the carts, and Alec sees Jared looking around as well. Jared is alert, eyes moving, checking.
They hide, duck out of sight, around people and cars. When they are halfway across the street, Alec is about to sigh in relief when he feels something is wrong. Terribly wrong.
Jared whimpers. Almost painfully and stops moving.
Alec curses, looks around and sees Ames White standing in the alley looking over the street. Alec sighs, manages to drag Jared a little further toward the fence so that they are out of view again and hopes it’s not too late. When he finally dares to look at Jared, Alec flinches.
The kid is pale, as white as a ghost, eyes fixed on where White is standing. Eyes glazed over, breath coming out in short gasps, and there are tears running down his cheeks. Alec knows a panic attack when he sees one. And this is turning into a nightmare very fast. Looking at Jared, Alec knows the boy is living in one right now.
“No. Please. No. Don’t… Not him. Not here. No.” It’s so soft, so broken that Alec can’t help but feel the pain. Jared is projecting but Alec feels it all himself as well.
“Sssh, Jared. It’s okay. We are safe soon. Just a little bit along the fence. Come one. Help me a bit. You can do it. Jared, come on. Please.” Alec is aware that he is babbling. It helps though, it’s soothing, and it seems to get Jared to move.
They move slowly, Alec checking around them, Jared fixed on White, whispering pleas and almost begging Alec to get them away, to get them home.
The second things turn from bad to worse Alec feels his heart stand still. White sees them, sees Jared.
Alec can see White’s eyes grow wide and then all hell breaks loose. Jared’s pleading scream of ‘no’ is something Alec will never forget again.
Part 3 A
Author: the_milky_way
Genre: Dark Angel/RPS
Pairing: Alec/X5!Jared
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 7.071
Warnings/Spoilers: none
Beta: Thanks to sandrine and to fly_bluebird
Disclaimer: This story is fictional (not real, didn't happen). Not true in any way. I don't own anything. Dark Angel belongs to Fox and no money is being made out of this.
Summary: In a future not far from now, in a broken world, family is all you can rely upon.
Green eyes look down at him. Concerned. Fear and relief, annoyance as well, all those varied emotions are there. Expressive eyes even though the face is blank. He feels calm though. Almost relaxed.
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"The Long Way Home Part 1"
"The Long Way Home Part 2 A"
Green eyes look down at him. Concerned. Fear and relief, annoyance as well, all those varied emotions are there. Expressive eyes even though the face is blank. He feels calm though. Almost relaxed.
It doesn’t last long though. He is hauled up by his arms and is almost surprised that the strength used isn’t hurting him all that much.
He stems his feet against the floor and successfully prevents himself from being dragged out of the loft.
It’s almost a stare-off. The silence heavy between them.
They are close, just looking at each other and not moving at all.
And the only thing he can think about is how the rays of the sun almost cast a halo around the other man.
Jared blinks, slowly tries to focus and come back to the here and now. It’s not the first time this has happened. It’s not the first time that his daydreams are about green eyes and a scowl. He knows he should just stop it but he seems unable to do so.
He keeps zoning out, almost gets caught up in his daydreams and then, when he is back, things start to get bad. Usually he gets scolded for not paying attention, for not taking things serious enough.
He is almost glad that people ignore him this morning, leaving alone. He is not one of them and he doubts he’ll ever be.
The pounding is back. A hammer is a nice way to describe the things drumming in his temples. The pressure is almost too much again. Everything swims in front of his eyes and he has a hard time to not just let his head rest on the table and close his eyes. He doesn’t need to slip away again. It hurts a little already and he knows the next headache will be epic again.
At least now he sort of knows where the headaches are coming from and can work on how to block the cause. Not that he has been overly successful but he didn’t faint again.
One embarrassment less. He can live without going through that again. Alec still mocks him for it, collapsing in a strangers arms just because he couldn’t deal, didn’t know how to. Alec is also pissed at him for running the next time it got too much.
Alec hates being Jared’s assigned baby-sitter, almost as much as Jared hates being so close to someone with emotions running wild.
Sometimes, no, most times actually, Jared wishes he could go and vanish again. Like he tried to do on that second day in TC when Alec wouldn’t stop smirking, Max wouldn’t stop hovering and Joshua just wouldn’t stop being there. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t sleep and Terminal City was so much more and so much less than he thought it might be.
He had just wandered off one day, not telling anyone where he was going, mainly because he had no idea himself. He just walked, looked into rooms, into buildings. Found out that there were still places where one could be alone, away from all the people, all the feelings and waves of emotions.
In a loft, high above everything else, in a building that probably once was one of the higher priced apartment blocks Jared finally found the peace he had been looking for. He had slept of twelve hors straight, uninterrupted and for once free of dreams or nightmares. Jared smiles a little at that, wishes he could go back there and just shut it all out. He knows he won’t be allowed, too. Not alone anyway and that would defeat the purpose.
They think of him as a child, not a man who has spent a year on the street. They think of him as innocent because he has no real idea anymore of what he is and of what made him like this.
He knows people here think he is an abnormality, not the same kind of freak they are. Their freakiness unites them, his sets him apart. Everyone seems to think of him as incapable of dealing and he sort of proved them right by just vanishing.
Yeah, Jared knows he should start thinking before he acts. But then, getting away had been his first impulse: self-preservation. No one seemed to get it though.
Alec found him.
Jared is still confused about that.
Alec found him lying in a corner, hidden from the entrance and the window, asleep. And Alec had just sat there, watching him. Jared could still feel the calm that swept over him, the almost unbearable relief that enclosed him in his sleep and woke him up in the end. He knew it had been coming from Alec but the scowl and the angry words contradicted any emotion Jared might have felt. And then there was anger and fear mixed into it all, it got too much too fast and Jared’s vision went black for a moment.
When he came to again, Alec was looking down on him with a blank expression. It hasn’t changed since then. Now he isn’t sure anymore what exactly it was that he felt coming from Alec. Maybe he imagined it all.
Not being allowed to roam on his own is definitely a downer. He feels like he is twelve again and not allowed to leave the house during holidays due to his Dad’s work, which he never really understood.
Max says TC is too dangerous for him, Jared thinks they just don’t trust him.
Not getting away from things makes it hard to concentrate, makes it hard not to get snappy and rude when emotions run high and Jared can’t block them out anymore.
Apparently being close to Transgenics triggers his senses more than ‘normal’ people ever had and he has to learn how to put a lid on it all. He has to learn how to keep it away from himself when he doesn’t need to ready anyone’s emotions.
Suma, one of the empathic X6 - and Jared is slowly learning all the correct transgenic terms - has been trying to practice trance like states with him. Jared thinks she is losing patience and he can’t help but feel idiotic, sitting in the middle of an empty room humming ‘oohm’ noises.
He is too embarrassed to admit that it’s helping a little.
He is an empath, that much they figured out so far, and he doesn’t really know how to go about it. All his life he’s always known he was a freak but to what epic proportions it extended now is way beyond his mental capacity to grasps it fully and entirely. Or so he tells himself.
Everything is still too much and Jared doesn’t know what else to do but draw into himself. His world is slowly crashing down around him. His world view, his view of himself and his family, everything was a lie or not what he thought it was. Jared is pretty sure that he should be excused from any logical thought process for a while.
So now he is sitting there, in command central, surrounded by busy people and trying to block them all out. It’s part of his training, as Max likes to call it now. Jared hates that word, has ever since school and he tries to tell Max that every time she comes up with new ways of how to train him.
Alec seems to have checked out of that whole process, he just teaches Jared with all the other transgencis, treats him like a kid and doesn’t really engage any kind of contact outside of lessons.
Max doesn’t like it but never really says anything, just excuses Alec’s non-behavior with the stressful council work. A council Jared has no idea about and every time he asks what it actually is no one even tries to explain. They just tell him it’s important work for Transgenics. It’s like they think he doesn’t need to know about it all because it’s not important for him.
Jared tries not to be too disappointed about that because right now he has other things to deal with.
Alec, as well, is just one of the things Jared can put on the ‘deal with it later’ list.
****
Command central is busy this morning and Jared is supposed to help out with planning the next few outings. Jared just can’t concentrate enough to come up with any good organization plans or work on any more transmitters. He’d had a bad night again and is glad that he can’t remember. He is glad that he has some work to do.
Ever since he handed over his father’s files to Logan yesterday and told them about his military-like education at a private prep-school everyone seems to think that he could at least work for his keep now.
They haven’t asked yet. About his family. They don’t seem to be too keen on knowing anyway. None of the TC’s leading figures seem to be interested at all. They don’t know how to take Jared, only have his dreams to go on, no news or police report. No missing person’s report either according to Logan, even though Jared has an aunt and uncle somewhere but never dared to contact them out of fear he might endanger them though it.
Only Max really knows more than just the basic fact of his parent’s being killed. But Max only knows because she took over Jared-watching duty from Joshua one night and Jared had been hit by his worst nightmare in a while.
She hasn’t told anybody. Jared thinks they are all waiting for him to break down or to suddenly turn out to be something special they could all use in their fight for survival. He slowly learns his way around TC, has already learned not to bother Alec when council meetings take place, nor to try and seek out Max when she just returned from one of the missions.
He also finally gets why Alec never really bothers to get to know him despite Max’ sort of command for Alec to be some kind of tutor for Jared or whatever he is supposed to be. Alec just thinks Jared is making TC situation even worse.
So Jared keeps to himself, tries to stay out of the way and tries not to feel like everyone wants to rather have him out of TC. He even gives his food away most of the time, to the kids and teenagers who look like the really need it. Keeps the survival-sized portions for himself, like at summer camp.
Joshua might know about it, though, because the man has taken to hovering close to Jared when it’s meal time. No one has said anything, and if Max comments on him needing new clothes or Alec mentions his lack of power during training, no one seems to really think anything of it.
Jared tries to go back to the paper in front of him, tries to sort out the pieces of the fifth transmitter he worked on this morning. The dizziness gets worse instead of better and he has to blink to clear his view.
Emotions are poking at his mind like fire pokers or knives that constantly try to carve something into his brain. Sometimes there are images even, like thoughts transmitted but he never knows where they are coming from or who the source is.
He feels hot, sweaty and not all that good.
Can’t break down, though. Not today, not the day of his first mission. He is finally allowed out of TC. Sure, it’s just for a few blocks and just to collect some things from a trader that comes to the city every few weeks but still he can get outside.
The water cup next to his hand rattles a little and startles him. It’s another new thing: apparently, when he is distraught, things move. He doesn’t believe it at all but Joshua keeps on telling him after every night watch.
Right now he can feel eyes on him and sighs. He is the freak among freaks. Nothing new then.
He has been here for two weeks now, still doesn’t know if he wants to stay. Though, seeing as Max seems to be intent on keep him here for his own safety, he doesn’t really think he can get out of Seattle anyway. Not to mention that he doesn’t have an idea where to go. At least here he has a place to sleep.
People look at him with a mixture of pity, distrust and utter disbelief.
Jared feels like they see him and are thinking ‘poor little kid had no idea that he really, truly is a freak and that government created him’ - which isn’t really sure yet anyway because Logan is still going through the files and Jared refuses to think that he is not his parent’s son. He feels like that the others judge him for the way he grew up, that he didn’t go through all the training and torture and mind fucks his so-called brothers and sisters had to live through until it all came crushing down.
If he is their brother, that is. And he hasn’t told them all that much about school either so their knowledge of him is rather limited, but Jared doesn’t have the energy to correct them or to fight it. He just wants to finally know what’s going on.
He knows Max asked Logan to look into it some more, not just the files. Jared is actually afraid of might come out of that. He has only read some of the files he found at home and that only once. He doesn’t understand even half of it, doesn’t know if he wants to. Just looking around him makes him feel a little nauseous.
Genetics never were his thing; catching parts of conversations between the leaders of TC and Logan makes him want to hide though. He can’t think of himself like that, as bad and as conceited as it sounds.
He is not like THAT. Not them.
But then he might be. Probably is. And it’s all in the files he took from home. Every time he thinks about, really thinks about it he feels sick, feels like crying. He has been all cried out a long time ago.
Even in his mind the word ‘home’ has a bitter taste to it now.
Jared looks around the room that he has come to accept as the center of operations in Terminal City. Max has been trying to include him in the different tasks that are necessary to run their little refuge but it has been difficult. His lack of designation and barcode is what troubles most of TC’s people because those are the things they identify each other with. They belong through a tattoo, through a designation.
Jared has none of that. He doesn’t belong.
It makes him ache with longing and homesickness. Sometimes it even makes him wonder why he ever thought TC would be the right place for him.
***
Movement next to him pulls him out of his funk. Not completely, but at least enough to be able to smile at Joshua when he is presented with another attempt of a comic strip. Joshua has been trying to delve into other kinds of arts but Jared thinks he has chosen the wrong form. He won’t say that out loud though, he is not one to hurt others over things like that. And Joshua seems to like his new form of expression.
Joshua smiles, slides the paper over the table Jared is supposed to be working at transmitters and which he has been done with an hour ago but no one actually checked up on him. No one ever really does, they just want him out of their sights anyway. The paper is empty, which confuses Jared.
“What’s with all the white in the picture, big fella?” Jared tries to smile, tries to hide the headache and nausea. He thinks Joshua isn’t fooled but sighs in relief when the other man just pats him on the back. Well, okay almost hits him on the back with one of his gigantic paws.
He can hear Alec snort when he almost face-plants on the table. Jared just sighs and smiles at Joshua anyway. He feels dizzy but tries to suppress the urge to groan. Maybe a little more food would be good.
“Empty space. For Jared to fill. You should try it. It is fun.”
“I should fill it? With what?” Jared knows he sounds confused. He also knows that he can draw and that Joshua has seen him do it. But he can’t really figure out what he is supposed to do now. Joshua just nods.
“Words and Pictures.” He says and Jared starts to get it.
“You want me to do the comic strip thingy?” It’s asked tentatively and he instinctively dugs away when he feels Joshua move again. Another hit in his back might actually send him down for a while.
“Yes?” Jared almost laughs at Joshua and the way he tries to sound all innocent. Dalton, who has sat down across from Jared a few minute ago, smirks, which makes Jared think the kid hangs around Alec way too much.
“Why?”
“Because you know what is on your mind and what wants out. Try it, you have nothing else to do.” Jared knows Joshua is talking about his dreams, wants him to get them out of his mind. Joshua wants him to talk but Jared can’t. So maybe this is another way. Jared is willing to try anything which doesn’t involve him baring his soul through long winded and emotional conversations.
“You are right on that account. Well, then…”
Joshua leaves him alone after a while, bored, Jared thinks but doesn’t try to hold him back. Joshua, unlike Jared, has important things and tasks to do around TC. Jared draws, writes a little even and just lets his mind wander. He has always been good with this kind of creativity and now he wonders if it’s really only him or something else.
Jared can’t be sure of anything anymore, least about things connected to himself.
He is about done when a shadow falls over the sheet he is working on. Jared thinks it’s Max because it’s too small to be Joshua, and Max is the only one really bothering to care for Jared. So he looks up with a slight and hopeful smile only to let it drop again.
He prepares to be scolded for doing nothing but draw but all he can see on Alec’s face is some sort of wonder, confusion and questions even.
****
Blood. Everywhere.
Slippery, smearing the tiles. Handprints, footprints, all in red.
There is a knee on his lower back, keeping him down, and it's stronger than anything he has ever felt. There are men in their home, , going through every room, every cupboard, every dresser.
Voices ask him if he knows. Knows what?
Frustrated grunts and cries full of pain and anguish, are all he hears for a while.
His head is pressed against the floor, arms pinned, body almost immobile. He has never felt that helpless before. His famil, his life, everything breaks down around him. He sees them all in pain,his mother, his little sister. Hears them dying.
Sees reflections in the glass, the glass of his mom’s beloved coffee table. There are faces, unknown, unmoved. Fear spikes even more. What if they realize that he can see them, see their faces.
The man above moves, barks orders, roughly digs his knee further into skin, into bone. He is rigid, he can almost feel the bone giving in but then the pressure is gone. He is barely breathing now, hands around his neck make it almost impossible.
A face. A face reflected in the glass and everything goes dark.
By now Alec is used waking up like that, jack-knifing up in bed, breathing hard, mind filled with images he never wanted to see, with emotions he can barely stand. Yes, he has gotten used to it, but that doesn't mean he can escape the horror of it all.
Those are Jared’s dreams he sees, he has figured that out a while ago. With the way the kid is projecting it’s not even all that surprising. He just wonders why he seems to be the only one actually seeing things. The others only feel it.
He knows he shouldn’t feel annoyed, should feel sorry rather than angry. But he needs his sleep and Jared's nightmares destroy any possibility of that. It gets to him even though it shouldn't, Manticore and its training shouldn't be so easily overridden. Of course, he sees the way Jared is dealing with things and that is enough to quell any angry words. Because Jared isn’t dealing at all.
Jared doesn’t even seem to know that he is projecting and Alec refuses to be the one telling him. Not now anyway. If the images are enough to kill his sleep, he doesn’t want to know how bad they are for Jared. Jared who saw it all, who was there. Who isn't a trained killer.
Alec knows it happened, knows it’s not just another nightmare. He knows why Jared is here, why he has been looking for this place. The kid is looking for answers. And so is Alec. Solving this, helping Jared, might be a way to grant Alec some more hours of sleep each night. He is only doing it for selfish reasons. That’s what he is after all, according to Max, selfish.
He sometimes does wonder where his life is heading and why he suddenly is so fascinated by a seventeen year old teenager who seems to be traumatized to no end and who has no real idea who or what he is.
Alec has never been one to be drawn to charity cases, but then again Jared isn’t exactly that. And even despite being dragged into the boy’s dreams almost every night, Alec actually starts to see that there is more to the kid then he thought.
He sighs, wiggles out of the sheets but then just lays there. No Joshua in sight today, no Max barging in demanding things, no Dalton asking for new lessons way too early in the morning. It might be a good day, despite the way he woke up.
He feels a little less grumpy, more awake, more aware for some reason. He is actually looking forward to the mission today. He needs to get out, needs time away from TC and all the responsibilities it brings. He is even curious how Jared will hold up.
For the first time in days, Alec feels a little bad about the way he has been treating the kid, but he still doesn’t really trust him. Things have been on the edge at the council, White has been at it again, and Alec believes the man would do everything to bring Transgenics down. Even implant a seemingly innocent kid into the higher ranks of Terminal City, even going so far to get files going along with that. Files Logan is currently brooding over and which will bring light into things, at least Alec hopes so.
Still, there is something about Jared Alec can’t pinpoint. Something that makes Alec hold back, just makes him watch and try to figure the kid out.
Jared is fascinating and that's enough to creep Alec out.. Creepy and cute, with all the floppy hair and the innocent shining through.
Alec takes a deep breath, gets up and prays for the water to work. He freezes in the middle of the room. Stops dead and doesn’t dare to even twitch.
The face he saw in the dream, the face Jared saw when his family was killed. Alec wished he hadn’t seen it at all.
White.
***
He foregoes his morning routine, dresses quickly and actually managed to drag Max away from whatever overly important thing she has been doing. She is annoyed but if what he saw is true, this will be way more important that anything else.
Alec makes sure to not be too suspicious, says 'Hi' to everyone they meet, doesn’t growl or snap, and tries to smile casually at any raised eyebrow. Even Max now knows that something is up. She is going willingly, not struggling, evens asks what’s up, if everything is okay. He drags her through half of command central, away from prying eyes and ears. Away from people who could be able to listen in or catch up on emotions.
Jared is sitting close but far away enough for Alec. Not that he thinks the kid would be able to pick anything up the way he seems to be zoned out, looking pale and even thinner. Alec flinches a little at the sight, wonders if Joshua’s concern about food and Jared’s mental state are justified after all. The boy looks like a ghost and Alec can see him squinting, as if he can’t see straight.
Remembering what happened the last time Jared got overwhelmed by things, Alec wonders if the next breakdown is close and if he really should take Jared along. He silently curses himself for not seeing it sooner, for not realizing what kind of risk Jared actually poses. Not because he is here but because he obviously isn’t up to anything as taxing as outside missions.
He’ll have to talk to Max about it, which brings him back to the task at hand. Max stands in front of him, suspicion in her eyes and arms crossed over her chest. Once, Alec would have found that intimidating, now he knows it’s just a defence mechanism. Max is probably as scared of things as everyone else, including Alec.
Alec sighs, scratches the back of his neck, and suddenly doesn’t really know how to explain things.
“Alec?” Max sounds cautious and not annoyed. Alec is pathetically grateful for that. It means he has been forceful enough and she is willing to listen. Still, the words are missing and there is just one image circling in his head. He doesn’t like it at all.
“What is it Alec? There is something wrong, right?”
Alec nods, sighs and just plunges ahead. “It’s Jared. I mean, not really but it’s connected to him. You know he dreams, right?” Alec feels rather idiotic standing in a corner with Max, whispering about one of their brothers. Because that’s what Jared is now, Alec has been over his anger with Max for taking in another stray for a while now.
“Yes, Joshua told me. Must be bad dreams the way he wakes up. What about them? Does he disturb you beauty-sleep with his screams? Thought he’d be far enough away from you.” The thing is, Alec should be annoyed at Max but has to admit that he knows where she is coming from. He has been a dick to Jared after all.
“Disturbing my sleep? Yeah, actually he is.” He sees Max scowling, ready to say something scathing but holds up his hand, asking for her attention. “He projects. Not only emotions but images as well. At least to me, it seems. I can… see. His dreams. What he is dreaming about. I don’t know how that is possible or how he does it.. But yeah…. I am re-living his horrors every night.”
“Oh.” It’s all Max says. She looks shell shocked, and Alec thinks she is starting to realize that what Jared saw, went through, might actually be worse than she thought it was. Jared is not talking about it, so no one really knows what happened.
“Yeah. But that’s not all. Last night I think I saw who… killed Jared’s family. Jared saw it and I got a glimpse. Not something I want to repeat but I guess I don’t have a choice.”
Max just looks at him for a second, just searches his eyes and says nothing. What she sees must scare her because when she looks at Jared, there is such a soul deep sadness in her own eyes that Alec has to take a breath.
“White? It was him you saw, right?”
Alec doesn’t even wonder how Max comes up with that. He knows that his own fear, so embarrassingly obvious, gave him away.
“Seems like he is on the hunt again. Seems like he has a missing piece that we had no idea about .. The way he killed the family, the way he almost killed Jared. Max, I think this is something big. Maybe too big for us.” Alec sees Joshua walk up to Jared, feels something clench in his heart, and he suddenly wishes Logan would hurry up with looking through the files. He wants to know what’s going on, why White is suddenly in the picture again after months of nothing.
Max nods, a little resigned. “We will keep him safe though. If Ames White was after Jared, if White actually thinks he is dead and somehow gets to know he isn’t, then things will get bad. I don’t know if we should take him outside now. It’s not safe. Not for us and especially not for him. Alec, I want to know what’s going on here.”
Alec knows what she means, feels it deep in his bones, and doesn’t know what to do next. He also knows that Jared is going stir-crazy, that the kids needs to get away from TC for a while, even if it’s just for some hours. “Let me take him anyway. It’s not far and he needs to get out. I won’t let anything happen to him.”
Alec feels slightly hurt at Max’ doubtful look but when she nods, he breathes in so deep that it almost hurts. He turns toward Jared and Joshua but stops when he feels a hand on his arm. It’s unusual for Max to touch him these days, not since Logan became a fixture again.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” Alec is genuinely confused and Max smiles at that.
“He is one of us and I know you don’t trust him but still… thank you for looking out for him.”
Alec doubts that he has been doing a very good job of that. Still, he nods at Max and makes his way over to the boy that seems to have become a rather big part of his life recently.
The drawings he sees when he comes to stand behind Jared take his breath away. Alec knows for sure that he has never seen anything quite as spectacular as these, not from a human being anyway. They are precise, beautifully detailed, and sketched in a way that makes Alec think of computers and not human hands. This kind of talent, this kind of precision and eye-hand-coordination cannot be ‘normal’ but then for people like him they are. This though, goes beyond anything Alec has ever seen in a Transgenic. This is combination of raw talent and genetics.
Alec is impressed.
Alec is stunned.
The smile Jared wears is one Alec has never seen before, all soft and trusting, and it makes him want to smile back. It’s catching and a little heart-warming but Alec doesn’t think about that. It’s gone as fast as it appears, leaves Alec feeling lonely, empty even, like he is missing something.
He knows what is missing.
He shakes his head a little, sees the four ready transmitters sitting there, and wonders why no one has checked on those. They are in demand and it seems like Jared has been done with them for a while now. Then Alec takes a look around and suddenly sees the carefully displayed indifference towards Jared. People aren’t ignoring him, people are scared of him.
Alec has definitely been a dick. He is one of the leaders, he should be some kind of role model, instead he infected everyone with his paranoia. Great, and now he feels guilty. Emotions are so not easy to deal with.
Jared groans a little, pinches his eyes close, and takes a deep breath. Alec knows he is the cause of it and feels even more guilty. Nice way to start the mission.
“Ready to go? Feel up to it?” He tries to play thing down, tries to keep it all casual. But every time he really looks at Jared now, he sees the blood, the dead bodies, White.
“Yeah. I can’t wait to get out of here.” The kid’s voice is shot to hell, Alec hears the nightly screams in it. He just nods, takes the backpack from under the table where Mole has stashed it and leads Jared out of busy command central.
***
The rain is coming down hard. Grey skies all over, mist coming up from the water.
Everything is wet. A little snow is there as well. It’s starting to freeze over and Alec wants to be home before the storm that is brewing out on the sea reaches them. He can see Jared shivering, reminds himself that he needs to talk about eating with the kid.
Alec feels the cold seeping through his clothes. The thing that surprises him is that he doesn’t mind too much. Jared is walking next to him, they keep close to the walls, mostly in the shadows. They don’t talk much, concentrate on not slipping, not falling and staying out of the winds as much as possible.
The trade went of without a hitch, much to Alec’s surprise. They got parts for a lot of things and Alec is rather proud of Jared for talking down the price that much. They got some food as well and Alec secured another meeting in a few days, this time for more food and water. He’ll take Jared with him again.
Alec feels good about this outing. Just the two of them actually worked out good. Just them without the confines and rules of Termincal City, without others watching their every step and taking Alec’s behaviour as clue or Jared’s as a hint of danger. Jared even asked some questions on the way to the trader, and he seemed surprised when Alec answered them without sarcasm.
Alec doesn’t know where it came from but he actually wanted to talk to Jared, tell him things about the council, about how they came to live in TC and what Manticore is. It was freeing. Jared seemed to soak it all up, open ear to everything Alec had to tell him.
Alec was even more impressed with him now than before, his fascination rising to a level. that might be problematic soon. Right now though he just wants them to get back to TC and finally make Jared eat properly and not give away his food out of misunderstood selflessness. Jared does look a little better now, probably due to being away from all the emotions.
Jared slips a little in front of him, and Alec gets a hold of him just in time. Grabs onto the jacket and pulls the thin body against his chest. Alec realizes that Jared is taller than him now. The kid is still growing and Alec can’t help but snort.
They stumble against a stone wall, a wall that separates them from the entrance to TC they took a few hours ago. Jared is about to wiggle out of Alec’s arms when they hear voices. They both freeze, stay locked in the way they are and just listen.
Jared is pressed against his chest and Alec is not letting him go. His gun is safely tucked against his back, easy to reach but he has to let go of Jared to do so.
“Stay still. I just need to get my gun.” He whispers it against Jared’s ear, feels him shudder, and tries not to feel smug about that. Of course, he has seen Jared looking. He just chose to ignore it. Right now he needs to concentrate on other things.
The voices get close, are around the corner. Way too close for Alec’s liking. Too close to the entrance, too close to them hiding against the wall. He knows Jared can fight, has seen it during the lessons, knows about the military training. He also knows that Jared isn’t really in the condition to truly fight.
“Who is that?” Jared’s voice is low, so low that Alec knows only he can hear it. The kid is learning to use his Transgenic senses or it’s just an unconscious thing due to the eminent danger.
“Don’t know. Stay against the wall.” He can feel Jared object, feels him strain against his arms and puts a hand over his mouth. He doesn’t know what else to do to prevent Jared from inavertedly giving their position away. “Please. Just stay here, safe. Let me look. Okay?”
The nod he gets is good enough and Alec lets Jared go, pushes him against the wall, out of sight, lets a hand rest against the kids chest. Just a precaution, not to keep on touching. Jared huffs, chest moving under Alec’s hand, and Alec smiles a little. Rebellious is a streak Alec hasn’t seen so far, he think he might like the kid this way.
He peeks around the corner, lets his eyes scan over the cars and people milling around in the street. It’s a busy street usually, this way it gives enough cover for the underground entrance, they usually just mingle among the people on the street when they go in or out. It’s not a perfect cover but it works.
This time though, the voices aren’t coming from the street but from the alleyway Alec and Jared have to use to get onto the street. There are three dark cars, cars Alec knows just too well, and then he has to duck back when one of the men turns to look around. It’s unusual for his heartbeat to pick up that much, even in dangerous situations. But then he feels Jared under his hand and knows that it’s not him alone in this but Jared as well.
He promised Max to keep him safe. Promised himself to look out for the kid the second they stepped out of TC.
He dares another look, whips back around when there are two men now looking into their direction. His heart skips a beat when he realizes who it is..
What are they doing here? They can’t get into TC, they made sure of that.
This is not good at all.
There are others ways into TC of course, other ways all over the district. He can’t risk taking Jared to another district, not without proper passes and not with all the goods they are carrying with them.
Mentally going through other ways into TC that do not include having to cross that street, Alec plasters himself against the wall again. Wills Jared to stay as quiet as he can. Jared doesn’t utter a single tone, is immobile against Alec’s hand, almost as if he isn’t breathing.
Alec looks, sees that Jared is frozen in place, and suddenly knows how the kid survived. It’s a neat trick and he’ll tell Max about it as soon as they are safely inside Terminal City. Maybe this new feature of Jared’s can bring them closer to finding who and what he is.
He stirs Jared towards the way they came, hopes that the next alley will be empty and free. Almost cries out when it is. They make their way slowly along the wall, Jared is responsive but still not uttering a word.
“Come on Jay. Guys in dark suits, so we have to find another way home.” It gets him a nod again, but nothing more.
They reach the street in the shadows of one of the mobile market cars. The corner is void of any dark cars or men in suits, empty of any other threats as well. Alec guides them forward, searches the street up and down before he moves again. Checks every angle and always looks up the street towards the alley they just avoided.
He sees the flicker of dark coats but nothing too close. They are hidden from view for most of the time and Alec hopes it will stay this way until they reach the fence. They walk slowly, check the carts, and Alec sees Jared looking around as well. Jared is alert, eyes moving, checking.
They hide, duck out of sight, around people and cars. When they are halfway across the street, Alec is about to sigh in relief when he feels something is wrong. Terribly wrong.
Jared whimpers. Almost painfully and stops moving.
Alec curses, looks around and sees Ames White standing in the alley looking over the street. Alec sighs, manages to drag Jared a little further toward the fence so that they are out of view again and hopes it’s not too late. When he finally dares to look at Jared, Alec flinches.
The kid is pale, as white as a ghost, eyes fixed on where White is standing. Eyes glazed over, breath coming out in short gasps, and there are tears running down his cheeks. Alec knows a panic attack when he sees one. And this is turning into a nightmare very fast. Looking at Jared, Alec knows the boy is living in one right now.
“No. Please. No. Don’t… Not him. Not here. No.” It’s so soft, so broken that Alec can’t help but feel the pain. Jared is projecting but Alec feels it all himself as well.
“Sssh, Jared. It’s okay. We are safe soon. Just a little bit along the fence. Come one. Help me a bit. You can do it. Jared, come on. Please.” Alec is aware that he is babbling. It helps though, it’s soothing, and it seems to get Jared to move.
They move slowly, Alec checking around them, Jared fixed on White, whispering pleas and almost begging Alec to get them away, to get them home.
The second things turn from bad to worse Alec feels his heart stand still. White sees them, sees Jared.
Alec can see White’s eyes grow wide and then all hell breaks loose. Jared’s pleading scream of ‘no’ is something Alec will never forget again.
Part 3 A