the stars are crying (for what we could have had) (3/13)
Title: the stars are crying (for what we could have had) (3/13)
Fandom: Merlin
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Morgana, any and all other characters
Word Count: 6,073
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this stuff, because if I did ArMor would be canon.
Spoilers: Vague spoilers for all of Merlin series 3
Summary: (The sequel to "you and i are a story that never gets told") This is season 3, the way it should've been. Arthur has lost Morgana, and he is struggling to move on without her. Morgana is learning to master her powers with the help of her sister, but she can't stay away from Camelot forever... Once you set things into motion, everything can change.
Author's Notes: This episode is the worst everrrr. But I tried to make the best of it!
Previous Installment: you and i are a story that never gets told
Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1
---
In the days after the attack on Camelot, the city was buzzing with life as people slowly rebuilt and made their way back to their homes. Morgana would watch through her window, feeling the crushing weight of guilt for her part in hurting these people. She regretted bringing war on this city; it wasn’t fair to blame them for Uther’s sins. It made her no better than him.
She knew that Morgause wouldn’t see it that way, however, so she wasn’t surprised when she didn’t hear from her sister for a week. Morgause was no fool; she would’ve deduced what had happened here. As much as Morgana would like to lie and say that someone had stopped her, she couldn’t hide the truth.
After waiting and fretting for what felt like forever, Morgana received a note on her windowsill. It was from her sister, and it detailed a time and place for them to meet. There was an overwhelming feeling of relief that accompanied her reading the note, underlined by a sense of dread, as well.
After nightfall, Morgana rode out to the meeting place described in the note and waited for her sister’s arrival. The wind whistled through the trees and she tugged her cloak tighter around her, trying to keep warm. The soft rustling of fabric distracted her, and she missed the sound of someone walking up behind her.
“Sister.” Morgause announced her presence.
Morgana spun around, a hesitant smile on her lips. “Morgause,” she breathed. “I’m so glad to see you.”
The blonde didn’t return the sentiment; she stood frozen in place, assessing her younger sister. At first, when the plan had fallen through, she had been terrified for Morgana’s safety. It was easy to assume that Uther had discovered her treachery, but Morgause had a connection with her sister, she would’ve felt it if Morgana was in trouble. That left only one option. Her sister had been unable to carry out her duty.
Morgana waited patiently for her sister to say something. She had expected Morgause to ask what had happened, but the question never came. It got to the point where Morgana couldn’t stand the silence, and she apologized in a rush. “I’m sorry, sister. I failed you, and for that I apologize.” She took a breath, watching as her sister’s face remained unchanged, still frozen in a disappointed look. “I never wanted to betray you, but you must understand, I couldn’t condemn all those people to death. It is Uther who must pay, not his subjects. So many of them have shown me kindness, they didn’t deserve this.”
Morgause slowly cocked her head. “I see.”
Morgana bit her lip gently, worrying it between her teeth.
“You think you can trust these people, Morgana?” Morgause questioned, her voice eerily calm.
Stuttering, Morgana tried, “Perhaps not all of them, but who am I to pass judgment on them-”
Morgause stopped her sister mid-sentence. “You are not like them, Morgana. Never forget, while magic is banned, you will always be an outsider.”
“We can still fix that. If Uther is no more, we can change everyone’s minds; the city will be safe for everyone with magic.”
Morgause shook her head, smiling at her sister’s naivety. “How optimistic you are, sister. I fear that life will harden you soon enough.”
Morgana swallowed, the words stinging as they fell on her ears. Keeping her voice quiet, she whispered, “I still wish to help you, Morgause. If you’ll let me.”
Deep down, Morgause knew that this wouldn’t be the last time Morgana would lose her nerve when it came to the people of Camelot. The girl loved too easily and too recklessly, and she would end up paying for it in the end, possibly with her life. No, Morgana was not cut out for this war; but Morgause had no choice. She needed help if she was to have a chance of bringing down Uther. Besides, this was family; she would not turn her back on her own blood.
“I truly am sorry, Morgause. We can find another way.” Morgana found herself echoing Merlin’s words from before, the words that had given her hope and convinced her to betray her own sister.
Unable to resist her little sister, Morgause sighed. “I forgive you, Morgana. But I warn you, you should be more careful with your wavering allegiances in the future. Next time I may not be so forgiving.”
---
Arthur entered his room to find it completely trashed. Merlin was in the middle of the chaos, throwing things around and crawling halfway under the bed. “Merlin.”
Merlin froze and pulled himself out from underneath the bed. “Arthur,” he returned, looking sheepish.
“What are you doing?” Arthur asked.
“I’m… spring cleaning!”
Arthur raised an eyebrow. “It isn’t spring. And it certainly isn’t clean.”
“Well that’s because I’ve only just started!” Merlin exclaimed. He had a stupid grin on his face, secretly hoping that Arthur would buy the excuse.
A loud crash from the hall stole Arthur’s attention away from Merlin. “What was that?”
Merlin ran forward and placed a hand on Arthur’s chest. “Why don’t I go check? You stay here.” Merlin ducked out into the hall and disappeared after the goblin he was chasing.
Arthur picked up one of his shoes before dropping it disinterestedly back to the floor. Merlin would clean it up, along with the rest of his room. Shoving some debris off his chair, he sat down, propping his feet up on the table. He closed his eyes briefly, tired from training earlier in the day. However, he was only able to relax for a few minutes before a loud scream broke the silence.
Arthur jumped out his chair, nearly tripping over his own feet as he scrambled to move. He bolted down the hall, knowing without stopping to think exactly where the scream had come from. He rounded the corner and found Morgana’s door open, with her standing in the middle, looking furious.
Morgana’s room was in a state of disarray, just as Arthur’s was. She was picking up stray pieces of jewelry that were littering the floor and grumbling to herself.
Realizing that there wasn’t any immediate danger, Arthur leaned casually against the doorjamb and chuckled to himself.
Morgana whipped around at the sound of Arthur’s laughter. “You think this is funny?”
He shrugged, the satisfied smile still on his lips. “You got off easy. My room is much worse.”
Morgana’s forehead creased in confusion. “You know who did this?”
He nodded. “Merlin is spring cleaning, apparently.”
“It’s not spring!” Morgana fumed. “And he’s not my servant!” She roughly threw her trinkets back into her jewelry box.
“He’s not that bright,” Arthur said by means of explanation. He was accustomed to Merlin’s strange quirks.
Morgana huffed, “Well, tell him to stay out of my room from now on.”
Arthur bowed his head in agreement. “As you command, my lady.”
Upon hearing his teasing term of endearment, her whole body stiffened and a chill ran down her spine. She was sure he didn’t do it intentionally, it was just so easy to fall back into their old banter; he probably hadn’t even noticed. Either way, it still hurt, and she suddenly wanted to have him far from her sight. Her body betrayed her far too often when he was around.
She stood up and walked over to him, pushing at his chest. “That goes for you too,” she snapped. As he stumbled backwards through the doorframe, Morgana slammed the door shut in his face.
Arthur stared at the door, completely dumbfounded. He shook his head in annoyance before heading back to his room. He didn’t understand Morgana anymore.
After she kicked Arthur out, Morgana went through her jewelry box, checking to see if everything was there. She had found all her bracelets strewn across the floor, her favorite emerald necklace on her bedpost, her hair pins on the dresser, and after picking it all up, everything was now back in its rightful place. Smiling to herself, she reached up to her neck, feeling for the most important piece of jewelry she owned. She had been wearing it every day, except… it suddenly occurred to her that she hadn’t worn it since she returned to Camelot. She hadn’t wanted Arthur to see it, so she had kept it in her room.
A panic took over her, and she searched the jewelry box two more times. Finding nothing there, she dug through all of her drawers and cabinets, desperately trying to find it. She checked under the bed, behind the curtains, and everywhere else she could think. She couldn’t find it anywhere. It was gone.
---
Morgana made her way down to Merlin’s chambers, hoping that he had seen her necklace. It was silly, but she desperately wanted it back. It was the only thing she had left, the only reminder of who she used to be, and she couldn’t lose that.
“Merlin?” she asked as she entered Gaius’s chambers.
The boy was looking through a book furiously, trying to find a solution to his goblin problem, and he didn’t notice Morgana’s entrance.
“Merlin?” she asked again. She lightly tapped on his shoulder, causing him to jump from the bench.
“Morgana!” he yelled, clearly shocked that she was next to him. “What are you doing here? Do you need to see Gaius?”
Morgana shook her head. “I was looking for you. I heard you’ve been spring cleaning?”
Merlin’s face flushed a deep shade of red. “I’m sorry, Morgana, I’ll clean up your room-”
“It’s fine,” Morgana interrupted. “I was just wondering if you had taken anything from my room. Perhaps to clean it or something?”
Merlin looked guilty. He was sure the goblin had stolen whatever she was missing, but he couldn’t tell her that.
“I’m missing a ring. It would’ve been hung on a chain? I promise I won’t be mad if you’ve taken it, Merlin. I just want it returned.”
Merlin’s lips dropped into a frown. “I’m sorry, Morgana, but I haven’t seen it.”
Morgana sighed. She had feared that response. It meant that she had lost the ring, or Arthur had seen and taken it without telling her. Either way, she wasn’t getting it back. “Alright. Thank you, Merlin.” As she turned to leave, she added, “If you do see it…”
“I’ll be sure to be on the lookout for you, Lady Morgana.”
Morgana gave him a sad smile and left, feeling miserable yet again. She was truly growing tired of being unhappy.
---
That night, Morgana lie awake, staring at the ceiling. Most nights when she couldn’t sleep on the isle, she would spin Arthur’s ring around her finger, pretending that he was just down the hall from her, sleeping peacefully. The thought would make her feel safe, and she would be able to sleep again. But not tonight. She kept unconsciously grabbing at her neck only to find nothing there but the cool skin of her throat.
She knew he was down the hall for real now, but it didn’t help. The comfort before had stemmed from feeling warm and loved, and all that was gone. Perhaps it was good that the ring was gone, it was only encouraging her to hold on to something that wasn’t there anymore.
She closed her eyes tightly, praying for sleep. She couldn’t shut off her brain, though, and her thoughts continued to run wild. After several agonizing moments of visualizing Arthur’s face, she gave up on sleep and threw the covers off, exposing her legs to the cold air.
Pulling on a cover, she opened her door and peered out into the hallway. It was completely dark, save for the few lit torches on the wall. It didn’t matter if she could see, she knew the castle like the back of her hand. She padded down the hall with no set destination. It was nice to be free of the constant swarm of people and prying eyes. The freedom had been what she enjoyed most about being on the isle. She could walk for hours there without anyone ever stopping to question her actions. It was nice, to be that free, but it had also been lonely, now that she thought on it. She would find herself peering around corners of the ruined castle at the center of the isle, expecting to see guards or servants milling about. Surprisingly, she halfway enjoyed the security of knowing that someone else was only a call away now.
Suddenly craving the presence of another, she was pleased when she heard yelling coming from one of the rooms. Strangely enough, it was Arthur’s door at which she arrived. He seemed distressed, and despite her desire to stay away from him, she found herself opening the door.
Arthur was yelling out, trying to find an invisible assailant. He was on the floor, wrapped up in the covering that normally hung above his bed. He had his sword in one hand, flailing it about as he struggled to escape the heavy material covering him.
Morgana’s hands flew to her mouth, holding in her laughter. Unable to stop herself, she eventually let out a burst of giggles, finding the whole situation hilarious.
Through the material over his head, Arthur mumbled, “Who’s there?”
Hearing his muffled question only made her laugh harder.
Recognizing the sound, Arthur yelled, “Morgana! Is that you?”
She continued to laugh until she was barely able to breathe.
“MORGANA!” Arthur bellowed.
“What-” she managed between breathy bursts of laughter, “happened?”
He ignored her question, still too angry about being trapped. “Get me out of here!”
She stifled her laughter long enough to walk over to him and help. Bending at the knee, she unwound the material and gradually released Arthur from his cocoon.
As the thick covering fell away, Arthur rolled over and lay on his back, looking up at her with a furious expression. “We will never speak of this.”
Morgana grabbed his hand and helped him to his feet, then picked up his sword and handed it back to him. “Do you think you can make it through the night without the rest of your bedcovers attacking you?”
“Shut up, Morgana,” he grumbled.
“I think the curtains are looking rather ominous as well, maybe they’re plotting against you.”
He tossed his sword on the table and dragged himself to the bed, flopping face down onto the pillows. “I’m serious, ‘Gana, not another word.”
“But what if my bed coverings attack me as well? I don’t think I can go back to bed now,” she teased.
“Mor-gan-aaa.” He drew out the syllables of her name, the word coming out at an angry whine.
She chuckled to herself, pleased with having sufficiently bothered him. “Fine, I’ll go. Just try not to let your pillows smother you while I’m gone.”
Arthur punched one of his pillows in frustration before burying his face in it as Morgana left.
---
At the council meeting the next day, Morgana sat in her normal place on Uther’s left as Arthur explained the new problem in the kingdom. She was trying her best to contain her laughter; Uther had been struck with some sort of affliction, and now was completely bald. He wore a cap to cover it, but it was still highly amusing.
Arthur addressed his father. “There have been instances of vandalism around the palace, as well as a number of thefts. I myself was a victim; unfortunately, the thief managed to elude me.”
Arthur’s statement only increased Morgana’s desire to laugh. She knew firsthand how the thief had eluded Arthur, and she still couldn’t shake the image of him being attacked by his own bedcovers.
“Double the guard,” Uther declared. “I want the perpetrator found.”
Morgana realized that this thief could be the one who stole her ring, and she crossed her arms in frustration. Hopefully the guards would find the person soon.
“The council is dismissed.” Uther announced.
One glance at Uther’s head was enough to lift Morgana’s spirits again. She looked back and caught Gwen’s eye, seeing that the maid was grinning as well. As the council left, Morgana found herself falling into step with Gwen, like she would’ve done before.
Gwen was surprised, but she wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to rekindle her friendship with Morgana. She whispered, “Did you see the king’s face? I can’t believe something actually caused all his hair to fall out!”
Morgana found herself smiling along with Gwen. “Personally, I think someone did it to him on purpose. Maybe the royal haircutter got tired of dealing with Uther’s fits all the time and just shaved it all off!”
Gwen laughed at that. “Or maybe this elusive thief stole all of his hair!”
Laughter bubbled up in Morgana’s chest. She had been doing a lot of laughing lately, and it felt good. “Speaking of the thief, apparently he was in Arthur’s room last night. You should’ve seen it, Gwen; I found Arthur hopelessly tangled in his bed canopy. Whoever this thief is, he at least has a sense of humor!”
The grin on Gwen’s face started to fade, and her laughter died on her lips. “You were in Arthur’s room last night?”
Still laughing, Morgana waved it off, “Oh, no, it wasn’t-” Abruptly, she stopped, suddenly remembering their situation. She backed away from her maid, their closeness feeling wrong.
They both stood there in silence, the real world having burst their moment of joy. Eventually Morgana cleared her throat awkwardly.
Gwen excused herself from Morgana’s presence, and both girls hurriedly walked in opposite directions.
---
Arthur received some troubling news from his father, and was forced to do something he didn’t agree with, yet again. He had grown to trust his father more in the past year, but there was still the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that reminded him that his father had done terrible things. The man was brutal when it came to sorcery, and that was evident in his most recent demand.
Arthur was forced to arrest Merlin, despite his better judgment. It was on the king’s orders, under the recommendation of Gaius. Arthur was shocked that Gaius was so quick to turn in his young apprentice. Gaius had always treated Merlin like a son in the past.
It was troubling, but Arthur did as his father asked. They arrested Merlin and brought him before the council.
Morgana sat and watched as Merlin was accused of being responsible for causing the afflictions that members of the court had suffered. Merlin tried to deny the accusations, but Gaius presented evidence.
“I found this in your room. It’s a book of spells and enchantments.” Gaius explained as he produced a book.
Morgana was shocked. She knew that Merlin had magic, but for Gaius to turn him in like this was unbelievable. She found herself remembering her sister’s warning about the people of Camelot. Perhaps she couldn’t trust them after all. Gaius knew of her magic as well, how long would it be before he turned her in, too?
Merlin was trying to prove his innocence, but his claims were ignored, and Morgana was barely listening. Arthur seemed intrigued, however, and tried to help his servant, but he was unsuccessful.
Gaius piped up, “I’ve been harboring a sorcerer, sire, and for that I apologize.”
Gaius’s admission stung, and Morgana squirmed in her seat. She faintly heard Uther sentence Merlin to death, and she caught the serving boy’s eye. She didn’t feel much of anything towards him anymore, and she couldn’t find it in her to feel pity now. He had stopped her before when she tried to save people with magic, and he would continue to thwart her sister’s plans in the future. Perhaps it would be better if he was gone. Besides, it wasn’t Morgana’s doing, and maybe this would show Arthur how wrong he had been about his beloved father.
As they dragged Merlin away, Morgana only felt the slightest twinge of sorrow. This was exactly why she needed to eliminate Uther, to stop this from happening ever again.
---
Late in the night, Guinevere awoke to the sound of someone breaking into her house. She got up and grabbed a candle, but before she could search the house, a hand covered her mouth and pulled her back.
Her screams were muffled, but she struggled against the arms holding her.
“Gwen, it’s me!”
Gwen turned around to find Merlin standing there. She wasn’t happy that he had broken in, but she was glad to see him safe. “Merlin,” she breathed. “I thought they arrested you.”
He grinned sheepishly. “I broke out.” At her disapproving glare, he continued, “I’m innocent, Gwen! It’s Gaius; he’s possessed by a goblin!”
Gwen knew that Merlin would never lie to her, and she trusted his judgment. “I believe you, Merlin. But what can we do?”
“We have to get the goblin out of Gaius.”
“What can I do?” Gwen asked.
“I need you to help convince Arthur.”
---
As morning broke, Arthur had to deliver the news that Merlin had escaped to his father. Personally, he was grateful that Merlin had broken free; he couldn’t bear to see his friend put to death.
Somehow Merlin had obtained a set of keys, and Arthur was slightly suspicious that it had been Morgana; she had done it before. When he saw her in throne room, she looked relatively uninterested, though.
He explained to his father that Merlin had escaped, constantly checking for Morgana’s reaction as he spoke, but her face remained stony.
Surprisingly, the one most bothered by the news was Gaius. He had an outburst about Merlin’s escape, blaming Arthur and calling him lazy. It was startling, and everyone fell silent until Gaius apologized for his actions.
It made Arthur highly suspicious of the older man, and he kept an eye on him even after the meeting had ended. Perhaps Merlin had been telling the truth, and Gaius truly was possessed by something evil.
In order to prove his theory, he sent for Gaius after the council, asking that the physician come to see him in his chambers.
“I believe you sent for me, sire?” Gaius asked.
Arthur pasted on a fake smile. “I wanted to thank you in person. It couldn’t have been easy for you, exposing Merlin like that.”
“My loyalty to Camelot and your father comes first,” Gaius said by means of explanation.
That was plausible, so Arthur tried another tactic. “I should also thank you for ridding me of the most incompetent, rude, and lazy servant Camelot has ever known.”
“I’m just sorry you had to deal with his ineptitude for so long.”
“Well, when we catch him, you’ll see him hang,” Arthur chirped with an air of false excitement.
Gaius smiled and replied, “I shall look forward to that.”
Arthur’s face fell. It was true. He knew for certain that this wasn’t the Gaius he had known his entire life. That man would never be so cruel as to celebrate an execution.
“Is something wrong?”
Arthur turned away. “The Gaius I know would never look forward to seeing Merlin hang, no matter what he’d done.” He drew his sword and spun towards Gaius, holding the weapon out in front of him. “Merlin was telling the truth.”
Just as Arthur moved to attack, Gaius’s eyes glowed yellow, and a pot flew across the room. The pot collided with Arthur’s head and shattered upon impact, causing Arthur to fall to the floor and lose consciousness.
Before the goblin wearing Gaius’s skin left, he cast one more spell over the sleeping prince.
---
Per Merlin’s request, Gwen went to go visit Arthur with the hopes that she could convince him to help. Part of her wished that Merlin had gone to Morgana instead; Morgana could always get Arthur to do whatever she asked, without fail. Pushing that feeling down, she gathered her courage and knocked on Arthur’s door.
When he didn’t immediately respond, Gwen tried knocking again. “Arthur?”
A faint noise came through the door, but there were no discernible words.
“Arthur?” Gwen repeated. She heard the same noise a second time. “I’m coming in.”
She entered the room cautiously, hoping that she didn’t catch the prince in the bath or something equally as embarrassing. “Arthur?” she called.
Gwen peered around the edge of the bed, finding Arthur sitting on the floor. At least, she figured it was Arthur. He had a few new developments. “Oh!” she cried, her hand flying to her chest as she gasped.
Unable to speak, Arthur just sat there looking extremely annoyed as Gwen figured out what had happened.
---
As Gwen left Arthur’s room, she bumped into Morgana as she walked by in the hallway. As Gwen brushed herself off, she apologized, “I’m sorry, my lady.”
Morgana noticed the room that Gwen had exited from and shook her head. “It’s fine,” she replied, her tone clipped.
“Morgana, you should know-”
Interrupting, Morgana put up her hands to signal Gwen to stop. “I really don’t want to know, Gwen.”
“But, Morgana…” she tried again.
“I need to go, Gwen, please-” She tried to move past the girl to continue on her way.
Blocking Morgana’s path, Gwen exploded, “Arthur’s a donkey!”
Morgana stopped her movements and took a step back, studying Gwen. “Come again?”
“Well, he has the ears. And… and the voice.” She looked as though she was torn between laughing at him and feeling pity for him. “He’s braying.”
“What?” Morgana spluttered. “You’re joking.”
Gwen shook her head. “It’s the truth.”
Morgana lifted an eyebrow, still questioning.
It was clear that Morgana needed further convincing. Gwen smiled slightly. “He might need some looking after, if you wouldn’t mind.”
“Me?” Morgana asked, surprised that Gwen would want her to be alone with Arthur.
“I have chores, and I doubt he’d want anyone else to see him this way.” Truthfully, she was busy helping Merlin stop a goblin, but she didn’t want to tell Morgana that.
Morgana chewed on her lip, debating whether or not she should help. She probably shouldn’t get involved; it never worked out when she spent too much time alone with Arthur. “I’m sure he’ll be fine, Gwen.”
Gwen shrugged, her smile still in place. “Suit yourself.” She curtsied before leaving. “Good day, my lady.”
Morgana watched as Gwen left, unable to move yet. She was interested in seeing Arthur’s new predicament, and it would probably be enjoyable to make fun of him at least. She blew out a breath in irritation. Her curiosity had gotten the best of her. She’d just go for a minute, and then she would leave.
Checking to make sure that no one was watching, she ducked into Arthur’s room, quietly shutting the door behind her. The room seemed empty, and she wondered for a moment if Gwen had been lying. “Arthur?” she called.
A grunt could be heard from the other side of the bed, and Morgana walked closer to the sound. She came around the corner of the bed and nearly fell over from the sight in front of her. She burst into laughter, using the post from the bed to hold her up as she cackled.
Gwen definitely hadn’t lied. Arthur had huge furry ears like that of a donkey, and he looked extremely upset about it.
Morgana couldn’t contain herself; this was even funnier than the state she had found him in the other night.
Arthur brayed angrily in protest of Morgana’s laughter, which only made the situation worse.
Her laughter increased in volume, and she collapsed to her knees in front of Arthur. He continued to bray, and Morgana could just imagine him yelling at her like usual. Taking a few deep steadying breaths, she contained her laughter for his sake. He looked so pathetic, she felt bad for him.
“Sorry,” she murmured.
He snorted in response.
Morgana adjusted her skirts and tucked her legs under her, leaning back against the bed. Now that she had settled, it was easier to get a good look at Arthur. She swallowed the laughter that threatened to start up again. “You know,” she stated, “I think I rather like you like this.”
Arthur glared at her.
She smirked back at him. “I mean, other than the ears. You can’t talk, so for once you won’t be able to annoy me.”
He let out a long bray, as if to contradict her statement, which only made Morgana roll her eyes.
She cocked her head at him, scanning over his body. “You don’t have a tail under there, do you?” She reached a hand out towards him, intrigued.
Arthur snapped his teeth at her hand, causing her to pull it back.
“Is that a no?” Morgana asked.
Arthur made an angry sound, or at least as angry a sound as a donkey could make, and Morgana stopped asking questions.
They sat in silence for a long while, and Morgana stared out the window to pass the time. It eventually occurred to her that this would be a good time to say her piece about everything that had happened, since Arthur would be unable to speak, and therefore unable to make her mad and ultimately ruin her speech like he normally would. She glanced over at him, finding that he was still sulking.
He caught her staring and lifted an eyebrow, wordlessly asking her what she wanted.
Gathering her nerve, she launched into the speech she had been going over in her head every night since she had returned. “I wanted to tell you,” she took a breath, “that I was sorry.”
It was obvious from his face that he didn’t understand.
“I’m sorry for so much. For leaving you…” She noticed his eyes darken when she said this, and she knew that he wasn’t confused anymore. She continued, “For not having the courage to tell you that I was alive.”
His face twisted into an unpleasant visage, as though he was reliving the memories.
She dropped her gaze, unable to look at him. “I wanted to tell you, at first. I missed you… so much, Arthur.” Biting down on her lip, she forced back the tears that pricked at her eyes. “I just… I…” she trailed off.
Arthur’s expression softened a little, but his eyes were still dark, like the sea after a storm.
Shutting her eyes tightly, she went on, her voice trembling. “It was easier to let you go, I think. You meant too much to me, and you expected too much; if you had known, I would’ve had to fight harder to come back, to be who you wanted, and I wasn’t that strong.”
She slowly looked back up at him. “That wasn’t fair, I know that. I was selfish, and scared. You deserved more than that.”
Arthur’s arm twitched, he longed to reach out and touch her, but his brain was forcing him to hold still.
“You still deserve more,” she admitted. Brushing at her eyes, she finished, “I just wanted you to know how sorry I am, for everything.”
He opened his mouth and tried to speak, but it came out as a bray just like the rest.
Morgana gave him a watery smile and bent over to lightly kiss his cheek. As she leaned back, she stroked his furry ear and a broken sounding laugh rumbled in her chest. She stood up, moving back and leaving him on the floor. “I’ll be sure to tell someone to come and fix…” she waved her hand over him, “This.”
He was still too stunned by her speech to properly react, so he just nodded numbly.
Morgana tried to smile, but it hurt too much and she turned and left before she completely broke down.
---
Over the next few days, everything in Camelot went back to normal. Merlin and Gwen successfully captured the goblin, and saved Gaius as well. Merlin was cleared of all charges, and the goblin was locked away somewhere safe. All the enchantments were broken, and all the afflictions healed.
The stolen items were found in Gaius’s chambers and returned to the proper owners. Merlin brought the chest of gold back to Arthur’s room for him and set it on the table.
Arthur opened the box, doubling checking that everything was there.
“Worried that I stole something, sire?” Merlin joked.
Arthur shook his head, not bothering with a witty retort.
Merlin watched Arthur with concern in his eyes, the prince had been oddly quiet ever since they had removed the enchantment on him and returned him to normal. “Are you alright?”
Arthur continued to sift through the coins. “Fine,” he replied disinterestedly.
Merlin rolled his eyes. It was glaringly obvious that Arthur was lying, but he wasn’t going to push it.
As Arthur picked up a handful of coins, he noticed something out of place in the box. There was a necklace of some sort at the bottom, and he reached for it. He pulled out a white gold chain, and with it, a silver ring that hung on it. It dangled from one of his fingers, and he stared at it, recognition washing over him.
Merlin noticed Arthur’s strange behavior and walked over to inspect the ring as well. “Oh, good, you found it.”
Merlin’s words broke Arthur’s fixation with the ring and he looked up at his manservant.
Merlin explained, “Morgana was looking for it.” Sensing Arthur’s interest in the subject, Merlin knowingly added, “She seemed rather upset about losing it.”
Arthur took the new information in and nodded his head. “I should return it, then.”
“You should,” Merlin agreed.
---
Morgana was busying herself by reorganizing her closet for the fifth time when a knock came at her door. She dropped the dress she was holding and spun around to face the door, worried about who was on the other side.
The knocking came again, this time accompanied by a voice. “Morgana, I know you’re in there.”
She sighed heavily. “I’m busy, Arthur.”
“Morgana.” He uttered her name like a warning. He was going to come in whether she wanted it or not.
Reluctantly, Morgana walked over to the door and opened it a fraction, just enough to see his face. “What do you want, Arthur?”
“I have something of yours,” he answered.
Taking a step back, she opened the door enough to let him inside the room.
Once Arthur was inside, he turned to Morgana and held out his closed fist. Before she could comment, he relaxed his fingers and let the ring slide out of his hand. He kept the end of the chain in his palm to keep it from falling.
Morgana let out a small gasp.
“I believe you were looking for this,” Arthur remarked.
She nodded. “Where did you find it?”
“The goblin had stolen it. He must’ve liked the gold chain.”
Morgana found herself nodding again, unable to do much more. Her voice kept getting caught in her throat, and she didn’t trust herself to speak.
Arthur shook his head, chuckling quietly to himself. “You kept it.”
Morgana bit her bottom lip, nodding a third time.
He held his arm out to her, offering back the ring.
Morgana couldn’t move her arm to take it back. “It was yours,” she mumbled. “You can have it back.”
He knew her well enough to know when she was lying. She wanted the ring, he could tell. He considered keeping it, but the thought of giving it to anyone else seemed wrong. Guinevere was wonderful, and he cared for her, but this ring, it would always belong to Morgana. With his free hand, he reached down and gently grabbed Morgana’s wrist. He pulled up her hand and turned it over so her palm was open.
Morgana watched him curiously as he placed the ring in her hand. He carefully closed her fingers over the trinket before he let go.
“It looks better on you.” He smiled at her before turning to open the door. He glanced back one more time before slipping out of the room.
Morgana stood there for several minutes, too stunned to properly function. She didn’t want to get her hopes up, but this seemed like a step in the right direction. Maybe things could get back to normal, after all.
Next Chapter
Fandom: Merlin
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Morgana, any and all other characters
Word Count: 6,073
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this stuff, because if I did ArMor would be canon.
Spoilers: Vague spoilers for all of Merlin series 3
Summary: (The sequel to "you and i are a story that never gets told") This is season 3, the way it should've been. Arthur has lost Morgana, and he is struggling to move on without her. Morgana is learning to master her powers with the help of her sister, but she can't stay away from Camelot forever... Once you set things into motion, everything can change.
Author's Notes: This episode is the worst everrrr. But I tried to make the best of it!
Previous Installment: you and i are a story that never gets told
Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1
---
In the days after the attack on Camelot, the city was buzzing with life as people slowly rebuilt and made their way back to their homes. Morgana would watch through her window, feeling the crushing weight of guilt for her part in hurting these people. She regretted bringing war on this city; it wasn’t fair to blame them for Uther’s sins. It made her no better than him.
She knew that Morgause wouldn’t see it that way, however, so she wasn’t surprised when she didn’t hear from her sister for a week. Morgause was no fool; she would’ve deduced what had happened here. As much as Morgana would like to lie and say that someone had stopped her, she couldn’t hide the truth.
After waiting and fretting for what felt like forever, Morgana received a note on her windowsill. It was from her sister, and it detailed a time and place for them to meet. There was an overwhelming feeling of relief that accompanied her reading the note, underlined by a sense of dread, as well.
After nightfall, Morgana rode out to the meeting place described in the note and waited for her sister’s arrival. The wind whistled through the trees and she tugged her cloak tighter around her, trying to keep warm. The soft rustling of fabric distracted her, and she missed the sound of someone walking up behind her.
“Sister.” Morgause announced her presence.
Morgana spun around, a hesitant smile on her lips. “Morgause,” she breathed. “I’m so glad to see you.”
The blonde didn’t return the sentiment; she stood frozen in place, assessing her younger sister. At first, when the plan had fallen through, she had been terrified for Morgana’s safety. It was easy to assume that Uther had discovered her treachery, but Morgause had a connection with her sister, she would’ve felt it if Morgana was in trouble. That left only one option. Her sister had been unable to carry out her duty.
Morgana waited patiently for her sister to say something. She had expected Morgause to ask what had happened, but the question never came. It got to the point where Morgana couldn’t stand the silence, and she apologized in a rush. “I’m sorry, sister. I failed you, and for that I apologize.” She took a breath, watching as her sister’s face remained unchanged, still frozen in a disappointed look. “I never wanted to betray you, but you must understand, I couldn’t condemn all those people to death. It is Uther who must pay, not his subjects. So many of them have shown me kindness, they didn’t deserve this.”
Morgause slowly cocked her head. “I see.”
Morgana bit her lip gently, worrying it between her teeth.
“You think you can trust these people, Morgana?” Morgause questioned, her voice eerily calm.
Stuttering, Morgana tried, “Perhaps not all of them, but who am I to pass judgment on them-”
Morgause stopped her sister mid-sentence. “You are not like them, Morgana. Never forget, while magic is banned, you will always be an outsider.”
“We can still fix that. If Uther is no more, we can change everyone’s minds; the city will be safe for everyone with magic.”
Morgause shook her head, smiling at her sister’s naivety. “How optimistic you are, sister. I fear that life will harden you soon enough.”
Morgana swallowed, the words stinging as they fell on her ears. Keeping her voice quiet, she whispered, “I still wish to help you, Morgause. If you’ll let me.”
Deep down, Morgause knew that this wouldn’t be the last time Morgana would lose her nerve when it came to the people of Camelot. The girl loved too easily and too recklessly, and she would end up paying for it in the end, possibly with her life. No, Morgana was not cut out for this war; but Morgause had no choice. She needed help if she was to have a chance of bringing down Uther. Besides, this was family; she would not turn her back on her own blood.
“I truly am sorry, Morgause. We can find another way.” Morgana found herself echoing Merlin’s words from before, the words that had given her hope and convinced her to betray her own sister.
Unable to resist her little sister, Morgause sighed. “I forgive you, Morgana. But I warn you, you should be more careful with your wavering allegiances in the future. Next time I may not be so forgiving.”
---
Arthur entered his room to find it completely trashed. Merlin was in the middle of the chaos, throwing things around and crawling halfway under the bed. “Merlin.”
Merlin froze and pulled himself out from underneath the bed. “Arthur,” he returned, looking sheepish.
“What are you doing?” Arthur asked.
“I’m… spring cleaning!”
Arthur raised an eyebrow. “It isn’t spring. And it certainly isn’t clean.”
“Well that’s because I’ve only just started!” Merlin exclaimed. He had a stupid grin on his face, secretly hoping that Arthur would buy the excuse.
A loud crash from the hall stole Arthur’s attention away from Merlin. “What was that?”
Merlin ran forward and placed a hand on Arthur’s chest. “Why don’t I go check? You stay here.” Merlin ducked out into the hall and disappeared after the goblin he was chasing.
Arthur picked up one of his shoes before dropping it disinterestedly back to the floor. Merlin would clean it up, along with the rest of his room. Shoving some debris off his chair, he sat down, propping his feet up on the table. He closed his eyes briefly, tired from training earlier in the day. However, he was only able to relax for a few minutes before a loud scream broke the silence.
Arthur jumped out his chair, nearly tripping over his own feet as he scrambled to move. He bolted down the hall, knowing without stopping to think exactly where the scream had come from. He rounded the corner and found Morgana’s door open, with her standing in the middle, looking furious.
Morgana’s room was in a state of disarray, just as Arthur’s was. She was picking up stray pieces of jewelry that were littering the floor and grumbling to herself.
Realizing that there wasn’t any immediate danger, Arthur leaned casually against the doorjamb and chuckled to himself.
Morgana whipped around at the sound of Arthur’s laughter. “You think this is funny?”
He shrugged, the satisfied smile still on his lips. “You got off easy. My room is much worse.”
Morgana’s forehead creased in confusion. “You know who did this?”
He nodded. “Merlin is spring cleaning, apparently.”
“It’s not spring!” Morgana fumed. “And he’s not my servant!” She roughly threw her trinkets back into her jewelry box.
“He’s not that bright,” Arthur said by means of explanation. He was accustomed to Merlin’s strange quirks.
Morgana huffed, “Well, tell him to stay out of my room from now on.”
Arthur bowed his head in agreement. “As you command, my lady.”
Upon hearing his teasing term of endearment, her whole body stiffened and a chill ran down her spine. She was sure he didn’t do it intentionally, it was just so easy to fall back into their old banter; he probably hadn’t even noticed. Either way, it still hurt, and she suddenly wanted to have him far from her sight. Her body betrayed her far too often when he was around.
She stood up and walked over to him, pushing at his chest. “That goes for you too,” she snapped. As he stumbled backwards through the doorframe, Morgana slammed the door shut in his face.
Arthur stared at the door, completely dumbfounded. He shook his head in annoyance before heading back to his room. He didn’t understand Morgana anymore.
After she kicked Arthur out, Morgana went through her jewelry box, checking to see if everything was there. She had found all her bracelets strewn across the floor, her favorite emerald necklace on her bedpost, her hair pins on the dresser, and after picking it all up, everything was now back in its rightful place. Smiling to herself, she reached up to her neck, feeling for the most important piece of jewelry she owned. She had been wearing it every day, except… it suddenly occurred to her that she hadn’t worn it since she returned to Camelot. She hadn’t wanted Arthur to see it, so she had kept it in her room.
A panic took over her, and she searched the jewelry box two more times. Finding nothing there, she dug through all of her drawers and cabinets, desperately trying to find it. She checked under the bed, behind the curtains, and everywhere else she could think. She couldn’t find it anywhere. It was gone.
---
Morgana made her way down to Merlin’s chambers, hoping that he had seen her necklace. It was silly, but she desperately wanted it back. It was the only thing she had left, the only reminder of who she used to be, and she couldn’t lose that.
“Merlin?” she asked as she entered Gaius’s chambers.
The boy was looking through a book furiously, trying to find a solution to his goblin problem, and he didn’t notice Morgana’s entrance.
“Merlin?” she asked again. She lightly tapped on his shoulder, causing him to jump from the bench.
“Morgana!” he yelled, clearly shocked that she was next to him. “What are you doing here? Do you need to see Gaius?”
Morgana shook her head. “I was looking for you. I heard you’ve been spring cleaning?”
Merlin’s face flushed a deep shade of red. “I’m sorry, Morgana, I’ll clean up your room-”
“It’s fine,” Morgana interrupted. “I was just wondering if you had taken anything from my room. Perhaps to clean it or something?”
Merlin looked guilty. He was sure the goblin had stolen whatever she was missing, but he couldn’t tell her that.
“I’m missing a ring. It would’ve been hung on a chain? I promise I won’t be mad if you’ve taken it, Merlin. I just want it returned.”
Merlin’s lips dropped into a frown. “I’m sorry, Morgana, but I haven’t seen it.”
Morgana sighed. She had feared that response. It meant that she had lost the ring, or Arthur had seen and taken it without telling her. Either way, she wasn’t getting it back. “Alright. Thank you, Merlin.” As she turned to leave, she added, “If you do see it…”
“I’ll be sure to be on the lookout for you, Lady Morgana.”
Morgana gave him a sad smile and left, feeling miserable yet again. She was truly growing tired of being unhappy.
---
That night, Morgana lie awake, staring at the ceiling. Most nights when she couldn’t sleep on the isle, she would spin Arthur’s ring around her finger, pretending that he was just down the hall from her, sleeping peacefully. The thought would make her feel safe, and she would be able to sleep again. But not tonight. She kept unconsciously grabbing at her neck only to find nothing there but the cool skin of her throat.
She knew he was down the hall for real now, but it didn’t help. The comfort before had stemmed from feeling warm and loved, and all that was gone. Perhaps it was good that the ring was gone, it was only encouraging her to hold on to something that wasn’t there anymore.
She closed her eyes tightly, praying for sleep. She couldn’t shut off her brain, though, and her thoughts continued to run wild. After several agonizing moments of visualizing Arthur’s face, she gave up on sleep and threw the covers off, exposing her legs to the cold air.
Pulling on a cover, she opened her door and peered out into the hallway. It was completely dark, save for the few lit torches on the wall. It didn’t matter if she could see, she knew the castle like the back of her hand. She padded down the hall with no set destination. It was nice to be free of the constant swarm of people and prying eyes. The freedom had been what she enjoyed most about being on the isle. She could walk for hours there without anyone ever stopping to question her actions. It was nice, to be that free, but it had also been lonely, now that she thought on it. She would find herself peering around corners of the ruined castle at the center of the isle, expecting to see guards or servants milling about. Surprisingly, she halfway enjoyed the security of knowing that someone else was only a call away now.
Suddenly craving the presence of another, she was pleased when she heard yelling coming from one of the rooms. Strangely enough, it was Arthur’s door at which she arrived. He seemed distressed, and despite her desire to stay away from him, she found herself opening the door.
Arthur was yelling out, trying to find an invisible assailant. He was on the floor, wrapped up in the covering that normally hung above his bed. He had his sword in one hand, flailing it about as he struggled to escape the heavy material covering him.
Morgana’s hands flew to her mouth, holding in her laughter. Unable to stop herself, she eventually let out a burst of giggles, finding the whole situation hilarious.
Through the material over his head, Arthur mumbled, “Who’s there?”
Hearing his muffled question only made her laugh harder.
Recognizing the sound, Arthur yelled, “Morgana! Is that you?”
She continued to laugh until she was barely able to breathe.
“MORGANA!” Arthur bellowed.
“What-” she managed between breathy bursts of laughter, “happened?”
He ignored her question, still too angry about being trapped. “Get me out of here!”
She stifled her laughter long enough to walk over to him and help. Bending at the knee, she unwound the material and gradually released Arthur from his cocoon.
As the thick covering fell away, Arthur rolled over and lay on his back, looking up at her with a furious expression. “We will never speak of this.”
Morgana grabbed his hand and helped him to his feet, then picked up his sword and handed it back to him. “Do you think you can make it through the night without the rest of your bedcovers attacking you?”
“Shut up, Morgana,” he grumbled.
“I think the curtains are looking rather ominous as well, maybe they’re plotting against you.”
He tossed his sword on the table and dragged himself to the bed, flopping face down onto the pillows. “I’m serious, ‘Gana, not another word.”
“But what if my bed coverings attack me as well? I don’t think I can go back to bed now,” she teased.
“Mor-gan-aaa.” He drew out the syllables of her name, the word coming out at an angry whine.
She chuckled to herself, pleased with having sufficiently bothered him. “Fine, I’ll go. Just try not to let your pillows smother you while I’m gone.”
Arthur punched one of his pillows in frustration before burying his face in it as Morgana left.
---
At the council meeting the next day, Morgana sat in her normal place on Uther’s left as Arthur explained the new problem in the kingdom. She was trying her best to contain her laughter; Uther had been struck with some sort of affliction, and now was completely bald. He wore a cap to cover it, but it was still highly amusing.
Arthur addressed his father. “There have been instances of vandalism around the palace, as well as a number of thefts. I myself was a victim; unfortunately, the thief managed to elude me.”
Arthur’s statement only increased Morgana’s desire to laugh. She knew firsthand how the thief had eluded Arthur, and she still couldn’t shake the image of him being attacked by his own bedcovers.
“Double the guard,” Uther declared. “I want the perpetrator found.”
Morgana realized that this thief could be the one who stole her ring, and she crossed her arms in frustration. Hopefully the guards would find the person soon.
“The council is dismissed.” Uther announced.
One glance at Uther’s head was enough to lift Morgana’s spirits again. She looked back and caught Gwen’s eye, seeing that the maid was grinning as well. As the council left, Morgana found herself falling into step with Gwen, like she would’ve done before.
Gwen was surprised, but she wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to rekindle her friendship with Morgana. She whispered, “Did you see the king’s face? I can’t believe something actually caused all his hair to fall out!”
Morgana found herself smiling along with Gwen. “Personally, I think someone did it to him on purpose. Maybe the royal haircutter got tired of dealing with Uther’s fits all the time and just shaved it all off!”
Gwen laughed at that. “Or maybe this elusive thief stole all of his hair!”
Laughter bubbled up in Morgana’s chest. She had been doing a lot of laughing lately, and it felt good. “Speaking of the thief, apparently he was in Arthur’s room last night. You should’ve seen it, Gwen; I found Arthur hopelessly tangled in his bed canopy. Whoever this thief is, he at least has a sense of humor!”
The grin on Gwen’s face started to fade, and her laughter died on her lips. “You were in Arthur’s room last night?”
Still laughing, Morgana waved it off, “Oh, no, it wasn’t-” Abruptly, she stopped, suddenly remembering their situation. She backed away from her maid, their closeness feeling wrong.
They both stood there in silence, the real world having burst their moment of joy. Eventually Morgana cleared her throat awkwardly.
Gwen excused herself from Morgana’s presence, and both girls hurriedly walked in opposite directions.
---
Arthur received some troubling news from his father, and was forced to do something he didn’t agree with, yet again. He had grown to trust his father more in the past year, but there was still the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that reminded him that his father had done terrible things. The man was brutal when it came to sorcery, and that was evident in his most recent demand.
Arthur was forced to arrest Merlin, despite his better judgment. It was on the king’s orders, under the recommendation of Gaius. Arthur was shocked that Gaius was so quick to turn in his young apprentice. Gaius had always treated Merlin like a son in the past.
It was troubling, but Arthur did as his father asked. They arrested Merlin and brought him before the council.
Morgana sat and watched as Merlin was accused of being responsible for causing the afflictions that members of the court had suffered. Merlin tried to deny the accusations, but Gaius presented evidence.
“I found this in your room. It’s a book of spells and enchantments.” Gaius explained as he produced a book.
Morgana was shocked. She knew that Merlin had magic, but for Gaius to turn him in like this was unbelievable. She found herself remembering her sister’s warning about the people of Camelot. Perhaps she couldn’t trust them after all. Gaius knew of her magic as well, how long would it be before he turned her in, too?
Merlin was trying to prove his innocence, but his claims were ignored, and Morgana was barely listening. Arthur seemed intrigued, however, and tried to help his servant, but he was unsuccessful.
Gaius piped up, “I’ve been harboring a sorcerer, sire, and for that I apologize.”
Gaius’s admission stung, and Morgana squirmed in her seat. She faintly heard Uther sentence Merlin to death, and she caught the serving boy’s eye. She didn’t feel much of anything towards him anymore, and she couldn’t find it in her to feel pity now. He had stopped her before when she tried to save people with magic, and he would continue to thwart her sister’s plans in the future. Perhaps it would be better if he was gone. Besides, it wasn’t Morgana’s doing, and maybe this would show Arthur how wrong he had been about his beloved father.
As they dragged Merlin away, Morgana only felt the slightest twinge of sorrow. This was exactly why she needed to eliminate Uther, to stop this from happening ever again.
---
Late in the night, Guinevere awoke to the sound of someone breaking into her house. She got up and grabbed a candle, but before she could search the house, a hand covered her mouth and pulled her back.
Her screams were muffled, but she struggled against the arms holding her.
“Gwen, it’s me!”
Gwen turned around to find Merlin standing there. She wasn’t happy that he had broken in, but she was glad to see him safe. “Merlin,” she breathed. “I thought they arrested you.”
He grinned sheepishly. “I broke out.” At her disapproving glare, he continued, “I’m innocent, Gwen! It’s Gaius; he’s possessed by a goblin!”
Gwen knew that Merlin would never lie to her, and she trusted his judgment. “I believe you, Merlin. But what can we do?”
“We have to get the goblin out of Gaius.”
“What can I do?” Gwen asked.
“I need you to help convince Arthur.”
---
As morning broke, Arthur had to deliver the news that Merlin had escaped to his father. Personally, he was grateful that Merlin had broken free; he couldn’t bear to see his friend put to death.
Somehow Merlin had obtained a set of keys, and Arthur was slightly suspicious that it had been Morgana; she had done it before. When he saw her in throne room, she looked relatively uninterested, though.
He explained to his father that Merlin had escaped, constantly checking for Morgana’s reaction as he spoke, but her face remained stony.
Surprisingly, the one most bothered by the news was Gaius. He had an outburst about Merlin’s escape, blaming Arthur and calling him lazy. It was startling, and everyone fell silent until Gaius apologized for his actions.
It made Arthur highly suspicious of the older man, and he kept an eye on him even after the meeting had ended. Perhaps Merlin had been telling the truth, and Gaius truly was possessed by something evil.
In order to prove his theory, he sent for Gaius after the council, asking that the physician come to see him in his chambers.
“I believe you sent for me, sire?” Gaius asked.
Arthur pasted on a fake smile. “I wanted to thank you in person. It couldn’t have been easy for you, exposing Merlin like that.”
“My loyalty to Camelot and your father comes first,” Gaius said by means of explanation.
That was plausible, so Arthur tried another tactic. “I should also thank you for ridding me of the most incompetent, rude, and lazy servant Camelot has ever known.”
“I’m just sorry you had to deal with his ineptitude for so long.”
“Well, when we catch him, you’ll see him hang,” Arthur chirped with an air of false excitement.
Gaius smiled and replied, “I shall look forward to that.”
Arthur’s face fell. It was true. He knew for certain that this wasn’t the Gaius he had known his entire life. That man would never be so cruel as to celebrate an execution.
“Is something wrong?”
Arthur turned away. “The Gaius I know would never look forward to seeing Merlin hang, no matter what he’d done.” He drew his sword and spun towards Gaius, holding the weapon out in front of him. “Merlin was telling the truth.”
Just as Arthur moved to attack, Gaius’s eyes glowed yellow, and a pot flew across the room. The pot collided with Arthur’s head and shattered upon impact, causing Arthur to fall to the floor and lose consciousness.
Before the goblin wearing Gaius’s skin left, he cast one more spell over the sleeping prince.
---
Per Merlin’s request, Gwen went to go visit Arthur with the hopes that she could convince him to help. Part of her wished that Merlin had gone to Morgana instead; Morgana could always get Arthur to do whatever she asked, without fail. Pushing that feeling down, she gathered her courage and knocked on Arthur’s door.
When he didn’t immediately respond, Gwen tried knocking again. “Arthur?”
A faint noise came through the door, but there were no discernible words.
“Arthur?” Gwen repeated. She heard the same noise a second time. “I’m coming in.”
She entered the room cautiously, hoping that she didn’t catch the prince in the bath or something equally as embarrassing. “Arthur?” she called.
Gwen peered around the edge of the bed, finding Arthur sitting on the floor. At least, she figured it was Arthur. He had a few new developments. “Oh!” she cried, her hand flying to her chest as she gasped.
Unable to speak, Arthur just sat there looking extremely annoyed as Gwen figured out what had happened.
---
As Gwen left Arthur’s room, she bumped into Morgana as she walked by in the hallway. As Gwen brushed herself off, she apologized, “I’m sorry, my lady.”
Morgana noticed the room that Gwen had exited from and shook her head. “It’s fine,” she replied, her tone clipped.
“Morgana, you should know-”
Interrupting, Morgana put up her hands to signal Gwen to stop. “I really don’t want to know, Gwen.”
“But, Morgana…” she tried again.
“I need to go, Gwen, please-” She tried to move past the girl to continue on her way.
Blocking Morgana’s path, Gwen exploded, “Arthur’s a donkey!”
Morgana stopped her movements and took a step back, studying Gwen. “Come again?”
“Well, he has the ears. And… and the voice.” She looked as though she was torn between laughing at him and feeling pity for him. “He’s braying.”
“What?” Morgana spluttered. “You’re joking.”
Gwen shook her head. “It’s the truth.”
Morgana lifted an eyebrow, still questioning.
It was clear that Morgana needed further convincing. Gwen smiled slightly. “He might need some looking after, if you wouldn’t mind.”
“Me?” Morgana asked, surprised that Gwen would want her to be alone with Arthur.
“I have chores, and I doubt he’d want anyone else to see him this way.” Truthfully, she was busy helping Merlin stop a goblin, but she didn’t want to tell Morgana that.
Morgana chewed on her lip, debating whether or not she should help. She probably shouldn’t get involved; it never worked out when she spent too much time alone with Arthur. “I’m sure he’ll be fine, Gwen.”
Gwen shrugged, her smile still in place. “Suit yourself.” She curtsied before leaving. “Good day, my lady.”
Morgana watched as Gwen left, unable to move yet. She was interested in seeing Arthur’s new predicament, and it would probably be enjoyable to make fun of him at least. She blew out a breath in irritation. Her curiosity had gotten the best of her. She’d just go for a minute, and then she would leave.
Checking to make sure that no one was watching, she ducked into Arthur’s room, quietly shutting the door behind her. The room seemed empty, and she wondered for a moment if Gwen had been lying. “Arthur?” she called.
A grunt could be heard from the other side of the bed, and Morgana walked closer to the sound. She came around the corner of the bed and nearly fell over from the sight in front of her. She burst into laughter, using the post from the bed to hold her up as she cackled.
Gwen definitely hadn’t lied. Arthur had huge furry ears like that of a donkey, and he looked extremely upset about it.
Morgana couldn’t contain herself; this was even funnier than the state she had found him in the other night.
Arthur brayed angrily in protest of Morgana’s laughter, which only made the situation worse.
Her laughter increased in volume, and she collapsed to her knees in front of Arthur. He continued to bray, and Morgana could just imagine him yelling at her like usual. Taking a few deep steadying breaths, she contained her laughter for his sake. He looked so pathetic, she felt bad for him.
“Sorry,” she murmured.
He snorted in response.
Morgana adjusted her skirts and tucked her legs under her, leaning back against the bed. Now that she had settled, it was easier to get a good look at Arthur. She swallowed the laughter that threatened to start up again. “You know,” she stated, “I think I rather like you like this.”
Arthur glared at her.
She smirked back at him. “I mean, other than the ears. You can’t talk, so for once you won’t be able to annoy me.”
He let out a long bray, as if to contradict her statement, which only made Morgana roll her eyes.
She cocked her head at him, scanning over his body. “You don’t have a tail under there, do you?” She reached a hand out towards him, intrigued.
Arthur snapped his teeth at her hand, causing her to pull it back.
“Is that a no?” Morgana asked.
Arthur made an angry sound, or at least as angry a sound as a donkey could make, and Morgana stopped asking questions.
They sat in silence for a long while, and Morgana stared out the window to pass the time. It eventually occurred to her that this would be a good time to say her piece about everything that had happened, since Arthur would be unable to speak, and therefore unable to make her mad and ultimately ruin her speech like he normally would. She glanced over at him, finding that he was still sulking.
He caught her staring and lifted an eyebrow, wordlessly asking her what she wanted.
Gathering her nerve, she launched into the speech she had been going over in her head every night since she had returned. “I wanted to tell you,” she took a breath, “that I was sorry.”
It was obvious from his face that he didn’t understand.
“I’m sorry for so much. For leaving you…” She noticed his eyes darken when she said this, and she knew that he wasn’t confused anymore. She continued, “For not having the courage to tell you that I was alive.”
His face twisted into an unpleasant visage, as though he was reliving the memories.
She dropped her gaze, unable to look at him. “I wanted to tell you, at first. I missed you… so much, Arthur.” Biting down on her lip, she forced back the tears that pricked at her eyes. “I just… I…” she trailed off.
Arthur’s expression softened a little, but his eyes were still dark, like the sea after a storm.
Shutting her eyes tightly, she went on, her voice trembling. “It was easier to let you go, I think. You meant too much to me, and you expected too much; if you had known, I would’ve had to fight harder to come back, to be who you wanted, and I wasn’t that strong.”
She slowly looked back up at him. “That wasn’t fair, I know that. I was selfish, and scared. You deserved more than that.”
Arthur’s arm twitched, he longed to reach out and touch her, but his brain was forcing him to hold still.
“You still deserve more,” she admitted. Brushing at her eyes, she finished, “I just wanted you to know how sorry I am, for everything.”
He opened his mouth and tried to speak, but it came out as a bray just like the rest.
Morgana gave him a watery smile and bent over to lightly kiss his cheek. As she leaned back, she stroked his furry ear and a broken sounding laugh rumbled in her chest. She stood up, moving back and leaving him on the floor. “I’ll be sure to tell someone to come and fix…” she waved her hand over him, “This.”
He was still too stunned by her speech to properly react, so he just nodded numbly.
Morgana tried to smile, but it hurt too much and she turned and left before she completely broke down.
---
Over the next few days, everything in Camelot went back to normal. Merlin and Gwen successfully captured the goblin, and saved Gaius as well. Merlin was cleared of all charges, and the goblin was locked away somewhere safe. All the enchantments were broken, and all the afflictions healed.
The stolen items were found in Gaius’s chambers and returned to the proper owners. Merlin brought the chest of gold back to Arthur’s room for him and set it on the table.
Arthur opened the box, doubling checking that everything was there.
“Worried that I stole something, sire?” Merlin joked.
Arthur shook his head, not bothering with a witty retort.
Merlin watched Arthur with concern in his eyes, the prince had been oddly quiet ever since they had removed the enchantment on him and returned him to normal. “Are you alright?”
Arthur continued to sift through the coins. “Fine,” he replied disinterestedly.
Merlin rolled his eyes. It was glaringly obvious that Arthur was lying, but he wasn’t going to push it.
As Arthur picked up a handful of coins, he noticed something out of place in the box. There was a necklace of some sort at the bottom, and he reached for it. He pulled out a white gold chain, and with it, a silver ring that hung on it. It dangled from one of his fingers, and he stared at it, recognition washing over him.
Merlin noticed Arthur’s strange behavior and walked over to inspect the ring as well. “Oh, good, you found it.”
Merlin’s words broke Arthur’s fixation with the ring and he looked up at his manservant.
Merlin explained, “Morgana was looking for it.” Sensing Arthur’s interest in the subject, Merlin knowingly added, “She seemed rather upset about losing it.”
Arthur took the new information in and nodded his head. “I should return it, then.”
“You should,” Merlin agreed.
---
Morgana was busying herself by reorganizing her closet for the fifth time when a knock came at her door. She dropped the dress she was holding and spun around to face the door, worried about who was on the other side.
The knocking came again, this time accompanied by a voice. “Morgana, I know you’re in there.”
She sighed heavily. “I’m busy, Arthur.”
“Morgana.” He uttered her name like a warning. He was going to come in whether she wanted it or not.
Reluctantly, Morgana walked over to the door and opened it a fraction, just enough to see his face. “What do you want, Arthur?”
“I have something of yours,” he answered.
Taking a step back, she opened the door enough to let him inside the room.
Once Arthur was inside, he turned to Morgana and held out his closed fist. Before she could comment, he relaxed his fingers and let the ring slide out of his hand. He kept the end of the chain in his palm to keep it from falling.
Morgana let out a small gasp.
“I believe you were looking for this,” Arthur remarked.
She nodded. “Where did you find it?”
“The goblin had stolen it. He must’ve liked the gold chain.”
Morgana found herself nodding again, unable to do much more. Her voice kept getting caught in her throat, and she didn’t trust herself to speak.
Arthur shook his head, chuckling quietly to himself. “You kept it.”
Morgana bit her bottom lip, nodding a third time.
He held his arm out to her, offering back the ring.
Morgana couldn’t move her arm to take it back. “It was yours,” she mumbled. “You can have it back.”
He knew her well enough to know when she was lying. She wanted the ring, he could tell. He considered keeping it, but the thought of giving it to anyone else seemed wrong. Guinevere was wonderful, and he cared for her, but this ring, it would always belong to Morgana. With his free hand, he reached down and gently grabbed Morgana’s wrist. He pulled up her hand and turned it over so her palm was open.
Morgana watched him curiously as he placed the ring in her hand. He carefully closed her fingers over the trinket before he let go.
“It looks better on you.” He smiled at her before turning to open the door. He glanced back one more time before slipping out of the room.
Morgana stood there for several minutes, too stunned to properly function. She didn’t want to get her hopes up, but this seemed like a step in the right direction. Maybe things could get back to normal, after all.
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