[Fanfic] Heaven (Oneshot - Part 1)
It's raining today again!
During the whole week, it just keep raining & raining all the time like that, makes me not want to go anywhere anymore. I hate rainy days, especially rainy in winter like this. It's getting even colder and colder. Dried leafs slowly leave these lonely branches, crumbling under the freezing rain. Glass window glitters with some raining drops, beautiful, but so cold and soulless. The sky is gray and nebulous. I want it sunning, even just a little bit .
For me to see that place again.
Ryosuke, you know what? Sunny days are the times you can see the heaven clearly the most!
How long has it been?
*
My eighth birthday, as always, Dad would come home early , there would be gifs and birthday cakes for me. Every years , too, though my mother already died and our family's circumstance was not really good, but my Dad always kept his promises, especially on an importand day like this for me.
But that night, Dad came home late. I straggly stood at the door waiting for him, many excitements and expectations about my birthday present were flying away little by little. I just kept waiting, waiting, until slowly, I fell asleep on the verandah. Till midnight, Dad woke me up and led me into the house. Apparently his face was a bit tired, but I didn't notice, I only cared about my birthday gif.
- Oto-san, - I tugged on the hem of his shirt - Where is Ryo-chan's birthday gif? You forget it, don't you?
- No. How can I forget it, - Dad looked down at me and smiled gently - This year Ryo-chan turns eight right? Your gift must be also special! Just wait for me a little bit here, ne?
I nodded happily , forgetting all my drowsiness, I eagerly awaited for his gif. But then, I quickly got disappointed as I saw my father bringing to the room … a boy.
- Just greet Yuya nii-chan, Ryo! I present you a brother here, from now on you can hug him to sleep instead of Teddy bear already! Do you like this?
- Hi …Ryo! - That boy greeted me and smiled awkwardly. He was so much taller than me, quite good-looking, black and bright eyes, looked not much different from my Teddy bear.
I didn’t say anything, just quietly looking at him in a strange way. I didn't like this gif, totally didn't like this. I didn't want a brother, I wanted to have superman robot , a gif that I always had dreamed of since a year ago. My Dad also promised to give me that gif, why now everything turned out to be like this?
- There aren't many rooms in our house, from now on Yuya will stay here with Ryo, ne? It's already late, just go to sleep you two, be a good boys ok? - Seeing that I was silent, probably Dad thought that I surprised with this gif of his so I couldn't say anything. He smiled and walked out, closing the door.
That's it! So not only I have no gift that I wanted, but also got a brother falling down from out of nowhere. Yet my father didn't even explain anything, just quiety walking out like that? Suddenly I felt I hated Dad !
And that idiot looked like the Teddy bear, why were you just keep staring at me like that? What's with "Yuya nii-chan" by the way? I just wanted to kicked him out of this room immediately! My room, no one had the right to walk in if I hadn't allowed to! But if I kicked him out the my father would definitely sent me to hell, and for me, I was really scared of being hit . Well, if so I would secretly bully him!
- Hey! - I called him.
- Eh … You call me? - He looked at me blankly.
- Or who else I call for? - I got really annoyed, he prended being stupid or he was a real one? - You sleep on the floor, okay?
- On the floor? But doesn't your bed look wide ?
- That's my bed , only me is allowed to sleep on it! Just sleep on the floor and stop talking can you?
I threw the pillow to the floor for him and walked to the bed, although very frustrating, but I also felt sleepy so much already.
I thought that by doing so, he would definitely cry and run out to tell my Dad. But no, he was just quietly lying on the floor. If so, I would not give him the blanket, see how long he can take! Tomorrow, he must definitely beg my Dad to go home right away.
But where was his home ?
Why did he come to my house?
I couldn't think of anything more, I felt sleepy so much, but … why I still couldn’t sleep like this ?
Lying on my bed, I heard him cough. Why did he just kept coughing like that, I just wanted to sleep, that was so annoying!
Feeling so annoyed, I kicked the blanket falling to the ground. Anyway, there were two blankets on my bed, threw him one so he would shut up for me ! Tomorrow I would think of the way to torture him later, I was so sleepy.
He didn't cough anymore.
*
I sit down on the floor, the place he was used to sleep whenever we got mad at each other, next to the old bed. Why now I feel it so small? Not as wide as before. The small room now just only me, the rain falling outside sounds so lonely. The floor is cold right, Yuya ? It was on the mid of January but he must lie on the ground like that, why am I so cruel?
From the day we first met, I had been only treating bad to him, and all the years later, too. I was always irritable without any causes. Although smaller, but I just kept bullying him whenever I wanted. Why didn't you get mad at me, Yuya? Why did you always smile like that? Why didn't you tell me to apologize for these bizarre jokes ?
Now, though I want to say sorry to you, it's alreay too late.
*
When I was 13, he turned 16.
- Ryo-chan. Go here, I'll drive you to school!
- Stop calling me with Ryo-chan! I won't go!
- Come on, do you want to late for school ?
- I SAID I WON'T GO! You don't hear what I'm talking? I can walk by myself!
He called me Ryo-chan everyday, and always forced to drive me to school, I felt so annoyed when hearing that nickname. Anyway, I was a grown up boy already, friends only called me Ryosuke. Yet my Dad and he still kept calling me with "Ryo-chan", I hated it, it sounded like a girl name! It's ok if that was my Dad, but towards him, I really couldn't take it!
Not only that, he and I even studied in the same school, his classroom was far from my class only a few rooms. Anything I did, anything I said, he knew them all and even telling them to my Dad , I hated him so much! Especially since he told my Dad about I skipped classes to play game that time, causing me to get punishments, with cooking foods, washing all the dishes and doing housework in three months. Three moths, sounded so simple but for me, it was totally a nightmare. My house was full of man, not cleaning on a day then it would turn to be a pile of garbage. Not only no helping me, he's even happily watching , seem enjoy it so much! I would never ever call him by nii-chan, just wait and see my revenge!
I still didn't understand why my Dad adopted him, my family's ambience was not that healthy. So many times I tried to ask, but Dad refused to answer, just sadly looking at me. Until now, I still remembered that look of his, it was so deep and obsessive. He only smiled sofly and said: "Ryo-chan, just see Yuya as a gift from heaven."
What's with seeing him as a gif? He only made me feel annoyed, I did not want him to come here at all! He made my life go up side down, I must share him affection from my father, he walked into my room, walked into my life. I didn’t like that at all!! I just wanted my freedom to do whatever I liked, but he just prevented, telling me that these things were not good for me. How much he knew about it? That baka !!!!
Yuya , do you remeber the time I take revenge of you, revenge because you tell Dad that I skip classes to play game? I pecked tire of your bike, made you have to walk kilometers from school to go home under that sunny day, and I , I took the bus in cavalier. Seeing you were home, I even laughed at you, and told you that you deserved it.
I still remembered, that time you didn't smile anymore. Your face was red, because of sunshine or anger, I didn't know. At that time, suddenly I didn't feel happy anymore. You were mad at me for real? Only small thing like that… you also got mad at me? Even when we were playing football, I tripped you making you fell, or when I deliberately spilled soup on your shirt, you also didn't angry with me! Smiling please, why did you just keep silent all the time like that?
Several days you didn't even talk to me. No matter how much times I made things for us to play together, you didn't play , I teased you, you also didn't resoponse! I felt so annoyed, evicting you to sleep on the floor, you hugged the pillow and went sleeping there for real, not even coax me to sleep on the bed like previous anymore. It was too much already, what's more you want from me?
I'm sorry!
*
That's right, I did feel sorry, just that I never speak it out. Sorry but do not speak, who knows? I am a fool, the foolest person in this word!
It's too late right, Yuya?
Walking to the small blue window, I open the door and look up at the cold sky. This has been the doorway of me and him. Now , it's only me.
I wonder what the sky's color is, the blue of sun , the red of sunset, or the gray of clouds like in the rain this afternoon?
Gray is only color of the clouds , and sky, it's always blue .
Yuya once told me that, the sky was always blue. But somehow, from that day, I never see it blue anymore, always only gray, and rain, and that endless winter. Where did the sunny days go, Yuya?
I smile lightly and drink the last drop of wine bottle. So bitter, how long have I not drinking wine? Transparent, bitter, I don't even remember if tears also taste like that, it has been so long.
It has been so long, I haven't cried.
*
During the whole week, it just keep raining & raining all the time like that, makes me not want to go anywhere anymore. I hate rainy days, especially rainy in winter like this. It's getting even colder and colder. Dried leafs slowly leave these lonely branches, crumbling under the freezing rain. Glass window glitters with some raining drops, beautiful, but so cold and soulless. The sky is gray and nebulous. I want it sunning, even just a little bit .
For me to see that place again.
Ryosuke, you know what? Sunny days are the times you can see the heaven clearly the most!
How long has it been?
*
My eighth birthday, as always, Dad would come home early , there would be gifs and birthday cakes for me. Every years , too, though my mother already died and our family's circumstance was not really good, but my Dad always kept his promises, especially on an importand day like this for me.
But that night, Dad came home late. I straggly stood at the door waiting for him, many excitements and expectations about my birthday present were flying away little by little. I just kept waiting, waiting, until slowly, I fell asleep on the verandah. Till midnight, Dad woke me up and led me into the house. Apparently his face was a bit tired, but I didn't notice, I only cared about my birthday gif.
- Oto-san, - I tugged on the hem of his shirt - Where is Ryo-chan's birthday gif? You forget it, don't you?
- No. How can I forget it, - Dad looked down at me and smiled gently - This year Ryo-chan turns eight right? Your gift must be also special! Just wait for me a little bit here, ne?
I nodded happily , forgetting all my drowsiness, I eagerly awaited for his gif. But then, I quickly got disappointed as I saw my father bringing to the room … a boy.
- Just greet Yuya nii-chan, Ryo! I present you a brother here, from now on you can hug him to sleep instead of Teddy bear already! Do you like this?
- Hi …Ryo! - That boy greeted me and smiled awkwardly. He was so much taller than me, quite good-looking, black and bright eyes, looked not much different from my Teddy bear.
I didn’t say anything, just quietly looking at him in a strange way. I didn't like this gif, totally didn't like this. I didn't want a brother, I wanted to have superman robot , a gif that I always had dreamed of since a year ago. My Dad also promised to give me that gif, why now everything turned out to be like this?
- There aren't many rooms in our house, from now on Yuya will stay here with Ryo, ne? It's already late, just go to sleep you two, be a good boys ok? - Seeing that I was silent, probably Dad thought that I surprised with this gif of his so I couldn't say anything. He smiled and walked out, closing the door.
That's it! So not only I have no gift that I wanted, but also got a brother falling down from out of nowhere. Yet my father didn't even explain anything, just quiety walking out like that? Suddenly I felt I hated Dad !
And that idiot looked like the Teddy bear, why were you just keep staring at me like that? What's with "Yuya nii-chan" by the way? I just wanted to kicked him out of this room immediately! My room, no one had the right to walk in if I hadn't allowed to! But if I kicked him out the my father would definitely sent me to hell, and for me, I was really scared of being hit . Well, if so I would secretly bully him!
- Hey! - I called him.
- Eh … You call me? - He looked at me blankly.
- Or who else I call for? - I got really annoyed, he prended being stupid or he was a real one? - You sleep on the floor, okay?
- On the floor? But doesn't your bed look wide ?
- That's my bed , only me is allowed to sleep on it! Just sleep on the floor and stop talking can you?
I threw the pillow to the floor for him and walked to the bed, although very frustrating, but I also felt sleepy so much already.
I thought that by doing so, he would definitely cry and run out to tell my Dad. But no, he was just quietly lying on the floor. If so, I would not give him the blanket, see how long he can take! Tomorrow, he must definitely beg my Dad to go home right away.
But where was his home ?
Why did he come to my house?
I couldn't think of anything more, I felt sleepy so much, but … why I still couldn’t sleep like this ?
Lying on my bed, I heard him cough. Why did he just kept coughing like that, I just wanted to sleep, that was so annoying!
Feeling so annoyed, I kicked the blanket falling to the ground. Anyway, there were two blankets on my bed, threw him one so he would shut up for me ! Tomorrow I would think of the way to torture him later, I was so sleepy.
He didn't cough anymore.
*
I sit down on the floor, the place he was used to sleep whenever we got mad at each other, next to the old bed. Why now I feel it so small? Not as wide as before. The small room now just only me, the rain falling outside sounds so lonely. The floor is cold right, Yuya ? It was on the mid of January but he must lie on the ground like that, why am I so cruel?
From the day we first met, I had been only treating bad to him, and all the years later, too. I was always irritable without any causes. Although smaller, but I just kept bullying him whenever I wanted. Why didn't you get mad at me, Yuya? Why did you always smile like that? Why didn't you tell me to apologize for these bizarre jokes ?
Now, though I want to say sorry to you, it's alreay too late.
*
When I was 13, he turned 16.
- Ryo-chan. Go here, I'll drive you to school!
- Stop calling me with Ryo-chan! I won't go!
- Come on, do you want to late for school ?
- I SAID I WON'T GO! You don't hear what I'm talking? I can walk by myself!
He called me Ryo-chan everyday, and always forced to drive me to school, I felt so annoyed when hearing that nickname. Anyway, I was a grown up boy already, friends only called me Ryosuke. Yet my Dad and he still kept calling me with "Ryo-chan", I hated it, it sounded like a girl name! It's ok if that was my Dad, but towards him, I really couldn't take it!
Not only that, he and I even studied in the same school, his classroom was far from my class only a few rooms. Anything I did, anything I said, he knew them all and even telling them to my Dad , I hated him so much! Especially since he told my Dad about I skipped classes to play game that time, causing me to get punishments, with cooking foods, washing all the dishes and doing housework in three months. Three moths, sounded so simple but for me, it was totally a nightmare. My house was full of man, not cleaning on a day then it would turn to be a pile of garbage. Not only no helping me, he's even happily watching , seem enjoy it so much! I would never ever call him by nii-chan, just wait and see my revenge!
I still didn't understand why my Dad adopted him, my family's ambience was not that healthy. So many times I tried to ask, but Dad refused to answer, just sadly looking at me. Until now, I still remembered that look of his, it was so deep and obsessive. He only smiled sofly and said: "Ryo-chan, just see Yuya as a gift from heaven."
What's with seeing him as a gif? He only made me feel annoyed, I did not want him to come here at all! He made my life go up side down, I must share him affection from my father, he walked into my room, walked into my life. I didn’t like that at all!! I just wanted my freedom to do whatever I liked, but he just prevented, telling me that these things were not good for me. How much he knew about it? That baka !!!!
Yuya , do you remeber the time I take revenge of you, revenge because you tell Dad that I skip classes to play game? I pecked tire of your bike, made you have to walk kilometers from school to go home under that sunny day, and I , I took the bus in cavalier. Seeing you were home, I even laughed at you, and told you that you deserved it.
I still remembered, that time you didn't smile anymore. Your face was red, because of sunshine or anger, I didn't know. At that time, suddenly I didn't feel happy anymore. You were mad at me for real? Only small thing like that… you also got mad at me? Even when we were playing football, I tripped you making you fell, or when I deliberately spilled soup on your shirt, you also didn't angry with me! Smiling please, why did you just keep silent all the time like that?
Several days you didn't even talk to me. No matter how much times I made things for us to play together, you didn't play , I teased you, you also didn't resoponse! I felt so annoyed, evicting you to sleep on the floor, you hugged the pillow and went sleeping there for real, not even coax me to sleep on the bed like previous anymore. It was too much already, what's more you want from me?
I'm sorry!
*
That's right, I did feel sorry, just that I never speak it out. Sorry but do not speak, who knows? I am a fool, the foolest person in this word!
It's too late right, Yuya?
Walking to the small blue window, I open the door and look up at the cold sky. This has been the doorway of me and him. Now , it's only me.
I wonder what the sky's color is, the blue of sun , the red of sunset, or the gray of clouds like in the rain this afternoon?
Gray is only color of the clouds , and sky, it's always blue .
Yuya once told me that, the sky was always blue. But somehow, from that day, I never see it blue anymore, always only gray, and rain, and that endless winter. Where did the sunny days go, Yuya?
I smile lightly and drink the last drop of wine bottle. So bitter, how long have I not drinking wine? Transparent, bitter, I don't even remember if tears also taste like that, it has been so long.
It has been so long, I haven't cried.
*