I was always under the impression that you get to pick either a bridal shower OR bachelorette party, but that doesn't seem to be the case sometimes. I'm forgoing a bridal shower, and just having a bachelorette party. :)
I had originally said no to a bridal shower, because I'm not good at being the center of attention and, as you say, I felt everyone else had a better use for their time and money.
But after a bit it became evident that my mom and grandmother would be pretty hurt if I didn't have one, so I set my friend (I don't have a bridal party, really, but she's been my right hand since January) up with my mom and told them, "do what you like, and I'll show up when you tell me to. Here are the weekends I can't fly up there."
See if you can get a feeler for if anyone is expecting it of you. If you have, say, older relatives who think you should, it might be easier just to roll with it than to fight it. It doesn't have to be a big to-do and you don't have to receive expensive gifts.
(Actually, I'm used to the shower being for inexpensive or humorous gifts -- this whole thing where you give $100 items off of the wedding registry is not something I saw until I joined this community.)
It's really up to you. Most brides I know, especially younger ones (or ones who love parties) have had both a bridal shower and a bachelorette party. Don't think of the shower as just a gift grab, people in this community have definitely done showers where in lieu of gifts people brought food and they had a pot luck party with the same games etc as a shower.
I think most people do assume you're going to have a shower. If there's stuff you'd like to register for, like upgrades or stuff for your house, then go for it! Your guests can decide whether it's worth the money by going to it or not or by what they buy. One of the things I like about the showers is that it's a nice way for people that are close to you or your FH to meet each other and maybe get to know each other a bit before the wedding.
You know, I don't really give a flip about a shower either. I just assume people will bring gifts to the wedding-- gifts of money, that is. Hehe. Just kidding.
In all seriousness, we aren't having a shower. It would be nice, but it's just not going to work, since all of my friends are on the other side of the country and also, many of my friends and family are broke.
We registered and I bet people will order online. Some gifts will come our way.
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But after a bit it became evident that my mom and grandmother would be pretty hurt if I didn't have one, so I set my friend (I don't have a bridal party, really, but she's been my right hand since January) up with my mom and told them, "do what you like, and I'll show up when you tell me to. Here are the weekends I can't fly up there."
See if you can get a feeler for if anyone is expecting it of you. If you have, say, older relatives who think you should, it might be easier just to roll with it than to fight it. It doesn't have to be a big to-do and you don't have to receive expensive gifts.
(Actually, I'm used to the shower being for inexpensive or humorous gifts -- this whole thing where you give $100 items off of the wedding registry is not something I saw until I joined this community.)
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In all seriousness, we aren't having a shower. It would be nice, but it's just not going to work, since all of my friends are on the other side of the country and also, many of my friends and family are broke.
We registered and I bet people will order online. Some gifts will come our way.
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