We're pretty much a no hitting household, but Alex drove me batshit the other night and I smacked her hard on her hiney. I felt awful and apologized profusely.
I don't have anything against spankings. With Lilly it's about the only thing that gets her attention. We've tried timeouts and all that but 99% of the time she gets in trouble for not doing what we asked. And in that case, with her personality, going to time-out HELPS her cause, and she knows it.
For example: If I ask her to pick up her toys, and she does not want to do it, she just wont. Putting her in time out just means that, yea she doesn't get to play with her toys, but she also doesn't have to put them away either.
Spankings always come with a warning - "If you do not start to pick up your toys in 5 minutes, I will swat your bottom. I am setting the timer" Then I set the timer and show her that it's running.
Usually when I'm PMSing I can keep it to yelling. Which is also not that great, but it's better than smacking someone upside the head. Literally. They just caught me off my game tonight.
I like the jewelry idea. I wonder if I can find something that won't make my eczema worse? Hmm. I'll have to look into that.
We have all been there. I remember struggling with my straggler and the frustration of needing to get places on time. I remember the feeling that I had to make him do stuff because I needed him to respect my authority as a single parent. Once when he was a younger teenager, we got into it and he put me in a headlock. I remember we were both so freaked out about it...we both stepped away.
Keep in mind the difference is that you're aware of what happened and you're working on it. Don't beat yourself up too...not helpful. Kids are resilient and sounds like Lilly is one high spirited little one...
You are a great mom and I maintain my Super Woman mindset when it comes to you trying to raise three smallish, clever girls and an occasionally frustrating husband. But Moms are human, too, and they make mistakes. The old adage "learn from your mistakes" remains true no matter how long it has been around - you learn from them, and you try not to make the same one twice.
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::hugs::
Mom guilt sucks.
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For example: If I ask her to pick up her toys, and she does not want to do it, she just wont. Putting her in time out just means that, yea she doesn't get to play with her toys, but she also doesn't have to put them away either.
Spankings always come with a warning - "If you do not start to pick up your toys in 5 minutes, I will swat your bottom. I am setting the timer" Then I set the timer and show her that it's running.
A spanking is not what I did tonight though. :-/
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I like the jewelry idea. I wonder if I can find something that won't make my eczema worse? Hmm. I'll have to look into that.
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Keep in mind the difference is that you're aware of what happened and you're working on it. Don't beat yourself up too...not helpful. Kids are resilient and sounds like Lilly is one high spirited little one...
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