First: I didn’t notice the commas! This feels like such a big cause for celebration!
Second: She pushes past them and away from them. You don’t need that first them; it’s unnecessary and we know where that sentence ends with the second one. We also know who you’re talking about.
Third: now the fun stuff!
I know I shouldn’t read it but it provides no spoilers. If nothing else, I can always see it as an AU (I know it isn’t).
I like how this comes across and sounds. I like the imagery within it - that speck of blood, grabbing the first human she sees, how she sees the boys. I also like how you captured everything simply; there are no huge words that describe what’s going on; run works. We can see what is happening so very clearly.
I also found this fun. I want to read more of this Elena.
This was, to borrow a turn of phrase from you, quick and dirty. Extremely so. It is probably the quickest story I've ever written; it took me less than an hour from start to finish (which still seems long for something so short, but I've been known to spend three hours on one drabble, so...). I saw the prompt, the idea hit, I just started writing until it was done. It was weirdly liberating. Not my typical style (I'm an obsessive polisher normally, as you may have gathered. ;)) but still. I think all the writing practice I've gotten as of late may be paying off in confidence and speed.
You don’t need that first them; it’s unnecessary and we know where that sentence ends with the second one. We also know who you’re talking about.
Probably true. Thank you for pointing it out. Though, if that's the only glaring issue for this piece? Rock on. ;)
I didn’t notice the commas! This feels like such a big cause for celebration!Woot! I wonder what to make of this? Does giving a piece more of my time make me more comma!happy? Do I mentally
( ... )
I think all the writing practice I've gotten as of late may be paying off in confidence and speed. It is; you don’t realise it at times until something smacks you and you think about it.
Though, if that's the only glaring issue for this piece? And it is.
I wonder what to make of this? I wouldn’t think too much about it. It might be a consequence of writing, to borrow my own phrase, ‘quick ‘n’ dirty’. Or it might be an unconscious decision since you’re more aware of them now.
I'm not sure I can in good conscience recommend this show to anyone anymore. ;) What’s happened?
Also, I don’t think of it as spoiling.
I feel like I am always walking the line between striking brevity and being brief to the point it is unclear. Trust me, I’d let you know about the latter!
It seems like I am forever wanting to see good characters jump the rails and go full-on bad, if only temporarily. *shrugs* This is not a bad thing at all.
Comments 3
Second: She pushes past them and away from them.
You don’t need that first them; it’s unnecessary and we know where that sentence ends with the second one. We also know who you’re talking about.
Third: now the fun stuff!
I know I shouldn’t read it but it provides no spoilers. If nothing else, I can always see it as an AU (I know it isn’t).
I like how this comes across and sounds. I like the imagery within it - that speck of blood, grabbing the first human she sees, how she sees the boys. I also like how you captured everything simply; there are no huge words that describe what’s going on; run works. We can see what is happening so very clearly.
I also found this fun. I want to read more of this Elena.
Reply
You don’t need that first them; it’s unnecessary and we know where that sentence ends with the second one. We also know who you’re talking about.
Probably true. Thank you for pointing it out. Though, if that's the only glaring issue for this piece? Rock on. ;)
I didn’t notice the commas! This feels like such a big cause for celebration!Woot! I wonder what to make of this? Does giving a piece more of my time make me more comma!happy? Do I mentally ( ... )
Reply
It is; you don’t realise it at times until something smacks you and you think about it.
Though, if that's the only glaring issue for this piece?
And it is.
I wonder what to make of this?
I wouldn’t think too much about it. It might be a consequence of writing, to borrow my own phrase, ‘quick ‘n’ dirty’. Or it might be an unconscious decision since you’re more aware of them now.
I'm not sure I can in good conscience recommend this show to anyone anymore. ;)
What’s happened?
Also, I don’t think of it as spoiling.
I feel like I am always walking the line between striking brevity and being brief to the point it is unclear.
Trust me, I’d let you know about the latter!
It seems like I am forever wanting to see good characters jump the rails and go full-on bad, if only temporarily. *shrugs*
This is not a bad thing at all.
Reply
Leave a comment