In which I confess to being a Dirty Slut (TM)

May 29, 2008 16:47

OK ladies, please put a cross in the box that describes you ( Read more... )

divorce, rant, relationships, public post

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Comments 43

scatteredlogic May 29 2008, 18:22:01 UTC
~applause~ You're absolutely right, and I agree with you completely.

I think one thing that compounds the problem is exactly what you've said; so many men see women as either (A) or (B) instead of seeing her as a person.

How do we fix it? I'm not sure some people are fixable. They have to actually be willing to change, and they have to be willing to constantly make the effort to change. The behavior has been taught to them from birth by society, the media, their parents, etc. etc. Casual misogyny is so acceptable that society as a whole doesn't even notice it. All in all it's completely depressing, so I will offer you virtual chocolate and empathy.

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wiccarowan May 29 2008, 19:04:53 UTC
You know what else? This isn't just a failure of men's perception. A lot of women have these views as well. Women's magazines are full of stuff about how we should act to fall into guys' take on the world. We are brainwashed into the idea that, no matter how powerful a professional position we may hold, we should be pretty little doormats for the men in our lives. Men don't like outspoken, ambitious, intelligent women - we are told this by OTHER WOMEN. It's terrifying.

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scatteredlogic May 29 2008, 19:17:18 UTC
~nods~ Yes, women are brainwashed from birth to accept a subservient role in society. They're told they need to be quiet and supportive, to be pretty and accommodating, not to rock the boat, not to criticize. I'm glad that girls today are being given more and more examples of strong, intelligent and competent women to look up to than either of us had back in the day. I just hope those examples can balance out all the Britneys and Paris Hiltons they're also being shown.

(Edited because extra apostrophes are evil. ~grin~)

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wiccarowan May 29 2008, 22:15:09 UTC
Do not even get me STARTED on those fucking airheads! They make me ashamed to have a vagina.

True story: in the last school I was at, one of my colleagues was taking a 15-year-old girl to task for messing about and not working in lessons. The girl's response? "I'm not going to need maths. I'm going to get a job based on how pretty I am." I'm so glad it wasn't me teaching her because my reply would've been "good luck in your career as an escort girl" and I'd probably have been sacked.

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wiccarowan May 29 2008, 22:17:05 UTC
Men already understand The Healing Power of a Good Shag, why can't they understand we need that too?

Yes. And also, why can't they understand that a shag (no matter how good) does not necessarily fix everything?

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hauntingdream May 29 2008, 20:09:39 UTC
I agree! We have to walk on eggshells to do the right thing, while they can do whatever they want, whenever they want and get applauded for it.

Although, denying them sex would punish them... *devils horns*

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wiccarowan May 29 2008, 22:18:36 UTC
It does occur to me that we could deny them sex but I LIKE sex and I don't want to use it as a weapon. Because if we do, they do, and the consequences of that are horrible.

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wiccarowan May 29 2008, 22:25:06 UTC
Apologies. And sadly, the fact that women of 50 are invisible is because men of 50 are too busy trying to get off with women of 30-something (or younger). I've found that lately I'm incapable of pulling someone even roughly my own age. The guys who've shown any interest have occasionally been younger men who fancy a bit of a fling with an older women (because obviously we've been round the block a few times and are nymphos but ALSO should be grateful that a younger man is interested) but mostly they've been guys who are at least 10 years older, often a lot more.

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wiccarowan May 29 2008, 23:42:03 UTC
Did you check behind the fridge?

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world_rim_walke May 29 2008, 22:09:17 UTC
I think the archetypes are actually "the Madonna" and "the Whore", but you're right. Thanks for the rant.

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wiccarowan May 29 2008, 22:11:57 UTC
Oh I know about the Madonna vs Whore thing. This is just my personalised modern-day non-religious soapbox rant on the topic. I'm not bitter, honest.

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world_rim_walke May 29 2008, 22:20:10 UTC
It wasn't really a criticism of substance. I wouldn't hold it against you if you were bitter. I've encountered enough unpleasant people and heard enough stories of them, mostly male, that I can understand it.

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wiccarowan May 29 2008, 22:54:08 UTC
I've encountered enough unpleasant people and heard enough stories of them, mostly male

*sigh* Ain't that the truth?

It's not that I hate all men. I acknowledge that there are some genuinely nice, decent people out there who have a Y chromosome. But I do appear to be an arsehole magnet and I'm getting so desperately tired of it all.

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