Comments | weddingplans: Advice Needed Concerning Bridesmaid Stuff?

werkelijkheid90 in weddingplans

Advice Needed Concerning Bridesmaid Stuff?

Feb 11, 2010 22:44

Our tentative date at this point is November 19th, 2011, so there is still sometime to figure all of this out. Nevertheless, I thought I'd pick yall's brains for some helpful advice in this arena and get an idea of what might be the most polite, thoughtful way to go about things. Also, I sifted through the earlier entries as much as my attention ( Read more... )

attendants: bridesmaids, etiquette, attendants: asking

Comments 19

schexyschteve February 12 2010, 06:51:41 UTC

I'd wait to ask your bridal party. You're nearly two years out, and you never know what could happen in your life between now and then.

A lot of people tell the bridesmaid to find a dress in X color and possibly even X length ("Find a kneelength teal dress"). I've heard that a lot of bridesmaid find that more stressful though, for some reason.

feathersgirl February 12 2010, 07:12:57 UTC

i agree with all of this. I had planned on first to let my girls just get any black dress they wanted and ALL of them freaked out on me. We ended up going together and all picked out a dress together. They weren't comfortable with picking a dress i might not like or that wouldn't look good with someone else's.

Talk to your girls though because another one of my friends is getting married tomorrow and all of the girls picked their own dresses and had no problem.

faecat February 12 2010, 17:09:52 UTC

I'd wait to ask your bridal party. You're nearly two years out, and you never know what could happen in your life between now and then.

This this this. I asked my bridal party 18 months ahead of time, and a year later, had a bridesmaid I absolutely did not want to be around EVER -- except she was married to one of my husband's good friends and groomsmen, so kicking her out would have been more drama than I was willing to deal with. If I'd waited until 8 months beforehand, I would have had a much different wedding party, and I would have been much happier with my choice of bridesmaids.

allamaroo February 12 2010, 17:25:37 UTC

YUUUUP. I asked a girl and then decided that I didn't want her to get hammered and make a scene and offend my whole family at the reception. So I decided just to have my mom stand up with me and do away with bride's maids altogether. You never know what can happen.

eightydollsyell February 12 2010, 06:56:12 UTC

We had all our girls wear black dresses of their choice and it worked out great and they were very happy about the arrangement. If you want pictures let me know.

as for asking friend #1: next time you are on the phone with her bring it up casually about how you want her at your side on your big day but also understand if she doesn't feel comfortable with it. Leave it up to her to figure out if she's ok with it. I would also mention this to the other friend so that everybody is on the same page and there are no hard feelings if she decides she isn't up to it.

_fluzzy February 12 2010, 12:31:33 UTC

I do!

eightydollsyell February 12 2010, 19:28:28 UTC

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werkelijkheid90 February 12 2010, 21:31:44 UTC

How gorgeous! I love the dark blue shawls against the black! I also like that every bridesmaid has her own style and interpretation of the dress, sort of like a representation of their different personalities! This looks awesome. I think I'm sold on this idea now. =)

vmdesign February 12 2010, 07:00:49 UTC

Go ahead and ask the girl!! It's been two months! She obviously knows you are still getting married, and while it may be a little difficult for her to think about her almost-marriage, it doesn't mean the world quits turning.

My sister had assorted dresses of our choosing for her wedding. She gave us a color and we picked the dress. The only thing I would suggest is to specify a length--she wound up with two full length and two cocktails and that was just weird to me. In fact, I picked a cocktail because I chose my dress last and *I* made the decision to balance it out. Quite often, it makes the bridal party look better just because all the girls are comfortable with their dresses and everyone wears something that fits their own style.

_fluzzy February 12 2010, 12:30:45 UTC

I'm having my brides people all wear a black knee-length dress and I'll supply a purple sash and silver necklace. My bridesmaids were happy about this.

cmonbella February 12 2010, 18:06:37 UTC

this is what i plan on doing :)

cgtat3 February 12 2010, 12:42:32 UTC

It's up to you about the dresses. But this is what I did. My date is 10-10-10. In May 09 I asked my 3 girls. I also said I would like for (2 out of 3) of my girls (who live near me) to go with me in July to pick out a dress that they would like. I explained the style I would like and preferred to keep total under $200 (including tax). I'm also letting them wear whatever silver colored shoes they wanted, and can wear their hair anyway they like. I told them that 1/2 the dress money would be due in November, and the other half whenever the dresses came in. (Which should be soon.) All 3 were thrilled about this. 1) because they knew what the cost would be, 2) they had several months between each payment to save up, and 3) they picked a dress that all 3 loved. So I know you can wait until closer to the date to ask, but if you ask sooner than later they can be prepared to save up little by little ( ... )