I feel like a fool

[wolfram_kyo]

Soo many things are happening lately, i am sick, i have those who i feel are slowly starting to despise me...where do my feelings lie nowadays? Am i too become jst another stain on society, and why must those around me hurt without me ever knowing. I am tired of things, i am tired of where i am living, it almost seems as if everyone around me is so

Comments

[hellgirldeity]

I don't know what to say. I read that and it felt like something I could have written about myself. I know exactly how you feel about fitting in. I've been told I'm going to Hell by my own grandmother because I like Harry Potter. She thinks I'm an overgrown child because I like anime and manga. I try to stick up for gay rights and she gives me this look like I just worshipped Satan or something... I don't mean to make this about me, I'm just trying to show that I do know where you are coming from. You don't feel like you have a stable footing anywhere because you're hiding at least a part of yourself from everyone. You have different "you's" for different situations. The 'Good' person for your family, the 'Wilder But Not Too Different' person for your friends... and you're starting to feel like the only time you are truly yourself is online where you don't have to look anyone in the face.

Am I getting anything right?

I'm here if you want to talk.

[wolfram_kyo]

yeah you are most defiantely right...more than you know.....so much more than you know

[hellgirldeity]

I think this is a common occurance, especially living in small southern towns like we do. There just isn't that many people that are as open as we are, or at least not open enough for us to find them. But they are out there.

I know it hurts when your friends and family can't seem to accept that you see the world differently than they do. Especially family. If yours is anything like mine, they think anything that isn't the church social is the Devil's work.

It's hard, but you've got to stick to your guns. You are you, and as long as you're happy with yourself, they will just have to learn to live with it. They may never accept it, but that's not your fault. It's their's. *hug*

[wolfram_kyo]

yea i know *hugs* i just have alot of pent p emotions now...i need to write i ned to do a fiction but i can't stand to write one by myself right now...it would be far too angsty.