On the way to the computer lad today...

[whiteymustdie]

I had just left a particularly un-engaging lecture about nuclear deterrence when I happened upon what appeared to be a brown paper bag filled with air. I had planned on crushing the brown paper bag with the heel of my boot in the hopes that it would make a loud "Pop", a noise that I have found particularly enjoyable ever since I heard it for the first time in the 2nd grade. In the last few seconds before I squashed the bag, I noticed that it was actually a frog and I made a last second adjustment that sent me into a full frontal split. In the process, I emitted a high pitched "Yeeeeeee" that had a very similar sound to that of a Yorkie's yelp when its tail has been stepped on. A rather bland fellow wearing a pink "Chicks dig me" t-shirt walked right up to me and belted a "Ha!" right into my face. If this was the wild west I would have called him out then and there and put a .45 inch hole in his stomach before he would have had time to blink. As he took his last few strained and excruciating breaths and wallowed in the gravy of sand and blood that would be his deathbed, I would walk over his body, and with the sun shining over my head, I'd tell him, "It's not wise to laugh at me." That would be the last thing he would ever see and it would be the final image in his brain before it roted in an oaken box. Unfortunately, gun play has fallen out of fashion and he was particularly lucky enough to encounter me on a day without my forty-five.

Also, within the next week, I should have both a house phone and a cell phone. They're 407-380-5176 and 561-248-5148, respectively. If you ever want me to call you, you should post your number.

Besides that, I'm rather busy these days baking bread for whole foods and living next to a lovely lady. I'm rather pleased with all of that and I can't say I'm depressed about anything.