Inviz Blend.
Title: Joel’s Epic Senior Year
Author: Um. Me. x-tired-crazy-x
Summary: AU (not related. SRY) Joel crushes on Benji… in epic proportions. The story takes place during their senior year of high school. I know… I’m so creative. Anyways, the whole world is… Wait, no, better than that, the entire universe is working against him. Can they even manage to get together or will evil scheming bitches keep them apart? Who knows? You gotta read it. It’s like a mystery.
Disclaimer: Not real. Never happened. Kind of impossible.
Last Minute Notes: This story is mildly complete. Right now, its over 50 pages. And I’m on the last part. I just felt like getting it up. (Posting it that is.)
Joel Has This Crush...:: Best Birthday Present Ever... Duh
Fucking Bitch is What the Girl Is
I’m nervous as fuck about stepping outside of my car, but I know I have to. I just… I’m scared. Yesterday, Josh dedicated to me and him and we spent the majority of the day wandering around town doing what brothers do. When I recommended that we go see a movie, I think Josh nearly shit his pants. As usual we ended up at the restaurant for something to eat. Benji and his friends just so happened to be there and Benji immediately pulled me over and introduced me to all his friends, telling me their names even though I already knew them. I still won’t forget the goofy grin on his face when he told them I was his boyfriend. The two girls sitting in the middle of the corner booth giggled and two of Benji’s other guy friend, Daniel and Kris clapped me on the back in congratulations. When I told Benji I was supposed to be spending the day with Josh, his eyes popped wide open and he returned me apologetically to my brother. “See you in school?” Benji asked.
“Of course,” I replied happy with how easy it was getting when it came to forming coherent sentences.
“Good.” Benji moved in and placed a chaste kiss on my cheek. As he walked away I blushed and Josh found it necessary to tease me for the rest of the day, but deep down I know how seriously happy he is for me.
Still, none of that can make the idea of facing the student body any easier. I know that people know about Benji and I. Hell, I checked my mail last night around ten o’clock and I was being overrun by Facebook and Myspace notifications. I happened to be on the phone with Benji when my jaw dropped and a breathy “Holy fuck,” left my lips.
Slowly, I take the keys out of the ignition and shove them in my jacket pocket. I open the door to the Impala and climb out, slamming the door pointlessly behind me. Um, I’m blaming that on the nerves. But why am I nervous?
Because you’re not invisible Joel! Not anymore… a little voice deems itself witty enough to answer the rhetorical question. Damn fucking head.
I lean against my car and center myself. Everything’s going to be okay… I just have to believe that. Trust me, that’s easier said then fucking done.
I finally manage to begin the short trek to the front lobby of the high school. When I open one of the doors it seems like everything is normal. Girls are running across the way laughing and pulling at each other. The hardcore stoner kids barely have their eyes open and oh yeah, as I walk by them, they reek.
There are the ghetto kids hanging around in their exclusive pack and the kids who are too poor to be gothic so instead insist on doing everything they can to be recognized as freaks. Hey, whatever suits your soul I suppose? Emo freshmen pass me on the stairs as I follow the route to my locker. One of them is wearing those strappy bondage boots and a plaid skirt, I think in an attempt to be ‘hardcore.’ She smiles at me, I smile back. Yet still, nothing overtly out of the ordinary has taken place. Maybe people adding me was just like some weird coincidence.
Once I make it to my locker I take a deep breath in and let it out. I turn the dial to the three numbers that make up my locker combo and open it up. I have nothing to put inside of it, only a binder for English class to take out.
“Hey you,” Benji whispers as a hand of his snakes down and around to my stomach while he stands behind me.
“Hey yourself,” I greet him, smiling already. My body initially tenses up at the touch, but I allow myself to relax and will away the uneasiness I feel about being in school. This is all I ever wanted, but having it is totally different then just dreaming about it. And in dreams there are a lot of things that you don’t have to worry about.
I turn myself around, my books held by my side so Benji is still pressed against my body. I can feel eyes on us and I don’t know. It makes me feel self-conscious.
“It’s fucking true then.”
Harsh words puncture the air around us as the one and only Samara seemingly parts the crowd with her anger and bitchiness. This was my exact fear. I knew she’d have something to say. Her black hair is held back in a pony tail so her facial expressions are easy to catch up on. She’s wearing nice fitting jeans, a studded belt with a purple shirt that has the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland on it. Over that is a dark green jacket with a furry hood.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she says loudly catching the attention of probably everyone in this hallway and then some more extras after that.
“What?” Benji spits just as nasty, pulling away from me a bit, but still staying close.
“You and that- you’re with… him,” she makes up some crude hand gesture with pretty much emphasizes the fact she’s disgusted in me. Oh- what-fucking-ever.
“He probably has AIDS or herpes or fucking gonorrhea. He’s fucking gay Benj, you’re not gay. You don’t take it up the ass,” Samara yells getting more upset and crazed as the seconds tic by. As crazy as she gets, I grow with anger at her words.
“Samara, do me a favor and stop spreading lies. Stop telling stupid rumors. Stop planning fucking pranks on the poor kid. Don’t you think you’ve done enough? You can’t win this time, okay? I’m not going to let you.”
Benji’s words come out strong and commanding like he’s planned out what he was going to say and practiced it in the mirror a few times to see which combination of movements would make him seem more menacing.
Samara is shaking her head. “I’m not done with you Benji. And you aren’t done with me. You love me, don’t you forget that.” Samara disappears almost as fast as she appeared. All the kids that were watching resume whatever it was that they were doing; most of them not really giving a shit at all about what is going on between me and my boyfriend. Yes, I know I could have just said Benji right there, but I’m still practicing trying out the title in my head.
Benji’s arms are suddenly around me as he pulls me into a tight hug. He rubs my back but then I pull back first and for some reason smiling.
“That was awkward,” I shake my head.
“Y’think?”
“No, I know awkward pretty damn well, and let me tell you, that,” I motion to where Samara just was. “Was fucking awkward.
“Are you afraid of her?” Benji asks suddenly and it catches me off guard requiring me to take a moment to think.
“I don’t think so. Not anymore at least,” I decide after a long moment. Benji pulls me back to him and kisses some place on my head.
“Not to worry, I’m totally like a knight except minus the shining armor,” he tells me and I honestly never would have pictured him as a total sap, and as much as I totally can’t stand sappy people, he makes it work. “Is that gonna be a problem?” he adds thoughtfully as an after note. I laugh lightly.
“Nah,” I shake my head. Our eyes lock and Benji presses me up against my locker placing quick, yet urgent kisses on my mouth. We both lose track of time because when the bell rings, we’re both caught way off guard. “Shit,” we swear together, kissing once more before running in opposite directions to our first block class. I’m not over joyous. I don’t feel totally safe. But I’m not scared shitless anymore either. I think I’m going to be okay.
“Joel, you’re gonna sit with us today, right?” Kris asks me during my second block AP Psych class. He’s been chatting for nearly the whole 90 minutes I have this class, copying down whatever notes end up on the bored, but for the most part just chatting quietly back and forth.
“Well, yeah if that’s where Benji is,” I answer unsure and it’s probably obvious.
“He normally always sits with us, then again so does Samara so god knows what’s going to happen. Tell you what though, I’m totally on your side of the whole feud thingy,” Kris says.
“Really?” I ask because I’m not used to anybody being on my side of anything.
“Oh fuck yeah. I’ve hated Samara for years. Ever since we hooked up at Samson’s party fuckin’ two years ago? She was with Benji at the time and blackmailed me into not telling anyone…”
“Sounds like her… but wait. Then why are you telling me this?” I sound surprised because I am. Isn’t blackmailing a big thing and didn’t he obviously just break the deal?
“First of all, if Benji trusts you, then I trust you,” he dismisses casually. “Second of all, I’m one of the only other people that knew Benji was part-gay. Samara overheard us talking about it, but opted to live in denial. Except when she threatened to tell people that Benji was gay and she heard it came from me.”
“So you went along with it…”
“Nope. Told Benij right away. Everyone found out he was ‘bi’ and it wasn’t even a big deal. Samara and him broke up for like a month after that, before she talked him back into it.” Kris shrugs.
“Should I view her as some kind of threat?” I question suddenly worried. I think Kris catches on to my state of mind as he quickly answers the questions.
“No, no. Oh Gods no. They might have just gotten back together, but their existence as a couple is solely to break up. I’m not even kidding you.”
“Okay then,” I take a deep wavering breath.
“And you know Benji’s crazy about you right? He called me, what was it, Saturday night and wouldn’t shut up about you like he was some 9th grade chick who just got asked to prom by a senior. Pure pathetic-ism in its best state. Now that’s the kind of blackmail worth lying about…” Kris jokes.
“Are you selling Benji out to me?” I raise an eyebrow. Kris laughs.
“Maybe, something like that,” he replies.
“Hey Joel. I got blackmail on you!” A goofy looking jock interrupts their conversation. My face goes red in a mixture of anger and embarrassment. I open my mouth to say something, but can’t think of anything. Thankfully the bell rings for lunch and I stand up quickly and dart out of that room as fast as I fucking can.
Benji puts his arm around my side for the millionth fucking time causing those stupid butterflies to invade my stomach. Whispers have been following me around all day, reminding me of how it used to be, but now it’s totally different because whenever I feel like it’s getting to be too much, Benji is there with a welcoming hug or a quick kiss. It’s like therapy or something, I swear.
“No, your MySpace layout if fucking awesome. With the red and the black stripy background thingy and then that spider… And then all you’re pictures are so sweet and stuff,” Benji gushes about my MySpace page. I blush furiously shaking my head.
“I personally think I’m going to change it because it makes me seem morbidly gothic or emo or something.” Benji and I both scrunch up our faces at the mention of the term “Emo.”
“You totally just said ‘emo.’” Benji informs me. Our eyes connect and then we both break out laughing, falling into each other even more if that’s possible.
“Why is this so funny?” I ask when I realize my inability to catch my breath.
“I don’t even know,” my boyfriend says then moves in to kiss my cheek. I blush and look away for a second before meeting his eyes.
“You’re so cute when your face turns red.” At this I blush even more.
“No really, you are and then your eyes sparkle when you smile. But only when you really smile.”
“Oh and you know this how?” I tease trying not to make a fool of myself and just keep turning red until my face resembles a fucking tomato or something.
“Because I like to watch you and stuff. Same way I know when you don’t want to talk about something, you talk in a deeper voice…”
I raise my eyebrows in surprise. “Okay even I didn’t know that, so if that is true you totally get like 10 points,” I tell him.
“Ten points, huh? Only ten points?” Benji crosses his arms.
“Oh fine, get your ass over here and I’ll give you a kiss.”
“I like this game, what if I said only a kiss?” Benji asks even though he’s already rubbing my cheek with his palm. I lean into the touch, his rough fingers grazing my face lightly.
“Don’t press your luck.”
Benji’s moves even closer, tilting his head slightly, yet he’s still far enough to speak without his lips touching mine.
“You’re really hot when you smirk,” he whispers right before pressing our lips together. He kisses me and it’s light and airy and when he pulls away, I raise a brow.
“You got some weird turn-ons,” I joke.
“Not my fault you’re a tease in everything you do…”
“That’s it, stopping this conversation before it-”
Benji cuts me off, kissing me again and it hits me what a nice change this is. Just about a week ago I was alone and hopeless and in such a short span of time, everything’s changed. But for the good I think… and I’ve never been happier.
“So you talked to Kris today?” asks Benji as he climbs into the Impala. I pull out of my parking space and shrug.
“Yeah…”
“You know how we saw Samara sitting with them and went outside?” Benji questions, his voice already sounding amused. I say nothing and wait for him to continue.
“Well I guess Kris took it upon himself to ‘officially’ kick her out of the group,” he laughs. “The guys literally pushed her out of her seat on the floor and her food ruined her 60 dollar bondage pants or something like that,” he continues.
Okay, this is going to come off as weird because trust me, there is nothing else I would rather do than just be able to laugh at her expense, but I am me. And my life isn’t that easy.
“Do you think you guys could lay off it just a bit?” I ask in a quiet voice. Benji’s giggles come to a stop as I pull out of the school parking lot and start to his house.
“Why? She’s a fucking bitch… after all the stuff she’s done to you,” Benji scrunches up his face not understanding me.
“Exactly…” I say. “I don’t need her riding my ass anymore than she already does. Do you think you can talk to the guys and make them stop?” I ask. Honestly, just because she’s been kicked out of their little group doesn’t mean she still can’t make my life living hell. That stupid jock in AP Phsyc reminded me of that. She has power… she can convince people to do anything she wants them to.
“Joel, there’s nothing she can do…” he glances over at me and takes in my serious face.
“If you want me to, I will. And I’ll tell them,” he says slowly reaching for my free hand that’s resting on the arm rest. He squeezes it and pulls it onto his lap leaving it there. I squeeze his thigh and watch the small smile creep up into his face.
“For only going out for what? 2 days? I feel like I’d already do anything for you Joel…”
I smile at this and pull into his driveway. He has band practice or something like that… “You wanna come with me?” he offers. I frown and shrug.
“Nah, I can’t. I got stuff to do and Josh is leaving soon,” I tell him. He nods his head then leans into me for a kiss. He pecks my lips quickly.
“I’m not gonna really kiss you because then I won’t be able to let you leave,” he explains quickly at seeing my confused face. “I’ll call you later or tonight,” he says opens the door and starts turning away.
“Okay, later Benji…”
“Bye Joel.”
I get home and Josh is outside packing up mom’s car. “What’s going on? Are you leaving already?” I ask curious and already disappointed. Josh sighs and shakes his head probably noticing how I strategically blocked him in. Yeah, try to leave now bitch. I cross my arms and pout.
“You should just quit school and come back home,” I complain feeling like a pathetic 5 year old, but I love my brother and so what if I get sad when he leaves. There’s nothing wrong with that… really. Okay well maybe kinda.
“Yeah, I gotta go Joel…” Josh sighs and pulls me into a one armed hug. “My girl, back at school… her mom just died so I wanna head that way and be there for her,” he explains.
“Aw, I love Nina. That’s so sad,” I say and Josh nods.
“Yeah, Nina’s not taking it so well and her friends called me concerned, saying I should head back early. I’d love to stay longer but-”
“Don’t worry about it Josh, I totally understand,” I smile at him quickly trying to ease his guilt.
“And it’s not like I’m all you got anyways. You and Benji seem to have gotten pretty friendly if I do recall,” Josh smirks and I blush deep and crimson.
“Something like that,” I say quietly. “So who is bringing you to the airport?” Josh smiles at me.
“Well I was hoping you would, kid? Spend the last bit of time together?” he hints and I know he feels bad about leaving early and it’s not like I had any other plans.
“I’d love to bring you, but one thing… we’re so taking my car,” I tell him. His smile gets even wider.
“You know, you say that like driving an orgasmic ’67 Chevy Impala is such an inconvenience,” he jokes. I laugh loudly.
“Well that’s what happens when mommy spoils you the best,” I smile.
“Oh shut up,” Josh juts and pushes me. “Go tell mom you’re taking me and I’ll pack up your car.”
“Deal,” I agree and head towards the house. When I turn around I hear him mutter something sounding vaguely like, “He really is a spoiled brat,” and it makes me chuckle.
I get home around 9:30 after waiting with Josh at the airport for a couple of hours. We talked about everything, me narrowly avoiding the subject of Benji every two minutes or so and Josh determined to get the story out of me. I ended up telling him a little bit. That we are going out and I think he really likes me. Josh smiled his ever happy smile and I’m pretty sure he was even teary eyed when he had to leave to go to the gate… Especially since I couldn’t even go with him. He’s do to call the house in about an hour or so and tell us he landed and everything’s okay.
Currently I’m on my laptop, sitting on the floor against my bed simply because my back hurts so much from all the positions I use on the bed. Shit, that sounds kind of wrong. I immediately go to check my mail and what the fuck is this? The majority of my inbox is filled with me getting messages from MySpace. Okay?
I click open a tab and address it to “myspace.com” waiting patiently for the page to load. Once it does, I click in the ‘inbox’ section and nearly choke on air.
RE:Skank Breath, reads the first message and the picture tells me its from my friend Lily that lives in London. When I click on the message it reads:
Hey Joel, um. I think someone broke into your account because you sent me the message below and it doesn’t sound like you all. Just thought I’d let you know.
<33Lily!
Ps… You may want to delete those bulletins as well…
What the fuck?
I go through the rest of my mail quickly. All of them are replies to evil messages I sent them or bulletins where I just repeat the word “CUNT” over and over. In one of the bulletins ‘I’ bashed gay people and seeing as half the people that originally added me are gay, they’re now replying calling me a bastard and hoping that someone castrates me… I… I don’t even know what the fuck to do. I follow Lily’s advice and delete all bulletins I put up today, then proceed to change my password. This is fucked up. Next I decide to post a new bulletin that informs everyone that my MySpace account has been broken into and that I apologize for any hurtful things that have been said. I delete any nasty comments people left me and pretty much try to restore order to my profile. I notice whoever broke in, is still on because my sent messages just keep on increasing and it seems like my inbox is never going to be empty. That’s when my phone rings.
“Hello?” I ask into the receiver forgetting to check who it is. My voice sounds uneasy even to myself.
“Joel, what’s going on?” Benji demands, his voice harsh and it scares me.
“I.. um. What?” I try because I don’t know. I feel violated. Someone broke into my MySpace and is trying to fuck everything up. And Benji is call me pissed off all of a sudden?
“You just sent me a message on MySpace breaking up with me… what about that?”
“What, really?” I ask because I would have noticed if I did that and I just went through all my inbox.
“Yeah, about two seconds ago?” Benji says in a tone that means, ‘You should fucking know…’
“Someone else is on my account fucking shit up,” I grumble and I begin to feel frustrated and boxed in. It’s hard to explain.
“I figured, I just. I just wasn’t sure… do you know who?” Benji asks me. His tone totally changes from pissed off to concerned in record time that lets me know he was only acting pissed of to protect himself if it really was me.
Giving up I let my laptop slam shut and I place it on the ground. “No,” I pout defeated. Benji must be able to hear it in my voice.
“Aw, Joel,” he coos and then sighs seriously. “I think I know who did it.” That’s when it clicks in my head.
“That selfish fucking bitch,” I scream standing up abruptly and going to look out my window. If looks could kill, her house would have just been taken out by an A-bomb.
“Yep, that sounds just like something she would do,” Benji says and I hear the anger growing in his voice too.
“See, I told you! She just can’t leave me alone. She just won’t.” I fall back on my bed and close my eyes hating god right now for creating Samara fucking Grace.
“But you have to get her back now,” Benji informs me.
“Uh, no I don’t,” I say sitting up and opening my eyes. “Don’t you get it Benji, she can make my life a living hell. That’s what she does. All I can do is hope that you and your friends will just leave her alone and then maybe she’ll stop doing this shit to me. Okay?” God, I’m just so fed up with this shit. It’s my senior year and things are finally starting to go my way and Samara can just can’t fucking let me be. As if what she did in the past doesn’t haunt me enough.
My eyes are nearly on the verge or watering as Benji tells me that he won’t do anything to her as long as I ask him not too. It has nothing to do with him, just at this nag that no matter what I do, I know she won’t leave me alone. This isn’t the end of her or anything of the type. I’m beginning to regret ever knowing Benji at all and that kills me. That makes me want to cry. The fact that the one person besides my family who’s actually taken the chance to get to know me, I have to hate. I should hate. But I can’t hate.
“Joel?” Benji’s concerned tone alarms me.
“What?” I croak noticing how weak I sound. Noticing that I already am shedding tears.
“Is there… Joel I’m coming over okay?”
“Why?” I ask, suddenly sounding pissed.
“Because, I don’t want you to do anything and I want to be there for you,” he explains.
I sniff. “What do you think I’m going to do? Run over there and kick her ass. The chick has knife collection under her bed. I’m not that dumb…”
The sounds of Benji’s laughter fills the air and I think about what I just said, letting a smile reacquaint itself with my face after a long time of frowning and tight lips. The smile seems foreign, yet I welcome it the best I can.
“Joel please let me come over?” Benji pleads though the whole conversation has turned in tone.
“Yeah,” I decide with a thoughtful shake of the head- even though he can see me.
Yeah.
Benji comes over and the first thing he does is whip out about an eight of weed and roll a blunt. Then we sit around joking about things we could do to sabotage Samara, passing the blunt between us thoughtlessly as the conversation grows. We talk about throwing rocks through her window, hopefully hitting her head or maybe setting fire to her locker. Just totally hanus idea’s that we’d never actually consider, but are way to fun to let our minds entertain. We talk and it just goes on so easy, the conversation flowing quite carelessly. The topics start changing so fast as we keep our mouths moving to the point where anyone that walked into the room would more than likely be ignored without much thought. We started with Samara, then went into a debate on whether or not our school has ‘cliques.’ Somehow that led us into movies that are based on high school, where they get out of school at 3 PM and how weird that would be. Our school lets out at 2:14…
Somehow, after all that, we started making out on my bed like it’s the end of the world, arms wrapped tightly around each other and hands groping for skin. I absolutely love the way his body feels wrapped around me and his soft, slightly callused fingertips work godly magic, ghosting over my skin, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind. I can’t contain the small noises that escape and frankly, I don’t give a fuck how I sound.
Benji’s above me, swiveling his head. His tongue brushes up against mine before he pulls away, pecks my lips and starts kissing a trail down my jaw to my neck. I moan at the feel of his rough, saliva slick, tongue on my skin and stretch my neck out to give him more room. He sucks and nibbles on whatever, spending an extra second or two to get acquainted with my collarbone before pulling away. He’s on his hands and knees, hovering over me with pure lust in his eyes and I can’t fucking look away. Not for the life of me.
He straddles my mid-section and grinds down on me, holding his body so his torso is above me. I let out an unexpected yelp and use a hand to latch on to one of his biceps, fighting to keep my eyes open to look into his. I thought making out with Benji was fun, but this totally beats that like… tenfold times a thousand plus two-million and eighty-six.
He’s hard. I can feel the outline of his erection through his jeans, and I’m sure he can feel mine. We’re both breathing heavily, trying to control ourselves and actions but it’s not working out so well. When I feel his fingers fumbling with my button and zipper, I freeze. And then he freezes. Then he’s lifting himself off of me, but stays straddling my thighs.
“This okay?” he whispers. I can tell he’s trying to convey to me that if I say ‘no,’ he’ll stop. I shake any flashbacks, any past experiences out of my head and just breathe.
“Definitely,” I nod my head, pulling his face back to mine by gripping his shirt and kissing his lips deeply, barely convincing myself, but hopefully convincing him. He groans into the kiss and goes back to getting my pants undone. Even if we haven’t dealt with… the past it shouldn’t get in the way of now. We didn’t really know each other then and I’m just going to stop thinking about it before I mentally eat myself alive.
In seconds we’re shirtless with jeans halfway undone. Benji works mine down my thighs a bit before helplessly giving up. The air around us is hot and I can feel the butterflies in my stomach come to life as his fingers trail over the newly revealed skin. A breathy moan surpasses my lips as I throw in the towel and allow all inhibitions to leave me right now. I have nothing to be worried about. I have a great body and I know he’s into me. Hell, I can feel just how much he’s into me. And it’s not like I’m ill equipped. A little less than 9 inches and not even out of high school. I think that constitutes bragging rights… if I was straight and chasing after pussy.
For some reason, jocks don’t wanna hear about how big the gay kid’s dick is. Not that I can imagine why. Actually, I do know why. Because they don’t wanna know that they’re inadequate to the faggot.
When I feel Benji grab my erection after he sneaks his hand under the waistband of my boxers, the noise I make is completely embarrassing and makes me want to climb under a rock. But the only person that’s ever touched my dick besides me was Samara back in middle school which really doesn’t count considering she never did anything with it… and my doctor making me cough while she holds it. So the sensation of Benji’s warm fingers grasping on to it from the base and pull up is mildly overwhelming to say the least, but at the same time I can’t get over how fucking amazing it feels.
“God, Benj,” I pant loudly looking up at him and feeling my balls tighten as he squeezes my dick a little more. His thumb runs over the dribbling tip so he uses my pre-come to make it easier for his hand to move along my length… Suddenly his hand stops moving and just sits there on my dick. I make a small noise of protest somehow finding the strength to lean my weight on my elbows.
“What’re you-“
I’m cut off by the familiar sensation of his lips pressing against mine, his tongue entering my mouth with ease, as I’d never deny him a kiss. Not Benji. Not my totally gorgeous boyfriend.
When he pulls away, his eyes find mine and he stares at me for a long moment, almost as if he’s searching for something. The air between us becomes thick. It’s hard to breathe…
“What?” I ask in a blunt manner.
“You…” he answers breathily. He pecks my lips once more. “Are so fucking… y’know, perfect doesn’t even begin to describe it…”
I look away from him and blush still not accustomed to the term, ‘compliments.’
“No, look at me,” Benji pleads tenderly pushing his index finger under my chin until my eyes are once again level with his. “Don’t sell yourself short, you’re beautiful…” he whispers. He kisses me again and then places a hand on my chest, forcing me to lie down again on the bed. My brain is still trying to process his words, let alone keeping up with everything he’s doing to me. He’s still straddling me so I decide to put my hands on his thighs, my thumbs running over the fabric of his jeans. I can feel his boner and I want to do something about it, really I do. But then his hand is back on me, moving so slow that my mind runs blank and all I can manage to do or say is breathe and make these soft little noises. His hand is moving so slow along my shaft and-
“Shit, Benj,” I whine with my eyes squeezed shut. He’s barely moving with barely any grip. But at first he ignores my pleas, possibly enjoying putting me through this torture… torture.
My head involuntarily jerks. Don’t think about it… I scold myself. Luckily, Benji finally begins jerk me hard and fast. I quietly beg him for more, harder… I can literally feel the orgasm build inside of me and sure, I’ve jerked myself off plenty of times, but never has it been so hot… so intense. After what seems to me like six trillion hours, the pressure down below becomes so unbearable I can’t think of anything else. I know I’m moaning and probably saying things under normal circumstances I might not… but it obviously doesn’t bother Benji as I notice him starting to fumble with his jeans, opening them and taking his aching cock out so he can jerk us both off. Just the site of his dick sends a new wave of pleasure and pressure. If I thought I was on the edge of a cliff before, I’m fucking at the point of no return now. My eyes close as my mind fights to stay in the moment… stay in the now, but all the sensations and the fact that this is Benji… and he’s… oh God!
“I’m coming!” I groan from deep within my throat. My neck and back constrict to the point where they lift off the bed. I force my eyes open just in time to see Benji’s hand coated in my cum and I watch as he finishes himself off. When he comes he screams out my name and falls next to my body. Neither of us have the energy to talk; we just lay on my bed, at first panting… then just breathing gently.
After a couple of long moments I finally regain enough mental capacity to fix my boxers and pull my pants up. I get off the bed and find my shirt, putting that on before grabbing Benji’s as well. I throw it at him and it lands next to his body on the bed, but he doesn’t move an inch. I smirk at him before grabbing a discarded towel on the floor.
“You want a towel, man?” I ask him. He opens an eye and stares at me before slowly nodding. He sits up, his legs dangling over the side of the bed, facing me, but he’s not looking at me. I hand the towel to him and he cleans himself off, mostly my cum on his hand and then he tries to get his mess off the comforter of my bed.
“Benji, what are you doing?”
“Uh-“
From standing where I am, I can actually see him blush even though he’s looking down. His cheeks build to crimson and I fight the urge to do something embarrassing like scream “Aw!” and give him a hug.
“I do my own laundry Benji, I am a big boy,” I tell him, walking towards the bed with a smirk.
If it’s possible, he blushes even more.
“Oh,” is all he can think to say and I’ve never seen him like this, all shy and timid.
“Benji, is something wrong?” I ask him sitting down on the side of the bed so I face him while he stays sitting at a ninety degree angle to my body. He looks so vulnerable in that moment, shirtless, pale, with reddened cheeks. “Benj?” I question again as he stays silent.
“Was I… Was I okay?” he asks, more or less mumbling and looking down at his hands. My eyes widen with confusion. Was he okay? He was fucking amazing.
“The last guy I was with… he um, well let’s just say he made me feel inadequate to say the least…” Benji explains and I can not only hear, but feel the hurt emanating from his body as he emotes to me. It almost makes me want to cry. My mind travels back to the guys I saw him with at dad’s diner.
“Benji,” I seize one of his hands, stopping the jerky movement he’d been watching them perform. “Look at me,” I demand. He does.
“You were,” I shake my head unable to come up with an intelligent way to put my feelings. “Amazing. That was the best thing that ever happened to me, I swear to god, I kid you not…” He kisses me then, and it’s rough, full of want and need. He kisses me until he’s satisfied and then he rests his forehead against mine and we both open our eyes at nearly, if not the same time.
His eyes on me. My eyes on him.
I swear to God it’s like nobody else fucking exists.
Wow... Never thought the day would come where I had to do this...
Part Two
Author: Um. Me. x-tired-crazy-x
Summary: AU (not related. SRY) Joel crushes on Benji… in epic proportions. The story takes place during their senior year of high school. I know… I’m so creative. Anyways, the whole world is… Wait, no, better than that, the entire universe is working against him. Can they even manage to get together or will evil scheming bitches keep them apart? Who knows? You gotta read it. It’s like a mystery.
Disclaimer: Not real. Never happened. Kind of impossible.
Last Minute Notes: This story is mildly complete. Right now, its over 50 pages. And I’m on the last part. I just felt like getting it up. (Posting it that is.)
Joel Has This Crush...:: Best Birthday Present Ever... Duh
Fucking Bitch is What the Girl Is
I’m nervous as fuck about stepping outside of my car, but I know I have to. I just… I’m scared. Yesterday, Josh dedicated to me and him and we spent the majority of the day wandering around town doing what brothers do. When I recommended that we go see a movie, I think Josh nearly shit his pants. As usual we ended up at the restaurant for something to eat. Benji and his friends just so happened to be there and Benji immediately pulled me over and introduced me to all his friends, telling me their names even though I already knew them. I still won’t forget the goofy grin on his face when he told them I was his boyfriend. The two girls sitting in the middle of the corner booth giggled and two of Benji’s other guy friend, Daniel and Kris clapped me on the back in congratulations. When I told Benji I was supposed to be spending the day with Josh, his eyes popped wide open and he returned me apologetically to my brother. “See you in school?” Benji asked.
“Of course,” I replied happy with how easy it was getting when it came to forming coherent sentences.
“Good.” Benji moved in and placed a chaste kiss on my cheek. As he walked away I blushed and Josh found it necessary to tease me for the rest of the day, but deep down I know how seriously happy he is for me.
Still, none of that can make the idea of facing the student body any easier. I know that people know about Benji and I. Hell, I checked my mail last night around ten o’clock and I was being overrun by Facebook and Myspace notifications. I happened to be on the phone with Benji when my jaw dropped and a breathy “Holy fuck,” left my lips.
Slowly, I take the keys out of the ignition and shove them in my jacket pocket. I open the door to the Impala and climb out, slamming the door pointlessly behind me. Um, I’m blaming that on the nerves. But why am I nervous?
Because you’re not invisible Joel! Not anymore… a little voice deems itself witty enough to answer the rhetorical question. Damn fucking head.
I lean against my car and center myself. Everything’s going to be okay… I just have to believe that. Trust me, that’s easier said then fucking done.
I finally manage to begin the short trek to the front lobby of the high school. When I open one of the doors it seems like everything is normal. Girls are running across the way laughing and pulling at each other. The hardcore stoner kids barely have their eyes open and oh yeah, as I walk by them, they reek.
There are the ghetto kids hanging around in their exclusive pack and the kids who are too poor to be gothic so instead insist on doing everything they can to be recognized as freaks. Hey, whatever suits your soul I suppose? Emo freshmen pass me on the stairs as I follow the route to my locker. One of them is wearing those strappy bondage boots and a plaid skirt, I think in an attempt to be ‘hardcore.’ She smiles at me, I smile back. Yet still, nothing overtly out of the ordinary has taken place. Maybe people adding me was just like some weird coincidence.
Once I make it to my locker I take a deep breath in and let it out. I turn the dial to the three numbers that make up my locker combo and open it up. I have nothing to put inside of it, only a binder for English class to take out.
“Hey you,” Benji whispers as a hand of his snakes down and around to my stomach while he stands behind me.
“Hey yourself,” I greet him, smiling already. My body initially tenses up at the touch, but I allow myself to relax and will away the uneasiness I feel about being in school. This is all I ever wanted, but having it is totally different then just dreaming about it. And in dreams there are a lot of things that you don’t have to worry about.
I turn myself around, my books held by my side so Benji is still pressed against my body. I can feel eyes on us and I don’t know. It makes me feel self-conscious.
“It’s fucking true then.”
Harsh words puncture the air around us as the one and only Samara seemingly parts the crowd with her anger and bitchiness. This was my exact fear. I knew she’d have something to say. Her black hair is held back in a pony tail so her facial expressions are easy to catch up on. She’s wearing nice fitting jeans, a studded belt with a purple shirt that has the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland on it. Over that is a dark green jacket with a furry hood.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she says loudly catching the attention of probably everyone in this hallway and then some more extras after that.
“What?” Benji spits just as nasty, pulling away from me a bit, but still staying close.
“You and that- you’re with… him,” she makes up some crude hand gesture with pretty much emphasizes the fact she’s disgusted in me. Oh- what-fucking-ever.
“He probably has AIDS or herpes or fucking gonorrhea. He’s fucking gay Benj, you’re not gay. You don’t take it up the ass,” Samara yells getting more upset and crazed as the seconds tic by. As crazy as she gets, I grow with anger at her words.
“Samara, do me a favor and stop spreading lies. Stop telling stupid rumors. Stop planning fucking pranks on the poor kid. Don’t you think you’ve done enough? You can’t win this time, okay? I’m not going to let you.”
Benji’s words come out strong and commanding like he’s planned out what he was going to say and practiced it in the mirror a few times to see which combination of movements would make him seem more menacing.
Samara is shaking her head. “I’m not done with you Benji. And you aren’t done with me. You love me, don’t you forget that.” Samara disappears almost as fast as she appeared. All the kids that were watching resume whatever it was that they were doing; most of them not really giving a shit at all about what is going on between me and my boyfriend. Yes, I know I could have just said Benji right there, but I’m still practicing trying out the title in my head.
Benji’s arms are suddenly around me as he pulls me into a tight hug. He rubs my back but then I pull back first and for some reason smiling.
“That was awkward,” I shake my head.
“Y’think?”
“No, I know awkward pretty damn well, and let me tell you, that,” I motion to where Samara just was. “Was fucking awkward.
“Are you afraid of her?” Benji asks suddenly and it catches me off guard requiring me to take a moment to think.
“I don’t think so. Not anymore at least,” I decide after a long moment. Benji pulls me back to him and kisses some place on my head.
“Not to worry, I’m totally like a knight except minus the shining armor,” he tells me and I honestly never would have pictured him as a total sap, and as much as I totally can’t stand sappy people, he makes it work. “Is that gonna be a problem?” he adds thoughtfully as an after note. I laugh lightly.
“Nah,” I shake my head. Our eyes lock and Benji presses me up against my locker placing quick, yet urgent kisses on my mouth. We both lose track of time because when the bell rings, we’re both caught way off guard. “Shit,” we swear together, kissing once more before running in opposite directions to our first block class. I’m not over joyous. I don’t feel totally safe. But I’m not scared shitless anymore either. I think I’m going to be okay.
“Joel, you’re gonna sit with us today, right?” Kris asks me during my second block AP Psych class. He’s been chatting for nearly the whole 90 minutes I have this class, copying down whatever notes end up on the bored, but for the most part just chatting quietly back and forth.
“Well, yeah if that’s where Benji is,” I answer unsure and it’s probably obvious.
“He normally always sits with us, then again so does Samara so god knows what’s going to happen. Tell you what though, I’m totally on your side of the whole feud thingy,” Kris says.
“Really?” I ask because I’m not used to anybody being on my side of anything.
“Oh fuck yeah. I’ve hated Samara for years. Ever since we hooked up at Samson’s party fuckin’ two years ago? She was with Benji at the time and blackmailed me into not telling anyone…”
“Sounds like her… but wait. Then why are you telling me this?” I sound surprised because I am. Isn’t blackmailing a big thing and didn’t he obviously just break the deal?
“First of all, if Benji trusts you, then I trust you,” he dismisses casually. “Second of all, I’m one of the only other people that knew Benji was part-gay. Samara overheard us talking about it, but opted to live in denial. Except when she threatened to tell people that Benji was gay and she heard it came from me.”
“So you went along with it…”
“Nope. Told Benij right away. Everyone found out he was ‘bi’ and it wasn’t even a big deal. Samara and him broke up for like a month after that, before she talked him back into it.” Kris shrugs.
“Should I view her as some kind of threat?” I question suddenly worried. I think Kris catches on to my state of mind as he quickly answers the questions.
“No, no. Oh Gods no. They might have just gotten back together, but their existence as a couple is solely to break up. I’m not even kidding you.”
“Okay then,” I take a deep wavering breath.
“And you know Benji’s crazy about you right? He called me, what was it, Saturday night and wouldn’t shut up about you like he was some 9th grade chick who just got asked to prom by a senior. Pure pathetic-ism in its best state. Now that’s the kind of blackmail worth lying about…” Kris jokes.
“Are you selling Benji out to me?” I raise an eyebrow. Kris laughs.
“Maybe, something like that,” he replies.
“Hey Joel. I got blackmail on you!” A goofy looking jock interrupts their conversation. My face goes red in a mixture of anger and embarrassment. I open my mouth to say something, but can’t think of anything. Thankfully the bell rings for lunch and I stand up quickly and dart out of that room as fast as I fucking can.
Benji puts his arm around my side for the millionth fucking time causing those stupid butterflies to invade my stomach. Whispers have been following me around all day, reminding me of how it used to be, but now it’s totally different because whenever I feel like it’s getting to be too much, Benji is there with a welcoming hug or a quick kiss. It’s like therapy or something, I swear.
“No, your MySpace layout if fucking awesome. With the red and the black stripy background thingy and then that spider… And then all you’re pictures are so sweet and stuff,” Benji gushes about my MySpace page. I blush furiously shaking my head.
“I personally think I’m going to change it because it makes me seem morbidly gothic or emo or something.” Benji and I both scrunch up our faces at the mention of the term “Emo.”
“You totally just said ‘emo.’” Benji informs me. Our eyes connect and then we both break out laughing, falling into each other even more if that’s possible.
“Why is this so funny?” I ask when I realize my inability to catch my breath.
“I don’t even know,” my boyfriend says then moves in to kiss my cheek. I blush and look away for a second before meeting his eyes.
“You’re so cute when your face turns red.” At this I blush even more.
“No really, you are and then your eyes sparkle when you smile. But only when you really smile.”
“Oh and you know this how?” I tease trying not to make a fool of myself and just keep turning red until my face resembles a fucking tomato or something.
“Because I like to watch you and stuff. Same way I know when you don’t want to talk about something, you talk in a deeper voice…”
I raise my eyebrows in surprise. “Okay even I didn’t know that, so if that is true you totally get like 10 points,” I tell him.
“Ten points, huh? Only ten points?” Benji crosses his arms.
“Oh fine, get your ass over here and I’ll give you a kiss.”
“I like this game, what if I said only a kiss?” Benji asks even though he’s already rubbing my cheek with his palm. I lean into the touch, his rough fingers grazing my face lightly.
“Don’t press your luck.”
Benji’s moves even closer, tilting his head slightly, yet he’s still far enough to speak without his lips touching mine.
“You’re really hot when you smirk,” he whispers right before pressing our lips together. He kisses me and it’s light and airy and when he pulls away, I raise a brow.
“You got some weird turn-ons,” I joke.
“Not my fault you’re a tease in everything you do…”
“That’s it, stopping this conversation before it-”
Benji cuts me off, kissing me again and it hits me what a nice change this is. Just about a week ago I was alone and hopeless and in such a short span of time, everything’s changed. But for the good I think… and I’ve never been happier.
“So you talked to Kris today?” asks Benji as he climbs into the Impala. I pull out of my parking space and shrug.
“Yeah…”
“You know how we saw Samara sitting with them and went outside?” Benji questions, his voice already sounding amused. I say nothing and wait for him to continue.
“Well I guess Kris took it upon himself to ‘officially’ kick her out of the group,” he laughs. “The guys literally pushed her out of her seat on the floor and her food ruined her 60 dollar bondage pants or something like that,” he continues.
Okay, this is going to come off as weird because trust me, there is nothing else I would rather do than just be able to laugh at her expense, but I am me. And my life isn’t that easy.
“Do you think you guys could lay off it just a bit?” I ask in a quiet voice. Benji’s giggles come to a stop as I pull out of the school parking lot and start to his house.
“Why? She’s a fucking bitch… after all the stuff she’s done to you,” Benji scrunches up his face not understanding me.
“Exactly…” I say. “I don’t need her riding my ass anymore than she already does. Do you think you can talk to the guys and make them stop?” I ask. Honestly, just because she’s been kicked out of their little group doesn’t mean she still can’t make my life living hell. That stupid jock in AP Phsyc reminded me of that. She has power… she can convince people to do anything she wants them to.
“Joel, there’s nothing she can do…” he glances over at me and takes in my serious face.
“If you want me to, I will. And I’ll tell them,” he says slowly reaching for my free hand that’s resting on the arm rest. He squeezes it and pulls it onto his lap leaving it there. I squeeze his thigh and watch the small smile creep up into his face.
“For only going out for what? 2 days? I feel like I’d already do anything for you Joel…”
I smile at this and pull into his driveway. He has band practice or something like that… “You wanna come with me?” he offers. I frown and shrug.
“Nah, I can’t. I got stuff to do and Josh is leaving soon,” I tell him. He nods his head then leans into me for a kiss. He pecks my lips quickly.
“I’m not gonna really kiss you because then I won’t be able to let you leave,” he explains quickly at seeing my confused face. “I’ll call you later or tonight,” he says opens the door and starts turning away.
“Okay, later Benji…”
“Bye Joel.”
I get home and Josh is outside packing up mom’s car. “What’s going on? Are you leaving already?” I ask curious and already disappointed. Josh sighs and shakes his head probably noticing how I strategically blocked him in. Yeah, try to leave now bitch. I cross my arms and pout.
“You should just quit school and come back home,” I complain feeling like a pathetic 5 year old, but I love my brother and so what if I get sad when he leaves. There’s nothing wrong with that… really. Okay well maybe kinda.
“Yeah, I gotta go Joel…” Josh sighs and pulls me into a one armed hug. “My girl, back at school… her mom just died so I wanna head that way and be there for her,” he explains.
“Aw, I love Nina. That’s so sad,” I say and Josh nods.
“Yeah, Nina’s not taking it so well and her friends called me concerned, saying I should head back early. I’d love to stay longer but-”
“Don’t worry about it Josh, I totally understand,” I smile at him quickly trying to ease his guilt.
“And it’s not like I’m all you got anyways. You and Benji seem to have gotten pretty friendly if I do recall,” Josh smirks and I blush deep and crimson.
“Something like that,” I say quietly. “So who is bringing you to the airport?” Josh smiles at me.
“Well I was hoping you would, kid? Spend the last bit of time together?” he hints and I know he feels bad about leaving early and it’s not like I had any other plans.
“I’d love to bring you, but one thing… we’re so taking my car,” I tell him. His smile gets even wider.
“You know, you say that like driving an orgasmic ’67 Chevy Impala is such an inconvenience,” he jokes. I laugh loudly.
“Well that’s what happens when mommy spoils you the best,” I smile.
“Oh shut up,” Josh juts and pushes me. “Go tell mom you’re taking me and I’ll pack up your car.”
“Deal,” I agree and head towards the house. When I turn around I hear him mutter something sounding vaguely like, “He really is a spoiled brat,” and it makes me chuckle.
I get home around 9:30 after waiting with Josh at the airport for a couple of hours. We talked about everything, me narrowly avoiding the subject of Benji every two minutes or so and Josh determined to get the story out of me. I ended up telling him a little bit. That we are going out and I think he really likes me. Josh smiled his ever happy smile and I’m pretty sure he was even teary eyed when he had to leave to go to the gate… Especially since I couldn’t even go with him. He’s do to call the house in about an hour or so and tell us he landed and everything’s okay.
Currently I’m on my laptop, sitting on the floor against my bed simply because my back hurts so much from all the positions I use on the bed. Shit, that sounds kind of wrong. I immediately go to check my mail and what the fuck is this? The majority of my inbox is filled with me getting messages from MySpace. Okay?
I click open a tab and address it to “myspace.com” waiting patiently for the page to load. Once it does, I click in the ‘inbox’ section and nearly choke on air.
RE:Skank Breath, reads the first message and the picture tells me its from my friend Lily that lives in London. When I click on the message it reads:
Hey Joel, um. I think someone broke into your account because you sent me the message below and it doesn’t sound like you all. Just thought I’d let you know.
<33Lily!
Ps… You may want to delete those bulletins as well…
What the fuck?
I go through the rest of my mail quickly. All of them are replies to evil messages I sent them or bulletins where I just repeat the word “CUNT” over and over. In one of the bulletins ‘I’ bashed gay people and seeing as half the people that originally added me are gay, they’re now replying calling me a bastard and hoping that someone castrates me… I… I don’t even know what the fuck to do. I follow Lily’s advice and delete all bulletins I put up today, then proceed to change my password. This is fucked up. Next I decide to post a new bulletin that informs everyone that my MySpace account has been broken into and that I apologize for any hurtful things that have been said. I delete any nasty comments people left me and pretty much try to restore order to my profile. I notice whoever broke in, is still on because my sent messages just keep on increasing and it seems like my inbox is never going to be empty. That’s when my phone rings.
“Hello?” I ask into the receiver forgetting to check who it is. My voice sounds uneasy even to myself.
“Joel, what’s going on?” Benji demands, his voice harsh and it scares me.
“I.. um. What?” I try because I don’t know. I feel violated. Someone broke into my MySpace and is trying to fuck everything up. And Benji is call me pissed off all of a sudden?
“You just sent me a message on MySpace breaking up with me… what about that?”
“What, really?” I ask because I would have noticed if I did that and I just went through all my inbox.
“Yeah, about two seconds ago?” Benji says in a tone that means, ‘You should fucking know…’
“Someone else is on my account fucking shit up,” I grumble and I begin to feel frustrated and boxed in. It’s hard to explain.
“I figured, I just. I just wasn’t sure… do you know who?” Benji asks me. His tone totally changes from pissed off to concerned in record time that lets me know he was only acting pissed of to protect himself if it really was me.
Giving up I let my laptop slam shut and I place it on the ground. “No,” I pout defeated. Benji must be able to hear it in my voice.
“Aw, Joel,” he coos and then sighs seriously. “I think I know who did it.” That’s when it clicks in my head.
“That selfish fucking bitch,” I scream standing up abruptly and going to look out my window. If looks could kill, her house would have just been taken out by an A-bomb.
“Yep, that sounds just like something she would do,” Benji says and I hear the anger growing in his voice too.
“See, I told you! She just can’t leave me alone. She just won’t.” I fall back on my bed and close my eyes hating god right now for creating Samara fucking Grace.
“But you have to get her back now,” Benji informs me.
“Uh, no I don’t,” I say sitting up and opening my eyes. “Don’t you get it Benji, she can make my life a living hell. That’s what she does. All I can do is hope that you and your friends will just leave her alone and then maybe she’ll stop doing this shit to me. Okay?” God, I’m just so fed up with this shit. It’s my senior year and things are finally starting to go my way and Samara can just can’t fucking let me be. As if what she did in the past doesn’t haunt me enough.
My eyes are nearly on the verge or watering as Benji tells me that he won’t do anything to her as long as I ask him not too. It has nothing to do with him, just at this nag that no matter what I do, I know she won’t leave me alone. This isn’t the end of her or anything of the type. I’m beginning to regret ever knowing Benji at all and that kills me. That makes me want to cry. The fact that the one person besides my family who’s actually taken the chance to get to know me, I have to hate. I should hate. But I can’t hate.
“Joel?” Benji’s concerned tone alarms me.
“What?” I croak noticing how weak I sound. Noticing that I already am shedding tears.
“Is there… Joel I’m coming over okay?”
“Why?” I ask, suddenly sounding pissed.
“Because, I don’t want you to do anything and I want to be there for you,” he explains.
I sniff. “What do you think I’m going to do? Run over there and kick her ass. The chick has knife collection under her bed. I’m not that dumb…”
The sounds of Benji’s laughter fills the air and I think about what I just said, letting a smile reacquaint itself with my face after a long time of frowning and tight lips. The smile seems foreign, yet I welcome it the best I can.
“Joel please let me come over?” Benji pleads though the whole conversation has turned in tone.
“Yeah,” I decide with a thoughtful shake of the head- even though he can see me.
Yeah.
Benji comes over and the first thing he does is whip out about an eight of weed and roll a blunt. Then we sit around joking about things we could do to sabotage Samara, passing the blunt between us thoughtlessly as the conversation grows. We talk about throwing rocks through her window, hopefully hitting her head or maybe setting fire to her locker. Just totally hanus idea’s that we’d never actually consider, but are way to fun to let our minds entertain. We talk and it just goes on so easy, the conversation flowing quite carelessly. The topics start changing so fast as we keep our mouths moving to the point where anyone that walked into the room would more than likely be ignored without much thought. We started with Samara, then went into a debate on whether or not our school has ‘cliques.’ Somehow that led us into movies that are based on high school, where they get out of school at 3 PM and how weird that would be. Our school lets out at 2:14…
Somehow, after all that, we started making out on my bed like it’s the end of the world, arms wrapped tightly around each other and hands groping for skin. I absolutely love the way his body feels wrapped around me and his soft, slightly callused fingertips work godly magic, ghosting over my skin, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind. I can’t contain the small noises that escape and frankly, I don’t give a fuck how I sound.
Benji’s above me, swiveling his head. His tongue brushes up against mine before he pulls away, pecks my lips and starts kissing a trail down my jaw to my neck. I moan at the feel of his rough, saliva slick, tongue on my skin and stretch my neck out to give him more room. He sucks and nibbles on whatever, spending an extra second or two to get acquainted with my collarbone before pulling away. He’s on his hands and knees, hovering over me with pure lust in his eyes and I can’t fucking look away. Not for the life of me.
He straddles my mid-section and grinds down on me, holding his body so his torso is above me. I let out an unexpected yelp and use a hand to latch on to one of his biceps, fighting to keep my eyes open to look into his. I thought making out with Benji was fun, but this totally beats that like… tenfold times a thousand plus two-million and eighty-six.
He’s hard. I can feel the outline of his erection through his jeans, and I’m sure he can feel mine. We’re both breathing heavily, trying to control ourselves and actions but it’s not working out so well. When I feel his fingers fumbling with my button and zipper, I freeze. And then he freezes. Then he’s lifting himself off of me, but stays straddling my thighs.
“This okay?” he whispers. I can tell he’s trying to convey to me that if I say ‘no,’ he’ll stop. I shake any flashbacks, any past experiences out of my head and just breathe.
“Definitely,” I nod my head, pulling his face back to mine by gripping his shirt and kissing his lips deeply, barely convincing myself, but hopefully convincing him. He groans into the kiss and goes back to getting my pants undone. Even if we haven’t dealt with… the past it shouldn’t get in the way of now. We didn’t really know each other then and I’m just going to stop thinking about it before I mentally eat myself alive.
In seconds we’re shirtless with jeans halfway undone. Benji works mine down my thighs a bit before helplessly giving up. The air around us is hot and I can feel the butterflies in my stomach come to life as his fingers trail over the newly revealed skin. A breathy moan surpasses my lips as I throw in the towel and allow all inhibitions to leave me right now. I have nothing to be worried about. I have a great body and I know he’s into me. Hell, I can feel just how much he’s into me. And it’s not like I’m ill equipped. A little less than 9 inches and not even out of high school. I think that constitutes bragging rights… if I was straight and chasing after pussy.
For some reason, jocks don’t wanna hear about how big the gay kid’s dick is. Not that I can imagine why. Actually, I do know why. Because they don’t wanna know that they’re inadequate to the faggot.
When I feel Benji grab my erection after he sneaks his hand under the waistband of my boxers, the noise I make is completely embarrassing and makes me want to climb under a rock. But the only person that’s ever touched my dick besides me was Samara back in middle school which really doesn’t count considering she never did anything with it… and my doctor making me cough while she holds it. So the sensation of Benji’s warm fingers grasping on to it from the base and pull up is mildly overwhelming to say the least, but at the same time I can’t get over how fucking amazing it feels.
“God, Benj,” I pant loudly looking up at him and feeling my balls tighten as he squeezes my dick a little more. His thumb runs over the dribbling tip so he uses my pre-come to make it easier for his hand to move along my length… Suddenly his hand stops moving and just sits there on my dick. I make a small noise of protest somehow finding the strength to lean my weight on my elbows.
“What’re you-“
I’m cut off by the familiar sensation of his lips pressing against mine, his tongue entering my mouth with ease, as I’d never deny him a kiss. Not Benji. Not my totally gorgeous boyfriend.
When he pulls away, his eyes find mine and he stares at me for a long moment, almost as if he’s searching for something. The air between us becomes thick. It’s hard to breathe…
“What?” I ask in a blunt manner.
“You…” he answers breathily. He pecks my lips once more. “Are so fucking… y’know, perfect doesn’t even begin to describe it…”
I look away from him and blush still not accustomed to the term, ‘compliments.’
“No, look at me,” Benji pleads tenderly pushing his index finger under my chin until my eyes are once again level with his. “Don’t sell yourself short, you’re beautiful…” he whispers. He kisses me again and then places a hand on my chest, forcing me to lie down again on the bed. My brain is still trying to process his words, let alone keeping up with everything he’s doing to me. He’s still straddling me so I decide to put my hands on his thighs, my thumbs running over the fabric of his jeans. I can feel his boner and I want to do something about it, really I do. But then his hand is back on me, moving so slow that my mind runs blank and all I can manage to do or say is breathe and make these soft little noises. His hand is moving so slow along my shaft and-
“Shit, Benj,” I whine with my eyes squeezed shut. He’s barely moving with barely any grip. But at first he ignores my pleas, possibly enjoying putting me through this torture… torture.
My head involuntarily jerks. Don’t think about it… I scold myself. Luckily, Benji finally begins jerk me hard and fast. I quietly beg him for more, harder… I can literally feel the orgasm build inside of me and sure, I’ve jerked myself off plenty of times, but never has it been so hot… so intense. After what seems to me like six trillion hours, the pressure down below becomes so unbearable I can’t think of anything else. I know I’m moaning and probably saying things under normal circumstances I might not… but it obviously doesn’t bother Benji as I notice him starting to fumble with his jeans, opening them and taking his aching cock out so he can jerk us both off. Just the site of his dick sends a new wave of pleasure and pressure. If I thought I was on the edge of a cliff before, I’m fucking at the point of no return now. My eyes close as my mind fights to stay in the moment… stay in the now, but all the sensations and the fact that this is Benji… and he’s… oh God!
“I’m coming!” I groan from deep within my throat. My neck and back constrict to the point where they lift off the bed. I force my eyes open just in time to see Benji’s hand coated in my cum and I watch as he finishes himself off. When he comes he screams out my name and falls next to my body. Neither of us have the energy to talk; we just lay on my bed, at first panting… then just breathing gently.
After a couple of long moments I finally regain enough mental capacity to fix my boxers and pull my pants up. I get off the bed and find my shirt, putting that on before grabbing Benji’s as well. I throw it at him and it lands next to his body on the bed, but he doesn’t move an inch. I smirk at him before grabbing a discarded towel on the floor.
“You want a towel, man?” I ask him. He opens an eye and stares at me before slowly nodding. He sits up, his legs dangling over the side of the bed, facing me, but he’s not looking at me. I hand the towel to him and he cleans himself off, mostly my cum on his hand and then he tries to get his mess off the comforter of my bed.
“Benji, what are you doing?”
“Uh-“
From standing where I am, I can actually see him blush even though he’s looking down. His cheeks build to crimson and I fight the urge to do something embarrassing like scream “Aw!” and give him a hug.
“I do my own laundry Benji, I am a big boy,” I tell him, walking towards the bed with a smirk.
If it’s possible, he blushes even more.
“Oh,” is all he can think to say and I’ve never seen him like this, all shy and timid.
“Benji, is something wrong?” I ask him sitting down on the side of the bed so I face him while he stays sitting at a ninety degree angle to my body. He looks so vulnerable in that moment, shirtless, pale, with reddened cheeks. “Benj?” I question again as he stays silent.
“Was I… Was I okay?” he asks, more or less mumbling and looking down at his hands. My eyes widen with confusion. Was he okay? He was fucking amazing.
“The last guy I was with… he um, well let’s just say he made me feel inadequate to say the least…” Benji explains and I can not only hear, but feel the hurt emanating from his body as he emotes to me. It almost makes me want to cry. My mind travels back to the guys I saw him with at dad’s diner.
“Benji,” I seize one of his hands, stopping the jerky movement he’d been watching them perform. “Look at me,” I demand. He does.
“You were,” I shake my head unable to come up with an intelligent way to put my feelings. “Amazing. That was the best thing that ever happened to me, I swear to god, I kid you not…” He kisses me then, and it’s rough, full of want and need. He kisses me until he’s satisfied and then he rests his forehead against mine and we both open our eyes at nearly, if not the same time.
His eyes on me. My eyes on him.
I swear to God it’s like nobody else fucking exists.
Wow... Never thought the day would come where I had to do this...
Part Two