Mike finds it ironic that for all their home furnishings and decorative items, IKEA doesn’t sell ropes. He’d rather hang himself than deal with this Swedish Meatball Specter shit. The highest thread count of sheets they have is 380 and he’s pretty sure that’s not strong enough. Maybe if he shreds them and then braids them together…
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OMG NO THAT OPENING PARAGRAPH. MIKE, YOU FABULOUS, JADED MOTHERFUCKER, MARRY ME
lol at brad snapping at them to stay in character, like it's some mystery dinner party or something
omg, did he really just say lol? omg oh no he didn't
HAHAHA lol so hard at erik being the first to bail at the first sign of trouble. he so would.
The score is 3-1 and the Whitecaps are ironically beating the Galaxy. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god! Oh my god, L.D., you should see your face right now!!! You can't beat me. You can't beat me!! Not in FIFA, and sure at hell not on the pitch! I'm an Adonis, L.D, a Canadian Adonis. You're lucky I chose basketball, or you'd be out of a job right now. I'd take your job! Actually, no, in all honesty, they did offer it to me, but like, I couldn't do that to you, you know? I just-- ow. Stop-- Landon! Ack! No, stop, that-- that actually hurts!
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