You're a beautiful woman. And yes, you can stick up for yourself, but as I have learned, occassionally having someone take care of you doesn't make you any less strong. I still have problems accepting help (or a compliment) gracefully but I am learning.
as I have learned, occassionally having someone take care of you doesn't make you any less strong.
It's a tough lesson to learn sometimes, but it's an important one. :) It's nice to hear this coming from you... back in the day, I would occasionally feel some concern about you in that regard.
I do not intend any offense here, but I am trying to understand more about what sorts of consideration people who are transgender, or in other ways different from myself, prefer.
Reading the blogs of different people has been very educational in this regard as there are lots of ways I might have unintentionally given offense if I hadn't read about how to avoid it here.
This situation is a bit confusing to me, but it also sheds some light on the subject. I think in some situations, I might have done something like what the woman did, thinking that asking directly would have been rude. In fact, I am a little worried that I am treading on thin ice even with this. And yet, the alternative would be to say nothing and avoid situations where I don't know the polite/right thing to do.
Could not the woman have been attempting to avoid giving offense? Hence the clumsy attempt to discretely ask someone else rather than risk embarrassing you unnecessarily by asking - or by guessing wrongly? It's hard to tell from the context.
People almost always want to be treated as the gender they are presenting, so the best thing is just to go with that. In the case in point, I was wearing a purple skirt and a flowery, cornflower blue blouse at the time, and holding out a dress. That's about as unambiguous as I get. :)
However, if there's real confusion, yeah, asking a person's gender is a good idea. But ask directly. No one likes being spoken of as though they weren't there--it's rude, and it tends to feel as though you're being considered as less than a person. People treat kids that way, and they generally don't like it, either. :)
Maybe this woman was just clueless, and maybe she did have the best intentions. I dunno. All I have is how she came across.
Honestly, feel free to ask anything at all, any time. I really, really like talking about trans issues especially.
LOL. I understand now. I thought there might be something like that to it, but, like I said, it wasn't clear in the context. I've been in some places where they don't separate genders for changing (Target). It was a little startling at first to see a guy walking by but then I got to thinking how convenient it would be
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And so are you.
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So are you, y'know. :) ((big hugs))
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You're a beautiful woman. And yes, you can stick up for yourself, but as I have learned, occassionally having someone take care of you doesn't make you any less strong. I still have problems accepting help (or a compliment) gracefully but I am learning.
Reply
It's a tough lesson to learn sometimes, but it's an important one. :) It's nice to hear this coming from you... back in the day, I would occasionally feel some concern about you in that regard.
((hugs))
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I hope she was embarrassed.
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I love you. I love that you are surrounded by people who love you.
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Thanks, love. I appreciate your comment, and I appreciate you.
((hugs))
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Reading the blogs of different people has been very educational in this regard as there are lots of ways I might have unintentionally given offense if I hadn't read about how to avoid it here.
This situation is a bit confusing to me, but it also sheds some light on the subject. I think in some situations, I might have done something like what the woman did, thinking that asking directly would have been rude. In fact, I am a little worried that I am treading on thin ice even with this. And yet, the alternative would be to say nothing and avoid situations where I don't know the polite/right thing to do.
Could not the woman have been attempting to avoid giving offense? Hence the clumsy attempt to discretely ask someone else rather than risk embarrassing you unnecessarily by asking - or by guessing wrongly? It's hard to tell from the context.
Reply
People almost always want to be treated as the gender they are presenting, so the best thing is just to go with that. In the case in point, I was wearing a purple skirt and a flowery, cornflower blue blouse at the time, and holding out a dress. That's about as unambiguous as I get. :)
However, if there's real confusion, yeah, asking a person's gender is a good idea. But ask directly. No one likes being spoken of as though they weren't there--it's rude, and it tends to feel as though you're being considered as less than a person. People treat kids that way, and they generally don't like it, either. :)
Maybe this woman was just clueless, and maybe she did have the best intentions. I dunno. All I have is how she came across.
Honestly, feel free to ask anything at all, any time. I really, really like talking about trans issues especially.
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