Thoughts
Before i describe my trip and the hell and 60 hours that it was getting back here i wanted to post something else:
You have all heard we whine about home much i hate my body and think i am fat and the usually female "I don't feel pretty" kind of stuff. Today, in hoping to help me feel better, I was shown this website: http://crooksandliars.com/node/34099 .
I had a bit of an epiphany, or more just realization that I know people tell me I am beautiful and I know I am not obese or anything, but truthfully? That is worse...In a way sometimes I wish I was really obese...when you are like me and just a little to medium over weight there is always this idea that you COULD be thin and fit in and be beautiful if you work hard enough and that you just lack will power... so it is your fault.
I hate feeling weak...but I don't know what to do. I have binged on laxatives, which I know does nothing in terms of weight loss. I have seen a Nutritionist, I had sessions with a trainer and worked out on my own. I have had my blood tested to see if I have a thyroid problem which I don't. Have done cleanses and detoxes and it never makes any difference. Fuck I am currently listening to hypnosis stuff to help me out and am seriously considering plastic surgery. Nothing seems to work and I can't figure out why.
I am not writing this for pity or so everyone will tell me I am beautiful. I just honestly want people's thoughts on this body obsession that we have.
You have all heard we whine about home much i hate my body and think i am fat and the usually female "I don't feel pretty" kind of stuff. Today, in hoping to help me feel better, I was shown this website: http://crooksandliars.com/node/34099 .
I had a bit of an epiphany, or more just realization that I know people tell me I am beautiful and I know I am not obese or anything, but truthfully? That is worse...In a way sometimes I wish I was really obese...when you are like me and just a little to medium over weight there is always this idea that you COULD be thin and fit in and be beautiful if you work hard enough and that you just lack will power... so it is your fault.
I hate feeling weak...but I don't know what to do. I have binged on laxatives, which I know does nothing in terms of weight loss. I have seen a Nutritionist, I had sessions with a trainer and worked out on my own. I have had my blood tested to see if I have a thyroid problem which I don't. Have done cleanses and detoxes and it never makes any difference. Fuck I am currently listening to hypnosis stuff to help me out and am seriously considering plastic surgery. Nothing seems to work and I can't figure out why.
I am not writing this for pity or so everyone will tell me I am beautiful. I just honestly want people's thoughts on this body obsession that we have.