вавилонский голландец длительный new Babylon Dutch redrafted pt.1

[wytchcroft]

Comments

[aliasse]

Love it. So atmospheric. Full of mystery and moments of crytal clarity. Falk is very engaging.

You use punctuation differently from me. (Remember your feedback to me, that was about punctuation too.) You use commas as a harder stop than I do - often I'm expecting a full stop instead. And don't make any puns about that, I mean it (scary primary teacher's frown).

[wytchcroft]

hope so, it just took an hour and a half to load properly, i
hope you didn't read a frakked up version, it kept loading just bits of it.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback, it's helpful and i try to put suggestions to good use and i really appreciate you reading the same thing (more or less) twice over.

you rule:))

[aliasse]

I teach my poor, tiny, hapless pupils as they chafe against the ties that bind them to their little tables that punctuation is used to show the relationship between ideas. They really get that.

[wytchcroft]

thanks - i'll bear that in mind, writing's not my natural forte so the punctuation tends to be like amateur house building...

[betsycontent]

very well written! looking forward to more! :))) it sounds as though you have been to sea -- have you?

[wytchcroft]

thanks indeed:)))
- this just took an hour and a half to load - i hope it's all here!

[betsycontent]

that seems an awfully long time for text. :p

[wytchcroft]

i should be laughing really, but considering the absolute bloody nightmare this story already turned out to be - i can only manage a rueful shrug.

[mr_stapleton]

oh, it's really great! i enjoyed the mood, i've been totally lost in your sea :))
i have to thank you in my journal, dear wytch!
yours,
s.

[wytchcroft]

thanks my friend:))