Combat (4/15)
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"Kevin, Justin is here."
"OK, send him in."
Kevin never looked up from his computer, staring at the document he was preparing for a major client. He heard the door to his office open and footsteps enter the room.
"Hey Kev."
"Hi loser," he said distractedly.
"You busy?"
Kevin finally looked up, and he started when he saw Scotty standing behind Justin, looking a little nervous and embarrassed and so damn hot.
"No," he said slowly. "What - ?"
Justin turned to look at Scotty for a moment. At Scotty’s expression, he faced Kevin again and began to speak.
"Um, Scotty’s having some legal problems, and we thought maybe you could help him out."
Kevin glanced over at Scotty, who gave him a small, sheepish smile.
"Yeah, yeah. Sure." Kevin gestured to the nearest guest seat.
Scotty looked at the chair for a beat before quickly walking over and sitting down. Justin started to join him, and Kevin stopped him.
"Hold on a sec." He turned to Scotty. "If you’re comfortable with it, I would suggest you tell me the issue privately. If it should happen to go to court, then we might be able to use Justin as a character witness. We would want to make sure that you both told me any information separately."
"Um..." Justin looked over at Scotty, who gave him a small nod. "OK. Well, I’ll see if Tyler’s free for lunch and I’ll meet up with you later? Good luck."
He rested a hand briefly on Scotty’s shoulder then turned to walk out of the room. As he reached the door, he gave Kevin a grateful smile. Kevin faced Scotty again.
"Just...tell me what the problem is. Take as long as you need."
***
Unlike when he told Justin what had happened, Scotty censored the majority of his sexual history (or lack thereof). He only shared what had happened with Joe and immediately after. Nonetheless, he was still blushing by the end of it. Kevin listened quietly and seriously. He occasionally interrupted to ask Scotty a question. And he was very kind and professional. But part of Scotty still felt like he was under a microscope. Part of him was just waiting for Kevin to shrug and say it was his own fault - it wasn’t like he didn’t know what could happen, after all.
And part of Scotty felt like there was a big neon sign over his head, saying "yep, I like guys, and I want you to take me right over your desk, right now."
At the end of the story, Kevin took a deep breath, twirling his pen in his fingers before leaning forward onto his elbows. "Scotty, I want to be honest with you. There are several ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ cases at various stages of appeal right now. This could be a very long, drawn-out case, and there’s no guarantee we’d win it."
"I know," Scotty nodded. "And...I don’t want to be some poster child for knocking down the law. I’m not looking to go to the Supreme Court with this. I don’t even really care if they don’t reinstate all of my benefits. I just want to be able to afford physical therapy so my knee can get better and I can move on with my life."
"OK," Kevin nodded. "If we play that angle, we might be able to make it work. After all, if someone gets injured on the job, you don’t get to just fire them to get out of paying workers' comp."
Scotty laughed in relief. He was still feeling a little awkward and embarrassed - and not just a little turned-on by Kevin’s lawyer attitude. But he was also starting to feel like the tide was turning. Like he had made it through the worst, and he was taking control of his life again.
Kevin looked at him for a long moment. "Have you eaten?" he finally asked. "I’m starving. Let’s get lunch and discuss strategy."
Scotty couldn’t stop the smile the invitation caused. "OK," he said quietly.
***
Kevin nearly kicked the door open. Refusing to stop kissing Scotty, he hooked his pointer fingers in the other man’s belt loops and pushed him through the doorway. Scotty moaned, pulling him closer with one hand, while reaching out with the other to close the door. He then pushed back against Kevin, forcing him against the door. He pulled back from the kiss, panting harshly, and quickly moved to suck and bite and lick at Kevin’s neck. Scotty pressed into Kevin as closely as he could, rubbing against him. Kevin could feel the long hardness of his erection and unconsciously rocked his own hips up to meet it.
"God. God," he muttered.
Scotty grinned, lifting his hands to bury them in Kevin’s hair. He rose up to nibble on Kevin’s earlobe. "I thought you were hungry," he whispered, laughing breathlessly.
"I am," Kevin moaned. He found the strength, somewhere, to push back against Scotty, to spin them until Scotty’s back was against the door instead. "And I know exactly what I want."
Kevin swiftly dropped to his knees, running his hands along Scotty’s torso as he moved downwards. He leaned forward, nuzzling Scotty before mouthing him through his pants. He reached his hands to the button and paused, looking up at Scotty. Scotty, his hands resting lightly on Kevin’s head, bit his lip to stifle a moan. Then he smiled at Kevin and just barely nodded.
Kevin worked quickly, unbuttoning and unzipping the pants, freeing Scotty. He ran one hand lightly along the length, and he couldn’t control the small, anticipatory noise deep in his throat. Finally, he leaned forward, taking Scotty into his mouth. Scotty’s fingers in his hair tightened, then relaxed; his head fell back against the door with a thud.
"Oh...Oh God, Kevin...yes...Kevin...Kevin..."
"Kevin?"
Kevin quickly shook his head, clearing it of the fantasy. He glanced, embarrassed, at Scotty across the table from him and tried to ignore the fact that he was achingly hard. "Sorry," he said, then cleared his throat. "I’m sorry. What did you say?"
Scotty looked adorably perplexed. "Um, I asked if you wanted to split an appetizer."
"Right. Sorry. Yeah, why not?" he said with forced nonchalance.
"Are you OK?"
"Yeah, I’m fine." Kevin could feel the blush rising to his cheeks.
***
The phone was ringing when Kevin walked into his loft that evening. He quickly hurried over to it and picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Kevin?"
The connection was somewhat poor, but he could still recognize the voice. "Jason! Oh my God, oh my God! I've missed you."
"Is something wrong? You seem - "
"No, no. Sor - It’s just your voice."
"I know. I’m sorry I haven’t called much lately. Things have been really...awful. I just knew if I talked to you but couldn’t see you or - or touch you, it would have been even worse."
"Oh, it’s OK. I’ve just been worried. You’re fine now, though? Tell me everything."
And they talked for longer than they should have, considering the international rates. Jason told him about the mission and Malaysia and the crisis of faith he’d been having. Kevin told him about his family and his cases - all of them except Scotty’s - and how lonely he was. Then they moved onto other topics, topics Kevin probably should have felt guilty about, considering Jason was staying in a church. But he didn’t care, because afterwards, as he recovered, he could hear Jason’s voice in his ear, whispering sweet nothings and I love yous, and all of his confusing emotions and desires straightened themselves out in his mind, at least for a short time.
"I love you too," he said softly.
***
"Hi, my name’s Scotty, and I’m an addict. I’ve been clean for just over four months."
"Hi Scotty!" Scotty nodded to himself as the group responded to his introduction. He glanced at Justin, who smirked back at him.
"I’ve been thinking a lot lately about...about dating and falling in love." Scotty held up a hand. "I know, I know. That’s supposed to be the last thing on my mind, but this is...purely hypothetical, I guess. The last person - and really the first person - I ever fell for, died because of it. For the longest time, I - I blamed myself for that. I as good as killed him. And I think I realize now that I was taking the pills to get away from the pain of that, more than the pain in my knee." Scotty took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling and blinking. "And I’m scared now. I’m scared that when I am ready, when I do meet someone again, that I’ll hurt them, destroy them too. And even if I don’t, why would anyone want to be with me? I mean, nobody ever says ‘yeah, my dream guy’s an ex-junkie.’ And then even if they manage to get past that, what happens if it doesn’t work out? What happens if I’m alone and hurt again? Will I start using? Will I be able to resist the temptation? I don’t want to live my life alone, but I’m too scared not to."
Scotty paused and stared down at the podium.
"Anyway, that’s my homework. I’m going to be working on that, trying to figure out how to deal with those issues so when the time comes...I can live my life and be happy."
Scotty looked back up. "Thanks," he said quietly, and walked back to his seat.
He sat down next to Justin, who gave him an encouraging smile. Justin reached out and placed a hand on Scotty’s shoulder, and Scotty exhaled.
***
"Coffee break!"
Sarah called out cheerfully as she walked into Kevin’s office. Kevin made a noncommittal noise in response, before removing his pen from his mouth and marking something on the document in front of him.
"Whatcha working on?"
"A case," Kevin said.
Sarah rolled her eyes. "Obviously," she said, sitting down opposite him. "If it’s something for Ojai, I give you permission to stop working."
Kevin finally looked up at her. Closing the folder, he said, "It’s not for Ojai."
"Is it that oil tanker spill? Because you should be ashamed of yourself."
"This company has clients who pay for our services. I don’t always get to pick and choose who I want to defend, you know. And, no, it’s not. It’s a pro bono thing I’m doing."
"Ooh! What?"
Kevin looked at her in annoyed disbelief. "Attorney-client privilege? Ever hear of it?"
"You’re no fun," Sarah said, taking a sip of her coffee.
Just as Kevin was about to respond, his intercom buzzed. "Kevin? Scotty Wandell on line one."
Kevin reached over and pressed the button. "Thanks," he said. Holding up a finger at a very curious Sarah, he picked up the handset and pressed another button.
"Scotty? Hi, how are you?...Thanks for calling me back." Kevin laughed at something the other man said, and Sarah’s eyebrows - already high on her forehead - rose even higher. "Yeah, I’ve finished reviewing some other cases, and I think we could probably schedule a meeting with - yeah, yeah. OK, let me know your schedule...Yeah, sure...yeah, sure, coffee tomorrow?...Great. See you then. Bye."
Kevin hung up and looked back at Sarah with a determinedly unconcerned expression.
"Scotty Wandell as in Justin’s Scotty?" Sarah asked.
Kevin sighed. "Well, I don’t think he would describe himself as such, but yes - him."
"And since when are you two friends?"
"We’re - we’re not friends. He’s having trouble getting some stuff with the Army straightened out, and I said I’d help."
"Uh-huh," Sarah said, smiling in disbelief. "You know, Tyler suspects he might be gay."
Kevin took a drink of his coffee. "What? He pinged her gaydar?"
"What does yours tell you?"
Kevin stared at Sarah for a long beat. Suddenly, she grinned. "You do like him."
Kevin turned away, trying not to blush. "I do not. I have a boyfriend, whom I love."
"You want him to put on his uniform and order you around the bedroom."
"Just...shut up and let me work."
Sarah, still laughing, stood up. "OK." She walked to the office door, humming Kevin and Scotty, sitting in a tree under her breath. At the door, she faced Kevin and turned serious. "Just be careful, OK?"
Kevin looked up at her. "Don’t worry about me."
"I’m not. I’m worried about him."
***
"Hey!"
Scotty turned around with a smile. "Hi, Kevin."
He was the next person in line at the coffee shop and as he stepped forward, Kevin walked up next to him. "What do you want?" Scotty asked, nodding at the person behind the counter.
"Oh, I got it," Kevin said, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet.
"Would you just let me buy you a cup of coffee?"
Kevin laughed, holding up his hands in surrender. "Tall house roast, black," he said to the employee.
"Boring," Scotty said, laughing. "I think I’ll have an iced caramel macchiato today."
"That sounds disgusting," Kevin replied.
"Go sit down," Scotty ordered.
"Yes, sir."
Kevin walked outside to the patio and sat at his usual table to wait for Scotty. He tried not to think of Sarah’s comment the previous day, and why that ‘yes, sir’ made him wonder if Scotty did still have his uniform.
He saw Scotty walking towards him, holding their drinks in his hand. A child ran away from her mother and nearly knocked him down. Scotty quickly side-stepped, and Kevin cringed, waiting for him to spill the drinks. Scotty managed to keep his balance, however, and just kept walking to the table.
"Impressive," Kevin informed him.
"Oh, that?" Scotty laughed. "It was nothing. I used to work as a waiter."
And now, all Kevin could think of was Scotty in some tight, white caterer’s jacket. He clenched his fist, digging his nails into his palms, thought of Jason, and took a deep breath.
"Want to talk about the case?"
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"Kevin, Justin is here."
"OK, send him in."
Kevin never looked up from his computer, staring at the document he was preparing for a major client. He heard the door to his office open and footsteps enter the room.
"Hey Kev."
"Hi loser," he said distractedly.
"You busy?"
Kevin finally looked up, and he started when he saw Scotty standing behind Justin, looking a little nervous and embarrassed and so damn hot.
"No," he said slowly. "What - ?"
Justin turned to look at Scotty for a moment. At Scotty’s expression, he faced Kevin again and began to speak.
"Um, Scotty’s having some legal problems, and we thought maybe you could help him out."
Kevin glanced over at Scotty, who gave him a small, sheepish smile.
"Yeah, yeah. Sure." Kevin gestured to the nearest guest seat.
Scotty looked at the chair for a beat before quickly walking over and sitting down. Justin started to join him, and Kevin stopped him.
"Hold on a sec." He turned to Scotty. "If you’re comfortable with it, I would suggest you tell me the issue privately. If it should happen to go to court, then we might be able to use Justin as a character witness. We would want to make sure that you both told me any information separately."
"Um..." Justin looked over at Scotty, who gave him a small nod. "OK. Well, I’ll see if Tyler’s free for lunch and I’ll meet up with you later? Good luck."
He rested a hand briefly on Scotty’s shoulder then turned to walk out of the room. As he reached the door, he gave Kevin a grateful smile. Kevin faced Scotty again.
"Just...tell me what the problem is. Take as long as you need."
***
Unlike when he told Justin what had happened, Scotty censored the majority of his sexual history (or lack thereof). He only shared what had happened with Joe and immediately after. Nonetheless, he was still blushing by the end of it. Kevin listened quietly and seriously. He occasionally interrupted to ask Scotty a question. And he was very kind and professional. But part of Scotty still felt like he was under a microscope. Part of him was just waiting for Kevin to shrug and say it was his own fault - it wasn’t like he didn’t know what could happen, after all.
And part of Scotty felt like there was a big neon sign over his head, saying "yep, I like guys, and I want you to take me right over your desk, right now."
At the end of the story, Kevin took a deep breath, twirling his pen in his fingers before leaning forward onto his elbows. "Scotty, I want to be honest with you. There are several ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ cases at various stages of appeal right now. This could be a very long, drawn-out case, and there’s no guarantee we’d win it."
"I know," Scotty nodded. "And...I don’t want to be some poster child for knocking down the law. I’m not looking to go to the Supreme Court with this. I don’t even really care if they don’t reinstate all of my benefits. I just want to be able to afford physical therapy so my knee can get better and I can move on with my life."
"OK," Kevin nodded. "If we play that angle, we might be able to make it work. After all, if someone gets injured on the job, you don’t get to just fire them to get out of paying workers' comp."
Scotty laughed in relief. He was still feeling a little awkward and embarrassed - and not just a little turned-on by Kevin’s lawyer attitude. But he was also starting to feel like the tide was turning. Like he had made it through the worst, and he was taking control of his life again.
Kevin looked at him for a long moment. "Have you eaten?" he finally asked. "I’m starving. Let’s get lunch and discuss strategy."
Scotty couldn’t stop the smile the invitation caused. "OK," he said quietly.
***
Kevin nearly kicked the door open. Refusing to stop kissing Scotty, he hooked his pointer fingers in the other man’s belt loops and pushed him through the doorway. Scotty moaned, pulling him closer with one hand, while reaching out with the other to close the door. He then pushed back against Kevin, forcing him against the door. He pulled back from the kiss, panting harshly, and quickly moved to suck and bite and lick at Kevin’s neck. Scotty pressed into Kevin as closely as he could, rubbing against him. Kevin could feel the long hardness of his erection and unconsciously rocked his own hips up to meet it.
"God. God," he muttered.
Scotty grinned, lifting his hands to bury them in Kevin’s hair. He rose up to nibble on Kevin’s earlobe. "I thought you were hungry," he whispered, laughing breathlessly.
"I am," Kevin moaned. He found the strength, somewhere, to push back against Scotty, to spin them until Scotty’s back was against the door instead. "And I know exactly what I want."
Kevin swiftly dropped to his knees, running his hands along Scotty’s torso as he moved downwards. He leaned forward, nuzzling Scotty before mouthing him through his pants. He reached his hands to the button and paused, looking up at Scotty. Scotty, his hands resting lightly on Kevin’s head, bit his lip to stifle a moan. Then he smiled at Kevin and just barely nodded.
Kevin worked quickly, unbuttoning and unzipping the pants, freeing Scotty. He ran one hand lightly along the length, and he couldn’t control the small, anticipatory noise deep in his throat. Finally, he leaned forward, taking Scotty into his mouth. Scotty’s fingers in his hair tightened, then relaxed; his head fell back against the door with a thud.
"Oh...Oh God, Kevin...yes...Kevin...Kevin..."
"Kevin?"
Kevin quickly shook his head, clearing it of the fantasy. He glanced, embarrassed, at Scotty across the table from him and tried to ignore the fact that he was achingly hard. "Sorry," he said, then cleared his throat. "I’m sorry. What did you say?"
Scotty looked adorably perplexed. "Um, I asked if you wanted to split an appetizer."
"Right. Sorry. Yeah, why not?" he said with forced nonchalance.
"Are you OK?"
"Yeah, I’m fine." Kevin could feel the blush rising to his cheeks.
***
The phone was ringing when Kevin walked into his loft that evening. He quickly hurried over to it and picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Kevin?"
The connection was somewhat poor, but he could still recognize the voice. "Jason! Oh my God, oh my God! I've missed you."
"Is something wrong? You seem - "
"No, no. Sor - It’s just your voice."
"I know. I’m sorry I haven’t called much lately. Things have been really...awful. I just knew if I talked to you but couldn’t see you or - or touch you, it would have been even worse."
"Oh, it’s OK. I’ve just been worried. You’re fine now, though? Tell me everything."
And they talked for longer than they should have, considering the international rates. Jason told him about the mission and Malaysia and the crisis of faith he’d been having. Kevin told him about his family and his cases - all of them except Scotty’s - and how lonely he was. Then they moved onto other topics, topics Kevin probably should have felt guilty about, considering Jason was staying in a church. But he didn’t care, because afterwards, as he recovered, he could hear Jason’s voice in his ear, whispering sweet nothings and I love yous, and all of his confusing emotions and desires straightened themselves out in his mind, at least for a short time.
"I love you too," he said softly.
***
"Hi, my name’s Scotty, and I’m an addict. I’ve been clean for just over four months."
"Hi Scotty!" Scotty nodded to himself as the group responded to his introduction. He glanced at Justin, who smirked back at him.
"I’ve been thinking a lot lately about...about dating and falling in love." Scotty held up a hand. "I know, I know. That’s supposed to be the last thing on my mind, but this is...purely hypothetical, I guess. The last person - and really the first person - I ever fell for, died because of it. For the longest time, I - I blamed myself for that. I as good as killed him. And I think I realize now that I was taking the pills to get away from the pain of that, more than the pain in my knee." Scotty took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling and blinking. "And I’m scared now. I’m scared that when I am ready, when I do meet someone again, that I’ll hurt them, destroy them too. And even if I don’t, why would anyone want to be with me? I mean, nobody ever says ‘yeah, my dream guy’s an ex-junkie.’ And then even if they manage to get past that, what happens if it doesn’t work out? What happens if I’m alone and hurt again? Will I start using? Will I be able to resist the temptation? I don’t want to live my life alone, but I’m too scared not to."
Scotty paused and stared down at the podium.
"Anyway, that’s my homework. I’m going to be working on that, trying to figure out how to deal with those issues so when the time comes...I can live my life and be happy."
Scotty looked back up. "Thanks," he said quietly, and walked back to his seat.
He sat down next to Justin, who gave him an encouraging smile. Justin reached out and placed a hand on Scotty’s shoulder, and Scotty exhaled.
***
"Coffee break!"
Sarah called out cheerfully as she walked into Kevin’s office. Kevin made a noncommittal noise in response, before removing his pen from his mouth and marking something on the document in front of him.
"Whatcha working on?"
"A case," Kevin said.
Sarah rolled her eyes. "Obviously," she said, sitting down opposite him. "If it’s something for Ojai, I give you permission to stop working."
Kevin finally looked up at her. Closing the folder, he said, "It’s not for Ojai."
"Is it that oil tanker spill? Because you should be ashamed of yourself."
"This company has clients who pay for our services. I don’t always get to pick and choose who I want to defend, you know. And, no, it’s not. It’s a pro bono thing I’m doing."
"Ooh! What?"
Kevin looked at her in annoyed disbelief. "Attorney-client privilege? Ever hear of it?"
"You’re no fun," Sarah said, taking a sip of her coffee.
Just as Kevin was about to respond, his intercom buzzed. "Kevin? Scotty Wandell on line one."
Kevin reached over and pressed the button. "Thanks," he said. Holding up a finger at a very curious Sarah, he picked up the handset and pressed another button.
"Scotty? Hi, how are you?...Thanks for calling me back." Kevin laughed at something the other man said, and Sarah’s eyebrows - already high on her forehead - rose even higher. "Yeah, I’ve finished reviewing some other cases, and I think we could probably schedule a meeting with - yeah, yeah. OK, let me know your schedule...Yeah, sure...yeah, sure, coffee tomorrow?...Great. See you then. Bye."
Kevin hung up and looked back at Sarah with a determinedly unconcerned expression.
"Scotty Wandell as in Justin’s Scotty?" Sarah asked.
Kevin sighed. "Well, I don’t think he would describe himself as such, but yes - him."
"And since when are you two friends?"
"We’re - we’re not friends. He’s having trouble getting some stuff with the Army straightened out, and I said I’d help."
"Uh-huh," Sarah said, smiling in disbelief. "You know, Tyler suspects he might be gay."
Kevin took a drink of his coffee. "What? He pinged her gaydar?"
"What does yours tell you?"
Kevin stared at Sarah for a long beat. Suddenly, she grinned. "You do like him."
Kevin turned away, trying not to blush. "I do not. I have a boyfriend, whom I love."
"You want him to put on his uniform and order you around the bedroom."
"Just...shut up and let me work."
Sarah, still laughing, stood up. "OK." She walked to the office door, humming Kevin and Scotty, sitting in a tree under her breath. At the door, she faced Kevin and turned serious. "Just be careful, OK?"
Kevin looked up at her. "Don’t worry about me."
"I’m not. I’m worried about him."
***
"Hey!"
Scotty turned around with a smile. "Hi, Kevin."
He was the next person in line at the coffee shop and as he stepped forward, Kevin walked up next to him. "What do you want?" Scotty asked, nodding at the person behind the counter.
"Oh, I got it," Kevin said, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet.
"Would you just let me buy you a cup of coffee?"
Kevin laughed, holding up his hands in surrender. "Tall house roast, black," he said to the employee.
"Boring," Scotty said, laughing. "I think I’ll have an iced caramel macchiato today."
"That sounds disgusting," Kevin replied.
"Go sit down," Scotty ordered.
"Yes, sir."
Kevin walked outside to the patio and sat at his usual table to wait for Scotty. He tried not to think of Sarah’s comment the previous day, and why that ‘yes, sir’ made him wonder if Scotty did still have his uniform.
He saw Scotty walking towards him, holding their drinks in his hand. A child ran away from her mother and nearly knocked him down. Scotty quickly side-stepped, and Kevin cringed, waiting for him to spill the drinks. Scotty managed to keep his balance, however, and just kept walking to the table.
"Impressive," Kevin informed him.
"Oh, that?" Scotty laughed. "It was nothing. I used to work as a waiter."
And now, all Kevin could think of was Scotty in some tight, white caterer’s jacket. He clenched his fist, digging his nails into his palms, thought of Jason, and took a deep breath.
"Want to talk about the case?"
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