I miss my best friend.

Goto viceland.com.
Click on North America.
Go to the bottom right corner and play zombiegrinder 6000
You will not regret it.

I’ve never trusted or liked living things born outside of the womb: birds, fish, test-tube babies. It seems to me they lack the warmth, character, and soul you get from a viviparous birth. I mean, what are they, too good to be birthed live by their own mother? “Sorry mom, I don’t wanna be seen popping head first out of your vagina when I come into ( Read more... )

I ( Read more... )

I had just left a particularly un-engaging lecture about nuclear deterrence when I happened upon what appeared to be a brown paper bag filled with air. I had planned on crushing the brown paper bag with the heel of my boot in the hopes that it would make a loud "Pop", a noise that I have found particularly enjoyable ever since I heard it for the ( Read more... )

http://www.chaosinterrupted.com/mountforever/pineridge.mov

Me at work today:
Tyler, my kind-of-boss: So where you from man?
Me: Delray.
Tyler: Delray, huh? Do you know Gideon?
Me:HaHaHaHaHa

My little Fergula is comming down tommorow! Rejoice! Hanker down your women and padlock your fridge. I think we shall shotgun brews and recite Ginsberg to each other in the nude. Well it's $1.50 pitcher night at the PITs, so I'm off.

P.S. Donald, you know what you have to do.

Interview at Whole Foods tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm so paranoid about the cops. I never would have cared, but a night in 33rd has made me a police pussy. I'm betting on a back-breaking workload and racial profiling to make me a non-priority. If you don't see me in a day, call the station. And buy me a gun.