At the End of my Rope

[wolfs_daugher]

what good does having a sense of self do you, if all you get out of it is pain, loss, and grief?

Why the hell am I doing this anyway?

I wasn't good enough for Nithogg, or for S~

I am not good enough for my so-called family, spousal unit included.

When does it start being worth all the fucking effort?

Sparrow

Comments

[anonymous]

You're good enough for Frigga.
You're good enough for Odin.
You're good enough for Baldur.
And you're good enough for me.

When does it start being worth all the effort? I can't answer that, because I don't know exactly what your goal is. Only you can know that. Suffice to say, for every person you feel is slighting you, I'd wager there are 5 who love you dearly.

Dollars to donuts, anyone?

[wolfs_daugher]

Hugs to you, whoever you are.

Sparrow

[baldurrising]

As if the dollars to donuts wasn't enough to know it was me? My computer was screwy, guess it logged me out. Love ya!

[wolfs_daugher]

I didn't need to dollars comment. the Baldur comment did it, but I assumed you had your reasons for being anonymous and I was respecting that.

The problem is not believing in all the people who love me. The problem is in believing that I am worth that love, that I don't fail all of you every time I hit a wall, that I don't fail mySelf, and trying to find ways to state goals for my work.

*hugs*
Sparrow

[lokiz_mom]

i have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO been there. really there's no one who can tell you how to get out or when you will get out. you are good enough for YOU. that's it. there's no one else you *need* to be good enough for. i honestly dont know how i got out of it or even if i *did* get out of it yet. but i'm here at this point in my life. we had a wonderful weekend with my family. my sister even gave me a kiss on the cheek and thanked me for helping her out. it was surreal. especially after everything that has happened. i think that was the breakout point.

the effort you put into it is what you will get out of it. hit me for saying that if you want to, but that's what i've found. i hope that eventually you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel and it will NOT be the light of an oncoming train...it will be all of us waiting for you with our candles gleaming in the darkness.

**hugs**

[lwood]

When does it start being worth all the fucking effort?

When you are sufficient for your own emotional and psychic subsistence.

Sufficient for your own contentment--now, that's harder.

Nobody can give you this but you. That's the bitch.

On the bright side, nobody can take it away, although as you know far too well you can give it away. Still, once re-won, you'll not give it away again so easily.

I still love you, and I'm sorry it hurts.

-- Lorrie

[shipofools999]

I would say the results are when you start being good enough for yourself and you don't feel the need to be good enough for anyone else

[dkferret]

what good does having a sense of self do you, if all you get out of it is pain, loss, and grief?

I've been asking myself this one since I was 23. A lover (for whom I walked away from a stable mildly abusive relationship) pointed out that I was acting like a doormat when I had potential to be a tapestry. Needless to say, this same lover then proceeded to treat me like a doormat and was confused at my anger. I walked away from that relationship, but have kept the metaphor. Someday I will be a tapestry.

When does it start being worth all the fucking effort?Depends on your perspective. From the inside it often seems that the same mistakes are being made over and over and that there has been no progress because the goal has not been attained. From an outside perspective the changes are almost too large to measure