I've got three options. (I) I am clean shaven, which causes people to card me for R rated movies at an age where a kid on StarCraft (whose mother will not allow him to tell me how old he is) marvels at how 'old' I am. (II) I have half a week worth of stubble, which is just the right amount of prickly to piss off my wife. (III) I have at least a ( Read more... )

I've had a few friends here, and a few friends on facebook, talk about what a horrible company AdChoices is. It is something that I was able to sympathize with, but I was never able to empathize. The fact that an ad company might be stalking me online and tailoring its messages to my lifestyle is a little creepy - but I've never experienced a ( Read more... )

I understand geodesic distances. I know that Shanghai and Chicago are on opposite sides of the northern hemisphere. I know that a flight plan that travels along few latitude values would hit major resistance from the jet stream. The conclusion is obvious, but I was still stunned when I looked out the window and saw us doing a fly-by of Santa's ( Read more... )

Story 1: Wanna hear a dirty joke? Yeah? Scott got dirty playing in mud. Ha ha. Wanna hear a clean joke? Scott washed the mud off in a bath with bubbles. Ha ha. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the woman next door ( Read more... )

A week and a half ago we drove up to Michigan with a passenger in the back seat to see our friends get married. The bride hoped that the timing with the seasons would allow them to take pictures with golden and blazing foliage. The plan worked - if the photographer acted intentionally. The trees don't hibernate in sync here the way a Virginia ( Read more... )

It's probably pretty obvious to most, but there are some lessons that I need to learn the hard way. So that those of you who haven't thought about it can learn the easy way, I give a piece of advise: when you are looking for a good exit off of an interstate to eat lunch, avoid McDonalds with Playplace's on days when schools are closed because of

Several hundred young women, primarily eighteen years of age, gathered in a group on the north quad just before the student union. It was a weird sort of mosh pit: everyone crowded around and emotions ran wild as eyes darted around the world, but the bodies did not follow the eyes. Each girl stood relatively still for such a charged atmosphere. ( Read more... )

Okay, most college football teams have a "if you get arrested you're off the team. If it turns out you're innocent, we may let you back on... but we wont apologize for making this worse for you because this is our policy" policy. Doesn't matter what the offense was; if it involved handcuffs then it's over. I completely agree with this policy; ( Read more... )

Tuesday I opened the left drawer below my bathroom sink, pulled out my girlfriend's tweezers, and began plucking nose hairs. As I stopped by CVS to pick up my regular medication Wednesday, I purchased an ankle brace to wear as I run across the field of divots and ruts that we use to play ultimate frisbee as I can not sprint on that surface anymore ( Read more... )

Illinois is not a football school. Nothing was going to look like a football school given the places I am coming from - Clemson, Virginia Tech, and Florida. But even when I try to calibrate for that, Illinois is still not a football school ( Read more... )