I feel like a fool
Soo many things are happening lately, i am sick, i have those who i feel are slowly starting to despise me...where do my feelings lie nowadays? Am i too become jst another stain on society, and why must those around me hurt without me ever knowing. I am tired of things, i am tired of where i am living, it almost seems as if everyone around me is so emotional, driven to cut themselves in some way, but i cannot....I just can't bring myself to do that in no shape form or fashion. Yet i can still sit here and think about where my next anime fix is going to come from, i can think about all my KKM rps and worthless fanfiction....i am so sick of it, not kkm by anymeans...but by how there is nothing else and how i know people look at me for it. I wish at times i didn't like yaoi, that i didn't like alot of things so i could fit in and not nearly go into a fit of rage when people talk badly about gays. Maybe i even wish i could find some stronger emotion than friendship for those around me...but for that it takes time...and there is a part of me that lies in a deep hole...a part of me that is vain and shallow.