#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou ? how about #MaybeTHEYDontHitYou
Let's talk about #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou . For those unaware, it's a top-trending hashtag about non-physical domestic abuse. Verbal, psychological, etc. An important topic, no question. One which deserves an open dialogue. Here's the problem:
Why does it have to specify "he" doesn't hit you. I guess "MaybeTHEYdontHitYou wouldn't do the job. Not specific enough about who the villain is.
It's not bad enough we pretend like *physical* domestic abuse only happens to women. It's not bad enough that men are so much more likely to not report it, because unlike women who are met with support and sympathy, men are mocked and called sissies because "a woman beat you up." It's bad enough that everyone talks about men's capacity for violence against their mates, and how often men abuse women, without ever mentioning the fact that WOMEN who are in romantic relationships with other women are actually MORE likely to be physically abusive than men. It's not bad enough that any attempts to talk about these things are more often than not thrown out and derided as "attempting to derail the narrative" away from women (because regardless of truth, women are *always* the victims and never the perpetrators). It's not bad enough that when a woman *does* turn violent, men pretty much just have to take it, because God knows if they defend themselves and she gets hurt, *he's* the monster.
No, let's forget about alllll that (wouldn't want facts and logic getting in the way of something as important as modern feminist narratives) and continue the narrative with into the notion that women aren't *emotionally* abusive. Seriously, as broken as the idea that it's not as bad when women get physical because they typically don't hit as hard (which is funny, because in any other context saying "you hit like a girl" is a sign of misogyny, but when it's used to justify domestic violence it's just fine), as much as that rational would be quickly rejected if a man smacked a woman with as much force as the average woman could muster to smack a man; at *least* they're putting up SOMETHING. In what world world are women in any way less capable or even less likely than men of verbal and psychological cruelty and abuse?
But no, let's make sure that even when we're talking about emotional abuse, let's put all of the focus on male on female abuse; because really, that's all that matters, right?
Why does it have to specify "he" doesn't hit you. I guess "MaybeTHEYdontHitYou wouldn't do the job. Not specific enough about who the villain is.
It's not bad enough we pretend like *physical* domestic abuse only happens to women. It's not bad enough that men are so much more likely to not report it, because unlike women who are met with support and sympathy, men are mocked and called sissies because "a woman beat you up." It's bad enough that everyone talks about men's capacity for violence against their mates, and how often men abuse women, without ever mentioning the fact that WOMEN who are in romantic relationships with other women are actually MORE likely to be physically abusive than men. It's not bad enough that any attempts to talk about these things are more often than not thrown out and derided as "attempting to derail the narrative" away from women (because regardless of truth, women are *always* the victims and never the perpetrators). It's not bad enough that when a woman *does* turn violent, men pretty much just have to take it, because God knows if they defend themselves and she gets hurt, *he's* the monster.
No, let's forget about alllll that (wouldn't want facts and logic getting in the way of something as important as modern feminist narratives) and continue the narrative with into the notion that women aren't *emotionally* abusive. Seriously, as broken as the idea that it's not as bad when women get physical because they typically don't hit as hard (which is funny, because in any other context saying "you hit like a girl" is a sign of misogyny, but when it's used to justify domestic violence it's just fine), as much as that rational would be quickly rejected if a man smacked a woman with as much force as the average woman could muster to smack a man; at *least* they're putting up SOMETHING. In what world world are women in any way less capable or even less likely than men of verbal and psychological cruelty and abuse?
But no, let's make sure that even when we're talking about emotional abuse, let's put all of the focus on male on female abuse; because really, that's all that matters, right?
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