Thoughts

[wolfe_girl87]

Before i describe my trip and the hell and 60 hours that it was getting back here i wanted to post something else

Comments

[g_w_s]

I've noticed lately that there are many amazing dancers in really good shape with incredibly strong muscles... and a healthy layer of fat over it all. I believe in the notion that everybody has a different ideal weight, and that as long as you're eating healthy (and enough! eating less than your metabolism needs isn't good for you!) and getting regular exercise, you're going to live a relatively healthy life. It's upon you to be happy, though, and there's a nice balance that requires less work* and less stress and a high energy level. I also think that being happy and not stressed as well as getting plenty of regular sleep makes a HUGE difference in your body health / weight.

Personally, if I give my metabolism a kick and start eating many small meals a day, I start to burn at a much higher rate. I'd keep it up but it costs a lot to eat that much healthy food. :) Now if only I got regular exercise...

*I think this changes as you approach 40 and you need to work harder to remain in the same shape...

[wolfe_girl87]

What kind of Dancers do you mean?

[g_w_s]

I have some friends that are dance instructors - hip hop, belly dance, etc. Their strength amazes me, they are dancing constantly (for work and for fun), and yet.. many of them have an obvious layer of fat.

I point this out to say that there are people out there acting as role models, extremely fit and constantly active, and frequently putting themselves on display as instructors and professional performers, that fit your definition of "fit, working hard at their bodies, and beautiful" - while not being skinny.

Food for thought?

[aetherknight]

I don't think I have the perspective to truly understand why it has the impact it has, although I do have some conjecture

[wolfe_girl87]

I am not sure if I understand everything you wrote but I am sure you have a point/are right since you are smart.

[aetherknight]

Sorry, let myself rattle around in my head on the subject too much late at night.

[egypt_rose]

The fashion industry wants walking hangers. People see the models and think that because they are models they must be the beauty ideal. It's just scary how thin some models are.

[wolfe_girl87]

It is scary and I know it is and yet I still look and them and think...how much would have have to cut out to look like her?

[aetherknight]

Why do you want to look like them?

[wolfe_girl87]

I don't really know...

[thatgothicchick]

Shying away from my usual cynical Life's-a-bitch-and-then-you-die perspective, I think that our country's obsession with appearance, especially pertaining to weight, has gone off the deep end's even deeper end. Of course the media doesn't help nor do doctors who came out of a diploma factory and can only repeat the same BMI shit that was crammed into them in med school. But unfortunately for most women problems with self esteem and poor body image are kind of a life-long problem. All I can say for how to combat that is to try to continually remind yourself that you are a great person and that you look fine. It helps to have family and friends to remind you but it helps if you can show yourself a little self love

[wolfe_girl87]

Thanks for sending me these. And thanks for just taking the time to write all of this.

I know alot of it is in my head, I really do, I know that men don't focus on what I see as my "Flaws" and that alot of people tell me I am "smokin' hot". And sometimes I believe them. Ironically the only times I DO feel ok in my skin is when I doing stuff like burlesque or rocky or modeling and I see the pictures and alot of times I think "Damn, not bad". It is just in every day life these insecurities come out. Weird I know...

I am sure 90% of this comes from my brother telling me I am fat and making elephant jokes and things like that and my Dad doesn't really help. Also, I am unhappy being an "inbetween" I am to small for Plus Sized, but too Big for some regular stores or non plus sized brands, so it is very dis-heartening trying to find something that fits and not.

Thanks again for the reply. It means alot.

photos

[g_w_s]

If you think pictures help... I've got a lot of you from BL and a bunch from the [AMAZING] show you did @ the Uptown.

I know I've been downright godawfully horrible about developing the tens of thousands of pictures I've taken over the last couple of years, but I swear I'm going to get through them (I've stopped taking so many so I can have a hope of catching up). If a friend wants particular pictures and can helpfully remind me about them once in a while, I can be better about it. :)

[thatgothicchick]

I hear you. I'm also in that in-between category. It's maddening. I wish someone would open a store with sizes 10-18 so that people like us have somewhere to shop. I mean we're not the only ones either. I noticed over time that going to Hot Topic to find clothes that they were always out of the 12s and 14s. So I went to Torrid and they were also out of those sizes so it can't just be us. I keep going to thrift stores

Have you tried sitting down with your family and telling them about your self esteem issues and how they should be some of the people who support you and make you feel good about yourself? I mean I don't know if that would work because I've never met your family. But it might be worth a try. I never had siblings so I don't really know about your brother but from my friends who have siblings they learned to just ignore it because that's what siblings are for. They're there to poke at you and make fun of you and you can do the same to them.