2nd posted fic
Title: Yesung is Kim Jong Il’s Son?
Pairings: bandfic
Rating: G
Genre: humour, crack
A/N: this is based on the Swiss article writing that Yesung was Kim Jong Il's son. I don't mean to offend anyone by this fic, it's purely stupid crack.
beta reader: the wonderful ricecakestar
Disclaimer: I WISH I owned Super Junior.
Really, it had seemed to be a normal day, as far as Yesung was concerned, as he sipped from his coffee mug.
He was just happy that they didn’t have to perform another rendition of Sorry, Sorry on Inkigayo that night, because his throat was seriously starting to hurt, and he felt relatively at peace with the world.
So much in fact, that he barely raised an eyebrow when Donghae entered the dining room, tried to pretend he wasn’t staring at the older boy, and then ran out of the room again, shrieking for Eunhyuk.
Later in the morning, he was casually strolling down the corridor when he saw Siwon and Ryeowook coming in the opposite direction, and they seemed to be discussing something in earnest. He merely wished them a good morning, and was replied by twin looks of sadness, Siwon shaking his head with something that resembled reproach, while Ryeowook heaved a sigh and blinked those large eyes of his. Yesung frowned to himself, but carried on his way.
The thirteen of them were in the living room that afternoon, ostensibly watching a performance of DBSK in Japan. But the tension in the room was so thick, Yesung was starting to get seriously freaked out. No one said anything to him, but furtive looks were being thrown his way.
It was only when Heechul slapped him on the back and asked him “how he’d managed to hide it for so long” that his curiosity couldn’t take it any longer and he burst out, “What the hell is going on around here?”
Before he knew it, the living room had been reassembled into some sort of makeshift courtroom, and he was being forcibly held in place by Kangin, who appeared to be enjoying his role as the police officer.
“Look guys, this is really funny, but would someone just tell me what-”
“SILENCE.” Shindong banged the plastic mallet on the sofa cushion he was using for a gavel, the small instrument producing a squeaky sound. He looked at Eeteuk, who nodded happily.
“Today the court has gathered to decide the fate of our member Yesung, based on the following charges made against him.”
Yesung’s eyes nearly popped out in disbelief. “Charges?”
Eeteuk nodded again, and looked at a scrap of paper with something scribbled on it in pencil.
“The accused is charged of being Kim Jong Il’s son and heir to the rule over North Korea. I’m disappointed in you, Yesung.” He shook his head sadly at the other boy, who could only gape in shock.
“WHAT?”
Shindong banged the purple mallet again, and pointed it at Eunhyuk. “Prosecutor, you may begin your case now.” Eunhyuk rose and turned to address the rest of them.
“Members of the jury, I am horrified and deeply saddened to have to tell you that our group member, one Yesung, real name Kim Jongwoon, is in fact the son of North Korea’s leader Kim Jong Il. We all have been fooled by this clever singer, but recent events have brought this to light. I would like to call upon my first witness, Lee Donghae.”
Donghae pranced up to the chair, where Sungmin held up a Super Junior U CD, and Donghae placed his left hand on it.
“I swear to tell the truth!” Sungmin stepped down and Eunhyuk approached Donghae, a probing look on his face.
“Donghae, is it true that you were the first to discover Yesung’s true identity?”
Donghae nodded enthusiastically. “I was the one who found the article last night!”
Eunhyuk nodded solemnly. “What did the article say?”
Donghae pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. “Well, last night I was surfing the net to read stuff that our fans wrote about us, when I happened to click on this article that said that Yesung was Kim Jong Il’s son.”
Eunhyuk took it and showed it to Shindong, who frowned. “It’s not in Korean, how did you read this?”
Yesung stared at the judge. So now foreigners were writing nonsense about him? This wasn’t exactly what he meant by having more media attention.
“I asked Kibummie to run it through a translator.” Kibum stood up and handed over the typed out translation to Shindong, his eyes brimming with laughter.
Shindong scanned it before passing it over to the other members to have a look. “Well, Yesung, what do you have to say for yourself?”
Before the accused boy could think of a reasonable defence, Heechul waved his hand for attention.
“I don’t really see what all the fuss is about. So Yesung’s the son of the dictator of North Korea. Don’t you understand what this means?”
The rest of them gave him similar confused looks, and he sighed in annoyance at their slowness. “I’m talking about the POWER. He’ll inherit the entire country; imagine what Super Junior could do with control over the whole North Korea!”
Siwon shook his head sadly at his hyung’s misguided ideals, making a mental note to pray extra hard for him tonight.
“We could turn it into a Super Junior country, where all our fans can come and adore us day and night. And then by using their nuclear weapons, we will achieve world domination!”
Hankyung tapped Sungmin on the shoulder. “China and North Korea are allies, right?”
Sungmin thought for a moment before nodding, and the Chinese boy smiled happily, reaching out to shake Yesung’s hand.
That’s it, Yesung thought, they’ve all gone absolutely crazy.
And he stomped off to his room to sulk, leaving the other 12 members to discuss the merits of owning a country.
“I vote for Miracle to be our national anthem!”
“But Kyuhyunnie didn’t sing in that one, hyung, it’s not fair!”
“I’m going to be the Minister of Dance!”
“You need to be elected first, Donghae.”
Eeteuk felt a little sorry for Yesung, who clearly was a victim of this stupid Swiss article. Those silly reporters probably didn’t know that there were likely to be hundreds of people with the name Kim Jongwoon.
Sighing, he told Kyuhyun to go and pacify Yesung while he tried to calm the noisy rabble in the living room.
Kyuhyun shrugged and went to the kitchen, thinking about how the reporters had probably just run the name through a search engine and taken the first picture available.
Bringing a cup of coffee as a peace offering for the rest of the group’s relentless teasing, he went to Yesung’s room and paused outside the slightly ajar door. He was about to knock when he heard Yesung’s mellow voice talking on the phone.
“Ahbeoji, it seems they’ve found out.”
Pairings: bandfic
Rating: G
Genre: humour, crack
A/N: this is based on the Swiss article writing that Yesung was Kim Jong Il's son. I don't mean to offend anyone by this fic, it's purely stupid crack.
beta reader: the wonderful ricecakestar
Disclaimer: I WISH I owned Super Junior.
Really, it had seemed to be a normal day, as far as Yesung was concerned, as he sipped from his coffee mug.
He was just happy that they didn’t have to perform another rendition of Sorry, Sorry on Inkigayo that night, because his throat was seriously starting to hurt, and he felt relatively at peace with the world.
So much in fact, that he barely raised an eyebrow when Donghae entered the dining room, tried to pretend he wasn’t staring at the older boy, and then ran out of the room again, shrieking for Eunhyuk.
Later in the morning, he was casually strolling down the corridor when he saw Siwon and Ryeowook coming in the opposite direction, and they seemed to be discussing something in earnest. He merely wished them a good morning, and was replied by twin looks of sadness, Siwon shaking his head with something that resembled reproach, while Ryeowook heaved a sigh and blinked those large eyes of his. Yesung frowned to himself, but carried on his way.
The thirteen of them were in the living room that afternoon, ostensibly watching a performance of DBSK in Japan. But the tension in the room was so thick, Yesung was starting to get seriously freaked out. No one said anything to him, but furtive looks were being thrown his way.
It was only when Heechul slapped him on the back and asked him “how he’d managed to hide it for so long” that his curiosity couldn’t take it any longer and he burst out, “What the hell is going on around here?”
Before he knew it, the living room had been reassembled into some sort of makeshift courtroom, and he was being forcibly held in place by Kangin, who appeared to be enjoying his role as the police officer.
“Look guys, this is really funny, but would someone just tell me what-”
“SILENCE.” Shindong banged the plastic mallet on the sofa cushion he was using for a gavel, the small instrument producing a squeaky sound. He looked at Eeteuk, who nodded happily.
“Today the court has gathered to decide the fate of our member Yesung, based on the following charges made against him.”
Yesung’s eyes nearly popped out in disbelief. “Charges?”
Eeteuk nodded again, and looked at a scrap of paper with something scribbled on it in pencil.
“The accused is charged of being Kim Jong Il’s son and heir to the rule over North Korea. I’m disappointed in you, Yesung.” He shook his head sadly at the other boy, who could only gape in shock.
“WHAT?”
Shindong banged the purple mallet again, and pointed it at Eunhyuk. “Prosecutor, you may begin your case now.” Eunhyuk rose and turned to address the rest of them.
“Members of the jury, I am horrified and deeply saddened to have to tell you that our group member, one Yesung, real name Kim Jongwoon, is in fact the son of North Korea’s leader Kim Jong Il. We all have been fooled by this clever singer, but recent events have brought this to light. I would like to call upon my first witness, Lee Donghae.”
Donghae pranced up to the chair, where Sungmin held up a Super Junior U CD, and Donghae placed his left hand on it.
“I swear to tell the truth!” Sungmin stepped down and Eunhyuk approached Donghae, a probing look on his face.
“Donghae, is it true that you were the first to discover Yesung’s true identity?”
Donghae nodded enthusiastically. “I was the one who found the article last night!”
Eunhyuk nodded solemnly. “What did the article say?”
Donghae pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. “Well, last night I was surfing the net to read stuff that our fans wrote about us, when I happened to click on this article that said that Yesung was Kim Jong Il’s son.”
Eunhyuk took it and showed it to Shindong, who frowned. “It’s not in Korean, how did you read this?”
Yesung stared at the judge. So now foreigners were writing nonsense about him? This wasn’t exactly what he meant by having more media attention.
“I asked Kibummie to run it through a translator.” Kibum stood up and handed over the typed out translation to Shindong, his eyes brimming with laughter.
Shindong scanned it before passing it over to the other members to have a look. “Well, Yesung, what do you have to say for yourself?”
Before the accused boy could think of a reasonable defence, Heechul waved his hand for attention.
“I don’t really see what all the fuss is about. So Yesung’s the son of the dictator of North Korea. Don’t you understand what this means?”
The rest of them gave him similar confused looks, and he sighed in annoyance at their slowness. “I’m talking about the POWER. He’ll inherit the entire country; imagine what Super Junior could do with control over the whole North Korea!”
Siwon shook his head sadly at his hyung’s misguided ideals, making a mental note to pray extra hard for him tonight.
“We could turn it into a Super Junior country, where all our fans can come and adore us day and night. And then by using their nuclear weapons, we will achieve world domination!”
Hankyung tapped Sungmin on the shoulder. “China and North Korea are allies, right?”
Sungmin thought for a moment before nodding, and the Chinese boy smiled happily, reaching out to shake Yesung’s hand.
That’s it, Yesung thought, they’ve all gone absolutely crazy.
And he stomped off to his room to sulk, leaving the other 12 members to discuss the merits of owning a country.
“I vote for Miracle to be our national anthem!”
“But Kyuhyunnie didn’t sing in that one, hyung, it’s not fair!”
“I’m going to be the Minister of Dance!”
“You need to be elected first, Donghae.”
Eeteuk felt a little sorry for Yesung, who clearly was a victim of this stupid Swiss article. Those silly reporters probably didn’t know that there were likely to be hundreds of people with the name Kim Jongwoon.
Sighing, he told Kyuhyun to go and pacify Yesung while he tried to calm the noisy rabble in the living room.
Kyuhyun shrugged and went to the kitchen, thinking about how the reporters had probably just run the name through a search engine and taken the first picture available.
Bringing a cup of coffee as a peace offering for the rest of the group’s relentless teasing, he went to Yesung’s room and paused outside the slightly ajar door. He was about to knock when he heard Yesung’s mellow voice talking on the phone.
“Ahbeoji, it seems they’ve found out.”