Topic 1: Last Chance Idol: In the Garden

[witchwife]

In the GardenIt was our second date and I wanted to leave. I wasn't into him. However, Bradley looked so enraptured by the idea of a Saturday night party that I felt too bad leaving him at the beach. He bought rum, pineapple juice and Sprite, plus some cups made out of coconuts to mix it all into. He looked so ecstatic, it was as if he'd been

Comments

[eternal_ot]

Ohh...never expected it to end like that...caught me by surprise...and welcome back..:)

[witchwife]

Thanks! Glad to be back. (Hopefully.)

[swirlsofblue]

I really liked the characterisations in this piece.

[bleodswean]

I liked this. A lot. I think it's a very strong jumping-back-in entry. You pulled me in right away with the narrator's distaste for this boy. I did think it was going to go in a different direction (I imagined him revealing a deeply compassionate side of himself to Chelsea that would endear him to her and bewilder the narrator.) but that's not a bad thing - it shows that you are engaging your reader!

[uncawes]

Sharp left there, didn't see the sign.
Bradley seems like a decent guy, for someone else. He was empathic to someone he'd only just met
But, who's John?

[n3m3sis43]

I really like the contrast in mood between your descriptions of the party, your interactions with (clueless) Bradley, and the scene with the poor dead kitty. Nothing quite fit that night, did it? I'm also really glad to see you back. :)