Lay-out Change

[weirdsister_fis]

I changed my lay-out this morning, since I've had the The Horrors one for more than 4 years and I felt like it did not fit me anymore

Comments

[maiden_mist]

just one thing: it's true you can't do everything, but what you can do, you should do. :D It is calming indeed to write down in the journals. I have about 5, I;m on my 6th(started writing when I was 11).

[weirdsister_fis]

You can't do anything refers to my maladaptive schema of "too high standards/goals"
so with you saying "what you can do, you should do" you are massively triggering that. Just a heads up so you maybe can think about that.

Because for some people, like me, "You can do everything (if you want to)" which is on some motivational posters i know of, isn't a positive thing. To us "high goals" people, it means: "Hey you, you should accomplish everything possible, do everything and fill every expectation and if you fail to do so, you didn't really want it. You slacked and didn't try (hard) enough. You are a miserable excuse of a human being. You are weak and do not deserve anything."

[maiden_mist]

No no no, I didn't mean too high standards or goals. By that I meant "asses what you think it's too much for you, regardless of what others say, and what isn't too much, and deal with what it's ok to do." Even if it's small things. I am aware than nobody can do everything and that there is a limit, don't worry, I never thought of implying "do everything and fill every expectation". Because especially for you, I think it's helpful to try and don't give a damn about people's expectations and set up your own expectations. Not too big, because nothing big comes in a short time. It's all about small steps. And besides, of course that if you're trying to do everything, there will be some things that you maybe didn't want to do, because nobody can do everything, and those things that one failed in were either undesirable or just too high to achieve. So in no way the result "you're miserable and weak and don't deserve anything" is fair, at least to me. It's a very negative thought...:( I understand what it stands on, though, but nobody should

[maiden_mist]

PS: I don't like the title. -_-

[kattidya]

Wow, your new layout is awesome, I love it! :D Very cute and artsy, and I love the kitty! ^_^ I liked the punk girl icon, but the new one is good too.

[weirdsister_fis]

I adore your icon! What a cute squiddy!

[suomigoth]

I like the new lay-out! The header is a little off, but that's so hard to get right with LJ these days...
I like the motivational icon even more! It's a great one. Just to realise thats okay if you cannot do everything, that's a real win. Not an easy mindset to get though...

[weirdsister_fis]

Yeah, the new s2 lay-outs work differently than the older one, so i could not figure out how to adjust the header. :s

Exactly why i choose the icon. Might help to remind myself so once in a while.