Had I not been wearing a helmet during bike polo last night I'm pretty sure I would be dead. I split the back of my helmet for about 2 inches and shattered parts of the front. I got up and was just a little dizzy. Did sit the rest of the night out, though.

I would have sex with Philip Seymour Hoffman and Travis Shettel. No questions asked.

I should really just move back to Florida.

I want a Harriet Tubman tattoo.

I finally slept last night. Also, I'm attractive enough, now, to pick people up at a bar on a regular basis. These two things seem to be somehow related.

I was thinking about anal sex. You probably shouldn't eat garlic before or right after.

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If I was in a traveling punk band I think I would only consume raw vegetables and 40s.

Please can you make beatiful babies together?

When I get really sad I listen to a lot of Nirvana.