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had a dream about patrick (and pete too). something about going back in time and reliving the old days of touring when you actually have to worry about how much money you have and how much time and all the little things. patrick had a fierce little eye makeup thing going on too, and he was in an argument with pete. i think i was together with ( Read more... )

i feel like im trying so hard and everything just turns on me. the past two days ive seriously started trying to potty train my 4 year old, who seems to have absolutely no interest whatsoever in actually doing it. im using a mixture of positive and negative reinforcement, but my husband will come along and fuck it up as soon as he can. for instance ( Read more... )

had a dream last night with adam lambert in it. we performed together and i got mildly annoyed because hed come close to kiss me or something and then back away at the last second, or he did actually kiss and just leave me feelin all teased. it was odd.

...sometimes i'm a mean, no good, horrible, bad person. and sometimes i don't care.

pretty much the perfect phrase to describe how i'm feeling. i have much glee at adam lambert and his band and his face, etc. but at the same time, i am feeling vastly useless and just generally blah. like, in a huge way. i feel like my life is a waste. like i missed my chance to actually feel awesome, to do what i want, to live a life that feels ( Read more... )

frequently when i go to bed, i find myself contemplating my existance and where i fit in the world, what im meant to do or be. thoughts of god or the lack therof, how life is pointless and awkward. how you do things and make decisions and have to come to terms with that and how you can or cant change things. whether or not its too late or even ( Read more... )

i'm not dead! sooooo, i dunno what i'm posting for lol. i got a bike today, my dads. hopefully be getting a job any day now, if the guy ever calls me back. my mother in law decided to get my son's hair cut on my again, even though she knows i fucking hate it. story of my life. i'm in my last week of my second psych class, so after i take my final ( ( Read more... )

about the gorgeous William Beckett. It actually involved a lot more than that, including Snape, Dumbledore, an old friend from high school, a beautiful black electric guitar, and a host of other occurrences. The important part took place in an office. William was doing some menial work while I talked to the headmaster about finding his stolen ( Read more... )

And today I got up at 10:13. I also managed to get in some yoga thanks to the 21 day Yoga Challenge on Yoga Journal, and even 15 minutes of meditation! Will try to work on the things I didn't do from yesterday's to do list. Also Accounting homework.