Anonymous (4/12)
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Sarah put her hands out to the side questioningly. "Looking for a man?" she asked softly.
Kevin breathed out, shaking his head slightly in uncertainty. "I - " He started, then he stopped speaking. He finally found the courage to look at his sister, and they stared at each other for a few moments of silence.
"Kevin," Sarah finally asked, sitting down on the couch. "Are you...gay?"
Kevin squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "Yes." It was the first time he admitted it, said the words out loud.
"Kevin, you’ve had girlfriends. Lots of them," Sarah argued.
Kevin walked slowly over to the couch and sat next to her. "I didn’t love any of them. Sarah - I wasn’t even, I wasn’t attracted to them."
"But you - ?"
"Well, yeah, of course."
Sarah took a deep breath. "You’re sure you just haven’t met the right girl?" she asked, half-seriously.
Kevin laughed once, quickly. "Yes, Sarah. I’m 33 years old; I’m finally willing to acknowledge what I find, you know, sexy."
"And that’s men?"
Kevin smiled softly. "Yeah."
"Have you ever - I mean - "
"Several guys in college I always wrote off as experimenting. A couple guys here and there after that. I never dated any of them. It was just..."
"Sex."
"Yeah."
"Kevin, I don’t understand why you’ve kept this a secret for so long. Or really, in our family, how."
Kevin sighed, staring straight ahead. He leaned forward, clasping his hands together. "I was lying to myself as much as I was lying to any of you. Besides, you saw how Dad treated Uncle Saul all those years - like he was doing him some big favor letting him be a part of the family. If it weren’t for Mom refusing to...would we ever have even known him? And even still, none of his boyfriends were ever welcome in the house. It’s only now that Dad’s gone that we really have gotten to know Saul. I didn’t want that. I couldn’t - I couldn’t lose my family."
Sarah quickly reached out, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug. "You won’t. I promise you, Kevin. You never will."
Kevin shook his head ruefully. "Silly, I know. Who stays in the closet this long? In this day and age?"
Sarah rubbed his back. "You always were so concerned about the rest of the family, taking care of all of us, trying to please Mom, trying to make Dad proud. It’s time you looked after yourself a bit."
Kevin sighed, pulling away from Sarah’s embrace and leaning back onto the couch. She looked over at him and smiled, teasingly yet still somewhat awkwardly. "So...have you had any matches?"
Kevin laughed, lifting a hand to scratch at the side of his face in embarrassment. "Yeah. Yeah, a couple. There’s this one guy... And I’m meeting someone for coffee tomorrow afternoon, actually."
Sarah looked excited. "We have to find you something to wear!" She said as she stood, grabbed his hand and pulled him in the direction of the bedroom.
Kevin shook his head, groaning. "This is why I didn’t - just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I suddenly care about clothes."
"I know," Sarah said, laughing. "You’re still a Republican, after all."
"Um..." Kevin said slowly.
***
Later that day, after Sarah finally left, Kevin needed to get out of the house. He went around the city, eventually ending up at the grocery store. Kevin now stared at the bins of produce, trying to decide what he wanted to buy. He pursed his lips as he looked at a mound of watermelons.
"It’s too early for those watermelons to be any good," came a familiar voice behind him, and Kevin turned in surprise.
"Scotty!"
Scotty offered him a small smile from where he was standing, and then he looked back at the onion in his hand.
"I heard your boy on the radio the other day, promising to cut taxes."
Kevin laughed, shaking his head. "I do enjoy these little conversations of ours," he said.
Scotty smirked. He finally decided against the onion and stepped away from the table. Kevin followed him down the aisle, and Scotty turned slightly to face him.
"Here I was starting to take it personally that all your upcoming events are in northern California."
"Believe it or not, your feelings didn’t factor into planning the campaign schedule at all."
"Well, your boss probably doesn’t take my feelings into account for a lot of things. You know, nobody likes paying taxes. But they pay for roads and schools and civil - "
"Thank you, I passed eighth grade. I know why we pay taxes. But it's good for the economy. We don't need money tied up in unnecessary government programs; we need it in the hands of consumers."
"Especially if those consumers are in the top tax brackets, right?"
Kevin shrugged, hiding a smile as he said, "Trickle-down - "
Scotty laughed. "You aren’t honestly going to invoke Reagan on me, are you?"
"He is my sister’s hero."
"Ah, yes. Ms. Red."
Kevin turned to look at him. "You watch the show?" he asked, startled.
"Hmm...watch - yell at. Whatever you want to call it."
Kevin smiled, and they walked silently for a few moments.
"Let me ask you something I’ve always wondered," Scotty said suddenly.
Kevin sighed. "Are we ever going to have a conversation about something other than politics?"
Scotty glanced over at him. "Well, you could always insult my work again," he said, eyes twinkling.
The two men stopped walking briefly, facing each other. People angled around them, but neither one noticed. They made eye contact, just barely smiling at each other in their impromptu stand-off.
Finally, Kevin sighed. "What?" he asked as he turned away and continued walking.
"Why is it that Republicans make such a big deal about reducing the role of federal government - local choices rather than national oversight and all that - but their biggest policies seem to be all about restricting the freedom of personal choice? What people can do to their bodies, and who they can love, and so on."
Kevin took a deep breath. "I don’t think it’s fair to classify all Republicans like that. Somewhere along the line, the party decided to align themselves or at least became identified with the religious right. Republicans became the morality police, with a focus on family values and all those other buzzwords, rather than an emphasis on basic conservative platforms. Not all Republicans are like that - Senator McCallister is a good man with a vision for this state and this country, whether I - whether you agree with everything he says. My father - my father..."
Kevin broke off, looking away in an attempt to avoid Scotty’s expression of astonished realization.
"Oh. My. God. Oh my God, you’re liberal," he said.
Kevin laughed. "I am not."
"Yes, you are. You really don’t believe all the things you’ve been saying to me all this time."
"Don’t be ridiculous."
"Come out of the closet, Kevin."
Kevin whirled his head to stare at Scotty. He swallowed. "Excuse me?"
Scotty leaned in. "Confess," he murmured. "You’re pro-choice."
Kevin scoffed, walking quicker. "Stop it," he said.
"You think this war is the worst idea ever."
"Are you done?"
Scotty remained quiet for a moment, a smile playing on his lips. "I don’t get it. Why do you stay in your job? Why did you even start working for him in the first place?"
"It’s...complicated."
"OK," Scotty conceded. "But we’re not finished."
"Of course we aren’t," Kevin said with a resigned sigh.
***
The following afternoon, Kevin very nervously sat at his usual table at the coffee shop. He tapped his fingers on the surface of the table as he waited. He then reached out, straightening the shopping bag on the edge of the table, the one he said he’d have so his date would recognize him.
"Kevin?"
He looked up, startled by the voice. A good-looking man in his 30s stood next to the table, and Kevin quickly rose to greet him. They shook hands and then both sat down.
"I’m Chad," the other man said, smiling somewhat nervously.
The date went fairly well, Kevin thought. Chad was nice enough. He was a struggling actor-construction worker, and he talked about how difficult it was to find an agent who didn’t expect him to hide his sexuality. Although Kevin hadn’t planned on lying, he decided on the spot not to talk about his work with Robert. Instead, he claimed to work for the family business. The conversation flowed smoothly, with occasional flirting and innuendo. Kevin knew he ultimately wouldn’t pursue anything with Chad - his life was complicated enough, after all - but he enjoyed himself. It was a harmless date, he reminded himself.
"Do you want to get out of here? Go for a drive?" Chad suddenly asked.
Kevin blinked. "Where?"
"I don’t know. Up Mulholland. Or...to my place."
Kevin took a deep breath. He thought about how long it had been. He thought about how frustrated Scotty made him. He thought about how he didn’t want to ruin anything with S.W. - but didn’t that also mean he wanted to be able to offer him pleasure, to not be so...out of practice when it came to a physical relationship? They weren’t exclusive yet, and this would be just casual. He thought about how he didn’t want to use Chad or hurt him. He thought about how it had been Chad’s suggestion. He thought about how much he wanted someone to just touch him already.
"All right," Kevin said, before he could think about anything else.
***
Kevin smiled, groaning in satisfaction as he rolled over in the bed. He sat up, rubbing his face quickly to wake himself up after the nap that followed their unplanned afternoon activities. He heard the rustle of sheets and felt Chad move closer to him. Seconds later, an arm came around his waist and lips pressed lightly against his lower back.
"Mmm," Chad murmured.
"That was nice," Kevin said softly.
"So," Chad said, sticking his tongue out and licking the bumps of Kevin’s spine. "When can I see you again?"
Kevin closed his eyes and swallowed. "Chad..."
Chad sat up with a sigh, scooting forward to sit next to Kevin. "You’re not interested."
Kevin shook his head. "It’s not - you seem like a really nice guy, and..." Kevin nodded back towards the head of the bed. "This was fantastic."
"But?"
"Things are complicated right now. I’m sort of in the process of coming out to my family - you don’t want to deal with that. And..."
"There’s someone else."
"No. Well, sort of," Kevin sighed. "I’m sorry. I should never have come back here with you."
Chad shrugged, disappointed but resigned. "It’s OK. I could tell there was something holding you back at the coffee shop. I was the one who suggested this anyway."
Kevin inhaled, trying to find the words he wanted to say.
"Good luck, Kevin," Chad said.
Kevin closed his mouth and smiled softly. "You too, Chad."
"If you ever want to...I mean - it was pretty fantastic."
Kevin laughed. "Don’t tempt me."
***
So?
Kevin swallowed as he read the one-word e-mail from S.W. He felt ill. All his justifications at the time suddenly seemed really weak. He knew he didn’t have to tell him everything, but Kevin realized he didn’t want to go into anything with secrets, not after what had happened with his dad and Holly.
It was fine, Kevin finally typed. We had coffee and a nice conversation.
Kevin stared at the blinking cursor, trying to figure out what to write next. Before he could continue, however, there was a ding as someone sent him an instant message. Kevin glanced to the lower edge of his screen. It was S.W.
"Great," Kevin muttered. He opened the window.
S.W.: Well, how was it?
Kevin-33: Hi. I was just writing you an e-mail.
S.W.: Did you just get home? Long cup of coffee.
Kevin-33: What’s that supposed to mean?
There was no answer for several beats, and Kevin exhaled roughly, wishing he could take the last comment back.
S.W.: You tell me. I thought it was a joke but apparently not.
Kevin-33: It was fine.
S.W.: OK.
Kevin stared at the screen, suddenly angry.
Kevin-33: I slept with him. Is that what you want to hear? You’re the one that’s been so insistent about this.
There was another long pause, and Kevin pressed the heel of his palm to his forehead, swearing under his breath.
S.W.: So, not a dud then.
S.W.: Neither one of us were ready. I wanted you to get more experience with the process. I said go on dates, not have sex with strangers.
Kevin-33: It wasn’t planned. It just happened.
S.W.: Did you trip and land in bed?
Kevin-33: Look, I’m sorry. It’s been a strange couple days. I came out to my sister yesterday. I’ve been feeling really out of sorts.
S.W.: Your sister didn’t know you were gay?
Kevin-33: No. None of my family knows, although I’m not sure how long it will stay quiet now.
S.W.: Stay quiet? So, wait. All this time, you’ve been what - trying to pass as straight?
Kevin paused, trying to catch up to the conversation.
Kevin-33: It’s complicated.
S.W.: You know, people keep saying that to me lately.
Kevin-33: You don’t know what my dad was like. And it wouldn’t be the best thing to be out at my job.
S.W.: Your job? What about your life? And trust me, I know the problems parents can cause. I still can’t imagine being closeted.
Kevin-33: Well, we’re not all as evolved as you.
Kevin waited for a response. He tapped his fingers on the coffee table.
S.W.: Things are officially getting weird, Kevin. I mean, it hurts that you screwed that guy, but I could probably deal with it. We’re not exclusive, and I definitely understand hormones. But I don’t know if I’m strong enough to handle the rest of it. And, if you’re just now coming out, I don’t know if we’re in the right place to have a relationship. People have to be on the same page, you know?
Kevin stared at the message and swallowed thickly.
Kevin-33: Please don’t do this. I really like you.
S.W.: I like you too.
Kevin-33: So if we both want to have a relationship, then why are you - I don’t even know. Are you breaking up with me?
S.W.: No, I just need a little time to figure things out. And so do you. Just because you want something, doesn’t mean it’s possible.
And with that, S.W. signed out of the program. Kevin exhaled quickly, in surprise and in pain. Dazed, he reached out to the mouse, signing out himself.
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Sarah put her hands out to the side questioningly. "Looking for a man?" she asked softly.
Kevin breathed out, shaking his head slightly in uncertainty. "I - " He started, then he stopped speaking. He finally found the courage to look at his sister, and they stared at each other for a few moments of silence.
"Kevin," Sarah finally asked, sitting down on the couch. "Are you...gay?"
Kevin squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "Yes." It was the first time he admitted it, said the words out loud.
"Kevin, you’ve had girlfriends. Lots of them," Sarah argued.
Kevin walked slowly over to the couch and sat next to her. "I didn’t love any of them. Sarah - I wasn’t even, I wasn’t attracted to them."
"But you - ?"
"Well, yeah, of course."
Sarah took a deep breath. "You’re sure you just haven’t met the right girl?" she asked, half-seriously.
Kevin laughed once, quickly. "Yes, Sarah. I’m 33 years old; I’m finally willing to acknowledge what I find, you know, sexy."
"And that’s men?"
Kevin smiled softly. "Yeah."
"Have you ever - I mean - "
"Several guys in college I always wrote off as experimenting. A couple guys here and there after that. I never dated any of them. It was just..."
"Sex."
"Yeah."
"Kevin, I don’t understand why you’ve kept this a secret for so long. Or really, in our family, how."
Kevin sighed, staring straight ahead. He leaned forward, clasping his hands together. "I was lying to myself as much as I was lying to any of you. Besides, you saw how Dad treated Uncle Saul all those years - like he was doing him some big favor letting him be a part of the family. If it weren’t for Mom refusing to...would we ever have even known him? And even still, none of his boyfriends were ever welcome in the house. It’s only now that Dad’s gone that we really have gotten to know Saul. I didn’t want that. I couldn’t - I couldn’t lose my family."
Sarah quickly reached out, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug. "You won’t. I promise you, Kevin. You never will."
Kevin shook his head ruefully. "Silly, I know. Who stays in the closet this long? In this day and age?"
Sarah rubbed his back. "You always were so concerned about the rest of the family, taking care of all of us, trying to please Mom, trying to make Dad proud. It’s time you looked after yourself a bit."
Kevin sighed, pulling away from Sarah’s embrace and leaning back onto the couch. She looked over at him and smiled, teasingly yet still somewhat awkwardly. "So...have you had any matches?"
Kevin laughed, lifting a hand to scratch at the side of his face in embarrassment. "Yeah. Yeah, a couple. There’s this one guy... And I’m meeting someone for coffee tomorrow afternoon, actually."
Sarah looked excited. "We have to find you something to wear!" She said as she stood, grabbed his hand and pulled him in the direction of the bedroom.
Kevin shook his head, groaning. "This is why I didn’t - just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I suddenly care about clothes."
"I know," Sarah said, laughing. "You’re still a Republican, after all."
"Um..." Kevin said slowly.
***
Later that day, after Sarah finally left, Kevin needed to get out of the house. He went around the city, eventually ending up at the grocery store. Kevin now stared at the bins of produce, trying to decide what he wanted to buy. He pursed his lips as he looked at a mound of watermelons.
"It’s too early for those watermelons to be any good," came a familiar voice behind him, and Kevin turned in surprise.
"Scotty!"
Scotty offered him a small smile from where he was standing, and then he looked back at the onion in his hand.
"I heard your boy on the radio the other day, promising to cut taxes."
Kevin laughed, shaking his head. "I do enjoy these little conversations of ours," he said.
Scotty smirked. He finally decided against the onion and stepped away from the table. Kevin followed him down the aisle, and Scotty turned slightly to face him.
"Here I was starting to take it personally that all your upcoming events are in northern California."
"Believe it or not, your feelings didn’t factor into planning the campaign schedule at all."
"Well, your boss probably doesn’t take my feelings into account for a lot of things. You know, nobody likes paying taxes. But they pay for roads and schools and civil - "
"Thank you, I passed eighth grade. I know why we pay taxes. But it's good for the economy. We don't need money tied up in unnecessary government programs; we need it in the hands of consumers."
"Especially if those consumers are in the top tax brackets, right?"
Kevin shrugged, hiding a smile as he said, "Trickle-down - "
Scotty laughed. "You aren’t honestly going to invoke Reagan on me, are you?"
"He is my sister’s hero."
"Ah, yes. Ms. Red."
Kevin turned to look at him. "You watch the show?" he asked, startled.
"Hmm...watch - yell at. Whatever you want to call it."
Kevin smiled, and they walked silently for a few moments.
"Let me ask you something I’ve always wondered," Scotty said suddenly.
Kevin sighed. "Are we ever going to have a conversation about something other than politics?"
Scotty glanced over at him. "Well, you could always insult my work again," he said, eyes twinkling.
The two men stopped walking briefly, facing each other. People angled around them, but neither one noticed. They made eye contact, just barely smiling at each other in their impromptu stand-off.
Finally, Kevin sighed. "What?" he asked as he turned away and continued walking.
"Why is it that Republicans make such a big deal about reducing the role of federal government - local choices rather than national oversight and all that - but their biggest policies seem to be all about restricting the freedom of personal choice? What people can do to their bodies, and who they can love, and so on."
Kevin took a deep breath. "I don’t think it’s fair to classify all Republicans like that. Somewhere along the line, the party decided to align themselves or at least became identified with the religious right. Republicans became the morality police, with a focus on family values and all those other buzzwords, rather than an emphasis on basic conservative platforms. Not all Republicans are like that - Senator McCallister is a good man with a vision for this state and this country, whether I - whether you agree with everything he says. My father - my father..."
Kevin broke off, looking away in an attempt to avoid Scotty’s expression of astonished realization.
"Oh. My. God. Oh my God, you’re liberal," he said.
Kevin laughed. "I am not."
"Yes, you are. You really don’t believe all the things you’ve been saying to me all this time."
"Don’t be ridiculous."
"Come out of the closet, Kevin."
Kevin whirled his head to stare at Scotty. He swallowed. "Excuse me?"
Scotty leaned in. "Confess," he murmured. "You’re pro-choice."
Kevin scoffed, walking quicker. "Stop it," he said.
"You think this war is the worst idea ever."
"Are you done?"
Scotty remained quiet for a moment, a smile playing on his lips. "I don’t get it. Why do you stay in your job? Why did you even start working for him in the first place?"
"It’s...complicated."
"OK," Scotty conceded. "But we’re not finished."
"Of course we aren’t," Kevin said with a resigned sigh.
***
The following afternoon, Kevin very nervously sat at his usual table at the coffee shop. He tapped his fingers on the surface of the table as he waited. He then reached out, straightening the shopping bag on the edge of the table, the one he said he’d have so his date would recognize him.
"Kevin?"
He looked up, startled by the voice. A good-looking man in his 30s stood next to the table, and Kevin quickly rose to greet him. They shook hands and then both sat down.
"I’m Chad," the other man said, smiling somewhat nervously.
The date went fairly well, Kevin thought. Chad was nice enough. He was a struggling actor-construction worker, and he talked about how difficult it was to find an agent who didn’t expect him to hide his sexuality. Although Kevin hadn’t planned on lying, he decided on the spot not to talk about his work with Robert. Instead, he claimed to work for the family business. The conversation flowed smoothly, with occasional flirting and innuendo. Kevin knew he ultimately wouldn’t pursue anything with Chad - his life was complicated enough, after all - but he enjoyed himself. It was a harmless date, he reminded himself.
"Do you want to get out of here? Go for a drive?" Chad suddenly asked.
Kevin blinked. "Where?"
"I don’t know. Up Mulholland. Or...to my place."
Kevin took a deep breath. He thought about how long it had been. He thought about how frustrated Scotty made him. He thought about how he didn’t want to ruin anything with S.W. - but didn’t that also mean he wanted to be able to offer him pleasure, to not be so...out of practice when it came to a physical relationship? They weren’t exclusive yet, and this would be just casual. He thought about how he didn’t want to use Chad or hurt him. He thought about how it had been Chad’s suggestion. He thought about how much he wanted someone to just touch him already.
"All right," Kevin said, before he could think about anything else.
***
Kevin smiled, groaning in satisfaction as he rolled over in the bed. He sat up, rubbing his face quickly to wake himself up after the nap that followed their unplanned afternoon activities. He heard the rustle of sheets and felt Chad move closer to him. Seconds later, an arm came around his waist and lips pressed lightly against his lower back.
"Mmm," Chad murmured.
"That was nice," Kevin said softly.
"So," Chad said, sticking his tongue out and licking the bumps of Kevin’s spine. "When can I see you again?"
Kevin closed his eyes and swallowed. "Chad..."
Chad sat up with a sigh, scooting forward to sit next to Kevin. "You’re not interested."
Kevin shook his head. "It’s not - you seem like a really nice guy, and..." Kevin nodded back towards the head of the bed. "This was fantastic."
"But?"
"Things are complicated right now. I’m sort of in the process of coming out to my family - you don’t want to deal with that. And..."
"There’s someone else."
"No. Well, sort of," Kevin sighed. "I’m sorry. I should never have come back here with you."
Chad shrugged, disappointed but resigned. "It’s OK. I could tell there was something holding you back at the coffee shop. I was the one who suggested this anyway."
Kevin inhaled, trying to find the words he wanted to say.
"Good luck, Kevin," Chad said.
Kevin closed his mouth and smiled softly. "You too, Chad."
"If you ever want to...I mean - it was pretty fantastic."
Kevin laughed. "Don’t tempt me."
***
So?
Kevin swallowed as he read the one-word e-mail from S.W. He felt ill. All his justifications at the time suddenly seemed really weak. He knew he didn’t have to tell him everything, but Kevin realized he didn’t want to go into anything with secrets, not after what had happened with his dad and Holly.
It was fine, Kevin finally typed. We had coffee and a nice conversation.
Kevin stared at the blinking cursor, trying to figure out what to write next. Before he could continue, however, there was a ding as someone sent him an instant message. Kevin glanced to the lower edge of his screen. It was S.W.
"Great," Kevin muttered. He opened the window.
S.W.: Well, how was it?
Kevin-33: Hi. I was just writing you an e-mail.
S.W.: Did you just get home? Long cup of coffee.
Kevin-33: What’s that supposed to mean?
There was no answer for several beats, and Kevin exhaled roughly, wishing he could take the last comment back.
S.W.: You tell me. I thought it was a joke but apparently not.
Kevin-33: It was fine.
S.W.: OK.
Kevin stared at the screen, suddenly angry.
Kevin-33: I slept with him. Is that what you want to hear? You’re the one that’s been so insistent about this.
There was another long pause, and Kevin pressed the heel of his palm to his forehead, swearing under his breath.
S.W.: So, not a dud then.
S.W.: Neither one of us were ready. I wanted you to get more experience with the process. I said go on dates, not have sex with strangers.
Kevin-33: It wasn’t planned. It just happened.
S.W.: Did you trip and land in bed?
Kevin-33: Look, I’m sorry. It’s been a strange couple days. I came out to my sister yesterday. I’ve been feeling really out of sorts.
S.W.: Your sister didn’t know you were gay?
Kevin-33: No. None of my family knows, although I’m not sure how long it will stay quiet now.
S.W.: Stay quiet? So, wait. All this time, you’ve been what - trying to pass as straight?
Kevin paused, trying to catch up to the conversation.
Kevin-33: It’s complicated.
S.W.: You know, people keep saying that to me lately.
Kevin-33: You don’t know what my dad was like. And it wouldn’t be the best thing to be out at my job.
S.W.: Your job? What about your life? And trust me, I know the problems parents can cause. I still can’t imagine being closeted.
Kevin-33: Well, we’re not all as evolved as you.
Kevin waited for a response. He tapped his fingers on the coffee table.
S.W.: Things are officially getting weird, Kevin. I mean, it hurts that you screwed that guy, but I could probably deal with it. We’re not exclusive, and I definitely understand hormones. But I don’t know if I’m strong enough to handle the rest of it. And, if you’re just now coming out, I don’t know if we’re in the right place to have a relationship. People have to be on the same page, you know?
Kevin stared at the message and swallowed thickly.
Kevin-33: Please don’t do this. I really like you.
S.W.: I like you too.
Kevin-33: So if we both want to have a relationship, then why are you - I don’t even know. Are you breaking up with me?
S.W.: No, I just need a little time to figure things out. And so do you. Just because you want something, doesn’t mean it’s possible.
And with that, S.W. signed out of the program. Kevin exhaled quickly, in surprise and in pain. Dazed, he reached out to the mouse, signing out himself.
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