3 Gender TV Tropes Amber Wasn't In (+1 she is)
Title: 3 Gender TV Tropes Amber Wasn't In (+1 she is)
Pairings: Henber, Keyber?, ninja!Taoris
Genre: humour
Rating: PG-13 for Yixing's innuendo
Summary: based on tvtropes.org and Amber's tomboy concept
1. Sweet Polly Oliver i.e. Hua Mulan
“You’re insane!” Song Qian hisses frantically as Liu Yiyun polishes her father’s old sword. “How could a girl join the army?”
“My father couldn’t possibly go to war at his age.” Yiyun says calmly, giving the sword a practice swing with far too much ease for a girl. “And my younger brother was too young.”
“Still, it’s unthinkable for a girl-” Song Qian stops when Yiyun gives her a pointed look. “I’m only here because they needed women to help with the cooking and cleaning, and my family needs the money.”
“Look, just keep it to yourself, alright?” Yiyun’s expression is deadly serious. “They will have me and my family executed if they find out.” Song Qian nods reluctantly, and is about to speak when they hear the familiar babble of conversation nearing the tent. “You’d better go.”
Song Qian slips out, but not without being seen by the other inhabitants of Yiyun’s tent. One of them whistles cheekily and strides into the tent to see Yiyun diligently polishing her sword. “So that’s what you were getting up to, eh?”
“Shut up, Yixing.” She pitches her voice as low as possible. “Where have you guys been?”
“Training with some of the soldiers from the third division.” He replies, sitting down on his pallet. “I lost to my opponent, but Huang Zitao beat his in record time.”
Zitao tries not to look too pleased at the compliment, and fails miserably.
“Not all of us are so fortunate as to have been trained by Shaolin monks since childhood.” Zhou Mi smiles ironically, earning a nonchalant shrug from the young boy.
“General Wu was seriously impressed.” Yixing continues. “Looks like he’ll be calling someone to his tent tonight.”
Zitao flushes with embarrassment and Yiyun smacks Yixing lightly with her belt. “That’s disgusting.”
Yixing grins wickedly. “We don’t all have your way with the women, Yiyun. Besides, Tao would be lucky to have that stoic lieutenant’s favour, though he looks like the kind who’d like to be in charge even under the sheets, if you get my meaning.”
Then he notices the tensed expressions on the other’s faces, and turns around slowly to see the general standing at the tent opening. “General Wu.” They all stand up hastily.
“Recruit Zhang, you’re on latrine duty.”
He isn’t, but he takes the punishment quietly, thankful that the general is going easy on him.
“Recruit Huang, good work out there today. I expect even better results when we meet the enemy on the battlefield.”
“Yes, sir!” Zitao bows.
“Recruit Zhou, I want you to have a try at archery tomorrow.”
Zhou Mi bows sharply as well, though he’s even taller than the general when he straightens up. “Yes, sir.”
“Recruit Liu, I hear that you were the least abysmal of your division at sword practice this morning.” General Wu sounds a little skeptical at his own statement as he scrutinizes her appearance, making Yiyun feel like squirming. Two weeks in the army, and she’s still getting used to being observed by men all around.
“Thank you, sir.” Yiyun bows her head, privately thinking that it isn’t too hard to beat a bunch of boys who have never picked up a sword in their life before being dragged into this war. She wonders how on earth China is going to win the war. And while she hasn’t fought Zitao yet, she knows that he’s more comfortable with a wooden staff or his hands rather than a blade.
“Tomorrow you spar with me.” And with that concluding statement, General Wu turns on his heel and strides away.
All of the colour promptly drains out of her face. “What?” She asks faintly.
“I hope he doesn’t kill you.” Yixing says seriously.
2. Wholesome Crossdresser i.e. Ouran High School Host Club
Damn these rich kids and their expensive tastes and the utter foreign nature of instant ramyun to them, Amber grumbles to herself. She encountered instant noodles within a week of coming to this place, and she’s not even Korean.
As in, she’s an American Taiwanese Chinese, who had to move to Seoul because her dad got transferred, and the company was willing to pay for her to attend this stupid posh international school full of stupid posh rich kids who have never had instant ramyun or three-in-one instant coffee before.
Amber pauses in her mental rant and reminds herself not to mention instant coffee. She ruffles her short messy hair in frustration and pushes the door open.
“There you are, Amber!” Choi Siwon exclaims with large hand gestures. “We were beginning to worry that you had gotten lost on your quest, weren’t we, Kyuhyun?”
“Indeed.” The bespectacled boy nods in agreement, though Amber can see the evil quirk of his mouth. Damn him and his calculator and her debt to the host club. What kind of school even has a host club, anyway?
“Where’s the instant ramyun?” Donghae bounds over to her and grabs the plastic bag.
“Let me see!” Eunhyuk joins him, twin looks of excitement on their faces.
“I’m not sure I want to try it.” Sungmin pouts adorably, clutching his pink bunny to his chest. Amber struggles between the desire to squish his cheeks and to strangle him. “It doesn’t sound as nice as cake.”
Zhou Mi shrugs. “I think we should be open to new experiences, especially when it comes to food, hyung.” He observes as Amber proceeds to boil the noodles for them to try.
“He’ll make a wonderful addition to our host club!” Siwon enthuses. “With such a pathetic and cute image, and those girly lips and smooth skin! The ladies will be lining up to dine with him!”
“You do realise Amber-ssi is a girl, right?” Ryeowook points out.
Siwon’s eyebrows shoot up dramatically as he stares hard at the new student. “WHAT? But- but… he looks like Donghae’s brother!”
“Idiot.” Donghae and Eunhyuk chorus before digging into the ramyun.
“SHE’S DRESSED LIKE US BOYS.” Siwon gestures wildly at Amber’s uniform.
“I can’t afford your overpriced uniform, alright?” Amber snaps. “These are modified from my own clothes.”
“You can’t afford…” Siwon nearly has a heart attack.
“Would you like us to buy you a girl’s uniform, Amber?” Sungmin asks sweetly.
“And add to my billion won debt?” She retorts, glaring at Kyuhyun who shrugs guilelessly. “Thanks, but no thanks.”
3. Freaky Friday Flip i.e. It’s a Boy Girl Thing
“OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?” Kibum cries in horror as he stares down at the body that isn’t his. “I HAVE BOOBS.” He stumbles over to the mirror to see a horribly familiar face.
He runs to the window and looks through to the neighbouring house to see his body sleeping peacefully on his bed. He grabs the phone and quickly dials his own number.
“What’s up?” A groggy voice greets him.
“You need to get up and look out the window now!”
Amber groans at the diva and complies, only to realise what Kibum has discovered not one minute ago. “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?” She yells at him through the phone and the windows.
“I DON’T KNOW, YOU TELL ME!”
“I’m a boy!” She automatically gropes down there, earning an inarticulate shriek from the boy currently inhabiting her body. “At least I’m a girly boy.” She reminds herself as a consolation.
“And you’re actually as flat as a washboard.” Kibum scoffs, poking at the less-than-impressive chest of Amber’s.
It’s kind of disconcerting to see his body shrug like that. “Whatever. I wouldn’t be so hasty to insult the inhabitant of your precious body if I were you. Which I am. Kind of.”
“What are you talking about?”
“For starters, I’m not carrying that god-awful pink bag of yours.” She heads over to his wardrobe, the phone cradled between her ear and shoulder. “You must have something manlier in here. Maybe I’ll go over and get my satchel.”
Kibum gapes in horror. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“And then maybe later I’ll go up to the class president Lee Jinki and confess to liking him.”
“That’s insane, I don’t like that nerd!” Kibum huffs, moving over to Amber’s cupboard. “You do that and I’ll make you look like a slob!”
“I am a slob, Kibum.” Amber replies dryly while grimacing at an eyelash curler. Why the hell does a boy need an eyelash curler?
“Then I’ll dress you up like a girly girl!”
“We wear a school uniform.”
“That doesn’t mean I can’t make you look like a bimbo.” Kibum threatens, only then realising that Amber doesn’t own a single bit of makeup. “Following which I’ll flirt with that disgusting boy who sits at the back of our class and picks his nose.”
After a few more threats and insults, the two manage to agree not to significantly ruin the other’s life while they figure out why they’ve suddenly switched bodies.
+1. Lady Looks Like a Dude i.e. f(x) Amber
“Hey dude, wanna go to the gym before dinner?”
“Argh!” Amber hangs up on Henry without so much as a ‘no thanks, mochi’.
Henry stares at his phone in bewilderment, and then picks another number. “Hey, do you know what’s up with Amber?”
Krystal rolls her eyes. “She’s pissed because there are netizens who think she’s a boy. Or, ironically, maybe it’s that time of the month.”
“Ew.” Henry grimaces, because that just brings unwelcome images to mind. “Doesn't she already know that?”
“Well, we just got back from an interview on Mnet Wide Open Studio, and they asked her about that article on her ‘manner hands’ with Taetiseo. And yes, she clarified her true gender for all the viewers to hear.”
“Sounds like the straw that broke the llama’s back.” Henry quips.
“Funny. Try starting with that the next time you call her. She might appreciate it.” Krystal deadpans. “Though I’d give her an hour to cool down. See you, oppa.”
Henry wonders why Luna is the only one in f(x) who ever bothers to wait for him to say goodbye before hanging up.
Two hours later, when Amber is just feeling bad enough for snapping at the girls, and Henry and Zhou Mi over the phone - because really, Zhou Mi is like a sad puppy whenever someone’s mad - she hears a knock on the door.
“Yes?” She opens the door to see her four fellow bandmates at the door. “Hey.”
“Are you feeling better?” Luna asks hopefully.
“Yeah.” Amber runs a hand through her hair sheepishly. “I’m sorry for being so moody and taking it out on you girls.”
“That’s okay.” Victoria smiles kindly.
“Aa-and, we’re here to help you!” Sulli grins mischievously. Amber gets an uneasy feeling in her stomach.
Half an hour later, someone knocks on her door again. Amber huffs in annoyance as she strides towards the door and yanks it open.
“Jiejie, I told you I’m fine-” She stops mid-sentence when she sees Henry there. “Oh, what are you doing here?” It comes out a little harsher than she intends, and she winces. “Sorry for… earlier.”
“No problem, ma’am.” Henry mock-salutes her, and then blinks as he takes in her outfit. “Wow.”
Amber grimaces, feeling stupid in the girly clothes she’d been forced to wear for no apparent reason by her bandmates. And Krystal had just stood there taking photos with her phone, the traitor, she mentally grumbles. “Not one word.”
“You clean up good, girl.” He grins unrepentantly. “Are we still on for dinner?”
“Um, sure. I just need to get my phone and wallet.” She goes back to get her stuff, unaware of Henry sending Victoria a conspiratorial wink and nod.
“Krystal told me what happened today.” He informs her as they walk side by side.
Amber shrugs. “It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. And I know it’s my concept. It’s just annoying sometimes.”
Henry opens the door of the lobby for her, grandly gesturing for her to walk through first. “Well, if anyone knows how to treat a girl like a lady, it’s me.”
Amber laughs. “Shut up, man.” She aims a friendly punch at him, but he catches her wrist in a surprisingly strong grip and she nearly loses her balance due to momentum.
In that moment, there’s something about his expression that reminds her that Henry is four inches taller than her, a great deal more muscular, and one hundred per cent male. It’s weird and disconcerting, and perhaps a little chauvinist, but it makes her feel like a girl.
Then he smiles brightly, “Come on, Ber, let’s go,” and pulls her along by the hand.
She lets him.
**
A/N: this was meant to be 5 tv tropes, but I realised I already addressed one (Half-Identical Twins) in my previous fic If Music Be the Food of Love, and then I got really lazy and couldn't think of anything else to write. I wish someone would write a Mulan Amber fic...
Please comment - I love all comments!
Pairings: Henber, Keyber?, ninja!Taoris
Genre: humour
Rating: PG-13 for Yixing's innuendo
Summary: based on tvtropes.org and Amber's tomboy concept
1. Sweet Polly Oliver i.e. Hua Mulan
“You’re insane!” Song Qian hisses frantically as Liu Yiyun polishes her father’s old sword. “How could a girl join the army?”
“My father couldn’t possibly go to war at his age.” Yiyun says calmly, giving the sword a practice swing with far too much ease for a girl. “And my younger brother was too young.”
“Still, it’s unthinkable for a girl-” Song Qian stops when Yiyun gives her a pointed look. “I’m only here because they needed women to help with the cooking and cleaning, and my family needs the money.”
“Look, just keep it to yourself, alright?” Yiyun’s expression is deadly serious. “They will have me and my family executed if they find out.” Song Qian nods reluctantly, and is about to speak when they hear the familiar babble of conversation nearing the tent. “You’d better go.”
Song Qian slips out, but not without being seen by the other inhabitants of Yiyun’s tent. One of them whistles cheekily and strides into the tent to see Yiyun diligently polishing her sword. “So that’s what you were getting up to, eh?”
“Shut up, Yixing.” She pitches her voice as low as possible. “Where have you guys been?”
“Training with some of the soldiers from the third division.” He replies, sitting down on his pallet. “I lost to my opponent, but Huang Zitao beat his in record time.”
Zitao tries not to look too pleased at the compliment, and fails miserably.
“Not all of us are so fortunate as to have been trained by Shaolin monks since childhood.” Zhou Mi smiles ironically, earning a nonchalant shrug from the young boy.
“General Wu was seriously impressed.” Yixing continues. “Looks like he’ll be calling someone to his tent tonight.”
Zitao flushes with embarrassment and Yiyun smacks Yixing lightly with her belt. “That’s disgusting.”
Yixing grins wickedly. “We don’t all have your way with the women, Yiyun. Besides, Tao would be lucky to have that stoic lieutenant’s favour, though he looks like the kind who’d like to be in charge even under the sheets, if you get my meaning.”
Then he notices the tensed expressions on the other’s faces, and turns around slowly to see the general standing at the tent opening. “General Wu.” They all stand up hastily.
“Recruit Zhang, you’re on latrine duty.”
He isn’t, but he takes the punishment quietly, thankful that the general is going easy on him.
“Recruit Huang, good work out there today. I expect even better results when we meet the enemy on the battlefield.”
“Yes, sir!” Zitao bows.
“Recruit Zhou, I want you to have a try at archery tomorrow.”
Zhou Mi bows sharply as well, though he’s even taller than the general when he straightens up. “Yes, sir.”
“Recruit Liu, I hear that you were the least abysmal of your division at sword practice this morning.” General Wu sounds a little skeptical at his own statement as he scrutinizes her appearance, making Yiyun feel like squirming. Two weeks in the army, and she’s still getting used to being observed by men all around.
“Thank you, sir.” Yiyun bows her head, privately thinking that it isn’t too hard to beat a bunch of boys who have never picked up a sword in their life before being dragged into this war. She wonders how on earth China is going to win the war. And while she hasn’t fought Zitao yet, she knows that he’s more comfortable with a wooden staff or his hands rather than a blade.
“Tomorrow you spar with me.” And with that concluding statement, General Wu turns on his heel and strides away.
All of the colour promptly drains out of her face. “What?” She asks faintly.
“I hope he doesn’t kill you.” Yixing says seriously.
2. Wholesome Crossdresser i.e. Ouran High School Host Club
Damn these rich kids and their expensive tastes and the utter foreign nature of instant ramyun to them, Amber grumbles to herself. She encountered instant noodles within a week of coming to this place, and she’s not even Korean.
As in, she’s an American Taiwanese Chinese, who had to move to Seoul because her dad got transferred, and the company was willing to pay for her to attend this stupid posh international school full of stupid posh rich kids who have never had instant ramyun or three-in-one instant coffee before.
Amber pauses in her mental rant and reminds herself not to mention instant coffee. She ruffles her short messy hair in frustration and pushes the door open.
“There you are, Amber!” Choi Siwon exclaims with large hand gestures. “We were beginning to worry that you had gotten lost on your quest, weren’t we, Kyuhyun?”
“Indeed.” The bespectacled boy nods in agreement, though Amber can see the evil quirk of his mouth. Damn him and his calculator and her debt to the host club. What kind of school even has a host club, anyway?
“Where’s the instant ramyun?” Donghae bounds over to her and grabs the plastic bag.
“Let me see!” Eunhyuk joins him, twin looks of excitement on their faces.
“I’m not sure I want to try it.” Sungmin pouts adorably, clutching his pink bunny to his chest. Amber struggles between the desire to squish his cheeks and to strangle him. “It doesn’t sound as nice as cake.”
Zhou Mi shrugs. “I think we should be open to new experiences, especially when it comes to food, hyung.” He observes as Amber proceeds to boil the noodles for them to try.
“He’ll make a wonderful addition to our host club!” Siwon enthuses. “With such a pathetic and cute image, and those girly lips and smooth skin! The ladies will be lining up to dine with him!”
“You do realise Amber-ssi is a girl, right?” Ryeowook points out.
Siwon’s eyebrows shoot up dramatically as he stares hard at the new student. “WHAT? But- but… he looks like Donghae’s brother!”
“Idiot.” Donghae and Eunhyuk chorus before digging into the ramyun.
“SHE’S DRESSED LIKE US BOYS.” Siwon gestures wildly at Amber’s uniform.
“I can’t afford your overpriced uniform, alright?” Amber snaps. “These are modified from my own clothes.”
“You can’t afford…” Siwon nearly has a heart attack.
“Would you like us to buy you a girl’s uniform, Amber?” Sungmin asks sweetly.
“And add to my billion won debt?” She retorts, glaring at Kyuhyun who shrugs guilelessly. “Thanks, but no thanks.”
3. Freaky Friday Flip i.e. It’s a Boy Girl Thing
“OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?” Kibum cries in horror as he stares down at the body that isn’t his. “I HAVE BOOBS.” He stumbles over to the mirror to see a horribly familiar face.
He runs to the window and looks through to the neighbouring house to see his body sleeping peacefully on his bed. He grabs the phone and quickly dials his own number.
“What’s up?” A groggy voice greets him.
“You need to get up and look out the window now!”
Amber groans at the diva and complies, only to realise what Kibum has discovered not one minute ago. “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?” She yells at him through the phone and the windows.
“I DON’T KNOW, YOU TELL ME!”
“I’m a boy!” She automatically gropes down there, earning an inarticulate shriek from the boy currently inhabiting her body. “At least I’m a girly boy.” She reminds herself as a consolation.
“And you’re actually as flat as a washboard.” Kibum scoffs, poking at the less-than-impressive chest of Amber’s.
It’s kind of disconcerting to see his body shrug like that. “Whatever. I wouldn’t be so hasty to insult the inhabitant of your precious body if I were you. Which I am. Kind of.”
“What are you talking about?”
“For starters, I’m not carrying that god-awful pink bag of yours.” She heads over to his wardrobe, the phone cradled between her ear and shoulder. “You must have something manlier in here. Maybe I’ll go over and get my satchel.”
Kibum gapes in horror. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“And then maybe later I’ll go up to the class president Lee Jinki and confess to liking him.”
“That’s insane, I don’t like that nerd!” Kibum huffs, moving over to Amber’s cupboard. “You do that and I’ll make you look like a slob!”
“I am a slob, Kibum.” Amber replies dryly while grimacing at an eyelash curler. Why the hell does a boy need an eyelash curler?
“Then I’ll dress you up like a girly girl!”
“We wear a school uniform.”
“That doesn’t mean I can’t make you look like a bimbo.” Kibum threatens, only then realising that Amber doesn’t own a single bit of makeup. “Following which I’ll flirt with that disgusting boy who sits at the back of our class and picks his nose.”
After a few more threats and insults, the two manage to agree not to significantly ruin the other’s life while they figure out why they’ve suddenly switched bodies.
+1. Lady Looks Like a Dude i.e. f(x) Amber
“Hey dude, wanna go to the gym before dinner?”
“Argh!” Amber hangs up on Henry without so much as a ‘no thanks, mochi’.
Henry stares at his phone in bewilderment, and then picks another number. “Hey, do you know what’s up with Amber?”
Krystal rolls her eyes. “She’s pissed because there are netizens who think she’s a boy. Or, ironically, maybe it’s that time of the month.”
“Ew.” Henry grimaces, because that just brings unwelcome images to mind. “Doesn't she already know that?”
“Well, we just got back from an interview on Mnet Wide Open Studio, and they asked her about that article on her ‘manner hands’ with Taetiseo. And yes, she clarified her true gender for all the viewers to hear.”
“Sounds like the straw that broke the llama’s back.” Henry quips.
“Funny. Try starting with that the next time you call her. She might appreciate it.” Krystal deadpans. “Though I’d give her an hour to cool down. See you, oppa.”
Henry wonders why Luna is the only one in f(x) who ever bothers to wait for him to say goodbye before hanging up.
Two hours later, when Amber is just feeling bad enough for snapping at the girls, and Henry and Zhou Mi over the phone - because really, Zhou Mi is like a sad puppy whenever someone’s mad - she hears a knock on the door.
“Yes?” She opens the door to see her four fellow bandmates at the door. “Hey.”
“Are you feeling better?” Luna asks hopefully.
“Yeah.” Amber runs a hand through her hair sheepishly. “I’m sorry for being so moody and taking it out on you girls.”
“That’s okay.” Victoria smiles kindly.
“Aa-and, we’re here to help you!” Sulli grins mischievously. Amber gets an uneasy feeling in her stomach.
Half an hour later, someone knocks on her door again. Amber huffs in annoyance as she strides towards the door and yanks it open.
“Jiejie, I told you I’m fine-” She stops mid-sentence when she sees Henry there. “Oh, what are you doing here?” It comes out a little harsher than she intends, and she winces. “Sorry for… earlier.”
“No problem, ma’am.” Henry mock-salutes her, and then blinks as he takes in her outfit. “Wow.”
Amber grimaces, feeling stupid in the girly clothes she’d been forced to wear for no apparent reason by her bandmates. And Krystal had just stood there taking photos with her phone, the traitor, she mentally grumbles. “Not one word.”
“You clean up good, girl.” He grins unrepentantly. “Are we still on for dinner?”
“Um, sure. I just need to get my phone and wallet.” She goes back to get her stuff, unaware of Henry sending Victoria a conspiratorial wink and nod.
“Krystal told me what happened today.” He informs her as they walk side by side.
Amber shrugs. “It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. And I know it’s my concept. It’s just annoying sometimes.”
Henry opens the door of the lobby for her, grandly gesturing for her to walk through first. “Well, if anyone knows how to treat a girl like a lady, it’s me.”
Amber laughs. “Shut up, man.” She aims a friendly punch at him, but he catches her wrist in a surprisingly strong grip and she nearly loses her balance due to momentum.
In that moment, there’s something about his expression that reminds her that Henry is four inches taller than her, a great deal more muscular, and one hundred per cent male. It’s weird and disconcerting, and perhaps a little chauvinist, but it makes her feel like a girl.
Then he smiles brightly, “Come on, Ber, let’s go,” and pulls her along by the hand.
She lets him.
**
A/N: this was meant to be 5 tv tropes, but I realised I already addressed one (Half-Identical Twins) in my previous fic If Music Be the Food of Love, and then I got really lazy and couldn't think of anything else to write. I wish someone would write a Mulan Amber fic...
Please comment - I love all comments!