Aberration 4/? (Firefly fic: Altered timeline from Ariel)
FIC: Aberration 4/?
Author: Ann
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing/character: Everyone aboard Serenity
Warnings: Altered timeline from 'Ariel', angst, hurt/comfort
Rating (This chapter): PG
Summary: Something happens, something changes and Jayne has a choice to make. One Tam is left behind on Ariel.
Thanks to lvs2read for the great beta and thunder_nari for the great beta and spurring me on.
Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3
Next time you decide to stab me in the back... have the balls to do it to my face.
Jayne can't seem to let that thought go, can't get Mal's voice out of his head. He's not ever seen the captain so furious, never seen Mal consider taking down a man in something that wasn't a fair fight, but he has no doubt Mal would've spaced him. Could see the look in the man's eyes, Mal was all set to and Jayne's not sure what changed his mind. Begging hadn't worked, being all confused hadn't either and now the confusion is doubled, added to a good dose of frustration because Mal's let it go it seems. Has seen Jayne walking around after Zoe let him in some hours later, first mate never asking why he was locked out which comforts Jayne some-- glad no one else knew of his deception.
Mal's acting no different than before, though Jayne fancies there's a hardness in his eyes when Mal looks his way, a slight undercurrent to his tone which makes some things all the more personal.
It keeps Jayne on edge, about as much as explaining just what had happened to the crew does. Making him talk and tell and relive what happened. Simon's words and plea, his thanks being guilt enough in making Jayne feel like a heel and come the next planet fall he'll be finding a way to make it up; fresh fruit and produce do make the crew sunnier. Maybe he'll ask the preacher for atonement, too. He's got nothing to say right now, just listens as they talk over him. Mal's got plenty to say it seems, and he's already used his patented, 'not looking to assign blame' speech.
Mal’s keeping his gaze from Jayne deliberately as he speaks, chances are his tone will give him away if he looks at the man, thinks on how he’s put them here. The rest of the crew’s quit arguing, stopped demanding answers and some stopped insisting that they fight to get back Simon. They've settled enough to listen. Mal knows they're not going to like what he has to say, chances are he won't be getting much sleep tonight, but things need saying and he's the one to do them.
"All right, first thing, how's River doin', Inara?" He looks to her, making the companion redden lightly, an unhappy flush that creeps down her cheeks as her gaze creeps over to the silent girl by her side. She hates talking over River, considers it the height of rudeness, but it can't be helped.
"Not well, I'm afraid."
"Ain't heard her carryin' on an' screamin'." Though Mal wishes she would, worse seeing her retreat like she is. Inara and Kaylee dressing her like a child, walking her around. Been more then twenty four hours and she hasn't said a word.
"Kinda wish she would." Kaylee speaks now, drawing their attention to her. "She just sits there, Captain." Her eyes drift to the others as she continues, "like she's not there anymore."
Zoe takes a sip of her drink, eyes on Jayne for a long moment before she looks to the center of the table. "Got enough rage and fear curled up inside her; likely she's doing that to hold herself in. Jayne said she went more peculiar before they heard screaming. Sounds to me like she's got a guess what'll happen to Simon."
"Screams?" Wash has a peculiar look on his face, caught somewhere between worry and disgust.
"Weren't nothing' like I've heard before. Men dyin', folk with bits hacked off, them's bad enough." Jayne snorts, hiding the shudder that runs through him and takes a gulp of his drink, noting the sickened looks on some faces around the table. "This was...I ain't sure, but it weren't right. Not heard folks sound that bad save ones that've been hit by Reavers."
"Evidently these individuals are not the more common Alliance officers we've seen." Book unfolds his hands and rests his chin on them. The preacher is well-rested from his time at the monastery, but his eyes show signs of strain as he rubs them. "News on the cortex is that River and Simon were responsible for the deaths of nine officers, it doesn't specify how but it's bumped the reward money up a substantial amount."
Mal tenses at that, eyes flicking to Jayne, but Jayne manages to hold his head up and doesn't even blink as Mal assesses him.
"So, cover up?" Wash frowns moving over to the small kitchen, grasping cutlery and laying it upon the table. It's hard to think of eating at that moment but the meal’s already cooled and the last thing they need is to get sick or weakened.
"And a large one at that." Book shakes his head, eyes on Mal, "Seems Simon did right to get River out of there, who knows what they did to her."
Jayne's agitated now, thinking on Simon's words in the hospital--cut open her skull--playing with his knife. "Made her crazy, what else you gotta know?"
"It might be a help to look through all the information Simon's gathered, but I doubt any of us can understand it." Inara looks downcast. "So much medicine and we have no idea what we can use to help River."
Mal's not looking to get morose again, to have his crew quiet and uneasy, he needs them sharp, drawn together. "Conjure she needs a different kind of help now. Best help we can get her is to get the doc back, don't think anyone's disputin' that-"
"Well, of course we gotta get him back." Kaylee looks up from her hands now, eyes narrowing slightly, forehead wrinkling as she wonders on the captain's choice of words. Seems to her like there was a ‘but’ coming which didn't sit well. "Right?" She tears her gaze from Mal, looking at each of the crew in turn. What she sees satisfies her in part, but also discomforts her.
"Right. Now Simon's crew an' we'll be gettin' him back soon, but right now it's not an option-"
"Not an option? Wo de ma! Mal, do you realize what you're saying?"
Mal holds up a hand, cutting off Wash's incredulous question as the man interrupts him and rises to his feet. "Just let me be finishing, Wash, then you can all have your say. Can tell me what you like after I'm done, won't be changin' anything, but can have your say nonetheless."
For a moment it seems Wash is going to challenge him again, the man twists his gaze to look at Zoe, who meets it firmly, no offer of help, no backing up and then Wash sinks back down to his seat in dejection. There's a hush around the table as Mal leans on it, looking down over them all. "Now we got little coin, an engine needin' parts, not much chow left an' a whole cargo of stolen meds."
"Haven't got prices for all of them, Simon was gonna finish when he got back." Kaylee's voice is soft and she glances away when he stares down at her, moment of rebellion gone, listening instead.
"Can make a guess on them, maybe even find some on the cortex. Book-" He looks to the man, another idea forming in his mind, one for later, one he's going to need to know more about the shepherd for in order to use. If Book feels in a sharing mood. Man's been nothing but cagey about his past, but Mal knows having someone aboard carrying Alliance approved ident could go a long way to helping them. "Might be you'd be best doin' that."
Book stares at him from a long moment before nodding, eyeing the stubborn line of Mal's jaw, the flickering in the captain's eyes. He seriously hopes the captain doesn't intend on visiting the route he suspects, chances are the boy would end up dead if they did.
"Now ain't none of us wants Simon left there, but we've got no notion of who took him or where. Got no contacts can buy off an' no coin to do it. Simon wanted us lookin' after River, keepin' her safe, s'why they were here. Safer to keep being on the move. We could start bein' nosy, get ourselves dead and River taken back, but I've got no mind to be a corpse yet, an' I'm not losin' more of my crew."
Mal can see a multitude of emotions playing across each of their faces as he speaks, his eyes settling on each one in turn. Zoe's not showing much but he can see she's less tense then before, shows her support with the barest of nods to him and Wash, ma de the man don't look pleased at all, looks fit to hit someone, but there's resignation there, too. He knows Mal’s right in his words and can't fault him.
Book's not hiding his approval and Jayne just looks uncomfortable, hopefully feeling a weight load of guilt, though Mal's got reservations how far that would stretch--"You got her brother as good as dead, made the whole 'verse a darker place for her, Jayne, an' you ain't gettin' off that lightly. Far as you’re concerned, she's only reason I'm givin' you another chance, you be her shadow now, keep her safe when she needs it."The merc hadn't appreciated any of the talk Mal had given him, but something had changed, swayed Mal when Jayne had asked him not to tell what he'd done, and had him shutting the airlock instead of leaving Jayne to the mercy of the black.
Kaylee…she's not happy, that's for sure, gonna be a while before she starts smiling again, especially at him and Inara is looking as displeased about the situation as they're all feeling.
"We do a job. We get paid, we keep flying and every day we do we keep ourselves open. Start searching contacts, dippin' into things. Ain't a perfect plan but it's the only one we've got, dong ma?" Mal straightens, glad to have it off his chest, though his stomach still feels like it has a lead weight in it.
None of them can find words, can start questioning or explaining, the revelation--ruination of the fantasy they could be playing at heroics again and storming in to rescue Simon--has left a sour feeling in all of them. There's no real appetite amongst them but Kaylee still stands and, with Wash's assistance, silently doles out dinner.
It's River who finally puts things in context, the screaming in her mind silent for one moment, ears ringing as she senses the resolution in Mal. Feels it spread from the captain into all of them, stirring up certainty and determination and dragging her out, if only for a moment. She looks up at him, smile sweet yet sad, holding his gaze long enough to capture his attention and Inara's too. Speaking words which ring a chord with Mal, even while they chill him.
"Not weak."
Author: Ann
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing/character: Everyone aboard Serenity
Warnings: Altered timeline from 'Ariel', angst, hurt/comfort
Rating (This chapter): PG
Summary: Something happens, something changes and Jayne has a choice to make. One Tam is left behind on Ariel.
Thanks to lvs2read for the great beta and thunder_nari for the great beta and spurring me on.
Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3
Next time you decide to stab me in the back... have the balls to do it to my face.
Jayne can't seem to let that thought go, can't get Mal's voice out of his head. He's not ever seen the captain so furious, never seen Mal consider taking down a man in something that wasn't a fair fight, but he has no doubt Mal would've spaced him. Could see the look in the man's eyes, Mal was all set to and Jayne's not sure what changed his mind. Begging hadn't worked, being all confused hadn't either and now the confusion is doubled, added to a good dose of frustration because Mal's let it go it seems. Has seen Jayne walking around after Zoe let him in some hours later, first mate never asking why he was locked out which comforts Jayne some-- glad no one else knew of his deception.
Mal's acting no different than before, though Jayne fancies there's a hardness in his eyes when Mal looks his way, a slight undercurrent to his tone which makes some things all the more personal.
It keeps Jayne on edge, about as much as explaining just what had happened to the crew does. Making him talk and tell and relive what happened. Simon's words and plea, his thanks being guilt enough in making Jayne feel like a heel and come the next planet fall he'll be finding a way to make it up; fresh fruit and produce do make the crew sunnier. Maybe he'll ask the preacher for atonement, too. He's got nothing to say right now, just listens as they talk over him. Mal's got plenty to say it seems, and he's already used his patented, 'not looking to assign blame' speech.
Mal’s keeping his gaze from Jayne deliberately as he speaks, chances are his tone will give him away if he looks at the man, thinks on how he’s put them here. The rest of the crew’s quit arguing, stopped demanding answers and some stopped insisting that they fight to get back Simon. They've settled enough to listen. Mal knows they're not going to like what he has to say, chances are he won't be getting much sleep tonight, but things need saying and he's the one to do them.
"All right, first thing, how's River doin', Inara?" He looks to her, making the companion redden lightly, an unhappy flush that creeps down her cheeks as her gaze creeps over to the silent girl by her side. She hates talking over River, considers it the height of rudeness, but it can't be helped.
"Not well, I'm afraid."
"Ain't heard her carryin' on an' screamin'." Though Mal wishes she would, worse seeing her retreat like she is. Inara and Kaylee dressing her like a child, walking her around. Been more then twenty four hours and she hasn't said a word.
"Kinda wish she would." Kaylee speaks now, drawing their attention to her. "She just sits there, Captain." Her eyes drift to the others as she continues, "like she's not there anymore."
Zoe takes a sip of her drink, eyes on Jayne for a long moment before she looks to the center of the table. "Got enough rage and fear curled up inside her; likely she's doing that to hold herself in. Jayne said she went more peculiar before they heard screaming. Sounds to me like she's got a guess what'll happen to Simon."
"Screams?" Wash has a peculiar look on his face, caught somewhere between worry and disgust.
"Weren't nothing' like I've heard before. Men dyin', folk with bits hacked off, them's bad enough." Jayne snorts, hiding the shudder that runs through him and takes a gulp of his drink, noting the sickened looks on some faces around the table. "This was...I ain't sure, but it weren't right. Not heard folks sound that bad save ones that've been hit by Reavers."
"Evidently these individuals are not the more common Alliance officers we've seen." Book unfolds his hands and rests his chin on them. The preacher is well-rested from his time at the monastery, but his eyes show signs of strain as he rubs them. "News on the cortex is that River and Simon were responsible for the deaths of nine officers, it doesn't specify how but it's bumped the reward money up a substantial amount."
Mal tenses at that, eyes flicking to Jayne, but Jayne manages to hold his head up and doesn't even blink as Mal assesses him.
"So, cover up?" Wash frowns moving over to the small kitchen, grasping cutlery and laying it upon the table. It's hard to think of eating at that moment but the meal’s already cooled and the last thing they need is to get sick or weakened.
"And a large one at that." Book shakes his head, eyes on Mal, "Seems Simon did right to get River out of there, who knows what they did to her."
Jayne's agitated now, thinking on Simon's words in the hospital--cut open her skull--playing with his knife. "Made her crazy, what else you gotta know?"
"It might be a help to look through all the information Simon's gathered, but I doubt any of us can understand it." Inara looks downcast. "So much medicine and we have no idea what we can use to help River."
Mal's not looking to get morose again, to have his crew quiet and uneasy, he needs them sharp, drawn together. "Conjure she needs a different kind of help now. Best help we can get her is to get the doc back, don't think anyone's disputin' that-"
"Well, of course we gotta get him back." Kaylee looks up from her hands now, eyes narrowing slightly, forehead wrinkling as she wonders on the captain's choice of words. Seems to her like there was a ‘but’ coming which didn't sit well. "Right?" She tears her gaze from Mal, looking at each of the crew in turn. What she sees satisfies her in part, but also discomforts her.
"Right. Now Simon's crew an' we'll be gettin' him back soon, but right now it's not an option-"
"Not an option? Wo de ma! Mal, do you realize what you're saying?"
Mal holds up a hand, cutting off Wash's incredulous question as the man interrupts him and rises to his feet. "Just let me be finishing, Wash, then you can all have your say. Can tell me what you like after I'm done, won't be changin' anything, but can have your say nonetheless."
For a moment it seems Wash is going to challenge him again, the man twists his gaze to look at Zoe, who meets it firmly, no offer of help, no backing up and then Wash sinks back down to his seat in dejection. There's a hush around the table as Mal leans on it, looking down over them all. "Now we got little coin, an engine needin' parts, not much chow left an' a whole cargo of stolen meds."
"Haven't got prices for all of them, Simon was gonna finish when he got back." Kaylee's voice is soft and she glances away when he stares down at her, moment of rebellion gone, listening instead.
"Can make a guess on them, maybe even find some on the cortex. Book-" He looks to the man, another idea forming in his mind, one for later, one he's going to need to know more about the shepherd for in order to use. If Book feels in a sharing mood. Man's been nothing but cagey about his past, but Mal knows having someone aboard carrying Alliance approved ident could go a long way to helping them. "Might be you'd be best doin' that."
Book stares at him from a long moment before nodding, eyeing the stubborn line of Mal's jaw, the flickering in the captain's eyes. He seriously hopes the captain doesn't intend on visiting the route he suspects, chances are the boy would end up dead if they did.
"Now ain't none of us wants Simon left there, but we've got no notion of who took him or where. Got no contacts can buy off an' no coin to do it. Simon wanted us lookin' after River, keepin' her safe, s'why they were here. Safer to keep being on the move. We could start bein' nosy, get ourselves dead and River taken back, but I've got no mind to be a corpse yet, an' I'm not losin' more of my crew."
Mal can see a multitude of emotions playing across each of their faces as he speaks, his eyes settling on each one in turn. Zoe's not showing much but he can see she's less tense then before, shows her support with the barest of nods to him and Wash, ma de the man don't look pleased at all, looks fit to hit someone, but there's resignation there, too. He knows Mal’s right in his words and can't fault him.
Book's not hiding his approval and Jayne just looks uncomfortable, hopefully feeling a weight load of guilt, though Mal's got reservations how far that would stretch--"You got her brother as good as dead, made the whole 'verse a darker place for her, Jayne, an' you ain't gettin' off that lightly. Far as you’re concerned, she's only reason I'm givin' you another chance, you be her shadow now, keep her safe when she needs it."The merc hadn't appreciated any of the talk Mal had given him, but something had changed, swayed Mal when Jayne had asked him not to tell what he'd done, and had him shutting the airlock instead of leaving Jayne to the mercy of the black.
Kaylee…she's not happy, that's for sure, gonna be a while before she starts smiling again, especially at him and Inara is looking as displeased about the situation as they're all feeling.
"We do a job. We get paid, we keep flying and every day we do we keep ourselves open. Start searching contacts, dippin' into things. Ain't a perfect plan but it's the only one we've got, dong ma?" Mal straightens, glad to have it off his chest, though his stomach still feels like it has a lead weight in it.
None of them can find words, can start questioning or explaining, the revelation--ruination of the fantasy they could be playing at heroics again and storming in to rescue Simon--has left a sour feeling in all of them. There's no real appetite amongst them but Kaylee still stands and, with Wash's assistance, silently doles out dinner.
It's River who finally puts things in context, the screaming in her mind silent for one moment, ears ringing as she senses the resolution in Mal. Feels it spread from the captain into all of them, stirring up certainty and determination and dragging her out, if only for a moment. She looks up at him, smile sweet yet sad, holding his gaze long enough to capture his attention and Inara's too. Speaking words which ring a chord with Mal, even while they chill him.
"Not weak."