What me? Shamelessly bunny hopping off of other people's hard work? NEVER!
I was reading lovelypoet's fic, the excellent and adorkable Frank Iero: The Tiniest Fanboy (which if you haven't read...why not???? Panic! Toddler Frankie! Gerard is in charge of colouring time!) and I was all, this story is awesome. I wonder what it would be like if other members of the band became toddlers...and then this idea struck with the full force of the fist of an angry god.
Brian is turned into a 3 year old. The catch? He maintains his adult personality! But in tiny kiddy form! Especially tiny, in Brian's case. I imagine that there are chihuahuas bigger than 3 year old Brian Schechter. So the band is at once deprived of their manager, but he still tries!
Mini!Brian wants to smoke, but no one will sell him cigarettes! And it's hard to get anyone to take him seriously when they keep cooing at him whenever he shuffles papers or crosses his arms, or puts his hands on his hips. HIS LIFE, SO HARD. And for the self proclaimed 'most dangerous band' in the world or whatever, the boys are horribly clucky. Frank buys him toys. Ray slips him juice boxes. Gerard offers to help him make play-doh.
So, to stop himself going insane with boredom, he fakes being an actual 3 year old in public, attempting to humiliate his band as hard as possible. The fuckers. And he starts considering that more of this being a kid crap is sinking through than he first thought after his first screaming tantrum and how Gerard now has a mark from a wooden horse imprinted on his forehead.
Dudes, I wanna see them try to put Brian down for a nap. And watch him steal coffee. Or continually try to steal anyone's smokes. And Frank would give him piggy back rides everywhere, which Brian grudgingly allows. And watch him try to put on a deep voice whilst talking to people over the phone!
So, yes toddler!Brian. I needs it! And so does you!
(I still haven't found a Brian icon yet. So I choose to use my Nick Cave icon. It makes perfect sense, OK????)
Brian is turned into a 3 year old. The catch? He maintains his adult personality! But in tiny kiddy form! Especially tiny, in Brian's case. I imagine that there are chihuahuas bigger than 3 year old Brian Schechter. So the band is at once deprived of their manager, but he still tries!
Mini!Brian wants to smoke, but no one will sell him cigarettes! And it's hard to get anyone to take him seriously when they keep cooing at him whenever he shuffles papers or crosses his arms, or puts his hands on his hips. HIS LIFE, SO HARD. And for the self proclaimed 'most dangerous band' in the world or whatever, the boys are horribly clucky. Frank buys him toys. Ray slips him juice boxes. Gerard offers to help him make play-doh.
So, to stop himself going insane with boredom, he fakes being an actual 3 year old in public, attempting to humiliate his band as hard as possible. The fuckers. And he starts considering that more of this being a kid crap is sinking through than he first thought after his first screaming tantrum and how Gerard now has a mark from a wooden horse imprinted on his forehead.
Dudes, I wanna see them try to put Brian down for a nap. And watch him steal coffee. Or continually try to steal anyone's smokes. And Frank would give him piggy back rides everywhere, which Brian grudgingly allows. And watch him try to put on a deep voice whilst talking to people over the phone!
So, yes toddler!Brian. I needs it! And so does you!
(I still haven't found a Brian icon yet. So I choose to use my Nick Cave icon. It makes perfect sense, OK????)