027 [video;

[worksmart]

Comments

voice; slow warning because... class

[adamantined]

[Squint. She's trying not to imagine what this would look like if they toppled over onto the floor like sideways turtles.]

So the laws of gravity do apply to jerks. All this time, I just kept thinking they were kept upright by their own egos and bad ethnic jokes.

voice;

[worksmart]

Have you been in a paddle boat?

Which makes you look stranger for talking to him.

voice;

[adamantined]

I was, once, a long time ago. My brother Lyle tipped it on purpose and then I think I probably tried to drown him.

Do you want me to switch sides? I could put the napkin in your mouth.

voice;

[worksmart]

You know what they say about falling off a horse? They could say the same about plastic boats you row with your feet.

Then it'd just just you and the sandwich.

voice;

[adamantined]

So I have to get back in the plastic boat. Are there actually paddle boats here?

I'd just get the sandwich shots of tequila until it didn't know wheat from rye anymore. Problem solved.

voice;

[worksmart]

Haven't seen any, but I'm sure we could find something with oars when the weather turns.

I'm questioning your hostess skills.

voice;

[adamantined]

That would actually be really great. Even if sheets aren't involved.

I'm not a hostess. I'm a waitress.

voice;

[worksmart]

I think sheets would just land you in trouble.

There's a difference?

voice;

[adamantined]

Considering I wouldn't know which rope was a sheet and which one was... a rope, oars are probably safer, yeah.

The hostess - or host, if you're a guy - is the person who seats you and greets you at the door. Waitresses take your order and bring your drinks and you tip them.

voice;

[worksmart]

And you've got to be able to hold sheets down. A good gust going the wrong way and we'd be one Claire to the wind. I'd hate to make you try drowning me.

So the waitresses are the high earners.

voice;

[adamantined]

Are you implying that I'm not strong?

The waitresses make less per hour than the hosts. It all depends on tips. So, yeah, we're high earners if we have a good night, but if everyone in the restaurant is House, then you're basically screwed.

voice;

[worksmart]

I'm implying you're not heavy.

House only tips at establishments with a pole in the table. Takes service charge pretty literally.

voice;

[adamantined]

By that logic, I couldn't drown you either, even if I really, really wanted to.

There's a reason I'm telling these waitress secrets to you. I'm pretty sure no one at the Blue Light would be willing to give him a lap dance.

voice;

[vicodincrutch]

If you say that, you know nothing about worse things.

voice;

[adamantined]

Coming from you, I really don't want to know what constitutes as worse things.

voice;

[vicodincrutch]

Because you're young, peppy and missing American Idol is on your list.