Comments | weddingplans: bar etiquette

tresjoliecoco in weddingplans

bar etiquette

Jan 20, 2009 19:42

What do you think about cash bar vs. open bar? Our friends over at "the knot" tell us that it's not c-lassy to have guests pay for drinks. I agree in principle, but the suggested starting budget in their workbook is 30K. We're working with half of that.

One thing we're considering is doing a wine pour-- that way, they get drinks with dinner (and ( Read more... )

reception: beverages, alcohol

Comments 63

manraysky January 21 2009, 04:09:14 UTC

Growing up, every wedding I ever went to was cash bar. I never knew there was another way to do it! When I worked at a hotel in MA, I'd say it was pretty evenly split between cash bars and open bars. I've definitely known people who were absolutely appalled at the very idea of a cash bar. I don't think it's a big deal at all.

I think a limited bar can be a good way to go, to save money. Offering just beer, wine, and soft drinks, or a selection of signature cocktails works well. In my experience, at open full bars people will frequently waste drinks. They'll get a drink, set it down, forget about it, get another, etc. I think with a limited selection, that happens a lot less.

gleipnir23 January 21 2009, 04:09:16 UTC

I think it depends on where you are from. In WI where I am from, cash bars are standard. In CT where I live now, cash bars are unheard of. Our venue is letting us do a sort of "hybrid" where we have open bar for one hr during the cocktail hour, and then set a "cap" on the bar, so we'll have like a $1500 open bar tab or something like that, and when it's gone, then the bar will be cash. We're hoping that will last another 2-3 hours at least (100 guests, and at least 50% of them don't drink, which is why open bar for us was very un-economical)

tresjoliecoco January 21 2009, 04:45:09 UTC

A capped bar sounds like a good idea, and definitely something I'll bring up with the venue. I think an open bar at both locations we're considering is $15/hr per head, which is ridiculous for 125 people (possibly more people if all our parents' cousins show up) and would bankrupt us! Thanks.

swankette January 21 2009, 04:16:03 UTC

To me it's comparable to inviting friends over to dinner at your house and saying "we're OK if you want to drink, but you've got to bring your own bottle of wine because we won't have any."

Since I would never host a guest in my home that way, I wouldn't want to host a guest in a larger environment in that way.

triedthistwice January 21 2009, 04:40:10 UTC

lol Those types of parties are actually quite popular where I'm from.

bratlet January 21 2009, 06:55:45 UTC

seconded. But then again, my friends and I are big drinkers when we decide to be. And sometimes we all fire our money together and send someone to the liquor store as our "ambassador to liquor" but were crazy like that.

Oh and your icon it made of awesomeness!

potentlyalive January 21 2009, 19:57:44 UTC

OMG your icon!

I miss Firefly so much...

Thread 10

hiitssarie January 21 2009, 04:23:25 UTC

I agree with you swankette 100%

morningapproach January 21 2009, 04:32:32 UTC

I have been to a few wedding where it has been a cash bar. If you ask me personally, all of the ettiquette rules are stupid - as long as you are happy and getting married and having friends and family with you, who gives a shit what anyone else says about your wedding.

remin January 21 2009, 15:03:20 UTC

I disagree on this point. I think if you are inviting guests to your important event because you love/care about them, then it would follow logically that you would want them to be comfortable and happy too. Accomodating loved ones and seeing that they have a good time is, to me, very important...but bending over backwards is another thing.

morningapproach January 21 2009, 15:54:05 UTC

Obviously I want them to be comfortable and happy - I think that I didn't explain myself properly.

I think that all of these ettiquette rules are incredibly stupid, and that noone really cares about ettiquette at weddings these days - manners and appearances, yes. Whose name should come first on the invitations? Noone gives a s**t.

My point to the OP was do what will make her happy, and if a few people aren't super pleased with having a partial cash bar then it really sucks for them, but it isn't the end of the world. How people at a wedding get their liquor isn't the most important factor at a wedding. As long as the bride and groom have their family and friends there to celebrate the day with them that is what is important.