Solitude: Being at peace with yourself; in order to find peace with the world

[willow_fae_20]

Hubby's Granny passed away early this morning. He's in an emotionally weird place because he doesn't know *how* he should feel. She'd been in poor health for over 10 years and wasn't the 'Granny' he remembered from his youth. She stipulated a while ago that when she passed she wanted her grandsons to be pallbearers, and I think that's going to be

Comments

[mashfanficchick]

Have you considered converting? ;-) Lots of Jews believe that pregnant women shouldn't go to funerals. I have no idea why. But my mom was very much not allowed to attend her grandmother's funeral, because she died when my mom was about six months pregnant.

Seriously, though, I would say that, y'know, the living take precedence over the dead. Your comfort, physical and mental, ought to be utmost. Do what makes you feel comfortable.

[willow_fae_20]

Thank you so much for your support.

Lots of Jews believe that pregnant women shouldn't go to funerals.

That's interesting. I'd never heard that. I can't really explain *where* my discomfort at the idea comes from. And that's what makes it tough. People will want to know *why* I don't want to be there, and I don't have an answer that would suit.

Have you considered converting? ;-)

I don't really have *strong* ties to any one faith in particular as I feel that faith can't really be quantified like that. So I guess I'd call myself pan-religious.

Do what makes you feel comfortable.

If only it were that easy. If I don't go my M-i-L would throw a holy fit. It wouldn't be pretty and I don't want to cause any trouble. Also, I want to be there for my hubby. I will make myself inconspicuous so that if at any time I am really uncomfortable I can quietly slip out.

[mashfanficchick]

I am getting REAL close to asking you for you MIL's name and number, so I can call her and give her a piece of my mind. Barring that, however, maybe if you have time (I have no idea when the funeral is), you could call in to your OB/GYN, see what she thinks? Many doctors will give specific orders that a pregnant woman is not to be placed in any type of situation in which she might feel stress, as that can transfer to the fetus. And a doctor's note should work on your MIL; it's "guilt judo": her needs outweigh your needs because she's older and a bitch, but the baby's needs outweigh her needs because it's the future and refusing it that privilege will TELL everyone she's a bitch.

*sends hugs and wishes for peace*

[willow_fae_20]

You are awesome. I'm going to try to get through this without having to involve my OB. But I think I can use the pregnancy to my advantage. Being able to duck out of a (possible) 4 hour viewing a couple hours into it (or show up late). I'm just going to play it by ear for now and try not to hurt anyone's feelings.

*snuggles*

[munibunny]

Yeah. I know how you feel, but your m-i-l will make things more difficult for you in the long run. Besides, you have to think of your hubby... he might need you. *hugs* Funerals are as much about celebrating life as saying goodbye. It'll be uncomfortable for you, but babies are always a welcome distraction even in the worst of times.

[willow_fae_20]

I'ma have to edit the entry. Just talked to the M-i-L and she was all 'You don't have to be at both viewings (2-4 and 6-8 on Sunday). We understand that being 6 weeks out from delivery will make all that standing around tough. You just decide which one you want to be at and anyone who has a problem with it can deal with me.'

I was Flabberghasted. She's being understanding... I think that's one of the signs of the apocalypse. As far as the funeral goes I'll just stick to the background so as not to make a blubbering fool of myself when the emotions and hormones get the best of me.

but babies are always a welcome distraction even in the worst of times.

That's what I'm coming to understand. People will be able to forget their grief for a few moments while they talk to/about baby and me.

*snuggles*

[silme711]

Oh :/
I'm sorry to hear that *huggles*

I'd say if you don't want to go then don't...but your family won't be so happy about it, right?

[willow_fae_20]

*snuggles*

My M-i-L would be furious. So I'm in a bit of a conundrum. I'll figure it out.