Combat (5/15)
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Scotty tapped his pen against the piece of paper - the blank piece of paper - on the counter in front of him. He sighed, then moved the point of the pen to the top of the sheet. Very carefully, he began to write.
People I need to make amends to.
Then he stopped writing again, dropping his head forward and exhaling slowly. He didn’t know what was worse - the fact that he had to do this, or the fact that there had been so few people in his life back then that he was having difficulty coming up with names for the list. He hadn’t made many friends before leaving for Iraq and had lost touch with them while he was over there. And so when he got back, he had been so...alone.
He stood up from the counter and walked away. He took two steps before stopping. He tilted his head back and groaned. "Fine," he muttered to himself. Turning back around, he walked to the counter and wrote: Mom and Dad.
He slammed the pen down and walked away.
***
"I can’t believe Kitty is actually getting married," Justin observed as he looked at himself in the mirror.
"I know," Kevin said. "I always thought it would be me and Kitty in the old folks' home, sniping at each other and talking about how we screwed up all our relationships."
Justin smirked. Then he said, "I look ridiculous in this suit."
"Were you planning on wearing jeans to the wedding?"
"No, it’s just...ugh."
The tailor finished marking off the alterations for their suits, and Justin and Kevin changed back into their regular clothes.
"You want to grab a late lunch?" Kevin asked as they walked out of the shop.
"Nah, I can’t. I’m meeting Scotty at the house. We’re going to work his leg in the pool a bit."
Kevin closed his eyes briefly against the mental image of Scotty, wearing only swim trunks that clung to his legs and his ass as he pulled himself out of the pool, rivulets of water streaming down his back and arms, damp hair falling into his eyes, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. Kevin swallowed.
"Oh," he finally responded.
Justin slid him a sideways look. "You OK?"
"Yeah, fine," Kevin answered quickly. "I think," he added carefully, "that I should probably go with you. We’re meeting with Army lawyers and the judge at the end of next week so I should check in with him."
"How’s the case going?"
Kevin shrugged. "We’ll see."
"Thanks again for getting involved."
"My pleasure. Really."
***
Traffic was brutal, and Scotty’s decrepit old car was already parked in the driveway by the time Justin and then Kevin parked. They walked into the house and followed the sound of voices into the kitchen. Nora and Scotty were standing next to each other adding different ingredients to a mixing bowl.
"So then just a dash of cinnamon."
"Scotty, these sound heavenly."
"They are. Wait until you taste them. You’ll never make any other kinds of cookies ever again."
"I can’t wait."
"Hey Mom, hey Scotty!" Justin said. Nora and Scotty both looked up at them.
Scotty could feel the heat rising in his cheeks when he spotted Kevin, and he cursed inwardly. He couldn’t believe he was still reacting like this. He had assumed that, after meeting with Kevin several times, both inside and outside his office, he would have started to be a little cooler about it.
He knew Kevin had a boyfriend. He knew that he was only helping him out of kindness and as a favor to Justin. He knew that pursuing any kind of relationship right now was the absolute worst idea. He knew all that - but he couldn’t make his heart beat any slower whenever he saw Kevin.
"Hi!" Scotty replied, deciding to focus on Justin instead.
"You ready?"
"Yeah, just..." Scotty looked around the counter and quickly grabbed a towel. Wiping his hands clean, he turned to Nora. "Are you OK finishing these?"
Nora grinned at him. "Don’t worry - I have years of experience baking cookies."
Scotty laughed. "Of course."
Justin smiled as he walked towards the patio door. He opened it and then turned to Kevin. "Oh, you wanted to talk to Scotty about..."
Kevin shook his head. "It can wait. We can talk later?" he asked Scotty, and Scotty nodded in agreement.
Scotty and Justin walked outside, and Kevin released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Now, he just needed to figure out something related to the case to talk about with Scotty later...
He turned back to Nora, who was watching him suspiciously.
"What?" he asked.
She shook her head innocently and turned back to the mixing bowl. "Want to lick the spoon, dear?"
***
Scotty, Justin and Kevin walked out to their cars together a little over an hour later. Kevin was trying very hard to ignore the color high on Scotty’s sun-flushed cheeks and the t-shirt that was sticking to the still-damp skin between his shoulder blades. He was also trying to ignore the shy smiles that Scotty sent his way. Justin, thankfully, seemed oblivious as he swung his key ring around his fingers.
Scotty shifted direction and walked closer to Kevin. "You wanted to talk about the case?"
"Um," Kevin paused, clearing his throat. "I thought we should just review everything once again before next week’s meeting."
Neither man pointed out that they had gone over the details of the lawsuit three or four times already over the last few weeks.
"That seems like a good idea," Scotty said instead.
"Want to grab some dinner?" Kevin asked.
"Why don’t I cook us something instead?"
"Oh, that’s - "
"Kevin, you’re doing all this for me for free. The least I could do is make you something to eat."
"All right," Kevin agreed, smiling.
***
"Are you sure you don’t need any help?" Kevin asked, leaning over the counter and drinking from his water glass.
"That would kind of defeat the purpose of me cooking for you, wouldn’t it?"
Kevin grinned. "What are you making?"
"It’s a secret."
Kevin laughed out loud. He looked around the small apartment. "This is a nice place," he said.
Scotty shrugged before he reached over for some green onions and began to chop them. "It’s OK, I guess. It could do with a little more furniture."
"Hmm. Maybe a lamp or two."
"Mmm. I’ve got pretty good natural light."
"I suppose," Kevin said, looking around again. "I kind of have a lamp addiction."
"A lamp addiction?"
Kevin winced. "Bad choice of words."
Scotty grinned at him. "Do they have meetings for that? A 12-step program to help you learn to open your curtains?"
Kevin bent forward, laughing quietly. "Shut up," he said.
"Well, the first step is admitting you have a problem, so..."
Kevin looked up at him, eyes twinkling, and Scotty nearly cut his finger off. He cleared his throat and focused back on his cooking.
"What step are you on, if you don’t mind my asking?"
"Um, I’m making a list of people I have to make amends to."
"How’s that going?"
Scotty shrugged, softly sighing. "There’s actually only two people on there, believe it or not. I’m just not sure I’m ready to...actually do it."
"How exactly do you make amends anyway? I mean, is it just an apology or - ?"
Scotty turned around, sliding the vegetables into the skillet. "I don’t know. I think it’s probably different for every situation. Depends on what you have to make amends for, you know? Me - I...well, I just am going to have to wait to figure it out, I think."
"Wait for what?"
Scotty turned back to Kevin. "Until I stop feeling like they should be the ones to apologize to me."
After that comment, and indeed throughout the rest of dinner, the conversation turned to lighter topics. Kevin shared stories about growing up with four siblings, and Scotty talked about the crazy people that used to come into the restaurant where he had worked as a waiter. Kevin described his strangest cases, while Scotty told him about the drive from Mississippi to California, barely able to speak of the series of misadventures due to his laughter. The only thing they didn’t talk about was the case. Hours passed before Kevin realized what time it was. He wasn’t sure he wanted to admit it, but this was the most fun he had had in a long time.
Scotty smiled one more time as he walked Kevin to the door of his apartment. "Maybe...if you have time, that is, do you want to help me pick out a lamp or two for this place?"
"Enabler."
Scotty laughed. He looked down briefly, then tilted his head back up, glancing at Kevin from beneath his eyelashes. He bit his lip, and Kevin stopped breathing.
"OK. Tomorrow afternoon, say two-ish?"
"I’m completely available. Want to pick me up?" Scotty looked away, blushing at the unintentional innuendo.
"It’s a date," Kevin immediately agreed. He raised his hand to his eyes. "I mean - "
"It’s OK. I know what you meant."
"OK. See you tomorrow." Kevin backed out of the doorway and took two steps down the hall, waving before he turned around and started walking quicker.
Scotty closed the door and fell against it with a thump. He raised his hands to his face and groaned.
***
"What do you think of this one?"
"Hmm. It’s kind of tall."
"You could put it in the corner behind your couch."
"True."
"Also, you’re tall. And you want the light to be going down on you."
Scotty snorted. "Going down?"
"You know what I mean," Kevin stammered.
They turned the corner in the furniture store and ended up in the mattress showcase room. They both stared at the ten or twelve beds set up in the room. Kevin swallowed.
"Wrong way," he said softly.
"Well, I’m sleeping on a pretty old bed right now. I might want to think about getting something new pretty soon," Scotty said, walking further into the room with more confidence than he felt.
"Oh...OK." Kevin replied softly, following him into the room.
Scotty turned around and flopped on his back onto the nearest bed. He bounced up and down a couple times, trying to position himself comfortably.
"What do you think?" Kevin asked, resolutely not letting himself get any ideas.
"Hmmm, try it out," Scotty said.
Kevin took a deep breath and slowly sat down next to him. He stretched out on the bed, holding himself very stiffly. "Nice," he said.
"You think so?"
"Yeah, it has some give, but it’s still...firm."
Scotty turned his head to look at Kevin, and Kevin couldn’t stop himself from facing Scotty as well. Their eyes made contact, and they stared at each other. Several long moments passed, Scotty’s breath grew shallower, and he could feel himself getting hard.
What am I doing? Scotty berated himself. He immediately sat up and swung his legs off the bed. "Yeah, it’s OK. I can’t get a new bed now anyway, though."
He walked quickly out of the showroom, back towards the lamp section. Kevin sat up and watched him go. He closed his eyes and exhaled. Stop it, he told himself. You’re being ridiculous.
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Scotty tapped his pen against the piece of paper - the blank piece of paper - on the counter in front of him. He sighed, then moved the point of the pen to the top of the sheet. Very carefully, he began to write.
People I need to make amends to.
Then he stopped writing again, dropping his head forward and exhaling slowly. He didn’t know what was worse - the fact that he had to do this, or the fact that there had been so few people in his life back then that he was having difficulty coming up with names for the list. He hadn’t made many friends before leaving for Iraq and had lost touch with them while he was over there. And so when he got back, he had been so...alone.
He stood up from the counter and walked away. He took two steps before stopping. He tilted his head back and groaned. "Fine," he muttered to himself. Turning back around, he walked to the counter and wrote: Mom and Dad.
He slammed the pen down and walked away.
***
"I can’t believe Kitty is actually getting married," Justin observed as he looked at himself in the mirror.
"I know," Kevin said. "I always thought it would be me and Kitty in the old folks' home, sniping at each other and talking about how we screwed up all our relationships."
Justin smirked. Then he said, "I look ridiculous in this suit."
"Were you planning on wearing jeans to the wedding?"
"No, it’s just...ugh."
The tailor finished marking off the alterations for their suits, and Justin and Kevin changed back into their regular clothes.
"You want to grab a late lunch?" Kevin asked as they walked out of the shop.
"Nah, I can’t. I’m meeting Scotty at the house. We’re going to work his leg in the pool a bit."
Kevin closed his eyes briefly against the mental image of Scotty, wearing only swim trunks that clung to his legs and his ass as he pulled himself out of the pool, rivulets of water streaming down his back and arms, damp hair falling into his eyes, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. Kevin swallowed.
"Oh," he finally responded.
Justin slid him a sideways look. "You OK?"
"Yeah, fine," Kevin answered quickly. "I think," he added carefully, "that I should probably go with you. We’re meeting with Army lawyers and the judge at the end of next week so I should check in with him."
"How’s the case going?"
Kevin shrugged. "We’ll see."
"Thanks again for getting involved."
"My pleasure. Really."
***
Traffic was brutal, and Scotty’s decrepit old car was already parked in the driveway by the time Justin and then Kevin parked. They walked into the house and followed the sound of voices into the kitchen. Nora and Scotty were standing next to each other adding different ingredients to a mixing bowl.
"So then just a dash of cinnamon."
"Scotty, these sound heavenly."
"They are. Wait until you taste them. You’ll never make any other kinds of cookies ever again."
"I can’t wait."
"Hey Mom, hey Scotty!" Justin said. Nora and Scotty both looked up at them.
Scotty could feel the heat rising in his cheeks when he spotted Kevin, and he cursed inwardly. He couldn’t believe he was still reacting like this. He had assumed that, after meeting with Kevin several times, both inside and outside his office, he would have started to be a little cooler about it.
He knew Kevin had a boyfriend. He knew that he was only helping him out of kindness and as a favor to Justin. He knew that pursuing any kind of relationship right now was the absolute worst idea. He knew all that - but he couldn’t make his heart beat any slower whenever he saw Kevin.
"Hi!" Scotty replied, deciding to focus on Justin instead.
"You ready?"
"Yeah, just..." Scotty looked around the counter and quickly grabbed a towel. Wiping his hands clean, he turned to Nora. "Are you OK finishing these?"
Nora grinned at him. "Don’t worry - I have years of experience baking cookies."
Scotty laughed. "Of course."
Justin smiled as he walked towards the patio door. He opened it and then turned to Kevin. "Oh, you wanted to talk to Scotty about..."
Kevin shook his head. "It can wait. We can talk later?" he asked Scotty, and Scotty nodded in agreement.
Scotty and Justin walked outside, and Kevin released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Now, he just needed to figure out something related to the case to talk about with Scotty later...
He turned back to Nora, who was watching him suspiciously.
"What?" he asked.
She shook her head innocently and turned back to the mixing bowl. "Want to lick the spoon, dear?"
***
Scotty, Justin and Kevin walked out to their cars together a little over an hour later. Kevin was trying very hard to ignore the color high on Scotty’s sun-flushed cheeks and the t-shirt that was sticking to the still-damp skin between his shoulder blades. He was also trying to ignore the shy smiles that Scotty sent his way. Justin, thankfully, seemed oblivious as he swung his key ring around his fingers.
Scotty shifted direction and walked closer to Kevin. "You wanted to talk about the case?"
"Um," Kevin paused, clearing his throat. "I thought we should just review everything once again before next week’s meeting."
Neither man pointed out that they had gone over the details of the lawsuit three or four times already over the last few weeks.
"That seems like a good idea," Scotty said instead.
"Want to grab some dinner?" Kevin asked.
"Why don’t I cook us something instead?"
"Oh, that’s - "
"Kevin, you’re doing all this for me for free. The least I could do is make you something to eat."
"All right," Kevin agreed, smiling.
***
"Are you sure you don’t need any help?" Kevin asked, leaning over the counter and drinking from his water glass.
"That would kind of defeat the purpose of me cooking for you, wouldn’t it?"
Kevin grinned. "What are you making?"
"It’s a secret."
Kevin laughed out loud. He looked around the small apartment. "This is a nice place," he said.
Scotty shrugged before he reached over for some green onions and began to chop them. "It’s OK, I guess. It could do with a little more furniture."
"Hmm. Maybe a lamp or two."
"Mmm. I’ve got pretty good natural light."
"I suppose," Kevin said, looking around again. "I kind of have a lamp addiction."
"A lamp addiction?"
Kevin winced. "Bad choice of words."
Scotty grinned at him. "Do they have meetings for that? A 12-step program to help you learn to open your curtains?"
Kevin bent forward, laughing quietly. "Shut up," he said.
"Well, the first step is admitting you have a problem, so..."
Kevin looked up at him, eyes twinkling, and Scotty nearly cut his finger off. He cleared his throat and focused back on his cooking.
"What step are you on, if you don’t mind my asking?"
"Um, I’m making a list of people I have to make amends to."
"How’s that going?"
Scotty shrugged, softly sighing. "There’s actually only two people on there, believe it or not. I’m just not sure I’m ready to...actually do it."
"How exactly do you make amends anyway? I mean, is it just an apology or - ?"
Scotty turned around, sliding the vegetables into the skillet. "I don’t know. I think it’s probably different for every situation. Depends on what you have to make amends for, you know? Me - I...well, I just am going to have to wait to figure it out, I think."
"Wait for what?"
Scotty turned back to Kevin. "Until I stop feeling like they should be the ones to apologize to me."
After that comment, and indeed throughout the rest of dinner, the conversation turned to lighter topics. Kevin shared stories about growing up with four siblings, and Scotty talked about the crazy people that used to come into the restaurant where he had worked as a waiter. Kevin described his strangest cases, while Scotty told him about the drive from Mississippi to California, barely able to speak of the series of misadventures due to his laughter. The only thing they didn’t talk about was the case. Hours passed before Kevin realized what time it was. He wasn’t sure he wanted to admit it, but this was the most fun he had had in a long time.
Scotty smiled one more time as he walked Kevin to the door of his apartment. "Maybe...if you have time, that is, do you want to help me pick out a lamp or two for this place?"
"Enabler."
Scotty laughed. He looked down briefly, then tilted his head back up, glancing at Kevin from beneath his eyelashes. He bit his lip, and Kevin stopped breathing.
"OK. Tomorrow afternoon, say two-ish?"
"I’m completely available. Want to pick me up?" Scotty looked away, blushing at the unintentional innuendo.
"It’s a date," Kevin immediately agreed. He raised his hand to his eyes. "I mean - "
"It’s OK. I know what you meant."
"OK. See you tomorrow." Kevin backed out of the doorway and took two steps down the hall, waving before he turned around and started walking quicker.
Scotty closed the door and fell against it with a thump. He raised his hands to his face and groaned.
***
"What do you think of this one?"
"Hmm. It’s kind of tall."
"You could put it in the corner behind your couch."
"True."
"Also, you’re tall. And you want the light to be going down on you."
Scotty snorted. "Going down?"
"You know what I mean," Kevin stammered.
They turned the corner in the furniture store and ended up in the mattress showcase room. They both stared at the ten or twelve beds set up in the room. Kevin swallowed.
"Wrong way," he said softly.
"Well, I’m sleeping on a pretty old bed right now. I might want to think about getting something new pretty soon," Scotty said, walking further into the room with more confidence than he felt.
"Oh...OK." Kevin replied softly, following him into the room.
Scotty turned around and flopped on his back onto the nearest bed. He bounced up and down a couple times, trying to position himself comfortably.
"What do you think?" Kevin asked, resolutely not letting himself get any ideas.
"Hmmm, try it out," Scotty said.
Kevin took a deep breath and slowly sat down next to him. He stretched out on the bed, holding himself very stiffly. "Nice," he said.
"You think so?"
"Yeah, it has some give, but it’s still...firm."
Scotty turned his head to look at Kevin, and Kevin couldn’t stop himself from facing Scotty as well. Their eyes made contact, and they stared at each other. Several long moments passed, Scotty’s breath grew shallower, and he could feel himself getting hard.
What am I doing? Scotty berated himself. He immediately sat up and swung his legs off the bed. "Yeah, it’s OK. I can’t get a new bed now anyway, though."
He walked quickly out of the showroom, back towards the lamp section. Kevin sat up and watched him go. He closed his eyes and exhaled. Stop it, he told himself. You’re being ridiculous.
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